I am a person who, like Bilbo Baggins, prefers comfort and regular meals to sleeping outdoors and having adventures. It is my belief that The Hobbit, while excellent, would have been vastly improved had the bit with the dwarves been edited out and Tolkien had stuck to 200 pages of Bilbo making cozy-ass meals and going to bed early.

Presented without further comment:

The Hobbit, Improved or There and Snack Again

Chapter One: No…