The pilot has abruptly and completely forgotten how to fly, and is desperate to figure out what's happening to him before anyone else on board notices. "Get me a coffee while you're stretching your legs, will you, Jim?" he bellows tonelessly as his copilot unbuckles himself. His hands tremble as he stretches them over the sickeningly alien panel of flashing lights and impenetrable signals. Nothing, he thinks to himself. I remember nothing. And with this he…

First of all, no one gets the personal space they deserve on a plane. Accept that right off the bat; do not sink into pity for your seatmate if he is 6'7 and convince yourself that he merits the armrest between the two of you. You are on a plane; you are bound now only by Skylaw. The rules of God and man no longer apply. Wring mercy clean from your heart. I promise that…

In a stunning, sublime act of teen dirtbaggery, after an argument with his parents (which we can only pray was about fine ham) this weekend, a San Jose teenager ran away from home by hopping the fence and stowing away in the wheel well of a plane bound for Hawaii. The FBI is calling it a "miracle" and the airline says a teen who hopped the fence at a San Jose airport is…