Previously: Why Aren’t We Talking About How Much Tim Curry and Dave Grohl Are The Same?
I am horrified and astonished that Johnny Weir and Tom Hiddleston have been running around existing for the last several decades without a single attempt to force them to pair skate together à la Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg because they are the exact same man. Why aren’t we talking about this every day?
Don’t try to tell me this isn’t a still from the movie Thor, because I won’t believe you. That is clearly English actor Tom Hiddleston in the movie Thor, or possibly Thor II, or possibly The Avengers. Whichever one has Tom Hiddleston in it. Is he in all three of them? He couldn’t possibly be in all three of them. Look at him, skating across the rainbow bridge Bifrost to Asgard.
Here, of course, we see celebrated figure skater Johnny Weir in one of his trademark over-the-top costumes preparing to go on the ice.
Important question for readers: Why are they the same face. Why are they the same face in the same elaborate midnight-black skintight leotards with outré neck-and-shoulder embellishments. Why. Why.
Equally important followup question: Why are they also both Rufus Wainwright? Why are they three, but also one? What is this fey, white-mouthed Trinity?
While we’re asking horrified, panting questions, why is Rufus Wainwright only sometimes Tom Hiddleston and Johnny Weir but the rest of the time Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica? What goddamn business does this Canadian singer-songwriter have looking like goddamn Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica half the time?
WHY IS GAIUS BALTAR FROM BATTLESTAR GALACTICA SOMETIMES RUFUS WAINWRIGHT BUT ALSO SOMETIMES NABOO FROM THE MIGHTY BOOSHI:
I am unsettled and frightened and the only thing that will make this right is A) someone sorting out just how many of these men are real and then banishing the remaining hollow shells to whatever hell-dimension the real Tom Hiddleston summoned them from or B) a movie version of Macbeth that comes out next week where all of them play The Weird Sisters and Lady Macbeth by turns. Thank you for your time.
Tags: i don’t know the name of who plays naboo, johnny weir, people looking the same, rufus wainwright, tom hiddleston, why does everyone look the same
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I think there’s a factory somewhere that specialises in skinny, slightly fey, bloodless white guys.
It’s doing some sterling work, I have to admit.
How do I buy stock in this factory? Seems like a solid investment.
How do I WORK in this factory and pull a Johnny Cash?
It’s Connecticut.
Can I put in an order for several?
I would very much like to live next door to this factory. Possibly set up snare traps outside the freight doors so I can capture all of the “product” for myself. Please send address.
Whoa, whoa. Gaius Baltar, aka James Callis, is clearly Julian Bashir aka Alexander Siddig of DS9 fame. I had thought this was a truth universally acknowledged. I mean, they’re even both doctors!
I actually never made this sexy, sexy connection before, but it is 100% ACCURATE.
Something went wrong with the Jared Leto one.
Also, Jared Leto.
Nope. No no nooooo. Leto just isn’t skinny or pretty enough. Also, he’s got that puppy dog eyes thing that the others don’t have.
But Jared Leto is also Milo Ventimiglia.
Jared Leto = Jeff Buckley = Sufjan Stevens?
all cylons.
This is the obvious answer.
Grrr. Frakking skin jobs.
Well, obviously the answer is for them to do glorious battle to determine who is the one true Fey Prince. Or, alternatively, merge into a single perfect entity who will awe the masses with his imposing forehead and perfectly tousled dark hair. All hail Jotomrufgaina Wehiddwainbalboo!
I’m still waiting for the day we get to see Tom Hiddleston use Loki’s favorite battle tactic: cross dressing. Perhaps that could be the terms of the battle?
Close enough.
I LITERALLY CAN’T TELL WHICH ONE THAT IS
Beautifully enough, it does not matter.
If you watched Say Yes To The Dress you could.
Oh, I am watching this RIGHT NOW.
(it’s Johnny Weir, in case you really wanted to know)
Cross dressing and brooding contests. The terms of battle have been set. May the true Fey Prince emerge victorious.
Johnny Weir’s agent is calling around pitching “Thor On Ice” as we type.
Tom Hiddleston is also Rooney Mara.
oh my god stop WOW.
dear god
(this was on someone’s pinterest board called “ideas” which i find adorable for some reason)
Ideas for breeding a race of pale cheekboned pretty people?
I was gonna say more like a crazy awesome conflagration of the touching and the kissing but my head’s all over the place today.
Holy crap, I would watch the shit out of their Twelfth Night.
(I mean, I would ANYWAY, but now that I know they’re twins, it’ll be even more amazing.)
Please let me know when this film version of Macbeth is available to watch on instant streaming of some kind.
Anybody else think for years that Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck were the same person?
Right until the point mustaches were shaved.
Oh. Um, yes, I did. Until just now, actually.
Regularly, until like age 25 or something. I’m not sure if I can tell them apart.
Oh, hell yes. And I grew up in the 70s and 80s, so I had no real excuse for confusing them.
Nah, Rufus Wainwright looks more like the vampire dude (the original one) in the UK Being Human than HIddleston or Weir. (But those two are probably twins who were separated at birth.)
Naw, dude – Vampire Guy is way too hairy:
Not that that’s a BAD thing necessarily. Also, I just realized that he plays the hot dwarf in the Hobbit movies, which only raises him in my esteem.
If we’re going down this road, I should probably mention that I’m pretty sure Matt Smith and Juliet Stevenson are the same person.
Verified.
EXACTLY, thank you. I keep waiting for him to start singing “The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine (Anymore).”
Whoa, that’s why she looked so familiar when I was watching that Lewis episode.
Except also she looks just like Alan Davies to me?
guys, come on
it’s that one Cylon model that they told us was “destroyed”.
My university library just got Johnny Weir’s papers. Mallory, you should visit once they’re processed.
Of COURSE Johnny Weir has papers.
Seriously.
Holy crap, I would watch the shit out of their Twelfth Night.
(I mean, I would ANYWAY, but now that I know they're twins, it'll be even more amazing.)
Naboo is played by Michael Fielding, who is Noel Fielding (Vince Noir)’s real-life brother
Whaaaaaaaaaaa
Is that really real life? REALLY? Whoa.
I wanna see the three of them play sexy vampire princes
I registered a username just to comment on this. I’ve read this thing three times and laughed harder every time. How are they different people but also the same. How are they related to Gaius Baltar. Why.
How is Naboo sometimes Roman from Party Down? How is he absolutely not Tom Hiddleston?
Also, Desmond from Lost and Gaius Baltar!
ALSO, Giaus Baltar is Julian Bashir. Check it https://www.google.com/search?q=julian+bashir+gai…
I hope we realize this will eventually lead us to Kevin Bacon.
Grrr. Frakking skin jobs.
I just watched Thor The Dark World! I thought the SAME DAMN THING!!! HaHaHaHa! I’m glad I’m NOT the only one!!☺️