Kevin Sharp last treated The Toast to the morning utterances of Leonard Cohen.
I.
“Ripley Is Found”
Home
is not a short trip.
Hibernate.
Capable of surviving for long periods
in warmth of a structure.
Areas that are dark and protected.
Ordinary.
Temperatures outside drop.
Naked. Dependent.
Searching for a warmer place to live.
II.
“Ripley Testifies Regarding the Alien & Learns the LV-426 Had Been Colonized”
Professionals commonly
do not recognize
until other signs appear.
Professionals likely
inquisitive in nature.
They are likely
to not recognize
anything new
or out of the ordinary.
There is no scientific evidence presented
There are no
government requirements
There is no magic.
Careful inspection — exclusion is the best choice.
A colony enters. Help.
III.
“After Nightmares of the Alien, Ripley Agrees to go to the Colony”
Although more commonly active
in the evening.
(scurry along walls or running)
–explore their territories–
Teeth and gnaw marks.
During the evening hours, especially when it is dark and quiet.
When a home
is already infested,
prevention methods prove inefficient.
Humans are diet
in the evening. Dark and quiet.
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IV.
“Ripley meets the space marines”
Properly identify:
Some are designed to kill.
Professional control should be sought for knowledge, training and expertise.
However, it should be noted:
populations grow rapidly.
Often require more extreme control measures.
*
V
“An Abandoned Colony and its Sole Survivor (Newt)”
Normally, the home.
(a readily available food source)
A structure, utility lines, pipe openings, gaps beneath doors.
(smell of food).
A single female. Young.
Living within walls.
Running from a normally undisturbed hiding place. Should be exposed
to fresh air and sunshine for a number of hours.
Discovery
(functioning cartridges
must be cautiously attempted
before attempting extermination methods).
*
VI
“Discovery of the Alien Nest”
Nesting habits:
The females
live and breed
in dark areas. build their nests from found objects.
— their offspring —
destruction is
only exhibited when under duress
typically may exhibit
chew marks.
have even been known
to consume humans. Creating openings.
Reproduce.
Reproduce.
VII
“Barricaded After Their Rescue Ship Crashes”
Significant damage to humans
Rarely leave structure
At this time ineffective.
Ultimately they die.
VIII
“Face Huggers Released by Shady Corporation Guy”
Metal or glass containers
with tight lids.
Holes may allow entry.
may be dangerous for humans:
troublesome and dangerous.
The most efficient infestation methods.
IX
“Attacked by Aliens From the Ceiling”
To prevent infestations
all holes should be sealed.
Excellent climbers.
Adept jumpers.
Capable of fitting through openings much smaller than
their bodies.
Black in color, weaned from their mother.
Known for their ability to chew.
These animals can often be heard gnawing and scratching within the walls, running across the ceiling.
Known for their ability to chew.
When infested, prevention methods prove inefficient. The most effective methods prove inefficient.
X
“The Rescue of Newt from the Hive”
In captivity, females may live
usually only one year due to predators, exposure to unfriendly environments
Some are even bred specifically.
Extermination requires
a great deal of work.
From setting traps to disposing of caught specimens, the process can be daunting, messy and disturbing.
However, humans are formidable foes. May cause severe damage.
XI
“Ripley in Final Battle with Alien Queen”
Prior to engaging in any extermination entry points must be identified.
Extermination techniques vary.
An intimate knowledge of
habits and behavior is necessary.
(heightened risk)
To exterminate any infestation
It is advisable to take action
at the first sign.
Extremely difficult to eradicate.
It is best to target
mothers.
XII.
“The Survivors Leave LV-426 and Enter Hyper-Sleep”
Following an infestation
it is important not to disturb.
Respirator should be worn.
Seal tightly. Newly clean area.
Safe and warm.
Safe and warm.
Home.
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