One of the many benefits of owning your own website is the ability to arbitrarily declare theme days. Today is Commonwealth Day, and there is nothing you can do to stop us.

Have you strong opinions on the Harare Declaration? Do you know how to pronounce “Maldives”? Does it rhyme with endive? How do you say endive? Heartened by The Gambia’s recent decision to withdraw from the Commonwealth and stick it to the Man? Can you explain how Newfoundland became a part of Canada to me, because I am American and a bit slow and it sounds like England just…sold it to them? That can’t be right. It was the 40s! Can it?

How many of the member states of the Commonwealth have you visited? If it’s just England, how long were you trapped in a farmhouse on the moors for and forced to write poetry? Did they let you take any of your poetry with you when they let you go? I have been to Canada at least once. I cannot remember if I have been there more than once. I feel as though I have, but i think it was just the one time (it was Vancouver, the summer they were filming the X-Men, to paraphrase Plath. I had steel-cut oatmeal for the first time and I was very impressed with Canada as a whole, I recall).

Anyhow, we have a very lovely day in store for you, full of Canadian humor and Australian childhoods and complicated Scottish political sagas. Come on in, make yourself a cup of something, sit down, and let’s have a nice long chat.

Full disclosure: I am at the (American) home of (noted Canadian) Nicole Cliffe, and will be here for an entire and glorious two weeks. I’m very happy here. She bought a deep fryer. Perhaps we will make poutine.