Scientists at NASA want to create a super-cold freezing chamber for normal reasons that have nothing to do with the rumored escapees from Arkham Asylum last night.
“Thompson says that he and his team of NASA scientists intend to lower temperatures in the lab to 100-pico-Kelvin, or just “one ten billionth of a degreeabove absolute zero,” the temperature at which it is theorized, that thermal activity of all atoms ceases. The researchers theorize that when objects are exposed to the extreme cold temperatures in the Cold Atom Lab, new forms of matter will be created as the notion of solids, liquids and gases will no longer apply.
“For normal reasons,” Thompson continued, smiling fixedly. “For — for normal reasons. Normal, safe, very normal reasons.” He clenched his right hand into a fist, then trembled violently. “Ice is good and ice is safe.”
***
“Mysterious underwater eelgrass rings” are simply the result of ordinary, everyday poison. Nothing to worry about here, just poisoned circles lurking below the waves.
***
The starfish (thank God) are finally dying off: “Then they closely watch the progress of the disease. First, the stars twist their arms into knots, and sometimes lesions form on their skin. One of them was very sick, and the other two individuals started ripping themselves apart. The arms just crawl away from the particular body…The arms crawl in opposite directions, until they tear away from the body and their insides spill out. And unlike most starfish, the arms don’t regenerate. Stars that came in with symptoms died within 24 hours…But we still don’t know how they’re catching the illness or where it comes from.”
They know. They know, and they’re testing the limits of what they know, and they think our intelligence so mean they mock us by telling us what they are doing as they do it. They know where the illness comes from, and they know where it will go next.
Tags: lies, science, super-cold freezing chamber
So are starfish having their own version of Contagion? That’s what we’re saying?
My face when reading about the starfishes: D:
I just cannot even. I just…”The arms crawl in opposite directions, until they tear away from the body and their insides spill out” jesus poledancing christ.
I bet on Starfish Tales From the Crypt they had like twelve episodes about that disease instead of the twelve episodes about secret hatred leading to unholy violence between conjoined twins they had on Human Tales from the Crypt.
Absolutely horrifying. The good folks at SyFy are, no doubt, making the Disembodied Starfish From The Deep made-for-TV-movie as we speak.
Disemarmed.
The NASA press conference concluded abruptly when the chief scientist suddenly exclaimed “Nora! Noraaaa!” and slid to the ground, clutching at the podium and weeping.
(Is this a safe place to talk about genderswap Batman villains? Because I’m pretty sure all I want in life is Dr. Viviene Friese and Elaine Nygma hatching evil plans and having a conflicted slashy relationship together. Tilda Swinton could be Ms. Freeze and Lena Headey is the whip-smart, ass-kicking Riddler. It’s so beautiful, I can see it in my mind.)
Anne Hathaway as the Jokeress and Matt Damon as her daffy, devoted henchman Harry Quinn.
Yes, but I nominate Robert Downey Jr. as Harry Quinn. Manic, charming, and dapper as fuck. I want him in a tight waistcoat and even tighter pants draping himself affectionately over his lady Joker.
James McAvoy or Tom Hiddleston also came to mind. Maybe the lady Joker could just have a whole slew of Harry and Harvey Quinns.
p.s. the British Bad Guys Super Bowl commercial almost killed me
ohh yeeessss. I love the way you think. James McAvoy! YUSSS
HIDDLES. You know he could work the tights.
YES.
Melissa McCarthy as the Penguin. DO WANT.
ETA: Iceberg suggested Margaret Cho! YES
OK, so this resulted in an incredible gender-swapped Batman discussion on Twitter. I Storyfied it for posterity and I highly recommend you all check it out. http://sfy.co/sOKl
p.s., what is this peanut butter jellyfish hubris?
I didn’t think it was possible for me to be more disgusted by starfish.
*shudders*
In further science news, they might have found the key to the Voynich Manuscript, which is AMAZING
The article was open in another tab, waiting for me. Great minds:)
Minds that love science and The Toast and mysterious manuscripts. YES!
Burr.
Minds that love science and The Toast and mysterious manuscripts. YES!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa-qgRasdvc MR FREEZE JUST WANTS A WOLRD FOR HIM AND HIS GURL
Starfish have achieved self-awareness and are rightly horrified at what they now know they are.
I saw the starfish story on some blog last night and I am STILL about 98% sure its one of Mallory’s horrific short stories and she’s just trolling SCIENCE. #ThingsMalloryDoes4NoReason
Ice-nine. NASA scientists are creating Ice-nine.
“Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die.”
Oh noo, starfish friends. What a way to go :(.
Also, that picture of The Freeze reminded me that Batman and Robin is *the only* Batman movie I’ve seen. WOOPS.
I just found out about this place! It is delightful!