Women Having A Terrible Time At Parties In Western Art History -The Toast

Oh, Christ
Anna, he’s going to start reading poetry at us
what do we do
play dead?
no that’s bears

what’s wrong
nothing’s wrong
nothing’s wrong exactly
don’t you like the flowers
the flowers are fine
i guess i just thought there’d be more
more than the flowers we have blanketing the party?
its fine i guess these are enough
i guess its fine if you dont really care about flowers

EXCUSE ME
YEAH HI EXCUSE ME
CAN WE HELP YOU
YEAH IS THERE SOME WAY WE CAN HELP YOU OVER HERE
THIS BED IS FOR TWO PEOPLE
YOU’RE MAKING US BE THREE PEOPLE AND WE DON’T WANT THAT

oh
you found us
you found us with your guitar
hey guys he found us and he brought his guitar with him

mmk
m’up
m’getting up
getting up in a minute i gotta go home
i cant stay here
do you guys mind if i stay here though

twenty more minutes and i’ll have made it through this entire night without talking to any–
fuck, fuck, the dog sees me

this is the worst orgy ive ever been to

if she plays another fucking organist recital i will literally and actually die right fucking here
NO ONE CAN TALK OVER A BWAMP BWAMP BWAMP ORGAN BLAST
THIS ISN’T AN ORGAN PARTY
IT’S A REGULAR PARTY
THAT YOU ARE RUINING
BY PLAYING THE ORGAN DURING IT

maybe if i keep covering more of my face with my hands
he’ll forget i’m here
and go away

hi hey
what are you doing over here all by yourself
i’m just
enjoying the view
but you’re facing the wrong way
you’re not facing the party
you can’t even see me talking to you
i know

hi there
hi
i hope you have a good reason
i’m sorry?
i said, i hope you have a really good reason
a good reason for what?
i hope you have a really good reason
for touching my fucking dress
I–
because if you dont have one
then i can’t think of a good reason why you should keep your hands
also your mustache looks like a furry piece of actual shit died on your mouth
heads up that that’s what it looks like