Skip to the article, or search this site

Home: The Toast

Previously: The best line readings in When Harry Met Sally.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is the greatest movie about Thanksgiving ever made, and John Candy is one of the greatest things the human race has ever produced. He was a funny man, and he was a good person, and he often wore hats with furry ear flaps on them; today let us remember him.

Neal (in dawning horror): Those aren’t pillows.

Car rental agent (also the red-headed secretary from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off), slowly and deliberately, after Steve Martin has told her to “wipe that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks”: I really don’t care for the way you’re speaking to me.

Del: We can laugh about it now.

Del (with murderous, heart-wrenching sincerity): I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I’m not changing. I like… I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me.

Del: [Pantomimes drinking out of a flask, gestures to couple in adjacent car trying to warn them about oncoming truck]

The way you know the Cab Dispatcher is going to hit Neal in the face even before he says “If I wanted a joke, I’d follow you into the john and watch you take a leak. Now are you gonna help me, or are you gonna stand there like a slab of meat with mittens?”

The way Del sighs “God, I’ve got a big mouth. When am I ever gonna wake up?” alone to himself in the ruined car.


Del (worriedly, after revealing to Neal he has accidentally set his wallet on fire): Are you mad at me?

Del (jocularly): Our speedometer has melted and as a result it’s very hard to say with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.

The shriek of violins right after Steve Martin asks “Well, if we can’t sit up in the cab, where are we gonna sit?”

The way John Candy’s terrible Jamaican accent (“I’m going to Jamaica, mon”) foreshadows his upcoming role in Cool Runnings.

Del: Love. Love…is not a big enough word for the way I feel about her.

The way Steve Martin’s cheek twitches after he hands over the smoking Diner’s Club credit card to the motel owner after the car crash.

The way Steve Martin slowly and silently realizes that Marie has been dead this whole time and John Candy doesn’t have anywhere to be on Thanksgiving as he rides the bus alone.

Del: I, uh…I don’t have a home.

The worst line reading in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles: the way Neal’s wife breathes “Hello, Mr. Griffith” like he’s her long-lost lover at the end. What is that about? It’s creepy as hell.

Add a comment

Skip to the top of the page, search this site, or read the article again