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just straight up messed up stuff

Animals

We Have Got To Talk About How Messed Up Turtle Penises Are

by Mallory Ortberg · May 19, 2015
I know about this, and now you have to, too.
Animals

A Butterfly Is Just A Moth Lie

by Mallory Ortberg · April 29, 2015
A moth is the worst bug for real and for true, but that doesn't mean butterflies are any good.
Books

G.R.R. Martin’s Redwall

by Mallory Ortberg · June 4, 2014
Excerpts from G.R.R. Martin's latest "Redwall" novel.

More by Mallory Ortberg

  • Christina Rossetti’s “Goblin Market,” As I Understand It

  • Lord Byron’s “Fare Thee Well,” or “I Just Think It’s Funny How”

  • Questions I Have Asked During The Only Episode Of Doctor Who I Have Ever Seen Until My Friend Said “Okay, Mallory, Why Don’t You Write Your Questions Down And Ask Them All After We’re Done Watching?”

  • Joan Didion and Anna Wintour: Best Friends Forever

Recent

Hey Ladies: We Wrote a Book!
Christina Rossetti’s “Goblin Market,” As I Understand It
Lord Byron’s “Fare Thee Well,” or “I Just Think It’s Funny How”
Questions I Have Asked During The Only Episode Of Doctor Who I Have Ever Seen Until My Friend Said “Okay, Mallory, Why Don’t You Write Your Questions Down And Ask Them All After We’re Done Watching?”
Joan Didion and Anna Wintour: Best Friends Forever
So, How Have You Been Keeping Busy? A Post-Toast Analysis

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