Cocktail Hour

by The Bartender · August 9, 2013

photoOh, my toasties. Can I call you that? Yeah? Thanks. It’s been a rough week. Bed bugs, canceled flights, antibiotics, weird bosses, sneaky licorice (All licorice is sneaky. – Ed) (Licorice is terrible. Twizzlers forever. – Other Ed).

It’s just that: rough.

So let’s toast to a better tomorrow, in a homey comforting way, with oladushki and tea. Enjoy. And in the comments sing me your tales of happiness and sorrow.

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261 Comments

  1. safvn +4

    It really has been a bad week, hasn’t it? The UNC board of governors just decided to ban gender-neutral housing on all UNC campuses, which many of my friends and many others have worked for for years. So there’s that.

    But I’m going for a run after work, and making my favorite Italian pasta dish and a lemon ricotta cake, so maybe things will be good!

  2. Yet To Register +3

    It was a week of mysterious stomach ailments and stormy weather, as well as a week in which one goddamn fly is rampaging through my house, eluding every effort to squish it. Even the cat is thwarted by the fly. The house is united in our hatred of this one element.

    Which is nice, I guess, when we’re all three on the same side of an issue.

    The non-cat and non-me member of the house started reading IQ84, which intimidates me, and I’m curious to see how the project goes.

  3. icebergmama +1

    Too bloody right it’s been a rough week.
    Am thinking of getting back into making handmade jewelry – pretty simple dangly bead stuff usually, and starting up an Etsy shop to sell it. Anyone with Etsy selling experience have any advice? particularly re pricing & shipping.

    1. icebergmama +4

      also we have an almost full bag of Twizzlers at home because Mr. Iceberg bought them for the kids, who each ate about half a one, and neither of us like them.

    2. Quick Brown Fox +2

      I used to have a pretty successful Etsy shop. I had to shut it down because it got too busy for me to keep up with. When you price, remember to factor in the time you spend. Shipping should be pretty cheap because you can pack in flat envelopes and use Priority Mail in the U.S. You can get shipping supplies pretty cheap at ULine. Also, I think one of the most important things for success on Etsy is to get great photos of your product. Indirect natural light and your camera’s macro mode (for jewelry) are your friend. Good luck!

    3. toastbartender +2

      I have very much Etsy jewelry buying experience and support you fully in this endeavor!!

  4. tigrrmilk +2

    this was my first week since quitting my job. IT’S WEIRD. i think i need somebody to lock me out of my tumblr account for a while or something.

    OR you all tell me your tumblr accounts so i have more people to follow??

        1. erindubitably +3

          I AM FOLLOWING YOU TOO.

          That Doctor Who theme post is quite possibly the best thing I’ve seen all week.

      5. alabee

        kellyzen.tumblr.com! Only follow if you’re okay with one dog post for every three general posts.

      6. Firoola +1

        Hm, I feel silly now cos you all have proper names, but mine is passing-over-freds-left-buttock.tumblr.com, and I’m following everyone now!

    5. Step on It, Velma!

      I’m octopusmetronome.tumblr.com, if you like gifs of animals being funny, I think you’ll like it.

  5. NicoleCliffe +23

    I literally heard someone say “oh, I hate licorice, but BLACK LICORICE IS OKAY.”

    Black licorice is the problem. Laws against black licorice are the solution.

      2. NicoleCliffe +13

        I used to be soft on red licorice, but then I read Stephen King’s THE LIBRARY POLICEMAN, and now I start dry-heaving when I think about it.

        Also, licorice also looked like it’s spelled incorrectly.

        Also, fuck you, fennel.

          1. missellabell +5

            Iceberg, I am perpetually glad that Australia and England (while disagreeing on most things, like cricket) agree on all the really important things, like “bugger off”, and how to spell liquorice.

        2. toastbartender +3

          i replied before reading your comment fully. and am very glad that we’re on the same page re fennel. and fucking fennel seeds, which chefs think they can sneak into anything and no one will notice. I NOTICE. I NOTICE EVERY TIME.

        4. mollyculetheory +2

          RED VINES & ONLY RED VINES NOW & FOREVER.
          ETA actually I really enjoy pastis so idk now ):

          1. Sea_Money +2

            I do like Red Vines. I have been told that Red Vines Vs. Twizzlers is a West Coast East Coast debate.

        5. selenana +1

          Some people still pronounce it as -is instead of -ish, and I believe it was originally pronounced -is.

      1. Janie_S +2

        No wonder I never liked it!

        (j/k that makes no sense considering how much I loved and revered beer and bread.)

    3. toastbartender +2

      black licorice is the enemy. red licorice is crap. and fennel needs to finally go out of style.

    4. msjinxie +6

      I’m a big fan of both licorice AND fennel but I sense this is not a battle I will win so I’ll just sit over here in the corner, quietly eating some Licorice Allsorts and not talking.

      2. franceschances +1

        I like fennel but HATE licorice. I’ll be in a different corner with my fennel studded Italian sausage, thank you very much.

      3. carciofi

        yes, same here. loving black licorice and also salty licorice and also that kind of black licorice that has salmiak in it (don’t know what it is in English). The rest of you can give us all of your black licorice! It’s as good as prozac as far as I’m concerned.

        the taste seems to run in families!

    5. missellabell +4

      My uncle, when he lived in Holland, said about black salt liquorice “It’s so horrible that when you’ve finished you have a second one because you can’t believe that something is genuinely that awful.”.

      (I quite like Liquorice Allsorts. Can I still stick around?)

      1. elsamac +2

        That precisely describes my limited experience with salty liquorice. It couldn’t possibly be as bad as I remember from one whole second ago; let’s try another.

      2. Site_for_Soris +1

        the nice thing about salted licorice is a bag lasts forever! seriously, though, those dutch know their black licorice. yum yum yum

  6. MalloryOrtberg +9

    I have already had two English muffins and later a friend is coming over to watch Oz; my song is a happy one.

  7. anachronistique +3

    uuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhh – my internal monologue this week. PMS is the worst, you guys. Having big dramatic not-quite-fight talks with friends when you are PMSing is EVEN MORE WORST.

    1. karenbowness +3

      i will join you in bemoaning PMS! That on top of my-job-sucks and all I want to do at the end of the day is hang around in PJs and watch Fringe. My extrovert boyfriend is feeling sadly neglected, I think, but I am a bucket of anxiety and emotions, not fit for human interaction.

      good on you for actually having that not-fight-talk, though, because i think right now i would run and hide from one of those.

    1. Yet To Register +1

      Aw, I always wanted to like absinthe but I just can’t get around the licorice taste. I can bear the rinses for those fancy cocktails, but if it’s more than just a rinse, TATERS OUT.

      1. robotosaur +1

        I was going to say that I am only pro-absinthe in sazerac form. Then it’s just a whisper of a licorice smell and I like it that way.

        1. WibblyWobbly +2

          A whisper in a sazerac is literally the only licorice I can stomach. I raise my sazerac to you!

          1. toastbartender +2

            that is still sneaky licorice. the enemy. but i’m all for raising anythings, so cheers!

  9. greyhavens9 +3

    My week hasn’t been bad, really, just busy. But now I’m at work with nothing to do because I turned in everything yesterday and my boss is out until next week. And so I shall sit here and back-read the Toast because I missed everything in the busy-ness of this week.

  10. Abanthis +4

    Liquorice is awful. Liquorice is always left lurking at the bottom of the mixed bag so you think there are more delicious sweets but no it’s just liquorice. I just made hummus and therefore feel productive.

  11. anachronistique +7

    Also, everybody who hates licorice/liquorice/lickerish/whatever can send it to my dad, because he is a weirdo who LOVES it. Will buy entire bags of black jelly beans to eat by the handful. We have given him fancy licorice as a birthday present before and he’s been THRILLED. (He also loves anisette.)

    Dads!

    2. Miya +2

      If you need a for him, the Ikea black licorice is really, really good. I buy, like 10 bags, when I’m there.

    3. elsamac +7

      I also love liquorice (BUT NOT SALTY LIQUORICE, SCANDINAVIA, GET YOUR WEIRD SWEET AWAY FROM ME). When I was a kid, I got all my siblings’ black jelly beans. I also love anisette and its less-sweet cousin, pastis.

      Maybe I am your dad? Are we square on allowance?

      1. anachronistique +6

        Maybe! Would you describe your beard as:
        a) lush
        b) majestic
        c) wilderness-ready
        d) all of the above?

        1. elsamac +5

          not for the first time, I bemoan my lack of beard. Would you accept my husband’s beard? It is D) all of the above. He is known ’round these parts as Beardy, Beardman, and Dr. Beardface (it’s pronounced Bayardfahsay!).

          Follow-up question: if you do accept it, can I leave it on his face? Because otherwise, I am pretty torn… as would be his beard, I guess.

  12. Janie_S +2

    JACKHAMMERS. JACKHAMMERS AND WATERSAWS AND THOSE WEIRD PNEUMATIC AIR COMPRESSOR THINGS RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW FOR 2 DAYS IN A ROOOOOOWW.

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

    So yes, I do agree that this has been a rough week.

    1. SeaVineyard

      Ooof that’s bad.

      Outside my office window all week: several different groups of workers on strike playing kazoos and whistles and horns: HONK HONK HONKHONKHONK. All day, every day. I admire their lung capacities but I am about to lose it.

      (not belittling the strike itself – minimum wage here is scandalously low – just the sounds)

      1. elsamac +2

        When I managed a posh frock shop on a busy street, we reserved our severest tones and side-eyes for mentions of the busker known only as Zither Guy. It was a small and friendly town; we could easily have learned his name, but we chose not to. Not even Town Square Bagpiper awakened such wrath in our hearts.

        1. Janie_S +1

          At this moment I would WELCOME a bagpiper. That stuff could totally drown out all of this horrible construction noise.

    2. elsamac +1

      Argh. For the entire spring and summer, there were carpenters and electricians and, I dunno, bulldozer teams or something working in the apartment upstairs from our normally sleepy, sheltered little home. (This was no simple spackle-and-paint job; once when I went upstairs to chat idly about when our power might be restored, a carpenter & electrician team waved me over and showed me a hole that gaped all the way to the cellar two flights down.)

      I sympathize and send thoughts of quiet evenings and whispering breezes and also earplugs.

    3. YoungLeafedJune +4

      Someone in my apartment complex starts their motorcycle and sits there revving it for like 5 minutes every morning at 5:45, before zooming away as loudly as he possibly can. I really hope he dies.

      1. elsamac +5

        This says more about the state of my own home than about my neighbors: every so often, I hear a HELLISH WHIRRING coming from upstairs and I freeze in momentary panic thinking “What infernal device could make such a racket?”…

        … before realizing, oh, she’s vacuuming. Um. That’s what that unfamiliar sound is.

    2. halleloujah +17

      Woooo! One of my favorite pastimes is yelling at people who call beige/cream/peach “nude” because it is gross and exclusionary and, depending on how much I like the person, racist. I’M SO MUCH FUN AT PARTIES YOU GUYS.

  14. Miya +5

    Not to sound like an insufferable white person–well, ok, to sound like an insufferable white person (and I’m only half white!)–I learned to love black licorice while living in Copenhagen. The herbal notes, the mouth feel, it’s just divine. Maybe it needs to be “authentic” Scandinavian licorice. Ugh. I will stop now.

    Anyway, it’s been a pretty ok week. I read that NYT article about rich women who want to go back to work, and read all the hate reactions to it. I thought it was kind of meh. So hard to find a good trend piece these days.

    1. packedsuitcase

      YES! Dutch licorice is also good to learn on. Mmmmmmm. I used to run to the grocery store just to have an excuse to buy those 20kr packs of long, fat licorice sticks and I would try really, really hard to resist. And then I’d fail and go get more (at a different grocery store, obviously, because I have a little shame, apparently).

      1. selenana +1

        The different grocery store thing is key. The clerk commented on my weekly candy purchase at my regular shop this week so when I ran out I felt like I couldn’t go back to stock up. Sugar shame!

  15. sideponytail +5

    I have been in software implementation hell for the last few weeks (currently covertly typing this on my phone during a meeting about data mapping). The only things getting me through this are:

    1. Football is back! Last night my boyf and I hosted a preseason party and there were a lot of mojitos made with backyard mint & 75 pigs in a blanket (with cheese!) that partygoers devoured within 15 minutes.

    2. The Cleveland Flea is tomorrow and word on the street is that there will be a MAC AND CHEESE BAR, which is all I’ve ever really wanted.

    1. anxious_mofo +2

      I am reeaaaallly looking forward to mac’n’cheese bar. Even though I just ate four slices of Ninja Turtles-level pizza.

  16. lassotabasco +4

    I need to select a book for my upcoming Croation Vacation, toasters! I want to make sure it is the Right One. I need intelligent, witty, maybe a little sad and introspective but not too pretentious and awesome female characters (duh). Lately I’ve really enjoyed I Capture the Castle, the House of the Spirits,and Villette.

    What should I take to the Balkans, you guys?

    1. Janie_S +4

      This might be a little too on-the-nose with going to the Balkans, but The Tiger’s Wife is AH-MAZING.

    2. robotosaur +1

      Hmm, lots of people did not care for it but it sounds like Donna Pratt’s The Little Friend is just what you’re looking for.

      1. sideponytail +1

        The Little Friend is great! (Though it’s Donna Tartt. I’m dying for her new book to come out in October.)

        I would also suggest A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki, which I have been obsessed with since I read it earlier this year. PopCo by Scarlett Thomas is another one that I always rec to people looking for smart vacation reading.

        1. robotosaur +1

          Of course it’s Tartt, why did I type Pratt? No good reason at all. (Thanks for the additional recommendations! Planned ereader binge this weekend.)

    3. rhymeswitheight +1

      Oo boy I love Capture the Castle and House of the Spirits! Try The History of Love by Nicole Krauss, Under the Feet of Jesus by Helena Maria Viramontes*, or The Uncoupling by Meg Wolitzer. Also, these are a couple less “literary”/”serious” books but I love them – The Spell Book of Listen Taylor (unclear as to what age group this was meant for, the narrators range from grade school age to middle aged women to grandmas) by Jaclyn Moriarty or The Brightest Star in the Sky by Marian Keyes.

    4. Lindi

      This summer I’m all over Rainbow Rowell, so Attachments is my first suggestion, but it’s a little light, so maybe Unless, by Carol Shields, or Birds Without Wings by Louis de Bernieres?

    5. mamacitaconpistoles +1

      The Historian? Archivists and historians chasing vampires around SE Europe and Turkey?

      it is good, but not, like, House of Spirits level (badumching) cultural icon good.

    6. lassotabasco +1

      Oh my goodness thank you for all these suggestions! I need to sit down and look them all up on Goodreads and make a decision. Only three weeks until Go Time!

    7. carciofi

      Besides The Tiger’s Wife, another fantastic yugoslav read is Ivo Andric’s novel Bridge on the Drina.

      Some parts are a little dark (for reasons of history), but it is just wonderfully well written. He won a Nobel prize for it (and he’s one of the better authors to have ever won a Nobel, I would say).

  17. coaltarepoxy +1

    Liquorice is disgusting. This week I managed to make a lady shut up with a simple reveal of my scars. “Oh, you don’t have full range of motion and you’re 2 months post-op? Take a look at these babies.” Nerve damage fucking sucks, I do not want to hear about much pain you’re in after a scope. /endrant

  18. corfay +5

    Get rid of this week, it’s disgusting.

    ALL of the computers and the server crashed at my job. There has been office crying. I want to drink like 25 beers but I have to run in the morning for half-marathon training! fitness, non-enthusiastically.

  19. MrsTeacherFace +3

    I discovered this week that burping constantly is a pregnancy symptom. I also took two naps yesterday, and nearly killed and ate my husband when he delayed our dinner, so I’m going to buy ALL THE SNACKS (healthy ones) so I don’t murder my students when school starts back up in two weeks.

    What are some good healthy snacks that you don’t have to refrigerate (so I can keep it in my classroom)? So far all I can think of is nuts and granola bars.

    1. greyhavens9 +1

      Fruit like apples, bananas, peaches, oranges, pears, etc. doesn’t need to be refrigerated!

    2. halleloujah +2

      By far my favorite part of being pregnant was all the unapologetic burping. So many burps, zero excuses.

      1. icebergmama +2

        I think jerky is verboten because nitrates. Otherwise I would have been ALLLL up on that shit.

        1. roxythroatpunch +1

          The other pregnant girl that sits near me and I have both been eating jerky now and then – protein! But oops, maybe?

          1. icebergmama +1

            google says, like basically everything else, it’s fine in moderation 🙂 I ate at least 2 boiled eggs a day, and a lot of, like, Hillshire Farm deli meats, so, whatever you gotta do to git that protein!

    4. mamacitaconpistoles +1

      Things I Keep Stashed In My Office To Take To Class:
      Peanut butter crackers?
      Peanut butter/cookie butter to put on apples.
      Pretzels to dip in peanut butter and nutella (which I am sure is healthy!)
      Nutella
      Juice boxes
      Fruit snacks
      Animal crackers

      The killed and ate my husband line made me laugh like a loon.
      (Dehydrated husband?)

      1. roxythroatpunch +2

        You are right on the money with the peanut butter. PEANUT BUTTER ALL THE TIME.

  20. robotosaur +6

    Only three more weeks at my current job but they are trying to drive me all yellow wallpaper up in here. Not helping: the piles of endless employment forms to fill out for my new job. I don’t care what you do with my various benefits when I die, you can feed them to ducks in the park, there are TOO MANY FORMS.

  21. catnamedvirtute +2

    Yes, it has been an AWFUL week. All the tech at work is broken, I might get laid off from my second job that is the difference between having money for books and wine and shoes and having to budget every damn penny, my mother got mad at ME when I asked her not to snark about my brother’s girlfriend in front of my girlfriend, and my dad is pushing me to go back and finish the masters I left because of a depressive breakdown. I want to drink wine until I can’t feel my face and then pass out in my bed, but I have to go meet my girlfriend’s cousins and be civilized.

      1. catnamedvirtute +5

        I DON’T KNOW. It’s a NEW moon, not an full one (I just distractedly typed “an old one” haha), so that’s not an excused, but SOMETHING is happening and it is BULLSHIT.

        Actually what is happening with us is our tech support keeps making changes to the system without telling us/the students we help beforehand and provides little and poorly communicated assistance. I now know why they got rid of the physical desk–because everyone would just try to SET IT ON FIRE.

    2. anxious_mofo +3

      All the tech at my work is broken too. Server’s crashed twice today alone, copier’s been “fixed” FOUR TIMES this week. About to take it out back Michael Bolton-style.

  22. snackfoodnation +1

    Red Twizzlers = life. Once in grad school, I found a half-full bag in my backpack and it MADE. MY. DAY.

    My week has been OK, just hunting for jobs because my internship is ending soon. A lot of people I know are getting their internships extended/actual jobs so I’m of course taking it as a Sign From The Universe that I never will get a job. Blerg.

  23. Linette +5

    I have been sad all week and can’t figure out why. Constant tears for no reason. Inability to function. I’m not depressed – I mean, not clinically so, I may be adjectively depressed – and everything in life is pretty grand right now.

    I have been slowly ceasing to tackle other people’s drama instead of my own. I’ve been writing a lot more and thinking a lot more and studying the things I care about a lot more. I’ve been having great conversations. I sleep well. My partner’s really loving and attentive and great to be around.

    Everything should be good but I’m sad. I’m sad. I’m sad.

    1. greyhavens9 +6

      It’s okay to be sad for no reason sometimes. Maybe it’s chemical, maybe it’s hormonal, maybe it’s just sadness. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, and I hope it passes soon and/or you can get help if it’s needed. Sending good thoughts and internet-hugs!

    2. robotosaur +1

      Not to be glib, but lack of sunshine? It’s been a very grey week where I am and it’s getting to me pretty badly.

      1. Linette +1

        It’s been great weather here, and I get lots of sun. And I’m not, like, sad all the time? If that makes sense? It just sort of hits me randomly in the middle of an otherwise pleasant day.

        I am sorry you too are having a hard time with this week, though. 🙁 I hope the sun reappears soon.

    4. toastbartender +1

      sunspots! sad week! seriously though, it might be chemical and it might be anxiety and you shouldn’t feel bad about feeling sad!

    5. elsamac +1

      Echoing others: sometimes it’s just a sad time, and you can get through it with the help of your friends (including here). I’m sorry; it sounds really hard and it’s okay to say it is hard, even if there’s no reason you can pinpoint.

      I have been slowly ceasing to tackle other people’s drama instead of my own.

      This is so good and tough and brave, and it takes a while to pay off. I’m impressed with you for doing it!

    6. mamacitaconpistoles +10

      Don’t burden yourself with “I should.”

      You are, and that’s what matters. It’s okay to be sad, sad will happen. Maybe you are picking up celestial sadness that is beaming through the atmosphere, or sadness that bounced off cloud cover and hit you like sorrow-lighting. Maybe there is sad-miasma in your current container of 1/2&1/2 and it will go away when you buy a new carton. Who knows? It can be a mystery of life. You don’t owe yourself an explanation for the feeling to be real.

      More to point, if you don’t ease out or snap out in a week or so, call a pro and let them know. It’s their job to help you, if this doesn’t go away.

    7. gorebooth +3

      “I have been slowly ceasing to tackle other people’s drama instead of my own. I’ve been writing a lot more and thinking a lot more and studying the things I care about a lot more. I’ve been having great conversations. ”

      Those are some pretty big things, there. Enough in my experience anyway to kick up some loose stuff in the psyche and cause some unexpected feelings to surface. Sometimes sadness is a natural part of growth & doing the hard but important and good work.

  24. elsamac +8

    It is my birthday! I had cake and coffee for breakfast! My week is goin’ oooookay.

      1. elsamac +7

        The Fella came home from work at 11:30 last night and immediately started making cake, all sneaky-like. Honey, the apartment is as big as a dollhouse; I know when there’s cake in the offing.

          1. elsamac +4

            He is pretty much The Most Adorable even when he isn’t surreptitiously making cake. That pretty well broke the cute-o-meter.

  25. ehmgeebee +31

    In 1.5 hours I am going to the big boss’s office to ask for a mondo-promotion and an 80% raise. If I get this spot, I will be the youngest person at my work to hold this title. It would be my DREAM JOB. The money ask is a giant reach, but I have been encouraged and I will be happy with significantly less. I am trying to signal that I know my worth and that for the last year I have been a bargain for them.

    I am wearing a confidence-boosting dress and my shoulders are back and I am feeling both prepared and terrified.

    2. paperbgprincess +5

      Ooooh good luck! I am going to ask for a raise in a couple of weeks. Lean the hell in!!

    6. packedsuitcase +1

      Oooh, you’re probably in there now. Sending rockstar thoughts even though you dont’ need them because you’re AWESOME

    9. ehmgeebee +24

      DUDES.

      ASSISTANT PROVOST OF ACADEMIC ENGAGEMENT.

      I have to wait to find out about my $$$ because budgeting before negotiating, but I said my number and they didn’t laugh out loud, so, maybe! And they were pleased and showed me a lot of positive regard and we had a great conversation about university stuff.

      I AM DANCING.

      2. ehmgeebee +4

        And thank you for all of the encouragement! I don’t have anybody in my office to give me high fives so y’all are my work-friends. If we could go out for drinks they would be on me!

  26. jhsaxena +12

    This has been a strange week. On one hand, I got hives on Wednesday. On the other, I’m going wedding dress shopping tomorrow. On a third hand, I’m making an 1894 recipe for “Goethe’s Favorite Cake” tonight.

    1. halleloujah +1

      OO OOO WHERE ARE YOU GOING?? I just got an email that my wedding dress got shipped today!!! However, it is a bridesmaid dress technically that I still need to have fitted because I refused to wear anything even close to white, so, tempered joy.

      1. jhsaxena +1

        Lovely Bridal Shop in NYC! I went with my best friend there to get her dress and everyone was so laid back and awesome and non-pushy, and it seemed like a much more pleasant experience than at most bridal stores.

        Though maybe the hives had to do with thinking about buying a dress because this is NUTS.

        1. WibblyWobbly +2

          Lovely is lovely! (ha ha) I didn’t end up buying my dress there but I wanted to because it was just so pleasant and everything was so pretty! It was by far my fave bridal shopping experience in NYC.

          (I ended up having a dress made and would be happy to recommend the dressmaker/tailor if you’re in the NYC area and looking for someone…)

          1. jhsaxena +1

            I will totally take a recommendation for an NYC tailor! It’s so hard to know if anyone is good from Yelp reviews and stuff.

          2. WibblyWobbly +1

            Yay, weddings! I went to Guillermo Couture in midtown. He made a simple dress (skirt + top) from my imagination, basically. It was exactly what I wanted, and I recommend his work without reservation. It’s not the cheapest, but he’ll give you a quote before you decide to go with him, obvs. (Happy to share more price/dress details if you want! Email me cat kaz cat @ gmail)

  27. Emby +13

    Going to visit eastern Washington a week from tomorrow for POTENTIAL NEW JOB WHICH IS MY DREAM JOB. And, as luck with have it, the gf heard back from two jobs she applied for—except they’re in Los Angeles and San Francisco. So, if she gets offered one of those jobs, I have no idea how we’re going to work everything out. Hopefully it just will.

    Also, I’m coming on up to NYC this weekend for the American Sociological Association annual meeting!

    1. msjinxie +1

      Buh? Big fat permanent markets, spray paint – I get carding for those (I think it’s stupid, but I get it.). Stuff you could huff, do graffiti with, etc., sure. But what nefarious use is there for nail polish remover (or do I not want to know)?

      1. whizzdumb +1

        I’m going with: you can huff it. Let’s be real here, if huffing’s your game, you’re going to be able to huff some stuff. Don’t card for everything that gets us high or we’ll all be carding each other all day.

        1. fleurdelivre87 +1

          I just mostly didn’t know this was a thing that was happening. But the guy told me that you can’t buy it two days in a row either. Crazy.

          Also, it’s apparently an anti-meth manufacture maneuver.

  30. t_fer +1

    What about string cheese (which is so pasteurized a few hours out of the fridge won’t hurt it), sesame snaps, almond butter (or sunflower seed butter if your classroom is nut-free), bananas, tortilla wraps, rice cakes, crackers, etc.? (I am the queen of gf snacking.) Also, a bit of good chocolate, for when you have one of those days.

  31. Standard Tuber +12

    I am hungry all the damn time and pregnancy is making me not want to take long trips in the car.

    Boo fucking hoo.

    I couldn’t have been a pregnant pioneer woman. Maybe I could have, I would have just eaten all the oxen and peed all over the California Trail.

  32. stuffisthings +4

    I finally bought Cosmic Encounter and it’s arriving tomorrow but I realized that all of my boardgame-tolerant friends are out of town (one of them is proposing to his girlfriend in a cabin in the woods, yay!) and it’s not a two-player game.

    Mallory you want to fly across the country and play boardgames with us? We have licorice-flavored hummus.

  33. figwiggin +4

    Question for the toastmasters: how long is the general turnaround for a submission response? Asking for a friend.

    1. robotosaur +1

      about 2 days in my limited experience, and they are VERY nice with their “no thanks”es 🙂

  34. erindubitably +1

    I feel like I’ve completely messed up – I’ve been shortlisted for a job and they asked to contact my references, and I said yes, but only because I didn’t realise you could say no! And now my current job will know I’m looking elsewhere and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh everything is the worst.

    1. icebergmama +1

      I cover that with “yes, but not my current job as I don’t wish them to know I am looking for new employment something something awkwardness” and that usually works. either that or have a friend at work and give THEIR direct # versus a bosses number or general phone #, they can confirm you work there.

      1. erindubitably +2

        Yeah, see, I literally did not know this was an option, especially as I’m up against two other people and I thought a refusal would make me look shady. I’ve never looked for a job while I was still employed before, it’s very confusing!

        1. paperbgprincess +3

          If they haven’t already contacted your boss, maybe it’s not too late! Try telling them “you know, on second thought I would really prefer not to alert my boss yet that I’m applying elsewhere.” And then if necessary give them other contact info for more references. It’s pretty standard I think, so don’t worry about it too much! They should understand, it happens all the time.

          1. erindubitably +2

            As below, it’s already 8pm here, but I will try my chances Monday morning and see. Thanks for the reassurance!

          1. erindubitably +4

            Sadly I’m in the UK so it’s already 8pm… I might try on Monday and see. “SORRY GUISE I AM A BIG IDIOT PLEASE DON’T HOLD IT AGAINST ME WHEN MAKING YOUR FINAL JUDGEMENT :D”

          2. abigailcarlin +3

            Speaking as someone HR adjacent–just make sure you’re the one to tell your boss, before s/he gets a mystery phone call. Without knowing anything about your work situation, bosses at my company seem to understand that people move around, and the best ones are happy to see their people advance.

    2. MilesofMountain +1

      Same thing happened to me. I applied for a government job and they said they’d only check references as a precursor to an offer, but it turns out I was their #2 choice and they wanted to put me on an “eligibility list” in case something comes up in the next year, so they called them all anyway. Luckily, I didn’t put my current supervisor, just my at-work mentor and the guy who was my supervisor until he changes positions a few months ago, so my currently position isn’t at risk, but STILL.

      1. erindubitably +2

        Yeah, I think I managed to convince them to contact my ex-supervisor instead of my soon-to-be supervisor (the messed-up reshuffling that’s one of my reasons for wanting to leave) so hopefully that won’t hurt me if I don’t get the new job. :-/

        WHY IS THIS SO HARD I JUST WANT A NON-CRAPPY JOB

  35. WibblyWobbly +4

    I have a sore throat and I want it to GO AWAY IMMEDIATELY because I am going to see mr. wibblywobbly tonight (long distance, boo!) for a long weekend and do not want sore throat all up in my sexytimes.

  36. rkfire +7

    Guys, I just started reading Wild Seed by Octavia Butler and I haven’t been able to stop.

    Seriously, I am working from home today and instead I am 193 pages into a book.

    1. WibblyWobbly +1

      Let’s talk about Octavia Butler! I just got the Xenogenesis triology and I am halfway through the second book and loving it. I also bought Kindred (same book-shopping spree…) but haven’t read it yet.

      1. rkfire +1

        I just finished it! It’s actually the first of her books that I’ve read and it’s a bit of a mind fucking with the body shifting and everything. AAaaaah neeed to process.

      2. rkfire +1

        BTW, we are totally reading twinsies. I finished reading the entire Patternist series this weekend… I think I need to get the Xenogenesis series next.

  37. eviesky

    Is it wierd that I hate licorice but enjoy absinthe? (best of all when it’s mixed with champagne). At least 85% of my absinthe fixation is related to Hills Like White Elephants.

    1. elsamac +3

      Absinthe & champagne: Death in the Afternoon! But If I drink it, I have to go have a little lie-down, so I should call it Sleep in the Afternoon*.

      *That won’t work; all alcoholic drinks would be known as that chez nous.

  38. mkpatter +2

    I got PAID to see a movie for free this week, it was good times!*

    *by paid I mean sometime in the distant future, presumably. Sigh, freelancing.

    Although I did not have money to buy the pumpkin pancake mix I saw yesterday. 🙁

  39. anninyn +2

    This week goes in the vault.

    Anxiety attacks all of it and – as a result – getting very angry. I’ve been a monster to be around and I am utterly ashamed of myself.

    1. EPWordsnatcher +2

      STRAIGHT in the vault. I am sorry you had a bad week. It’s okay to have bad weeks sometimes, happens to all of us.

      1. anninyn +1

        I just wish that I was better at controlling my feral cat reactions to being anxious and afraid. I really am working on them, but it doesn’t seem fair to the people who love me that every now and again I deal with the fear and anxiety by bristling up and attacking.

  40. hollyegilbert +1

    The fiance/lifepartner has meningitis, but this has given us an excuse to sit around watching episodes of Drunk History on Comedy Central. It’s really great you guys. Watch it. I have a little crush on Derek Waters now.

    So I guess my week is still up for grabs.

  41. bastardsnow +1

    I am moving in two weeks, and I’m in that state where we’ve packed almost everything we can pack and everything else has to wait until we can actually move some things. It is very frustrating for both my wife and myself. Especially since the longer we stay at our current place, the more frustrated we get with management.

    But I get to go to the library tonight!

  42. Lindi +7

    I picked blackberries this morning. I’ve put enough in the freezer for a holiday pie and I have more in the fridge for an immediate gratification pie! It’s a great day.

  43. deliciousrecoil +4

    My husband has been unemployed for nine months now. It’s past being a worry and now it’s kind of an omnipresent panic.

    Give me strength!

    4. Site_for_Soris +1

      I am right there with you, sister. No fun. Maybe it is the same for you: I have moments where it seems like a nonissue, obviously it will all work out. But then other moments where I just want to pull my hair out and cry. Wishing you more of the former! Strength!

      1. deliciousrecoil +2

        That’s *exactly* how I feel. And I have an eleven-month-old, so we’re all worried about having to turn her into the Little Match Girl.

  44. Quinn_A +2

    I got weirdly sad because a woman who is roughly my age and roughly as experienced as I am (in both the federal government in general and in our present positions) is getting promoted and I’m not. And it’s ridiculous – I didn’t apply! I don’t want to move again! I especially don’t want to move to Ottawa, which means I will probably never get promoted and that’s a choice I’m making! – but yeah, weirdly sad. It’s because I hate my job and am ill-suited to it, but for various reasons I feel like I’m going to be stuck in it for the next 29 years, which is AS LONG AS I’VE BEEN ALIVE SO FAR. Seeing someone who is very similar to me change her situation when I feel like I can’t is deeply frustrating, I guess.

  45. MilesofMountain +1

    My week has been fairly not-good. The courier forgot my frozen samples in a corner for two weeks, and I wasn’t on top of nagging the lab about whether or not they got them, so there goes $50,000 worth of work for the project manager who decided I was incompetant before she ever met me and is in charge of the raises for the company. I have become obsessed with redundancies lately, so I can replace some of those samples with the replicates I have stashed in various freezers in case of apocalypse or incompenant couriers, but some of them are irreplacable. It especially sucks because I’ve rocked the rest of this huge, ridiculously complicated project.

    And now I’ve been grumpy, and stressed, and not much fun for days. I so need this weekend.

  46. icebergmama +23

    Bergy Bits arriving home with @Mrs Teacherface’s WONDERFUL bear blankets: BB1: *triumphantly holding blanket aloft* “Mama! I gotta BEAR banket!!!”
    BB2: *triumphantly holding blanket aloft* “Mama! I gotta BEAR banket!!!”
    BB3: *triumphantly holding blanket aloft* “Mama! I gotta BEAR banket!!!”

    2. mamacitaconpistoles +5

      Bear Banket sounds like some kind of elizabethan dance or game or snack or something.

      (also, ded of cute)

    3. EPWordsnatcher +3

      I am assuming they have each staked out their own bear bankets? (Dis my bear banket, there are many like it, but this one is mine, etc?)

      1. icebergmama +5

        Yep! They always do, and they police it RIGOROUSLY, using mysterious methods to identify their own when all three items are identical 😉

        1. EPWordsnatcher +3

          Naturally. Their ways are unknowable.

          Sidebar: do the BBs have their own language/words/means of communication known only to them? (Beyond or perhaps in conjunction with the identical-item-identification rituals.)

          1. icebergmama +4

            They don’t have their own language as such but they do seem to understand each others babbling. The other night, the Diva starting saying “Agidda, agidda!” (“together, together!”) and the others followed her and took up the chant until they were all running around after each other in a circle.

          2. EPWordsnatcher +5

            That is both adorable and vaguely hauntingly terrifying. If they start chanting anything along the lines of “Double, double, toil and trouble,” maybe seek a priest?

  47. alabee +1

    After a goodly sum of rejections, I’m reconsidering my career path. I always thought I wanted a Ph.D. in clinical psychology but hey maybe I’m not cut out for it, and maybe it would have kind of been the worst anyway, right? Sure!

    I’m pretending this is invigorating instead of terrifying. Hey I’m still employed, which is amazing, even if my job is being shitty right now. Maybe this is just a phase. And I’m young. The world is my oyster! [hysterical unhinged laughter]

    1. toastbartender +1

      it’s your oyster! laugh hysterically. it’ll all work out and won’t have licorice in it. seriously. it’ll all work out. CHEERS!

    2. practical cat +2

      There’s no shame in rejection and it’s really not a reflection of your character or even of your abilities. Sometimes these things shake out in stupid ways.

      But, I mean, if you navigated the horror of applying for a PhD, you can definitely handle sorting out your life. You can do it!

  48. sivanshaltiel +4

    It HAS been a rough week. For everyone I know. I don’t want to relive it, but it’s nice to know that I’m in good company. Here’s to a better weekend.

  49. roxythroatpunch +2

    More than anything else in the world, I just want to lie down and go to sleep. I got a terrible night’s sleep last night – pregnancy is All Fatigue And Shitty Sleep and I want to punch it – and then my toddler was a total emotional basket case this morning and drained every reserve I had before 7am.

    And I just got this email from my husband: “I just hit my exhaustion wall and am having trouble keeping my eyes open. I am so glad it’s Friday.” So my household should be a DELIGHT this evening.

    1. icebergmama +1

      it’s late to this but just wanted to say much sympathy and hugs, I feel you SO HARD, girl!

  50. missellabell +18

    I made a friend who was a girl! And we talked about vaginas and The Toast and not living in the same country as your family! It was very nice. Also, I think people at my internship want it to be my JOB. Also, this weekend is the most stressful weekend I have ever had ahead of me, and I am trying not to think about.

    ALSO, MY ROSEMARY POT PLANT GREW A TINY ASTER TREE BECAUSE NATURE IS CRAZY. Seriously, how brilliant is that? An aster seed blew all the way down the main road I live on in grim London, and up several floors, and landed in a well-watered, adored plant pot, and GREW WHILE I WAS AT WORK. Gardening thread?

    1. Site_for_Soris +1

      yay! every day I am picking heaps and heaps of cosmos, zinnias, calendulas. my home is full to bursting of pink yellow gold flowers! Now I just need to wait patiently for my tomatoes to ripen…

  51. whizzdumb +1

    I got turf toe from working on a shitty little boat in shitty little boots. Don’t worry it’s not like stomach cancer or anything, I can still eat 3 cheeseburgers a day with french fries if I wanted.

        1. whizzdumb +1

          Yeah it’s a sprain in your big toe leading into the ball of your foot. Hurts to push-off, bend, walk. I learned a new acronym for treatment: RICE= rest, ice, compress, elevate. Supposed to play baseball tomorrow so looks like rice is on the back burner.

          2. whizzdumb +1

            I was trying to avoid an ingrown pubes camel toe joke since that wouldn’t exactly apply to me, but you’ve made self-censorship too difficult. It’s not funny anyway. Ingrown pubes are no laughing matter.

  52. EPWordsnatcher +6

    Bad week because work and horrible horrible boss behavior and computer issues and work in general BUT the universe took pity on me and when I asked for $5 back at the you-scan at the grocery store it gave me $19. Took it and ran.

  53. practical cat +1

    I am unpacking my new apartment in my new city and oh man I am so exhausted.

    Also having some really stupid family problems and I feel like I’ve just been emotionally dumped on ON TOP OF moving to a new city 300 miles away all by myself. I guess the upside is that it’s made me feel like I have something to prove — that I can actually do this alone — so I actually think that, even though I’m more emotionally raw than I would be otherwise, I’m actually functioning a lot better. I mean, I definitely voluntarily left my apartment today and that can be a little fraught when I’m familiar with a city.

    Also I had to leave my cat with my mom (it was the right thing to do but I still feel guilty omg) and I’m just really glad The Toast moved with me and I didn’t have to leave you guys behind too.

    2. Sea_Money +1

      You made it! YAY! You’ll be glad to know that all of my stuff is in the Mini Van and ready for departure (tomorrow). Although the final packing and loading into the car did take the help (and all of the kindness and patience) of my very lovely man friend. Who I am leaving behind. Who I JUST said goodbye too. And I am sadder than I thought I was going to be. Ugh, moving.

      1. Sea_Money +3

        Sorry, that was all about me and I forgot to say: Stupid family problems are the worst! Especially when you are not geographically near the stupid family problems. Also I think we should start saying “The Toast moves with you!”

        1. practical cat +1

          Dude, it definitely helps to hear from other people going through the same stuff. Moving is hard and sad and not anywhere near as simple as I thought it would be when I first had this idea. Though I just got to cook myself some dinner and that feels better/more normal.

          Have a safe trip! The Toast will be there when you arrive!

  55. t_fer +1

    Ughhhhhh whyyy is my temporary roommate such an immature complainer?

    Oh right, because she’s kind of young and passive-aggressive. FUN TIMES.

  57. Site_for_Soris +1

    Going to add my voice to the shitty week choir. Woke up at the beginning of this week feeling like I had slept on my arm funny. Funny bone, more like. A dull, deep pain radiating from my elbow into my hand and up into my shoulder has been my constant companion. It’s a low level pain, but ever constant and shit, that wears you down. Yesterday it distracted me to tears and I was able to get in to see the doctor who proclaimed it to be cubital tunnel syndrome, compression of my poor ulnar nerve. She didn’t give me too much advice about what to do, though, just said I should talk to an ortho guy, who obviously can’t see me until the 19th (thaaaaank you, hmo). When I tried to negotiate with the woman making my appointment, she said, “welll, did you break something?” FUNNY, I don’t know, because no ortho has looked at my xrays yet! Humpf. This means that I am becoming increasingly grumpy as the pain wears me down and also I cannot bike or knit 🙁 So I am just reading in bed feeling sorry for myself.

  58. Moonshiner +2

    Does anyone have encouraging stories/words for being a working mom? I’m feeling jealous of my husband who is staying home with out baby. I am able to work 4 days a week (and do some paperwork at home) which helps, but I just keep questioning what I am possibly missing out on. FWIW my working is the most financially sound decision, my husband has an art degree, and I have a very stable, well-paying job.

    1. TARDIStime +2

      I have a friend who was the female breadwinner after her baby was born. It was a little hard for her to be away all the time, but they would structure things so that she would, for example, bathe the baby and give him a bottle and put him to bed, and that was their special time together, just mother/son. Dad did the cooking/washing up in that time.

      Now, 6 years later, it’s the reverse and Dad does the bath/bottle/bed routine with baby #2. It’s working for them and the kids are happy with it too.

    2. TARDIStime +1

      Oh, and my mum was a single working mother and was awesome and I turned out OK.
      I like going to vacation care during school holidays, and I looked forward to before and after school care – I learnt lots there and made loads of friends and generally had a great time, so no need to feel guilty if you need to do that down the road.
      It meant a lot to me when we spent quality time together and did things on the weekends and had chats about life, and because she was keeping so many balls in the air at once, I could see the extra effort she was taking with me.
      Just tell your kids you love them every day! That’s another great thing my mum made sure to do and I valued it.

  59. carciofi

    my mother-in-law taught me how to make artichoke-and potato stew, and it is absolutely simple, healthy and delicious! win-win because she is aphasic right now but was nonetheless able to find the words (and gestures) to explain it to me.

    so, a happy afternoon in what has been a damn hard set of weeks?

  60. madgehowlet +3

    I have big, big plans for today: Walking up to CVS to buy Prilosec, hair dye, and those stick-on nail designs in some kind of argyle. Because I have a bunch of coupons.

    And then I’m going to track down the Mystery Smell of Death in my kitchen because it’s disgusting. Which will probably turn into Clean All the Things while listening to podcasts and shooing the kid and the cat from underfoot.

  61. Moonshiner +1

    Does anyone have encouraging stories/words for being a working mom? I’m feeling jealous of my husband who is staying home with out baby. I am able to work 4 days a week (and do some paperwork at home) which helps, but I question what I may be missing out on.
    FWIW: My working is the most financially sound decision for our family (my husband has an art degree and I have a stable good-paying job).

    1. NicoleCliffe +6

      Hi! My mom worked when I was a kid, and my dad stayed home with us (she did stay at home when we were very very little, and was bored to tears, because it’s not her bag), and as an adult I am exceptionally close with both of them, and it has only ever resulted in normalizing different ways of being a woman or a man to me and been a source of goodness in my life, though I definitely enjoyed having a SAHD and would have enjoyed a SAHM too, I’m sure. But I never felt less bonded to her or less important to her or like she wasn’t there for things. It all shakes out in the end.