Baggage Claim, why weren’t you amazing? You had Jill Scott in a little pink neckerchief. You should have been amazing. Baggage Claim, why won’t you let me love you?

When Paula Patton first sees Langdon (Taye Diggs) on a flight, he’s seated one row in front of another one of her exes (Curtis, I think?) and the two of them start talking, and she makes a comically worried face that seems designed to make the audience worry that the two men will compare stories about her. Yet after Langdon exits the plane, Curtis (??) is never seen again. Why?

An aside: easily the best part of Baggage Claim was the four-minute trailer for The Best Man Holiday. Do you already have your tickets? It premieres November 15th. Do you want to come see it with me? Can you believe it’s been fourteen years since The Best Man came out? How good does Sanaa Lathan look in the trailer? So good, right?

Was Tia Mowry’s “crazy” performance a display of commitment to the role, or just a really terrible idea of what “crazy” looks like?

Jenifer Lewis’ pancake monologue was both fantastic and completely out of place in this movie. It explained exactly zero of her actions and it was marvelous. How did the audience you saw Baggage Claim with feel about that speech? Ours lost interest about forty minutes in.

Whenever Taye Diggs told his yappy little dog Juicy to “go pee,” she trotted around the corner of the hallway, just offscreen, before audibly urinating. This was a clear and obvious choice on the part of the Foley sound effect guys, right? Were we to assume that Taye Diggs encouraged Juicy to pee in the house? She didn’t go outside. There was no doggie-door sound effect. It was clearly the sound of an animal peeing on a hardwood floor. It happened multiple times. What was the audience supposed to infer from this? Was there an explanatory scene that was later cut?

What was Adam Brody doing during this movie? What do you think he based his performance on? It was like he had never met a gay man in his life and right before his first scene someone took him aside and said “Listen, Adam. Gay men love two things: bowties and looking over the tops of their glasses. Remember that and you can’t go wrong,” and then he basically placed those two character traits on top of Seth Cohen.

Related: why did he and Jill Scott hate one another so much? They were both perfectly nice to Montana but treated each other like they’d murdered each other’s mothers. Why did all three of them spend so much time together?

Jill Scott was so great, but I cannot support the bangs she sported during the majority of the movie. Can you?

Why does Paula Patton act like that? I’ve never seen her act in anything else, so I didn’t realize that was what she acted like. Is it drugs? It’s drugs, isn’t it? I can never tell when people are on drugs. It was like right before every scene someone slapped her awake from the middle of a nap and she stumbled onto set, bleary and delirious, somehow manic and heavily sedated at the same time.

Was it appletinis everyone kept drinking through the movie? William even made a pitcher for Montana when she came over to his house in the dream sequence.

Derek Luke was nice. Did you like him? I liked him.

La La Anthony was so good in her three minutes of screentime. How good would her Montana have been, if Paula Patton had broken both her ankles and LaLa had to step in at the last minute?

Did the dream sequence fake you out? It totally faked me out. I totally thought William was going to cheat on Taylor.

Christina Milian, who played Taylor, also guest-starred in Sister, Sister with Tia Mowry back in 1996. Do you remember the name of the episode?

It was nice to see a romantic comedy that didn’t involve a lot of pratfalls. I think Paula Patton fell over her luggage once or twice, but that was pretty much it. This isn’t a question; I just feel like things have been pretty critical so far and I wanted to point out something I enjoyed.

Why would Montana have expected a proposal from Quinton after one date (and, in fairness, a year of semi-acquaintanceship?) More pressingly, how would Quinton have intuited that that was what she was expecting?

Why, during her early-morning conversation with Quinton, did Montana act like she had never had the chance to travel the world? She’s literally a flight attendant. We’re supposed to believe she’s never been to Milan? She just took off the last thirty days of work (during the busiest travel season of the year!) to hop on standby on who knows how many dozens of cross-country flights. Does her airline offer rollover vacation days? Has she been saving all of them up?

The final kiss: not great. Not at all great. Who should William have kissed instead? My list goes: La La Anthony, Jill Scott, the little sister, Jenifer Lewis.

Is it customary to make announcements at wedding rehearsal dinners? It seemed like this was a totally ordinary thing in this movie. Is this customary and I just don’t know about it?

The movie Baggage Claim at no point featured the song “Baggage Claim” by Miranda Lambert. Was this a prudent subversion of expectations, or a gross misstep that signaled worse missteps to come?

Did Paula Patton ever open her eyes all the way? Is that one of the side effects of drugs? I really don’t mean to be uncharitable, but it was drugs, yes? Like in Valley of the Dolls. Drugs.