Anna Pulley’s previous work for The Toast can be found here. 

Fifty Shades of Spay

Our heroine finds

herself enslaved by the CUTEST

tripod tabby.

*

Fifty Shades of Stay

Surprise! That “contract”

you signed was for a time-share

in Provincetown!

*

Fifty Shades of Gay

A bisexual

is born and no one questions

her identity.

*

…

Petite Red Head and Caliente Latina Roommates Surprise the Pizza Delivery Man

With a lecture on

how his employer should

compost pizza boxes.

*

Two Blondes Engage in Some Much-Sought-After Pussy Play

Susan and Chris knew

…