For reference. "Excuse me," he asked quietly, "Is this seat taken?" She looked up, lusciously, from the New York Times (but in German) and blinked, still lusciously, before smiling. "No, please go ahead." He sat down and smiled back. "So," he said, "is the coffee any good here?" She let the Times (still in German) drop to her (still luscious) lap. "No," she said. "And I blame--" "--the Internet," he finished, almost unconsciously, until he realized they'd both…

Jonathan Franzen is the angriest novelist in the world. He is the novelist who is so angry he cannot move. He cannot eat. He cannot sleep. He can just barely growl. Bound so tightly with tension and anger, he approaches the state of rigor mortis. He is angry because Salman Rushdie uses Twitter, and nowadays people can buy books on the Internet, and the Home Depot, and he had to go to Germany one time,…