Two Medieval Monks Invent Writing -The Toast

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words

MONK #2: i think youre ready to move on to something a little trickier this time
reading and writing

MONK #1: oh wow

MONK #2: the really important thing to remember about writing is that you dont use any words
ever
just blank pages in careful order

MONK #1: oh wow i had no idea

MONK #2: i know
thats what i’m here for haha

writing2

MONK #2: same goes for reading

MONK #1: right right

MONK #2: so be sure not to put any words inside the edges
just more edges

writing3

MONK #2: the other really important thing to remember
is that everyone uses two pens to write, but they still leave the pages blank
“two pens, no words,” thats what we call writing in the biz
the writing biz

MONK #1: are we sure about that though

MONK #2: what do you mean

MONK #1: i mean it sort of looks like a pen and maybe an ink scraper
to scrape ink away
so like if you were actually writing with the pen you would use the ink scraper to —

MONK #2: no
it kind of looks like that but it isn’t
just two pens

MONK #1: okay, okay

MONK #2: write that down so you’ll remember it

MONK #1: oka — wait a second

MONK #2: ahaha
almost had you there
just a little writing prank
to see if you were still paying attention

writing11

MONK #2: see
two pens
this one’s a little messed up because there are almost words, but you get the idea

writing10

MONK #2: a pen for each hand, and a twisted manimal for resting your feet on
do you think youre starting to get it now

MONK #1: maybe
i think so
sorry about the ink scraper thing before

MONK #2: dont worry about it
we all make mistakes

writing4

MONK #2: see he’s got a page with no words, and the other guy is copying out the no-words, and then in between there’s a whole book without words
so its actually kind of a cool tradition

writing5

MONK #1: would there ever maybe be a reason to put words in a book though
like as an exception or maybe a funny joke

MONK #2: no
not really ever, no
so not ever

MONK #1: oh
okay

MONK #2: you should probably just accept that books are blank
and they’re mostly for resting your hands on when your hands get tired

writing9

MONK #2: see what i mean
look at how well she’s listening
and how she’s taking dictation without writing anything down
i wish some of us could be a little more like the writer in this painting

writing8

MONK #1: okay so what if someone is dipping their pen in some ink
like they’re getting READY to write
but the page is blank

MONK #2: yes
yes definitely
now youre getting it
sometimes a guy just wants to have a wet pen

writing6

MONK #2: one other thing i forgot to mention is its fine to put words AROUND a book
just not in it

MONK #1: oh that makes sense

MONK #2: just a funny little writing tip

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