Normal Children Who Are Very Comfortable And At Ease In Western Art History -The Toast

normal

normal normal, everything normal here

hello, it’s me: normal things are happening, why don’t you come a little closer and see how normal things can get

diagnosis normal

nooooooorrrrrmalllll

normal normal, time to marry this horse

remember this normal thing from before? it’s back, and it’s NORMAL

normal bed, normal snake, normal secrets and blood

normal deer-washing time, you’re just in time to help us wash this deer for some reason

only some of us have faces, that’s normal, time for blood

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Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.

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+65 Vote up Vote down

ashley · 519 weeks ago

Ohhh Gelert, SO DISTRESSING. Don't murder your dogs, people, they've totally just saved your babies.

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8 replies · active 519 weeks ago

+24 Vote up Vote down

houblonchouffe 123p · 519 weeks ago

D:

D: D: D:

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+197 Vote up Vote down

longlostlullaby 122p · 519 weeks ago

I know that painters didn't have a good grasp on physiology for a long time. I get that. But how did the painter of #7 never notice that babies do not generally have washboard abs? Babies are notoriously bad at crunches.

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13 replies · active 519 weeks ago

+35 Vote up Vote down

slowseptember 103p · 519 weeks ago

MOVE ALONG, NOTHING TO SEE HERE

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+26 Vote up Vote down

Fluffernutter 111p · 519 weeks ago

Chrysalis Babies will haunt my dreams foreveeeeeer

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4 replies · active 517 weeks ago

+29 Vote up Vote down

Frumiosa 141p · 519 weeks ago

Whaaat is happening in number 4 please tell me they are dolls whyyyyy

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4 replies · active 511 weeks ago

+12 Vote up Vote down

RoseMarshmary · 519 weeks ago

I want to look into these artists' minds at the moments they put these lines onto paper/vellum/whatever pigmented surface. Can that be my obscure superpower?

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+20 Vote up Vote down

sausagedog 127p · 519 weeks ago

That last one, though. Illumination that a monk used as a napkin after a greasy lamb shank? Or screenshot from a horror movie as the satanic text begins to shift and morph before the protagonist's very eyes?

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1 reply · active 519 weeks ago

+93 Vote up Vote down

spillionaire 130p · 519 weeks ago

#5 If ALL tampons had faces, people would look FORWARD to menstruation instead of complaining so much.

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4 replies · active 519 weeks ago

+9 Vote up Vote down

thoughthungry · 519 weeks ago

i think i'm ready to cry with laughter

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+17 Vote up Vote down

smeesmeesmee 117p · 519 weeks ago

Jesus. The right-hand cocoon baby. So pale and scary. I mean, they're both scary - two upright cocoon babies looking weird, sure. But for some reason when my eye scanned right and saw the super pale one I jumped a bit.

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6 replies · active 519 weeks ago

+24 Vote up Vote down

Ethylbenzene 119p · 519 weeks ago

Holy shit what even am I looking at.

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+19 Vote up Vote down

irishbreakfasttime 128p · 519 weeks ago

The ginormous sword in the last one, tho. I'm picturing the king-looking guy as a judge in a reality cooking show, berating the dude in green for clearly not having the proper cutlery for precision baby-slicing. "And, frankly, your presentation is crap. Where's my plate? Am I just supposed to jab my oversized fork in randomly while you swing it around by the leg? Christ, at least throw some fresh herbs on that thing to pretty it up a little."

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4 replies · active 519 weeks ago

+72 Vote up Vote down

Es_Petal 120p · 519 weeks ago

!) That is indeed a marriage material horse though.
2) Nobody wants a dirty deer, which means you have to wash them.

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1 reply · active 519 weeks ago

+10 Vote up Vote down

deleted182847 101p · 519 weeks ago

"A MARK VII BABY!"

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1 reply · active 519 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

BestLaidPlans 127p · 519 weeks ago

Why don't you come a little closer, indeed.

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+41 Vote up Vote down

wallofillusion 127p · 519 weeks ago

Is number 8 what happens when the bedbird puts you to bed? Or is it what happens if the bedbird isn't taking care of you??

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1 reply · active 519 weeks ago

+30 Vote up Vote down

decembrian 134p · 519 weeks ago

The babies in #2 fight dirty. Penis-pinching AND hair-pulling? I fully expect one of them ended the fight with an eye gouge.

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1 reply · active 519 weeks ago

+29 Vote up Vote down

Zueignung 109p · 519 weeks ago

Where are the children in the horse painting?

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7 replies · active 513 weeks ago

+90 Vote up Vote down

anninyn 124p · 519 weeks ago

Wow, that woman hammering the baby. It must be really stressful having to forge new babies, all while keeping your hair so flowing. And look at all the babies she still has to forge!

Historical baby-forger really has it more together than me.

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4 replies · active 519 weeks ago

+16 Vote up Vote down

catmanscrothers · 519 weeks ago

Elderly Papoose Baby might just be my new twitter handle

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+29 Vote up Vote down

catmanscrothers · 519 weeks ago

Also this is esp. great if you read it in Cecil Baldwin as Cecil Palmer's drawn-out and totally unconvincing "everything is fiiiiiiiine you guys?!" voice

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1 reply · active 518 weeks ago

+32 Vote up Vote down

HotDoom 108p · 519 weeks ago

I feeeel liiiiike...as cool as dressing as Nature forging babies would be for Halloween, it might possibly go over the wrong way. Maybe, who knows, I don't know.

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+9 Vote up Vote down

jekyllian 141p · 519 weeks ago

um the baby in #4 is CLEARLY a changeling

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2 replies · active 519 weeks ago

+10 Vote up Vote down

winterbymorning 133p · 519 weeks ago

The kid in #3 is dead, right?

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1 reply · active 519 weeks ago

+50 Vote up Vote down

nicoledieker 113p · 519 weeks ago

When I was in elementary school I drew a picture of Romulus and Remus wrestling for a class assignment, and a couple of the other kids said "it looks like they're having sex!" and I didn't really know what sex looked like so I was very embarrassed.

I think that's what happened to our baby-wrestling artists here, too.

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2 replies · active 519 weeks ago

+12 Vote up Vote down

Rosie · 519 weeks ago

is it possible that a couple of these are death portraits - a totally common and VERY NORMAL practice of dressing your baby up and having its portrait done after it died (which was sadly actually pretty normal)?

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+63 Vote up Vote down

Social · 519 weeks ago

The next relative who asks if I'm ever going to have kids is receiving this article.

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+32 Vote up Vote down

builtahouse 123p · 519 weeks ago

If the babies in #5 can be that chill about being physics-defying lace burritos, then I can get through today at work. Good on you, babies. #tinywizenedsages

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2 replies · active 519 weeks ago

+12 Vote up Vote down

rookstone 136p · 519 weeks ago

It's snowing and April is nearly over. Right now I kind of wish somebody would wrap me up in one of those awesomely sarcophagus-like swaddling getups so I could be all toasty warm and have a great excuse to not do anything because oh no my hands are inside my sarcophagus blanky.

...that's normal, right?

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1 reply · active 519 weeks ago

+14 Vote up Vote down

fcjaugusta 103p · 519 weeks ago

#2 and #7 = Boyfights.

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+54 Vote up Vote down

winterbymorning 133p · 519 weeks ago

Surprisingly, I really like #1 because it looks like both halves of one of those "Spot the 10 differences between the 2 pictures!" games in newspapers. The woman on the right has rubies on her choker, while the woman on the left has pearls. The woman on the left is holding a real baby, while the woman on the right is holding an eldritch abomination that has temporarily assumed a human (or human-esque) form.

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+12 Vote up Vote down

BlancheDuBois · 519 weeks ago

So... we're just *not* gonna talk about the muscular, blond baby-fight in #7? I mean, if I was as muscular as those babies, I wouldn't wear clothes to my fights either... but still, its a little disconcerting.

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