There are gay movies like Pariah and Desert Hearts that are painful, transformative works of art; there are gay movies like Imagine Me & You and But I’m A Cheerleader and The Incredibly True Adventures of 2 Girls in Love that are flawed or occasionally cheesy but still delightful; and then there are gay movies like Latter Days and Kissing Jessica Stein and Were The World Mine that are so bad that you have no choice but to embrace them to your bosom like a beloved but erring child. They are all worth watching. They are all worth loving. (Except for Chasing Amy. That is a bridge too far, and someday I will make Kevin Smith loudly and shiveringly sorry for it.)
As we mentioned the other day, Nicole and Mallory are joining with the ladies of Autostraddle to virtually watch bad gay movies together and then talk about them with a degree of intensity equalled only by the intense love depicted by said bad gay movies. We started with Lost and Delirious, which was The Most Fun, and features both a young Jessica Paré (Canadian) and a toddler Emily VanCamp (Canadian) and some Americans, like Piper Perabo, being AMAZING. You’ll read all our thoughts on it soon enough. (FALCONS.)
We have some other bad gay movies in mind, but why not open it up for discussion and suggestion: what should we be watching together? What are your favorite bad gay movies, the ones you rewatch when it’s raining and you’re a little sick and you don’t care about thematic coherence so much as you just want to see some cheesy gay love? (Mallory here. Which leads me to my next question: where is the gay Pride & Prejudice? I don’t just mean a version of Pride & Prejudice where Elizabeth is a lesbian, because some genius woman already wrote that, but where is the universal lesbian love story that college freshman will swoon over in their dorms for generations to come? Someone write that, or else I’ll have to.)
NOTE¹: We say these are bad gay movies with love. Just because they are bad does not mean they didn’t have a huge emotional impact on you, or weren’t meaningful, or weren’t made with great care. They’re just kind of bad, and we watch them and say WHAT! OMG. WHY DID SHE DO THAT TO HER BANGS, WHY IS THIS IN SLOW-MO, WHY WOULD ANY HUMAN PERSON SAY THAT EVER.
NOTE²: Nicole is not queer enough to feel comfortable identifying as such, but she tries way, way too hard to gain the approval of gay women, and she appreciates that they let her watch movies with them while she stares awkwardly at them with an intense and unwieldy admiration, for they are the pinnacle of human evolution and should be in charge of everyone else.
NOTE³: Mallory finds this deeply charming. Straight and bi women are great, and should watch lesbian movies all the time.
Tags: autostraddle, bad gay movies, gay gay gay, gays in film, lesbians, lesbians everywhere, lgbt, lost & delirious, lost and delirious, mallory has a lot of feelings about soft butch piper perabo, movies
“Imagine Me & You.” Piper Perabo, again! Lena Headey, my imaginary girlfriend! Matthew Goode, playing a straight man, but still counts for queer points, because: Brideshead, A Single Man, Watchmen!
It’s…pretty bad, and I love it so much.
it’s not that bad!!! IT’S NOT THAT BAD, I NEED IT TO NOT BE THAT BADDDDDD
It is absolutely not that bad! It is on the Most Acceptable end of the spectrum, right over with Saving Face.
I love that movie so much! I watched it around the time my best friend got married, and she and her husband chose Imagine Me and You as their first dance song, and as I was maid of honor, I heard it A LOT during wedding planning, and giggled every time, thinking of her running away with the florist or caterer or baker during/after her own wedding.
I actually really love that movie. It’s fun! And Lena Headey.
Kyss Mig is however closest to P&P to me – it’s beautiful and swedish and not at all terrible
Kyss Mig is _appallingly boring_ and NOTHING AT ALL HAPPENS IN IT. It is a protracted Ikea advertisement helpfully populated with the Swedish girlfriends you can ALSO aspire to. With gorgeous cinematography.
I think you meant _delightfully boring_ 🙂
Godddddd I loved Lost and Delirious as a teenager when it was literally the only not-porn I could find about lesbians on tv.
My go-to comfort-gay movie is Maurice, because I am the worst gay lady and the guy who plays Maurce captures that confused yellow lab why won’t you love me??? when you’re young and dumb enough to think a jackass like Hugh Grant is dreamy. It’s not a bad movie, it’s just not for everyone! THOUGH IT BE FULL OF DUDES, SPARE IT IN THE REVOLUTION.
Oooh Maurice! As a straight lady, I am 100% behind that movie because a) Rupert Graves b) exactly that yellow lab look. I love the book more because, spoiler alert, the end is a little more fairy-tale happy than the movie. And sometimes you just want to read a happy gay fairy tale.
“Maurice” is a fantastic choice for a great gay movie, and though it’s not bad (it’s good!), I would agree that it might be a candidate because it’s got some rough spots. However, it’s one of the best gay movies of all time for straight Anglophile women because the lead guys, though gorgeous each in their own way (I love you, Rupert Graves, and always have!), are not plucked and buffed like so many actors (thus their characters, too) today. They are just regular men from two different social classes who love having sex with men. I will never understand that one overly enthusiastic kiss that Scudder bestows, complete with visible drool and gaping mouth, though.
Oh yeah, Maurice is a GREAT book and an equally great movie. It’s always a little disconcerting to see Hugh Grant acting in movies before he went all dead behind the eyes.
My mother once rented Maurice to watch as a family when my grandmother (her disapproving MIL) was visiting, because E. M. Forster! Merchant Ivory! period romance! I think the VCR mysteriously broke after I asked if she knew that the romance did not include any women.
Not a movie, but a mini-series? Tipping the Velvet. It’s…bad.
But DELIGHTFUL. (I may be biased because of how much I love the book.)
THE BOOK IS THE GREATEST EVER LET’S ALL MARRY FLO
Polyamorous lesbian socialist commune? I AM SO THERE.
It is so BAD. It’s a bad adaption and isn’t even really a good thing on it’s own. But oddly charming.
The adaptation of fignersmith is pretty damn good, though.
Fingersmith forever!!!
YES. FINGERSMITH!!
How is Cumberbatch in it? small part, I understand. Oops, I mean he PLAYS A SMALL ROLE. I have no clue as to the size of his “part,” more’s the pity.
Let me tell you, when we finally consummated our love, I had no disappointments.
hands off my Cumber’s batch, Nicole! THIS IS YOUR FIRST WARNING
The casting of Nan was a travesty, just SO wrong. But I get all fluttery-stomach feelings about the actress who played Flo, so I’ll give it a tentative pass.
Big Eden is not a bad movie but it is tragically underloved and it is the cutest goshdarn thing ever. (Okay, sometimes it doesn’t make any sense, but I still love it.)
ETA: THE HUNGER!!!!!!! Speaking of movies that don’t make ANY SENSE AT ALL.
Please, please, please watch and dissect DEBS. It is my go-to bad/cheesy gay movie.
OH MY GOD, I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY.
– It has a plaid force-field.
– Nobody dies of a ghastly case of sexpunishmentitis
– It has an excellent soundtrack
– CANADAAAAAAAA
– The stakeout scene
– Tofu Scramble makes an appearance
– BARCELONA ART SCHOOL
It is the canonical go-to College Lesbianism and You Do You movie and it is SO FUCKING GOOD with SUCH TERRIBLE SPECIAL EFFECTS.
bonus points: young Jordana Brewster, also see populating The Fast And The Furious, which is the a much more serious yet acceptably gay-tinged cheeseball action series.
oh my God. Which do you think is worse, D.E.B.S or IBTC?
DEBS is actually… just fun? And a lovely youthful romantic comedy about Becoming Yourself. DEBS: Bad in the cheesy way.
Plus, the stakeout scene, Devon Aoki.
I can’t compare and contrast because every time I think of watching IBTC and filling that gap in my life I have to get past the Kate Moenig/I hated the L word thing and then I fall asleep before the download completes.
I *just* saw DEBS for the first time this weekend!!! I’m completely in love with it. It’s like if the Disney Channel had been open to making one of their original movies feature a lesbian couple.
My mom bought me DEBS without knowing anything about it because she always buys me terrible-looking movies as stocking stuffers. I didn’t even know it WAS a gay movie. We were both delighted by the outcome.
I just came here to say this! I love DEBS so goddamn much, it’s so bad but so delightful and wonderful. Also, Jordanna Brewster needs to call me already.
I just watched Kissing Jessica Stein for the first time a few weeks ago! SO BAD!
I have watched SO MANY terrible gay movies. Mostly gay guy movies, which I guess is kind of strange unless you think of it as a semi-acceptable way into queerness if you’re a baby queer girl who doesn’t really want to showcase that fact? I’m going to use that as my excuse for my high school obsession with gay men, kthx.
The only gay lady movie I’ve seen recently was Itty Bitty Titty Committee, which I hated. I don’t know whether that was because I watched it with a straight dude on a straight dude’s computer and I just felt gross, or what, because I have no memory of the plot except a lot of grunge and anarchy. So there’s that.
Other gay movies (mostly from the 90’s, 00’s, ranging from decent-ish to bad): All Over the Guy (was my favorite, kind of cheesy, references hate-loving In & Out, which, totally fair.), In & Out (Kevin Kline, chock full of stereotypes, oh god, but that dancing scene, I really like it), The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Greene, The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy, LATTER DAYS (obviously), Loggerhead (set in NC, obvs I had to watch it).
Man I’m sure there are more (I have seen too many) but I can’t think of them right now.
I do however unapologetically love Beautiful Thing, and would actually recommend it to people because: inner city London teens, class differences, Mama Cass.
DUDE Beautiful Thing is just the BUSINESS thank you for reminding me. I love that movie. Sub thread: I also love Fucking Amal which in English was called Show Me Love.
Have you seen “Shelter”? the one about the surfer guys? It is really quite good for what it is, which is kind of a movie of the week with gay love and sex.
I just saw “Beautiful Thing” recently. Very good!
We’ve all hijacked the topic from bad gay movies to good gay movies, unfortunately. 🙂
Oh god, did you ever watch BIG GAY MUSICAL? It is embarrassingly bad. Like, incredibly so.
Yes! I have a poor memory for movies so I had to refresh a little but I remember that Adam and Steve scene. Also Shelter, I kind of remember Shelter.
I also once saw My Beautiful Launderette and… I had no idea what happened? I was very confused throughout the entire movie.
My Beautiful Laundrette! The Best Movie Of The Eighties!
There is a lot going on in it but I could probably write a master’s dissertation on MBL just from memory.
I’m glad someone else mentioned The Broken Hearts Club, because that is my favorite bad gay movie. (Except maybe for Jeffrey, which I’ve been afraid to rewatch for years because I’m pretty sure it’s just chocolate-dipped pain. But it has Patrick Stewart! And angst-dancing!)
Mostly I am excited because I will probably use these comments as a viewing list.
I totally suspended all my critical facilities while I consumed the “Girl on Girl” shelf at Cinefile (they have funny ideas about labeling). Was “I, the Worst of All” bad? I remember the production values were terrible but I loved it SO MUCH. I am sure that “Unveiled” was great and I don’t want to hear anyone say otherwise.
My argument for DEBS has been filed above, but if you miss Better Than Chocolate, an agonizingly poorly acted but absolutely bang on the money Canadian coming of age series, you miss Ann-Marie MacDonald hissing the word “Jackass” with perfect vituperation at a customs official and don’t say I didn’t warn you.
But it is terrible and very much of its time and there is definitely a sex in body-paint scene so you can’t miss it. The artist lives in the back of her own art truck. Can’t miss it. Can’t. Ghastly. Awesome.
Oh, that one is so delightfully terrible. I haven’t been able to rewatch it, though, despite *really* liking it the first time I saw it… maybe I should just skip ahead to the body paint scene and call it a day because that was pretty much the best part.
That is one of my all-time “What a shame” movies. Such potential for interesting storylines and relationships! Christina Cox being blisteringly hot in a ’90s way! A fun soundtrack! All brought down by the awful, stereotype-ridden, awkward, cartoony script.
Treading Water. (“You look like a longshoreman.” “Mom! I am a longshoreman!”)
Goldfish Memory.
Ugh, Goldfish Memory, so bad at love of all types. But I have a deep weakness for both ensemble romantic comedies and Scottish independent movies, so. . . what to love more? The catty love bickering of the professor’s two student mistresses? How, when the beautiful blond lesbian falls for the beautiful brunette lesbian, it’s all candles and soft focus and guitar soundtrack?
Yes, I remember watching Goldfish Memory and enjoying it so thoroughly and also knowing that it was just completely awful in a way too.
How weird, none of my comments in this thread showed up. I wonder if I didn’t hit “submit” or something
Huh, so that one did, but none of the others.
This tangentially reminds me of a horrifying, far-too-late realization I had yesterday about Queer as Folk (US version): how, in my countless rewatchings in college when I was obsessed, did I never realize that Brian’s first encounter with Justin was STATUATORY RAPE? It throws their entire relationship into question, and I am deeply ashamed that I didn’t fully realize what it meant until now.
I am also pretty deeply ashamed that I ever loved that cheesy, problematic, lesbian-hating series, but that’s on a slightly different level.
The whole Brian/Justin relationship was problematic on a lot of levels. And YET I still find myself frustrated that it is not available for streaming anywhere.
I saw almost the whole UK QAF series on YouTube. I don’t know if it’s still available, but there was some roundabout way I found it in the first place, so I’m sorry I can’t help you with search terms.
If one is so inclined and able to access it, one can watch the UK QAF for free on Hulu.
So problematic! There is no way to deny that it was definitely statutory rape. And yet there’s I also feel like it’s complicated by the sense that Justin definitely had agency (and Brian was drunk/high) at the moment.
I was going to nominate QAF too, despite its hostility to women who are not supportive mom figures in love with gay men. Watching this show as a bisexual woman, somehow I elbowed my way in there and identified with it anyway, dammit.
YOU TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT CHASING AMY! (I wouldn’t consider it a gay movie exactly, either.) It was my litmus test movie for high school boyfriends– they’d invariably tell me their favorite movie was Scarface, and I’d fall asleep 20 minutes into it. I’d tell them mine was Chasing Amy, and they’d go in expecting Mallrats and get discussions of heteronormativity, double standards, and weird bro love.
I know it’s an imperfect film, and I accept its faults, but I love it so terribly much as a monument to how a guy can really self-sabotage a relationship.
Chasing Amy was a movie I loved 15 years ago, liked 10 years ago, and now I cringe because of when I think about it now.
Oh my God, that movie is the opposite of Mary Poppins, inasmuch as it is ABSOLUTELY THE WORST IN EVERY WAY.
TOTALLY AGREED. I could see how Chasing Amy would be disappointing if viewed as a gay movie because it is so deeply concerned with straight-dude issues BUT in that realm it’s pretty thoughtful and very funny.
I’ve never seen Chasing Amy largely because it is inextricably linked to the creepy guys who would hit on me by recommending that I watch that movie as a newly-out 18-year-old. Then I turned 19 and cut my hair and got a leather jacket and they stopped, but the bad taste lingers.
Were The World Mine will always hold a special place in my heart. Bless that terrible, terrible, super-embarrassing movie.
the music is so good though! or it’s become a literal brainworm that has long consumed whatever actual brain i had.
It is. I downloaded that soundtrack within five minutes of the end. OH, TIMOTHY
Obviously ‘The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love’ which wins the title of most lesbian end credits screen.
Also wins greatest movie. SO FUCKING CUTE. I melt every time.
oh my god i love how bad Kissing Jessica Stein is, though. it’s just wonderfully awful. jennifer westfeldt is possibly the most annoying human alive?
i also need to nominate All Over The Guy, which is proooobably even worse but perhaps less grating than KJS.
If you’re thinking of including TV with the movies I highly recommend Sugar Rush. I’m pretty sure it’s on youtube and it’s great!
If you like stories about uniformly terrible, self-centered people! Which you might!
Aww I wouldn’t go that far! I thought it was pretty good. They’re teenagers, they’re supposed to be flawed and self absorbed. I only saw season 1 though, so maybe it gets bad after that.
I remember really loving Edge of Seventeen, in my summer of watching all the gay movies at Blockbuster. Though the thing I remember the most was the dude’s hair, so…? No idea if it was actually good. Watch it and tell me?
Why does no one ever mention I Can’t Think Straight? WHY IT IS SO NOT GOOD BUT THE LEADS ARE BOTH SO PRETTY. They have chemistry DESPITE the movie.
Also this is how the sister of one of the characters realizes her sister’s gay: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PcgDTN0NZ1s/T_UWT3lRiEI…
Better than Chocolate! Its like a super gay episode of Portlandia <3
Loving Annabelle! It’s SO BAD. It’s kind of a gorgeous movie if you just look at the scenery, but all the acting is SO BAD. No one is even remotely competent. And it’s about a teacher sleeping with a student. And there’s a weird straight girl with a pet porcupine who serves ABSOLUTELY NO PURPOSE. It’s great.
I am LEGIT fond of Loving Annabelle. But I absolutely don’t remember why anymore.
That’s okay. I am legit fond of Kissing Jessica Stein. I find it funny, and I relate to Jessica’s neuroses, and I always find it sort of weird that people get upset about Jessica “going back” to being straight because she was pretty clearly straight the whole time. So, y’know. I do think it fails as a “lesbian movie”, but I don’t really feel like it fails as a movie.
Yeah, I think it’s bad in a more “how the overall culture perceives lesbians” kind of way. Because being taken seriously as a lesbian and not just as someone who’s “trying it out”? Not easy. Thanks, Jennifer Westfeldt. (p.s. you and Jon Hamm are super-cute)
That is definitely a fair assessment.
Oh man I hated this movie so so so much.
STRAIGHT-JACKET! Gay romcom about a closeted 1950s actor (a la Rock Hudson), filmed like a Technicolor Hudson/Day pic. It’s ridiculous and great?
omg. How did I not know this existed until today. I have to see it!
The first time I saw But I’m a Cheerleader, I had downloaded it through Kazaa, thinking it was something completely different. Best mistake of my life. BECAUSE THAT MOVIE IS FLAWLESS. (I think. I haven’t watched it in a year or two.)
I ended up watching it on HBO/Showtime/Stars/Whatever years ago because I was bored, and then re-watched it many many times after that whenever it was on again. Loooove But I’m a Cheerleader.
It is SO GOOD but I can never convince any of my friends to watch it with me!
Wait, how has nobody mentioned Touch of Pink yet?
That was going to be my suggestion. Kyle MacLachlan as the spirit of Cary Grant. Kyle MacLachlan as THE SPIRIT OF CARY GRANT. And riding an elephant ice sculpture no less.
(God I love that movie.)
OH MY GOD I LOVE TOUCH OF PINK SO SO SO SO SO MUCH IT IS THE MOST INEXPLICABLE MOVIE IN THE WORLD! Why on EARTH did the filmmakers decide to introduce that insane incest/molest-y(???) plot twist like 2/3rds of the way in?
Bloomington for all your slightly inappropriate professor-student needs.
Nina’s Heavenly Delights for Indian food and Laura Fraser.
It’s in the Water for meta-watching bad lesbian films.
The Gymnast for flexibility and Cirque du Soleil weirdness.
Bound for the sexiest plumber ever.
bound! I love that movie! (mostly the really hot sex scenes. who cares about the plot? not me!)
YES TO BOUND
Omg Bloomington why.
Bound. My God, how could I forget.
YESSS was coming down to say BOUND.
I…think there’s a plot in that movie. Somewhere. All I can think of Gina Gershon’s amazing abs and a truly hot first kiss/sexy scene.
Could the Wachowskis please quit making large-scale epic awful movies and get back to making lesbian film noirs?
BOUND. Not two days ago I had a conversation about Gina Gershon with a roomful of women of various sexualities, and every single one agreed about how hot she was.
High Art! Problematic as whoa but Ally Sheedy and Radha Mitchell and I diiiiiiie.
(I hate the depiction of bisexuals as people who can’t be faithful-cheating is cheating in a non-open relationship no matter who’s under the sheets with you)
Yes! That movie was very meaningful to me as a young queer teen. I would listen to the soundtrack in the darkroom while developing my moody photographs of autumn leaves or whatever. I re-watched it recently–totally flawed, but not nearly as bad as Laurel Canyon, and Patricia Clarkson’s German actress character remains PERFECTION.
I have a question. I know it’s not a movie, but do gay people hate The L Word? I’m sure there are reasons. I loved it in that I loved Shane (except also she’s awful), which led to a period of “Maybe I should date ladies instead?” which didn’t work out well for me, but still.
I hate it. I tried to get through multiple episodes, and never made it past the halfway mark of any of them.
I know a lot of lesbians who hate-watched it, and a couple who genuinely loved it (WHYYYYY), but God it was awful.
Well, not in a monolith, no 😛
I was excited to watch it initially, expecting a lady-centric Queer as Folk but it has very little of the fun of QAF. I just thought it was tedious. Like, I know that queer ladies are out there having more fun than those queer ladies seem to be having.
Okay, I was trying to figure out if some of the “ugh! I hate that!” was more universal, like when cops watch a movie about cops and hate it because police work is nothing like that, or if it was more of a love it/hate it/meh like most tv shows are for anyone.
Straight ladies love Shane.
Truth.
My sister (gay) first loved it an then loved to hate it. FWIW.
It’s great cause GAY LADIES!
But really the storylines are terrible and manipulative and the characters are infuriatingly inconsistent in their behavior so I also hate it.
Many of the gay women I know loved it but were perfectly aware of its frequent awfulness (I lived in LA while they were filming it and we’d always show up at the Abbey on Sunday nights to watch together.) Most of us moved from “loving with reservations” to “oh my God WHYYYY” somewhere around season four (MAX WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU.)
Because even though it was TERRIBLE (the THEME SONG. JENNY. WHAT HAPPENED TO POOR MAX. WHATEVER THAT FUCKING MESS WAS WITH PAPI) it was also AMAZING (JENNIFER BEALS. PAM GRIER. OSSIE DAVIS. YES EVEN SHANE. ALICE. DANA DANA DANA DANAAAAAAA. TASHA!)
I hated it so much I threw my DVDs away. It just crushed me that the first lesbian-centered tv show showed them all as unhealthy, toxic manipulators completely incapable of basic respect for others.
Relatedly: I was listening to an 8tracks mix of ‘Gay Love Songs from Musicals” yesterday and there’s plenty of good male/male duets, but for f/f we get… The Color Purple (which is actually a good musical), Buffy (which… eh) and friggin’ Bad Girls the Musical. We need more lesbian musicals people, stat!
9 Dead Gay Guys! — it’s spectacularly British, wonderfully over the top, and trying WAY TOO HARD.
Aimee & Jaguar!!!
Also: are we calling Kissing Jessica Stein bad because it’s cheesy and silly, or because Jennifer Westfeldt ends up with a man? Because if it’s the latter, I want to mount a defense of it. If it’s the former, carry on.
And let’s never speak of Chasing Amy again.
“Aimée & Jaguar” ? Bad !? I could understand why someone would dislike it if they give reasons to feel so, but bad in itself ? ….. Überhaupt nicht.
For me the only problem with “A & J” is that it’s very… It’s very German, that’s it. And I can fully understand why non-Germans woud possibly dislike it. But it’s not bad. It was internationally praised (and now THAT is quite uncommon for a lesbian movie, especially back then).
Sorry for my English, I’m not a native speaker 🙂
(And sorry for having released the “A&J”-freak in me)
One that I actually really like, but I’m not sure if it qualifies: My Summer of Love.
Gay Christmas: Make the Yuletide Gay! I think there’s even a sequel.
Old school: The Boys in the Band. From the director of The Exorcist, which seems somehow significant.
Older school: The Children’s Hour. Melodrama!
I think someone mentioned this before on Twitter but “When Night Is Falling” has some very pretty cinematography, good actresses (and the actor in the requisite boyfriend-who-gets-dumped role) and an incoherent script. I enjoyed finding out in the lead actress’s native Quebec there were Barbie-type *dolls* made in her likeness (presumably not because of this move). The ridiculousness of the film is apparent even in the trailer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5mszOh_Qis
Forgot to mention “When Night Is Falling” has the most implausible ending of a “lesbian” movie ever, which I know is a tall, tall order but…just see it.
Savage Nights, written by and starring Cyril Collard. Also the absolutely horrific (and not just because of D’Onforio’s hair) The Velocity of Garry, w/ bonus Thomas Jane and Salma Hayek. So perplexing.
The Velocity of Gary! So terrible. (Vincent effing D’ Onofrio is supposed to be some irresistible heartthrob? Come on now.) I saw it at a film festival and the three stars came. I don’t think any of them were famous yet.
oh man, bad lesbian movies are my wheelhouse! I’ll limit myself to two that I haven’t seen mentioned.
1. Leading Ladies: free on amazon instant. not very well acted and cheesy as hell, but so fun. The first big transformative moment in the movie is when the main character goes out dancing at a swing dance club, meets a (very attractive) girl, dances with her, and they fall in love with each other immediately. The second big transformative moment is when she cuts her hair short, dresses up in a dapper suit, and competes in a ballroom dancing competition as the lead, with her girlfriend as the follower. Message: a major key to self actualization and a happily ever after is just admitting you’re kind of butch, and owning it.
2. Drool: free on netflix instant. Not very good acting, and a surreal, barely coherent story line, but so much fun! It’s a romance between a repressed housewife who kills her abusive husband and this super charismatic makeup sales rep who’s just moved in next door. They go on the run together (with the kids) and fall in love.
also, I’ll just say, I heartily second(third, nth, whatever) the recommendations for Better Than Chocolate. So not a good movie, but still somehow, the best movie.
oh, and I’m going to maybe be controversial and say I really like Kissing Jessica Stein. Partly it’s because I have a soft spot for it, as the first movie I ever saw with any queer content. (As a closeted teenager, I spent a pretty uncomfortable two hours watching it with my mom in the movie theater.) But anyway, I know I’m supposed to hate it because Jessica goes back to dating a boy at the end, somehow sending the message that lesbianism was just a fling, but I don’t. I think the movie is just showing that, at least for some people, sexuality is fluid, and maybe you can be mostly attracted to boys, but once in a while, fall in love with a girl. No big deal.
I suppose you can also hate it because Jessica is kind of neurotic and annoying, but, I don’t know, I still find her charming. I also love her best friend a lot.
Wait! I know we’re supposed to be posting about bad movies, but I have to post about My Beautiful Laundrette. The BEST gay movie, in my opinion! The gay movie to which all gay movies should aspire. I remember watching it as a kid (my mom is rad), probably too young to totally comprehend all of the race/class/sexuality going on, but thinking, “Oh, is this what gay is? This is very nice.”
Daniel Day-Lewis is at the pinnacle of his attractiveness in that film.
Interestingly, that was the same year that he played Cecil in A Room with a View. I didn’t realize it was the same actor until my mom was like, you know this gorgeous punk kid is Cecil, right? Daniel Day-Lewis should play ALL THE PARTS.
It is such a good movie. It’s also the best English mid-Thatcher-era movie with a contemporary theme (as opposed to Merchant-Ivory, for example). Class! Race! Gentrification! Culture! it’s got it all.
It also has DDL licking Omo’s neck in public and giving him that wicked look afterward.
Oh, I remember watching that scene, and in my little pre-adolescent, straight girl brain, thinking, “This is something sexy.”
Hanif Kureishi is such a pro at weaving Thatcher-era class and race and culture angst seamlessly into character-driven stories. Amazing book, amazing movie.
Yes, that and the sudden make-out session against the wall in the shadows outside… went right to the, shall we say, core of my sexuality. oooooff
and CALLING HIM OMO IN PUBLIC, which is not only clearly a Big Gay Clue but also a cheeky British wartime joke/statement that you were up for some fun.
Oh my god, really? I have seen that movie about 30 times and I never knew that! I never caught on! It should have been obvious to me! Thank you for explaining how Omar became Omo. (haw haw)
Omo was a brand of washing powder but if a housewife put the box in the front window, it then stood for “Old Man Out” and implied you were, ahem, “accepting visitors”. (My Brit boyfriend told me this so blame him if it’s wrong.)
Claire of the Moon is so bad, it’s… it’s just really terrible. Watch it just for the awfulness.
Watch Bound, because awesome.
I’ve heard Circumstance is good in a bad-but-so-good kind of way, but I’ve yet to see it.
But Bound is so good. So, so good. (And by good I mean sexy, obvi)
aghhh the toast + autostraddle is the most beautiful pairing of people i idolize ever! I’m so excited about this.
I don’t have much to add to the list, but I will say that when I first came out to my sister as bi / blurted out some awkward stuff about the girl I was dating while standing in the bathroom as my sister showered, her initial response was “oh…. have you ever seen Kissing Jessica Stein?” Then we watched it together and I cringed so deeply in my very soul that I think I am still feeling the aftershocks of it to this day.
WHY HASN’T ANYONE BROUGHT UP VELVET GOLDMINE YET, it has everything and was basically my queer awakening
SCREEEEEEECH I was obsessed with that movie freshman year of college, holy lord. (I am still obsessed with it in the glitter-loving core of my soul.)
Also the soundtrack is 1000% flawless.
I’m wondering if we were friends because no joke we must have had it on every weekend.
As a queer person of the sort that both attraction and identity are fluid, I remember looking at Brian and Curt and thinking YOU, YOU ARE MY PEOPLE, I need hiphugging silver leather trousers.
…because it is not awful? Please please please someone agree with me that it is not awful! I <3 VG…
Seconded! It has that how-so-good/how-so-terrible thing DOWN. It contains multitudes.
If These Walls Could Talk 2
I have fond-ish memories of sleepovers with my high school Gay/Straight Alliance, watching that movie and feeling SUPER AWKWARD when my parents checked on us halfway through a sex scene.
Bar Girls is gloriously bad,
bad, bad and doesn’t get nearly the infamy it deserves. Worse than Pucini For Beginners, which is my second submission. Worse than I Know Who Killed Me, which is my third submission, and isn’t even gay unless you’re reading into the pre-SamRon sexual tension between Lindsay Lohan and her fictional twin. Bonus, though: Frasier-era fashions.
ALL OVER ME. I think this was the first bad gay movie I ever saw. Tara Subkoff! Leisha Hailey! Wilson Cruz! Pre-Juliani NYC! Awesome 90s rock soundtrack! Ah. It is so terrible and wonderful.
“MANGO KISS,” 2004. Two “recent college grads” named Lou and Sassafras move to San Francisco and experiment with non-monogamy and role-playing in the Castro.
I *think* it’s supposed to be about the value of monogamy, and how successful romantic partners trade off dom/sub roles. But really, it’s all about princess parties, Lou’s weirdly CGI-ed sea captain fantasies, and Sassy’s uncomfortably explicit conversations about sex with her artist mom (WHO IS PLAYED BY SALLY KIRKLAND, I REPEAT, SALLY KIRKLAND).
OMG can we do bad gay books next?
Gods and Monsters? So very very melodramatic.
It’s been years since I watched it, but Chutney Popcorn? if I were to write a list of tags for that movie they would read:
lesbians, Indian American experiences, surrogate pregnancy, sisters, motorcycles, families
that one gay part in Things You Can Tell Just By Looking at Her.
that’s the moment 11-year-old me was all: o.O
I’m so excited for this. KJS and CA are obvious choices, but also DEBS has a dear, dear place in my heart.
“Jack and Diane” was a cute gay story but a bad movie. Does that count?
I love Chasing Amy, but my experience as a bi girl were that my lesbian friends didn’t like/approve of my relationships with me. It resonates with me. I hate Ben Affleck though.
The Truth About Jane, a tv movie starring Stockard Channing. I can’t think of anything more convincing to say about it, other than ‘tv movie’ and ‘Stockard Channing’.
I really love The World Unseen and I Can’t Think Straight. They are not great! But I love them.
Ooooh, thinking of it, does Antique Bakery (the Korean adaptation) count? It is sort of terrible and melodramatic with random dance numbers, but I seriously adore it.
Loving Annabelle was the absolute WORST gay movie I’ve ever watched, horrible acting, and everything was extremely cheesy.
I Can’t Think Straight was the best of the bad gay movies, with wonderful chemistry but everything else just being pretty average and the plot was meh.
Lost and Delirious falls somewhere in between, like Piper Perabo screeching crazily as she runs into the wilderness, it was a bit too over the top. It had some really wonderful parts though, especially for he time it was made.
Just as important: the secretive way we watched these as little queer kids. God bless whichever Youtube account it was that uploaded tens of these movies in nine-minute-fifty-nine-second chunks, all labeled “Tipping the Velvet number x of n” or whatever.
I see all your bad movies, and I raise you …
Claire de lune.
WORST LESBIAN FILM EVER.
Just about turned me straight. After repeated watchings.
Cough.
April’s Shower! I didn’t even make it through the first thirty minutes it was so awful.
Can it be that no one has mentioned Personal Best? Mariel Hemingway in the cheesiest, soft-porn-iest, silliest sort-of-coming-out story ever. I saw it when I was 14 and nothing was ever the same.
Oh and Lea Pool, the director of Lost and Delirious, made another movie, “Emporte Moi,” that’s actually amazing and beautiful- about a young girl in 1950s Montreal who’s starting to grapple with her sexuality in general and her attraction to girls in particular. Never got the attention it should’ve, probably because it’s in French.
Go Fish. Just… Go Fish. Tried to watch it a couple years ago, made it about 1/3 of the way through, and had to turn it off. I guess it could be interesting as a period piece, but the acting is SO BAD.
Oh thank god someone mentioned this! I don’t watch a lot of movies but my college social group had a thing for indie gay movies and Go Fish was so damn dull and granola it could make the staunchest of folks question their homosexuality.
We followed it up with another terrible film I don’t recall the title of that concluded with frat boys raping a woman with a ceramic statue of the virgin Mary. I have no idea which movie was more revolting. Why couldn’t we just watch “Jeffrey” like all the other alt kids in 1997?
I got to the almost-end of the comments and was like, HOW HAS NO ONE MENTIONED GO FISH?! Whew. Thanks for saving me at the last comment, Simone.
Just in time for Halloween: The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0815165/.
WHY DID THIS GET POSTED WHILE I WAS AT A-CAMP.
AUTOSTRADDLE/THE TOAST ON ALL THE THINGS EVER PLEASE