Guys, this is ridiculous. Come on, now. Also, when I am given the reins to the nation, there will be one kind of pad and one kind of tampon and they will be handed out by the goverment like your I Voted! stickers. And the tampons will be the o.b. multipack and the pads will be…whatever, I don’t care, and I’m in no mood to hear your nonsense about the DivaCup right now, because I’m mad at it this month and there are people out there who do family cloth (I won’t link because I don’t want to make fun of any individual hippies, but go ahead and google), and their children are going to all grow up to work for Procter & Gamble and SLIPPERY SLOPES.
Mallory didn’t know about family cloth until I told her yesterday, and she’s a little bit broken inside now, so be comforting to her for the rest of the week.
Tags: advertising, business, canada, come on guys, family cloth, magazines, menstruation, pads, too proud
Did you hear that high-pitched screaming? NBD, just me, forever, after googling family cloth.
(ps, you can ride your ob tampons STRAIGHT TO HELL)
Seconded re: ob tampons, no THANK YOU.
I clicked the link re: family cloth when it was being tweeted by Mallory/Jolie/others and although I think I had been vaguely aware of it before, reading about it in such detail was really quite traumatizing.
But what really bothered me was how the author of this particular article explained how she cut up old material, made a tissue box and a cover, designated a garbage can for the dirty cloths, etc. and then kept insisting that it was NO EXTRA WORK. “I just throw it in the laundry with my cloth diapers!”
a third boo for o.b. Those colorful kotex ones are where it’s at.
Those colorful kotex ones (if I’m thinking of the right kind) always get on my nerves because they’re not color-coded by absorbance. I want to be able to find the correct size while digging though the bottom of my purse as easily as possible.
This reminds me of how my Judgmental Hippie (TM)(I’m fine with Regular Hippies) neighbor tried to convince me to cloth diaper. “It’s no extra work!” Like hell it isn’t. Work that may be worth it to you, sure. But there is literally nothing that could be less work than throwing away a disposable diaper.
From the first link google gave me: “A certain impoverished lady I know can frequently be heard repeating the refrain “Toilet paper isn’t a luxury”. I have to bite my tongue every time I hear her say that, because, frankly, toilet paper is a luxury.” (x)
NO IT IS NOT. Anyone have that nopetopus gif?
If you did a cross section of the people who use family cloth, I suspect very few of them are doing this because they genuinely cannot afford toilet paper.
That is exactlyyyy the link that got this all started.
OMG. These people are NUTS if they think sending their shitty cloths through TWO hot cycles in a washing machine (considering how many you’d have to wash) is more environmentally friendly than using tp.
It’s not my fault I have a wide-set vagina and a heavy flow.*
*If I ever get divorced, my internet presence is going to render me Forever Alone.
No, it won’t. I got divorced and (le scandal!) I started dating someone who was originally friends with my ex-husband, and BOY does he know all the crude and horrendous things I said when I was no longer worried about being cute or sexy or even vaguely human because I was married. There is always someone awesome out there who thinks that even though you say things like “I have a wide set vagina and a heavy flow” is somehow charming.
I’m so glad you specified the tampons because my only comment was to be that they better be OB. Carry on, Nicole. here is a Canadian present for you:
Nooooooo not OB. Never OB. No matter how many times I’ve tried them it has never not been a horribly painful experience (same for all applicator free tampons).
I curse the person who said that applicators are for people who are afraid of vaginas (seriously? who even thought of that?). There is a reason we have so many types and styles of tampons!! Everyone is built differently and some of us no matter how far we shove our hands up there still need a plastic stick to give everything a little boost up and around the twists and turns of our lady cave.
Sorry I sound so hysterical, it’s just that OB tampons have made me cry and I have strong feelings about it.
Some of us have STUBBY SHORT FINGERS, OKAY.
I cannot thumbs-up this enough. I feel TERRIBLE about the evironmental impact of my ridiculous periods, really I do, but OB seriously DOES NOT WORK with my anatomy.
I will compromise and use cardboard applicators that AT LEAST will biodegrade. But OB? NOPE.
yes! thank you! almost everyone i know uses ob, to the point where i feel a bit weird and guilty offering up one of my plastic-applicator playtex sports, but those fuckers just do. not. work. with my anatomy…they end up half-sideways and painful 75% of the time.
I am totally with you on the playtex sports! SO. MUCH. EASIER. Any other tampon makes me feel inept, like why do I need two hands, like I’m digging around in there, searching for my keys at the bottom of my purse.
Thank you for the Paul Gross. You are both doing God’s work.
Oh, man, I disagree strongly with the OB demand, but when distracted by the shining beauty of Benny (and Dief!) I really can’t form a coherent argument as to why. Well played.
I was told to show up for the 9a post to provide my thoughts on family cloth. I … have thoughts. Most of which I will not share in favor of simply saying this, kumbayaishly: if family cloth works for you, by all means family cloth is what you should use. HOWEVER (and that’s a big but), if you do use family cloth, or cloth diapers for that matter, you’ll need to be diligent about cleaning your washing machine regularly. I also promised Mallory & Nicole that I would leave for you folks who are using family cloth and/or cloth diapers my very favorite post on how to clean a washing machine. It’s my favorite because there is an insane commenter dustup and I’ve never met a commenter dustup I didn’t love (provided I am not a part of said dustup and can be a mere observer). So here, go forth, enjoy, clean your machines, etc.: http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-clean-a-to…
If you need me I’ll just be off in the corner, hugging my knees and rocking myself gently.
This is amazing. The dustup seems to just spontaneously form. I cannot tell where in the original post they are getting some of this from.
The original comment disappeared somewhere along the way, but it was basically someone being like, “What kind of compulsive freak do you have to be to feel that cleaning your washing machine is a thing you need to do?” Which? Okay. Maybe. But legit, no joke, I’m not just saying this because I’m a Clean Person, cleaning a washing machine actually is a thing that should be done every now and again. It’s just like any other appliance in that way.
There is a lot of hating on bleachie going on down there, too.
(Also some good and clever commenting: By the way, the only time I have found socks inside is when they got caught in the pulley drive. I always figured that they crawled out of the washer when no one was looking and, like a butterfly, spun a cocoon and emerged as a wire coat hanger.)
Jolie, I am going to wash my washing machine for you. AND I cleaned my grease vents above my stove like you said!
Every good argument contains the phrase “you need to recognise that you’re not such a special snowflake”
hi i love you
May this provide you with some comfort: I am going to clean my washing machine this weekend. Aside from the occasional “disgusting cat kicked a turd from the litter box onto the bath mat” incident, poo doesn’t ever go in my machine but I recognize that it is nonetheless important to give it a going-over once in a while. Jolie, you have taught me well.
A+ dustup!
Any tips for front-loaders without a hot water connection, though? I’d love to do a Spring Clean of my washing machine some time in the next few weeks.
Thanks to a catchy slogan from the birth center where we had our baby, my husband now knows that “Always always give you crotch rot” when used post-partum. And even though I like them best of the disposables, I think of that every time I see it now. (The birth center recommended plain Kotex, by the way.) I had to share that with all of you fine people.
Lunapads are also made in Canada…
Postpartum Kotex = the best. I hate Always.
I just Googled what family cloth is and now I need to go sit in the corner with Mallory and Jolie.
HOW IS THAT LESS WORK THAN REGULAR TP?
It’s less work when women’s labour has no value.
I, too, googled. The first article that came up was written by a woman who folds her family cloths ’tissue-style’, so when you take one out of a box with a hole in the top, a new one pops up.
WHAT IS NEXT PEOPLE, ORIGAMI FAMILY CLOTH CRANES?
You broke me too, Nicole, bless you. This coming from someone with an extremely crunchy mother who used cloth diapers for her children.
Speaking of my mother, ob tampons were what she used for years and that’s what I associate them with, and so I think of them fondly though I have never used them myself. Once I found a stash of obs in a fannypack. That may be the most early-90s-earth-mother statement ever typed.
Holy sheeeet. I was a cloth-diapered baby, and I’m all for being green, but I will join y’all in the corner. Baby poop is one thing, grownup poop is an entirely different story.
Are you my sister? Because we were cloth-diapered (BUT we had a diaper service take care of all the nastiness, apparently) and our mother used ob.
Ahhh but did your mother breastfeed you to infinity?
My mother didn’t even use ob, she used a non-applicator brand from the health food store that promises organic, unbleached cotton. My sure my diapers were organic and unbleached too.
Wait, hygiene/disgust issues aside, is constantly running a washer and dryer (water and electricity!) somehow more environmentally friendly and economical than buying, say, recycled toilet paper? Because I’m fairly certain that it’s not.
You’re obviously supposed to be washing them by hand in the natural mountain stream that gently flows right outside your cottage.
*gasp*
That would end up dirtying the water downstream!
(Also, biohazard.)
And then drinking the water and dying of cholera, just like they did in Ye Naturalle Oldene Tymes.
Exactly! Things were so much simpler then! None of these hazardous chemicals!
Plus-one for your spelling choices
<3
This thought came through my mind several times while being haunted by the thought of family cloth.
I think the theory is that the Toil and Earnestness of family cloth are good for the environment.
So, I initially cloth-diapered with the miniCube, but then there was The Godawful Incurable Rash of 2013, and I switched to the 7th Generation disposables (They’re biodegradable! They don’t have icky chemicals! They’re glorified paper towels!), and I am reeeeaaaaaalllllyyyyy hesitant to go back. You guys, how can I be a card-carrying Mother Earth Saver if I use disposables??? I really, really like them.
This was really just a long-winded way of saying reading about family cloth kinda made my skin crawl.
I am Not A Mother so I have no say in this, but I think you will still be a good person if you use disposables. Trust. Plant a tree if you feel guilty about it, maybe?
Oooh, I like the idea of planting a tree! And then one day I can say: “MiniCube, this tree was planted in honor of our victory over the Godawful Incurable Rash of 2013. Let us rejoice in our rash-free future.” And we will each shed a solitary tear in memory of our former hippie-ness.
And you can take all of MiniCube’s prom and other embarrassing photos in front of said tree, and mortify him or her in front of his or her dates by regaling them with stories of the Godawful Incurable Rash of 2013. Yes perfect.
Do other things to make up for it. Disposable diapers are your right as a human being who is worth something and doesn’t deserve to be up to your wrists in someone else’s fecal matter.
(I say this as a woman who cloth diapered triplets for financial reasons)
I cloth diapered too, and liked it, but never bothered for overnights or while traveling.
That’s what I was doing, too, so I was already halfway over that fence to begin with…
You have my official permission, as a Toastess, to go buy some goddamn Pampers with a clear conscience.
My lay midwife, organic eating, breastfeeding step mother used cloth diapers for her four kids and you had better believe even she used disposables while traveling.
I used Pampers for 3 years, but I drive a Prius and got a 98% efficient gas furnace and am considering solar panels and recycle everything I can and and and…at some point let’s cut ourselves a break.
Now. Let’s make that point now. Everyone is doing okay!
I am also Not A Mother but if cloth diapering was causing Baby Cube to be rash-y then you should not continue to subject Baby Cube to cloth diapering. Just tell people “Oh, I hate the disposables but I have to put Baby Cube first,” with a deep sigh. That should do to hush the hippies up.
I like the 7th Gen, too! Also, Earth’s Best hold sooo much pee, and no diaper rash in sight. I briefly toyed with cloth diapers, but the fact that we don’t have a washer/dryer made that a non-starter.
Ugh, you guys, I’m so conflicted about this. I live in an old house that’s still on septic and a spend a lot of time and concern thinking about how much toilet paper we flush (I know, I’m weird, stop staring like that.) I mean let’s face it, you have to devote more brain space to what you flush when EVERYTHING is six feet under your back LAWN- I can’t spin fantasies that Mr. Spider is going to live a long happy life in the city sewers after he’s flushed… This almost sounds like a not terrible idea to me, but it’s also just me and my husband and our shiny new front loader washer which has a “sanitize” setting. But also: POOOOOOP. OUT IN MY BATHROOM. ON RAGS.
Maybe get a bidet, and save money that way? They have little ones you can install or clip into your toilet, like a fancy hose.
I think that might be a better option. You know, I lived in Qatar for a while and those are STANDARD on all toilets (the little hosey thing.) I miss those, dammit.
Can we get some advice here from anyone who knows about this? I’m dreaming of one of those Japanese seats that you can install on your American toilet that have sprayers and whatnot.
A friend of mine put one of those in. He was sooooo excited when it arrived.
He wants everyone to use it when they visit. I did. It freaked me out.
An ex-boyfriend of mine had one of those – he rented, so it was just a seat that somehow attaches to your regular toilet? No idea how that part of it worked BUT I have to say it was pretty fantastic. Took some getting used to, but a heated toilet seat is a fine thing to have at 3am.
Check Amazon. The Luxe non-electrical bidet is awesome and cheap and easy to install.
Oh my god you guys, this is the perfect place for me to talk about what a weird dichotomy the toilets were like in Korea?! I went there with my family for two weeks to visit my mom’s family, and half the toilets were these ultra luxurious, heated-seats with bidets and craziness, half were normal, and .5 percent were porcelain covered holes set in the floor, basically, which …?!? Koreans are aces at crouching and balancing on the balls of their feet for basically hours at a time(more proof that I am a terrible Korean) but that just seems fucking dangerous, man.
I grew up in a kind of rural area and have known a lot of people with shitty septic systems. Many of them toss all toilet paper into a garbage can (lined with a plastic bag) with a lid, and empty it every day or two. A layer of baking soda on the bottom of the can helps control odor, and putting the can and lid out in the sunlight for an hour or two is a shocking good deodorizer.
I thought I knew what horror was, and then I read the comments to one of the family cloth blogs and…and…and…
You guys. When they travel? They put the used cloths in a Ziploc bag, carry them around for days and then bring them home to wash.
*screams*
This really seems like a home-only, no-guests-present solution. The idea of TRAVELING with poop rags breaks my brain a little.
Yeah, at least the one blogger said she kept TP in the bathroom for guests (although they still have to be aware of the presence of the cloths so, poor guests).
I thought I could handle this. I thought “okay, these hippies are doing whatever they want, yes, they’re crazy, but they’re crazy in their own houses.” But WHAT?! Not okay. Not okay. Not okay.
(Also not okay – telling a girl who’s having her period for the 4th time in her life that she has to “pack out” all the waste when camping in the BWCA – but that’s a story for another time)
O.o
I don’t like any pads. At. All. They are all so bulky and uncomfortable and SMELL. The smell almost makes me gag; even just thinking about it right now I am mentally gagging. UGGH.
Tampons are only slightly better, except on that last day when it’s almost dried up so that it’s uncomfortable to even have the slimmest tampon in, but if you don’t have anything there will be random sudden goosh of blood to stain your pants.
For that last day: pantyliners! Gross word, excellent concept. They don’t have the bulkiness of pads, but they keep you from ruining your underwear or having to use tampons. I use them for the last two or three days of every period because I hate both pads and tampons (and a cup is just out of the question).
Oh my God, family cloth. What new horrors! I don’t mean to be gross but, well, this is a disgusting topic anyway– don’t the cloths get stained? The ones I’m seeing on blogs are all cute patterns, so it’s not even like they’re getting bleached.
I live in an apartment and drop off my laundry, so, no thanks. Not going to be that abusive to my laundry guy.
Sun bleach! As in they leave them laying out in the sun until the sun bleaches out the stains. Because yeah I’m sure my neighbors would appreciate me piling my poop wipes out on the deck like nbd just getting in touch with my inner pioneer.
They must all live in places where it is actually sunny/warm enough to dry things all year? Because I have a clothesline, but if I put anything wet on it from, like, November to March, it’s just going to freeze solid and get covered in snow/sleet.
From the blog I read (nightmares forever), it sounds like they dry them in the dryer and then leave them in the sun to bleach out.
I would think that the dryer would set the stains, though…? I’m learning so much today! Sun = poop eraser
As an archaeologist who’s been in 150-year-old latrines, lemme tell you, even pioneers discarded after use, so to speak.
http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/terminal…
I honestly thought of family cloth when I was trying to fall asleep last night and that was another twenty minutes of being awake.
Can you even buy applicator tampons outside North America? I’ve never seen them here. They seem like such a waste of packaging…
I think there was like ONE brand with applicators in Australia? I hated applicators so so much. The way they just shoot it up in there.
#TMI I think non-app ones are easier to control the direction/angle on because you can adjust as you go – I have a “twist” that I have to work with, so.
I am pretty sure my vagina drastically changes shape and dimensions every month
You can, I’ve been using them since I got my period at age 12 (and I didn’t move to North America until I was 18). They are hard to find. Not every country has them so I’ve had to order them online sometimes. It’s really not a waste of packaging, as I mentioned upthread some of us are built in such a way that makes non applicator tampons very painful and difficult to use (I’ve tried them many many times over the years, the last time was at age 22 and it hurt so bad that I just gave up and haven’t attempted them since).
I could probably handle OB if I tried them with tons of lube and carried around a stick with me everywhere to help shove it up there but it’s just easier and results in less tears (and awkward waddling after incorrectly inserting a tampon) if I just buy the one’s with an applicator built in and smooth plastic to help it slide up in there. We’re all special snowflakes!!
Yes, thank you. My fingers do not reach the spot where the tampon needs to go, so you can have my applicators when you pry them out of my COLD DEAD HANDS.
Applicator tampons are available pretty readily in France, though applicator-free seems to be more common.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoACQCJWx10
Just to take us off family cloth for a moment, because it’s still morning where I am and I can’t think about poop anymore, I once saw a DVD copy of “John Carter” at my local Walmart that proudly featured a sticker saying “STARRING CANADA’S TAYLOR KITSCH” with a little red maple leaf.
Like, I know we all love Tim Riggins, but Canada, WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS.
Oh my god, that is adorable! A li’l maple leaf on the package for the Taylor whose face and gender I can’t call to mind at the moment. Pride!
Oh, I am very proud of Taylor Kitsch.
https://www.google.ca/search?q=taylor+kitsch&…
Aw, no, Taylor Kitsch is adorable and Canada should be proud of him! It’s just a shame somebody put some kind of hex on his movie career.
When I first googled family cloth google asked if I meant family clothes, and hey, maybe I did so I clicked it and it brought me to this delightful website: http://www.hannaandersson.com/
Then I went back and found out what family cloths were and the contrast was very jarring.
…also I’m just going to say that Diva Cups are made in Canada too *runs away*
Hey, I went to Berkeley, I bake my own bread and granola, I compost, but I draw the Line way before Family Cloth.
I was puzzled when the first hit for “family cloth” I got claimed that toilet paper is a luxury but that if you think scraping poop off your ass on a piece of fabric that you reuse over and over is gross then you can just get a bidet, because that’s super cheap and not a luxury at all.
At least one of the links that I found when googling said she only uses it for urine and saves the paper for feces, which seems at least less gross.
I mean, on the one hand, it’s not any grosser than cloth diapering, but on the other… NOPE.
Also, calling it “family cloth” just adds this weird dimension of too much bathroom togetherness that is unpleasant.
yesssssss! why is it called “family cloth”? what a bizarre euphemism. the name is almost worse than the concept, i think.
seriously though y’all, diva cups.
😀
I am totally with you on the playtex sports! SO. MUCH. EASIER. Any other tampon makes me feel inept, like why do I need two hands, like I'm digging around in there, searching for my keys at the bottom of my purse.
I never heard of family cloth either. I wish I hadn’t looked it up.