Two Monks Inventing Things

  1. Oh, two monks, I think I'm going to miss you most of all.

    Two Medieval Monks Invent Art

  2. MONK #1: traditionally, what do horses eat
    MONK #2: traditionally? roofs
    roofs, all kinds

  3. This Classic Toast post originally ran on Mar 11, 2014.

    From the year 800 AD to 1450 the entirety of Europe's approach to painting was "It's impossible to know what an animal looks like, just draw a guy's head on it." This is their story.

  4. Previously: two monks invent medieval art. MONK #1: hey how big are most eyes MONK #2: like on the human face? MONK #1: oh yes for sure the eyes people have on their faces MONK #2: oh man at least half the size of the face it's actually crazy how much of your face is just eyes definitely at least half MONK #1: thanks MONK #2: no problem…

  5. MONK #1: what makes a woman beautiful
    MONK #2: nice eyes
    long hair
    red lips
    MONK #1: right definitely
    MONK #2: you know what's really hot though
    MONK #1: what
    MONK #2: women who don't have shoulders
    MONK #1: what

  6. MONK #1: what does Hell look like?
    MONK #2: big upside-down beehive

  7. MONK #1: if I wanted to illustrate the rain of fire that destroyed Sodom
    what should I use for my model
    visually I mean
    MONK #2: can can dancers
    red legs, blue skirts
    MONK #1: oh thanks

  8. MONK #1: why would anyone hold hands
    MONK #2: to protect the tiny witch hiding underneath them writing you a poem

  9. MONK #1: this is honestly a little embarrassing
    you know
    as a monk
    i haven't seen a lot of naked people so i'm not really sure
    MONK #2: do not be embarrassed even a little
    ask away
    MONK #1: okay well i guess its two questions
    one is does...EVERYBODY have faces on their heads?
    MONK #2: great question
    and no

  10. MONK #1: what's inside of a dog MONK #2: hmm? MONK #1: like how would I draw a dog, and what it's made of MONK #2: oh oh gotcha red strings and nothing   MONK #1: okay so I know that knights and horses go together like in wartime MONK #2: right MONK #1: but how is that arranged, exactly like how does it look when they go into battle MONK #2: oh…

  11. MONK #1: the saint Mary Magdalene what was she made of, chiefly? MONK #2: hair more hair than woman, they said of her   MONK #1: saints in general how do they look? how does one draw them, I mean MONK #2: silver-grey skin like a trout and mummy hands that's the sign of one beloved by God…

  12. MONK #2: i think youre ready to move on to something a little trickier this time reading and writing MONK #1: oh wow MONK #2: the really important thing to remember about writing is that you dont use any words ever just blank pages in careful order MONK #1: oh wow i had no idea MONK #2: i know thats what i'm here for haha MONK #2: same goes for reading…

  13. Previously in this series: Two Monks invent dinner parties. MONK #1: do birds have meetings MONK #2: absolutely they have a Meeting Hat and everything MONK #1: what do they have meetings about MONK #2: mostly who gets to wear the meeting hat MONK #1: do human women sleep in beds or-- MONK #2: no that's dogs you're thinking of MONK #1: right right…

  14. Previously in this series: Two monks invent Christian denominations. MONK #1: lets throw a dinner party big feast invite everybody over MONK #2: oh yes for sure lets MONK #1: whats good to eat, what do people like for dinner MONK #2: one single peacock MONK #1: will that be enough do you think MONK #2: well that's what dinner is a single peacock so it better be MONK #1: ok…

  15. Holiness Movement

    MONK #1: all right
    you read the Bible
    MONK #2: right
    MONK #1: whole thing?
    MONK #2: A to done
    MONK #1: okay whatd you get out of it
    MONK #2: we should touch snakes
    MONK #1: really?
    touch em up a bunch
    MONK #1: anything else
    MONK #2: mm
    mostly just the snakes