Normal Conversations In Western Art History -The Toast

The play scene in Hamlet, 1897, Edwin Austin Abbey

hey so
how are you liking the play
are you noticing anything about it or something

Leda With the Swan, Hugó Poll

so how does this work exactly

Richard, duke of Gloucester, and the Lady Anne, 1896, Edwin Austin Abbey

hey
hi
so i know
i know you’re busy right now
i just wanted to ask you something
if you have a minute
about getting married

i’m sorry could this just
could this just possibly wait
until after my husband’s funeral

The Unequal Marriage, 1862, Vasili Pukirev

hooray we’re getting married
hooray

Wedding of Maria de Medici and Henry IV of France, 1600, Jacopo da Empoli

ahhhh we’re getting married
i’m going to get to look at your face like
all the time now
im so excited
no i’ll smile later we don’t have time for smiling right now
but i will
for sure

Tristan and Isolde Sharing the Potion, 1912, John William Waterhouse

okay just don’t even worry
like don’t even think about it okay
like i just want you to clear your mind and then drink from this cup
without thinking
one two three go

The End of the Song (Tristan and Isolde), 1902, Edmund Blair Leighton

do you think he suspects
whaaaat
no
we’re being so careful
i mean he’s right behind us
stroking his beard
he just likes that
he just likes the way his beard feels
you’re being paranoid

Who Is Sylvia? What Is She, That All the Swains Commend Her?, 1896, Edwin Austin Abbey

hey
hey over here
its me
idk if you can see me
im over here by the pillar
im the guy who’s looking at you a lot
oh you’re too good to look at me
is that it
come on just look over here for a second
i have a mustache

Romeo and Juliet, I forget who painted this

is this ok
yeah its fine
the kissing i mean
yeah youre good
you just don’t seem
you’re not smiling
or kissing me back or anything
yeah well
what can you do

Jealousy and Flirtation, 1874, Haynes King

ahh well i’m so glad you guys are getting along so great
this is so great now we can all be friends
instead of before
where he was just friends with me
now we can all be friends
at the same time
and that’s a good thing

Samson and Delilah, 1630s, Matthias Stom

no babe just go back to sleep
just keep sleeping
no one’s touching you or like
taking away parts of your body
you’re having a dream

Charlotte Corday, 1860, Paul-Jacques-Aimé Baudry

okay well
enjoy your bath
omg enjoy your blood bath
its a literal blood bath now
ugh i can’t believe no one alive was around to hear that
i’ll never have a chance to say that again
damn