I want to tell you about a movie.
A movie where, whenever a character prays, he does so like a cartoon character: forehead bowed, eyes closed, hands clasped together with unbent fingers in the “I’m praying” position, on his knees.
A movie where the line “Just this once, call me Daddy” inspired me to write 5000 words of Terrence Howard/Taye Diggs slashfic.
A movie where good-looking men wear expensive peacoats all the time, and no character wears just one luxuriously textured scarf when he can wear two.
A sequel to a fourteen-year-old beloved romantic comedy that very nearly beat out Thor: The Mean Black Ship at the box office.
A movie where an evil woman with a witch’s heart and mermaid hair only ever has sex with her bra on.
A movie where, oddly enough, John Michael Higgins gives the weakest performance as Taye Diggs’ weird, mannered agent.
A movie where Morris Chestnut yells at Taye Diggs on Christmas Eve and it’s so intense and affecting that I found myself personally worried about the state of their friendship because I actually, really, profoundly want their friendship to be okay.
A movie where Terrence Howard so charmingly and attractively channels Captain Jack Sparrow that for a minute I entertained the thought of what could have been if he’d been cast instead of Johnny Depp all those years ago.
A movie with only two bad lines of dialogue (“People only have enough attention for 140 characters, not [gestures to novel] 140 characters!” and “Prada?” “Nada”), which is a pretty good ratio.
A movie with enough plot for two and enough heart for six. A movie that is inexplicably rated R, despite having exactly zero nudity in it. Even Shelby apparently does it with her bra on, which is not a habit I would ever have guessed of her.
If you are anything like me (and I have no reason to believe that you are not), you are always, always willing to see a movie with the premise “people who used to be friends but now no longer trust one another are reunited under contrived circumstances in a beautiful country estate.” This is that movie. This is the movie for you if you read design blogs and go window shopping at Christmas time and want to watch enormously good-looking people drink bowls of red wine and wear incredible cashmere sweaters and be Sanaa Lathan at you for two and a half hours. Remember that episode of 30 Rock where Liz talks about how she doesn’t want to join the singles’ flag football team because she’s intimidated by them, “always laughing in their sweaters”? These are the people who are always laughing in their sweaters.
This is the movie for you if you have always wanted to see Taye Diggs talk about Vermont and do a Suave White Guy impression, but did not know how much you wanted to see it until it was happening in front of you.
This is a movie that I saw twice in two days. Both times, I tried very hard to downplay just how much and how hard I cried (the scene with Nia Long holding it together long enough to make it to the bathroom before she starts to lose it was generally the one that tipped me over from quietly sniffing to tears on my neck both times, but it probably started a lot earlier than that) so that the person I was seeing the movie with did not think I was weird. At one point, Terrence Howard asks Taye Diggs’ character a question; Taye Diggs brushes him off and says no. Later in the movie, Terrence Howard asks him the same question; he shakes his head, then nods and almost whispers yes and it is so good I got actual chills in my actual hands. I am crying a little bit right now and it is not even nine in the morning. ACTING.
This movie would probably have been improved if it stuck to only three or four major plot points, but guys, it doesn’t even matter, I love these actors so much, and they are so fucking good at what they do that I would watch another four hours of just dinner parties and impromptu Air Band performances and serious conversations about money in bed.
Even the cliches are good: there’s a character who’s doing the secret-Stepmom-dying and is quietly virtuous about the whole thing, but she still smokes weed and swears and says “it’s not fair” when her resignation and resolve crack in front of her children. Nia Long’s subplot seems like it’s going to be about punishing her for being too good at her career, but it isn’t, and it doesn’t end with her getting engaged. Oh, God, I have to shut up eventually. You have already either seen this movie and have been counting down the days until it was released, or you have only dimly heard of the original and can’t remember what this movie is about. If the former, please stay in the comments all day and talk about how good Sanaa Lathan’s boobs look in this movie with me; if the latter, please legally acquire the original as soon as possible and report back.
Tags: movies, my feelings, sanaa lathan, taye diggs, the best man holiday
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I basically always want to see Taye Diggs do anything. I fully intend to rent the original online some time this week, as I have never seen it and you have convinced me that this needs to be rectified ASAP.
Can we talk about the sweaters? Lance in that taupe, shawl collar loveliness on Christmas Eve? Julian in that fair isle piece when they go to Lance’s football practice? Amazing.
OH MY GOD what about that scene where Lance and Harper are wearing DUELING BLUE SWEATERS and one is more of a robin’s-egg blue and the other is more of a deep ocean and IT KILLED ME TO DEATH
I am a known sweater and coat fiend, so the costume design on this film was right up my alley.
do you think they had someone on set just to rakishly tilt the hats Taye Diggs wore at the most charming angle? Because they were PRECISELY TILTED
I think that’s just what happens when Taye Diggs puts a hat on. It’s a natural phenomenon.
I think he has an assistant who’s job on every tv/film project is just to tilt Taye Diggs’ hats.
Where do I apply?
Do you know who made that taupe sweater lance had on??
I was ready to add it to my Netflix queue as soon as I saw Taye Diggs’ face, but I actually stopped reading and opened a new tab to do it as soon as I got to ” want to watch enormously good-looking people drink bowls of red wine and wear incredible cashmere sweaters.” OF COURSE YES.
This is my first Toast comment and I just want to say I’ve waited all weekend for Mallory’s thoughts on this movie. You did not disappoint! It was so beautiful and there were so many sweaters and feelings. I laughed, I cried, I sang along to New Edition. It was the most rewarding movie experience I’ve had all year.
Neck tears. Priceless.
(Also what is Nia Long’s dress and to whom do I sell my soul to make my boobs look that good?)
I am in the latter category and am now counting down the hours until I can watch the original.
Oh my GOD during the opening credits, I was like, “Ahh this is so cute! Everyone’s doing so well and got a happy ending!” And then the quietly-suffering Stepmom stuff was revealed and I started shrieking into the heavens and sobbing into my popcorn because IT WASN’T FAIR.
Movie Trivia: There was actually no external lighting used during the filming; all scenes were lit by the natural radiance of Taye Diggs’ smile.
A movie where the line “Just this once, call me Daddy” inspired me to write 5000 words of Terrence Howard/Taye Diggs slashfic.
I’m sad because I’m fairly certain you are joking about the existence of this 5000-word fic, which is unfortunate, as this would be highly Relevant To My Interests.
I wonder if you realize who we’re dealing with here. I…think the fic exists.
UGH YOU GUYS I love Terrence Howard so muuuuch
Give us the fic, Mallory.
GIVE. IT.
+1 to this post because now I am listening to Can You Stand the Rain on repeat.
I had a bunch of free time yesterday and contemplated going to see this despite never seeing the first one, mainly because I like eating popcorn for dinner.
But then a bunch of people on Twitter and Facebook were all over this and were so happy about it that I decided to hold off and watch the first one, because I want to feel all the feelings and not be kind of lost the whole time SO that’s basically my plan for today.
ive been trying to google the dress sanaa latham wore to the air band competition, it was a white skirt and black top with a full length sheer skirt. i dont think it was actually materinity, but i have no idea how to track it down
this movie was sold out the entire weekend by me but we managed to snag sunday night tickets early and snuck some cran-brr-ritas in.
How can I see the original?! THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT ISSUE FOR ME
iTunes has it! And you get the DVD on Netflix.
I just rented it on iTunes, which explains why I am sitting here sobbing as two characters first fall for each other over an Audre Lorde quotation (what have you done to me The Toast????)
YESSSSS
i was not emotionally prepared for (1) how amazing it would be just to get the gang back together, (2) omg stepmom plot omg omg omg (3) actually really caring about a football game, (4) actually really loving terrence howard. I HAD A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT. also the scene where shelby is comforting her daughter was the first moment where i started audibly weeping. the first of many.
Mallory you summed up my feelings more eloquently than I ever could. This was the best “race themed” movie ever!
oh my GODDDD that HEADLINE WAS SO BONKERS
Where do I apply?
Because of this post I just rewatched the original last night and I am really feeling the feels today! The slide scene to Candy at the end, yes I was happy crying on my couch.
Because of this post I just rewatched the original last night and I am really feeling the feels today! The slide scene to Candy at the end, yes I was happy crying on my couch.
Was expecting “Town and Country” and escapism, but oh boy! Whole theatre crying. What killed me was mom not being able to do daughter’s hair, expression on her face. Everybody had to go to the ladies room after movie to fix makeup!
I felt certain that the ladies were going to respond to the Air Band Jodeci tribute with a rendition of “Giving Him Something He Can Feel” in red satin, and it was only after the tragedy struck that I gave up hope.
I have not stopped thinking about Sanaa Lathan’s boobs since I left the theater twelve hours ago.
ALSO – Shelby as Mia and Jordan’s sorority sister? In the first movie she was served up to us as Murch’s nightmare girlfriend and nothing more. Revisionist history con?
I meant NEW EDITION not Jodeci. I should be arrested.