MONK #2: i think youre ready to move on to something a little trickier this time
reading and writing
MONK #1: oh wow
MONK #2: the really important thing to remember about writing is that you dont use any words
ever
just blank pages in careful order
MONK #1: oh wow i had no idea
MONK #2: i know
thats what i’m here for haha
MONK #2: same goes for reading
MONK #1: right right
MONK #2: so be sure not to put any words inside the edges
just more edges
MONK #2: the other really important thing to remember
is that everyone uses two pens to write, but they still leave the pages blank
“two pens, no words,” thats what we call writing in the biz
the writing biz
MONK #1: are we sure about that though
MONK #2: what do you mean
MONK #1: i mean it sort of looks like a pen and maybe an ink scraper
to scrape ink away
so like if you were actually writing with the pen you would use the ink scraper to —
MONK #2: no
it kind of looks like that but it isn’t
just two pens
MONK #1: okay, okay
MONK #2: write that down so you’ll remember it
MONK #1: oka — wait a second
MONK #2: ahaha
almost had you there
just a little writing prank
to see if you were still paying attention
MONK #2: see
two pens
this one’s a little messed up because there are almost words, but you get the idea
MONK #2: a pen for each hand, and a twisted manimal for resting your feet on
do you think youre starting to get it now
MONK #1: maybe
i think so
sorry about the ink scraper thing before
MONK #2: dont worry about it
we all make mistakes
MONK #2: see he’s got a page with no words, and the other guy is copying out the no-words, and then in between there’s a whole book without words
so its actually kind of a cool tradition
MONK #1: would there ever maybe be a reason to put words in a book though
like as an exception or maybe a funny joke
MONK #2: no
not really ever, no
so not ever
MONK #1: oh
okay
MONK #2: you should probably just accept that books are blank
and they’re mostly for resting your hands on when your hands get tired
MONK #2: see what i mean
look at how well she’s listening
and how she’s taking dictation without writing anything down
i wish some of us could be a little more like the writer in this painting
MONK #1: okay so what if someone is dipping their pen in some ink
like they’re getting READY to write
but the page is blank
MONK #2: yes
yes definitely
now youre getting it
sometimes a guy just wants to have a wet pen
MONK #2: one other thing i forgot to mention is its fine to put words AROUND a book
just not in it
MONK #1: oh that makes sense
MONK #2: just a funny little writing tip
[Images via]
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.