I have no whimsical or intelligent introduction with which to frame this. Sometimes things just happen:
The female chief executive officer of Archie Comics is being sued for gender discrimination by her male employees.
Nancy Silberkleit’s lawyers claim the suit is baseless because the employees, all white men, don’t belong to a protected class.
You have my attention. Do go on:
The five employees — including Archie president Mike Pellerito and editor-in-chief Victor Gorelick — claim that Silberkleit used “gender as a weapon” to degrade them, for example, by refusing to call them by their names and instead referring to all of them as “Penis.” They also accuse her of frequently yelling “Penis! Penis! Penis!” in staff meetings.
According to court records, “[p]laintiffs fail to allege that any such comments were directed at any of the plaintiffs in particular, or they could cause extreme emotional distress even if they had been.”
But the employees contend that “the word ‘penis’ became somewhat of a campaign slogan and her preferred method of referring to employees in lieu of their names.”
“So we go to printer by the sixth, and then –”
“PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!”
“…go to printer by the sixth, which means we should be able to ship by–”
“PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!”
Please feel to picture that scene from 30 Rock where Tracy screams “PANTS! PANTS! PANTS!” but with the CEO of Archie Comics and the word “PENIS!” instead for the rest of the afternoon. That’s what I will be doing.
Tags: archie comics, misandry in real life, penis
I think she should become President of the U.S., maybe the Republic of Earth when that happens.
She’s running for mayor of Rye, N.Y., so…
My boss lives in Rye! I’m going to trick him into voting for her somehow, because shenanigans.
Presumably Archie Comics has a lot of jobs recently vacated by oppressed white men. Where do I submit my resume? My objective is just “PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!”
I am silent-laughing so hard my ribs are beginning to really hurt.
You men see what you make us do? You’re why we can’t have nice things.
ahhh, I enjoy this story.
omg the misandrist utopia is real
who would have guessed it would be at Archie Comics????? what a good cover
wow. so penis. much misandry. how funni.
wow
Man, Archie Comics became a glorious haven for misandry, homosexuality, and narrative experimentation so gradually , I didn’t even notice.
This may be the most beautiful thing I have ever read.
I’m not a CEO or anything, but I feel compelled to start doing this at work now…
The next edition of Misandrist Lullabies (etc.) will just have “Penis” subbed out for all names/nouns.
And must be in all caps too, thusly:
Rockabye PENIS, on the PENIS
When the PENIS blows, the PENIS will rock
When the PENIS breaks, the PENIS will fall
And down will come PENIS, PENIS and all
I mean, I will grant that it’s inappropriate to tell PENIS in the workplace (in most workplaces) but damn this is glorious.
OH MY GOD THIS PART:
According to the employee’s suit, she also invites Hell’s Angels into the office to intimidate employees, and frequently inquires about the location of a handgun and 750 rounds of ammunition she believes her late husband kept in the office.
Now, I don’t throw around the word “hero” very often, but…
Literally shaking with laughter at my desk.
Also, I read SO MANY Archie Comics as a child. My brothers and I would grab them in the supermarket checkout lane and beg our mother to buy them for us, and if she didn’t relent, we’d go home and re-read the issues she’d purchased as a child.
“Thank all of the amazing women fighting for progressive change everyday”
Is the EMILY’s List pop up ad I’m getting when I go to the story.
And the sign-up button: “Join Us!”
Once I stopped laugh/crying, I actually read the articles and now I’m wondering…is she being gaslit, being given the “hysterical female” treatment, or is she legitimately unstable and giving female CEOs a bad rep? Now I have chills.
I honestly cannot tell.
If this is true, frankly, I think it’s pretty bad.
(Is she old? It sounds a bit like dementia, to be honest.)
Don’t try this at home, kids. This special kind of misandry should be practiced by licensed Women CEOs only.
This is so beautiful. It’s full of PENIS.
The AJGLM3000 is even more amazing than previously thought!
Also, can’t wait for jfruh to weigh in.
PLEASE make this a t-shirt NOW
Read this to my husband. He says those men are wusses and need to Man Up.
The leadership over there is actually really bonkers; there was a really intense court battle for control of the company maybe a year ago. There are two co-CEOs who are each children of founders, and they have a really acrimonious relationship, apparently. That was how I first heard about the “penis, penis, penis” thing–she walked into a meeting while the lawsuit was happening and pointed at each male editor, one by one, and said “penis.” For a while I think she was banned from the premises.
This seems more messed up than funny, and I gotta say that I’m not laughing.
Yep, this is absolutely not healthy behavior and I don’t think it’s funny either.
I think it is both funny AND creates a hostile work environment and should be halted with extreme prejudice.
(Is she old? It sounds a bit like dementia, to be honest.)
Soo… this is kind of hilarious, but also… I mean, that does sound like a hostile work environment if what they’re saying is true.
And must be in all caps too, thusly:
Rockabye PENIS, on the PENIS
When the PENIS blows, the PENIS will rock
When the PENIS breaks, the PENIS will fall
And down will come PENIS, PENIS and all