Grading Being Mary Jane -The Toast

Strategic use of whispering “I will not cry” immediately before crying: A

Strategic use of professional yet whimsical blazers: B+

Strategic use of throwing that cheating bastard out of your house: A+ (extra credit for strategic use of garden hose)

Strategic use of more crying in front of the TV: A

Strategic use of a busy business woman drinking from an enormous glass of red wine in a cavernous, empty kitchen: A

Strategic use of holding it down: B+

Strategic use of looking perfect on the outside, being anything but perfect on the inside: A

Strategic use of Margaret Avery: C (Needs more Margaret Avery)

Strategic use of elaborate recreational baking: A- (cf. It’s Complicated)

Strategic use of shoe saleswomen who only speak the truth about relationships: A+

Strategic use of Rihanna: A

Strategic use of inspirational Post-It notes: C+ (Pick one; too many clutters up the bathroom mirror)

Strategic use of straw fedoras: A

Strategic use of Revenge references: A

Strategic use of sperm stealing: B

Strategic use of news reports about women who steal sperm: A-

Strategic use of instances of art imitating life, with regard to sperm-stealing: A

Final grade: A-

Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.

Grading Being Mary Jane