I. Tradition I always wanted the kind of holidays you see in Publix commercials, ones stuffed with family sitting around a mile-long table that’s covered with dishes all lovingly made. I imagined waking on Thanksgiving to frosted windows and a house already warm from the oven. Aunts and uncles and cousins would stagger in throughout the day, some early enough to watch the parade while the air slowly turned savory; some just in time…

so i just hold the beanspoon near my nose and scream, is that right ah, waiter, another bunch of raw green onions for the table, please YELLING NEAR BEANS IS WHAT EATING IS…

Is it wrong for a toad to eat a bat? Does it subvert the Great Chain of Being? This is a question we must consider as a group, before it is too late. A cane toad in Peru has very nearly swallowed a bat whole and entire: This greedy critter was busted mid-meal snacking on a hapless bat he'd plucked out of the air just seconds earlier. . Peruvian park ranger Yufani Olaya…