Almost every gay(ish) woman has a Kim Kelly in her past. You met in adolescence; probably in middle or high school, possibly in college but certainly no later. Your lives were deeply and intimately intertwined — although you may or may not have had an overtly romantic relationship, everyone who knew the two of you knew that for good or for ill that you were one another’s top priorities. Your Kim almost certainly smoked cigarettes and you almost certainly did not. You knew everything about her and you hated her boyfriend and you arranged your class schedules together and you drew on one another’s wrists in ballpoint pen and sometimes you couldn’t stand the sight of her. Your Kim was mouthy and wore dirty jackets and you were the only person she’d be gentle for.
My Kim Kelly was named Shannon. She had long dirty blonde hair that she slicked back into a ponytail and wore the exact same outfit every day (men’s cargo pants, a white V-neck T-shirt, and one of those little metal ball choker necklaces that I don’t know what they’re called). She moved to town in eighth grade from Las Vegas. At the end of the year she moved right back. I still have a note from her explaining that I am her “second best friend after Alice,” a distinction I treasured at the time (I never thought to compete with Alice; Alice wore her hair in dreadlocks and played the guitar; I had only recently quit the school band and wore long-sleeved sweaters from the Limited Too), and listing all of her favorite Eminem songs. She was my sun and stars.
I have attempted many times to categorize the ineffable gay appeal of Busy Phillips — particularly Busy Phillips as Kim Kelly on the short-lived Freaks and Geeks – and the closest thing I have been able to come up with is this: “Lesbian jawline.” Exhibit A:
And Exhibit B:
I honestly don’t know what else to say about it. It isn’t that she has a masculine jaw, exactly; there’s just something about it that makes lesbians and bisexuals sit up a little straighter and take notice. Not all lesbians have lesbian jawline, but every woman with lesbian jawline is guaranteed a small but vocal and loyal group of lesbian fans for the rest of her life (see: Cobie Smulders, Kristen Stewart, Katee Sackoff). What I’m trying to say, I think, is that both Lindsay and Kim ping, and ping hard. It’s not just the army jackets and the slouching and the sulking and the bold eyebrows (although those help); their lesbian swagger is more than the sum of their gay-seeming parts. I just want to live in a world where Judd Apatow directed a short-lived teen drama with two long-haired, broad-shouldered girls wearing giant army jackets and little to no makeup and sneakers made out in each other’s bedrooms, is what I’m saying. Just one episode where Lindsey bites Kim’s puka-shell necklace off.
Everything about the development of their relationship fits seamlessly into a Lesbian Aesthetic, too: their first encounters are explosive and riddled with deliciously hurt feelings. Kim is a bitch to everyone around her in a way that speaks to me deeply. She’s the kind of asshole whose horrible words make you want to be around her more, not less; I wish to master this kind of witchcraft, as I have very little hope of ever becoming genuinely kind in this lifetime. There’s an entire episode dedicated to their developing relationship — “Kim Kelly Is My Friend” — that twists up my lungs every time I watch it.
Lindsay goes to Kim’s house for the first time, under the pretext that they might as well try to be friends if they’re going to be in the same group. You’ve almost certainly had this experience, if you were a particular type of Midwestern teenager from a relatively happy, stable home, when you realize that someone who goes to school with you every day lives a life so completely unlike your own that they might as well live on the moon. Kim’s house is missing a few walls. Her brother is erratic and exhausted; her parents yell at each other in front of her. She has a car, and she has Daniel; those are the only things that are hers and hers only, and she’s more than happy to run people over (sometimes literally) to keep them that way.
How many times have you seen a teenage girl who’s poor and angry and loud and confrontational and vulnerable and lovable on TV? Yeah, me too. That’s why I love Kim Kelly. And I love Kim Kelly with Lindsay. When she’s with Daniel she’s angry and wild and sometimes hot for him, but that’s about it; he never brings out the best in her. There are moments with Lindsay when Kim takes on a touch of wry courtesy, when she is almost a gentleman. That’s Kim at her best. And Lindsay’s face opens up when she’s with Kim. (Kim would never pull half the shit Nick tries to pull with Lindsay. Go ahead and try to imagine her smothering Lindsay with affection. Lindsay would learn to value a punch on the arm and the occasional head nod the way miners value diamonds.)
Even the series finale seems as tailor-made for Femslash Friday as a non-Xena series finale can get. Both Lindsay and Kim have left their respective boyfriends (I feel a little guilty; this is the second entry where we’ve taken a woman [“taken a woman”] away from Jason Segel. Sorry, Jason Segel) and take off on a road trip together to follow the Grateful Dead on tour. They run into each other’s arms (the good stuff starts at around 2:30). It’s as close to Thelma & Louise as a series ending ever got.
There is a certain way in which a certain type of young woman can lean against a car or a wall that is transcendently hot. I cannot explain it. Very few women can achieve it without appearing deeply mannered. Busy Phillips pulls it off here. Watching her face light up in a genuine smile when she sees Lindsay get off the bus — watching Kim take off her “school” coat and back into that stupid beautiful damn green army jacket — watching them walk towards each other, Kim’s mouth twisted dryly, Lindsay breathing a bit more quickly than usual and trying to manage her smile — seeing them crawl into the back of a van together and take off for concerts unknown — that’s an ending I can get behind.
Tags: army jackets, busy phillips, femslash friday, freaks and geeks, lesbian jawlines
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kim kelly forever!!
This was amazing. Only one comment:
“You’ve almost certainly had this experience, if you were a particular type of Midwestern teenager from a relatively happy, stable home, when you realize that someone who goes to school with you every day lives a life so completely unlike your own that they might as well live on the moon.”
This is not a phenomenon exclusive to the Midwest.
ETA: aaaand now I’m crying because of that moment between Lindsay and her mom when she gets on the bus. Because now I’m the mom, saying goodbye to my girl every day and missing her already, even though she’s still here with me.
Oh sure, but the show was so Midwestern, and at that time I was living in the Midwest, and that phenomenon is HANDLED in such a Midwestern way and why am I suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to go back, someone stop me.
Oh no, you are totally right about that. And don’t move back to the Midwest.
Also, apologies for hijacking this awesome Kim/Lindsay femslash post with my maudlin mothering bullshit. I’ve just been kind of a mess today/this week/this year/always.
Hey, don’t feel bad about relaying your mother/daughter feelings. I was experiencing the same emotions along parallel lines ( my Mother passed away in March and that bus scene brought a flood of tears).
NOPE, no apologizing. I’m not even a mother and still, watching Lindsay get on – and then off – that bus seizes my heart.
It makes me feel in my gut how foolhardy I was as a teenager, blithely disappearing into lies about my whereabouts, never thinking that if anything happened, they’d have no way to find me. Every time I spun some cover story, I might as well have been stepping into eternity for all my parents knew.
Midwestern girl here chiming in to say there are LOTS of good jawlines around here. Just sayin’.
God, I just recently rewatched all of F&G and every time I just get angrier that there will never be more. I think this would have to be my #1 why-did-they-cancel-it-but-whyyyyy show. And it’s especially heartbreaking because that wonderful cast is all grown up now (well, “grown up” maybe for some of them) and that magic can never be re-created, it was kismet.
So yeah, what’s with Jason Segel and these characters? Does he have some magnetic lesbian pull?
Jason Segel is like this perfect embodiment of a New-Age Sensitive Man who is also a little whiny because of all of his Emotions. A “safe” option for a budding, about-to-come-out sort of baby lesbian.
Source: I am a queer lady partnered with a very Segel-ish dude whose exes all are into ladies exclusively these days. When Jason Segel was dating Michelle Williams in real life I could Barely Handle It.
How many times have you seen a teenage girl who’s poor and angry and loud and confrontational and vulnerable and lovable on TV?
And how many young women do we see on TV who don’t – at least occasionally – temper their fierce postures and faces with docile smiles and deferential gestures? Yeah, NOPE. There’s something ferocious in Kim Kelly, something genuine to the experience of a lot of women and girls, that we rarely see portrayed.
Strongly agree. kim kelly reminds me a little of Tyra on Friday Night Lights.
I can see that, though Tyra would work the façade of deferential femininity when it was useful, and a whole lot harder (and more successfully) than Kim Kelly ever does.
I’m not criticizing either character (or any actual women) by saying that: the attitude and appearance of deference, and specifically a traditionally feminine posture of deference, is a social tool that most women learn (consciously or unconsciously) and it’s an expected part of most young women’s social toolkit. But it sure is refreshing to see a young female character who rejects it.
Tyra and Lyla would be an amazing pairing for this series.
God, not Lyla. She’s just the worst.
Noooo, oh man, what don’t you like about her, can I write you a personal essay of 1000 words on Why Lyla Garrity Had An Amazingly Poignant And Even Relatable Journey or is that the internet version of knocking on your door and asking you to accept Jesus as your personal savior?
Her sanctimonious evangelical phase made me choke with loathing. Caveat: I did not finish the series, and tailed off somewhere in Season 3. Maybe she gets less worst. Context: I think Taylor Kitsch is a terrible actor, and really did not care for Tim Riggins.
Season 2 is the Thing of Which We Must Not Speak.
I’ve been watching FNL on and off for like, a year now, because I can’t. get. past. Season 2. And I know I keep hearing that it’s The Worst and that I need to power through it.
Here’s what you do, you fast-forward through every scene that has Tyra and Landry together (or alone, usually – you might have to check these first to be sure they are about The Plotline Which Must Not Be Named, but most are).
It will make things so much better. The writers also pretend that plotline never happened, so it will in no way impact your later viewing experience.
You could honestly just skip the whole thing.. When season 3 picks up, it’s as if all the horrible storylines have been magically erased and re-set. (Or continue in a way that is easy enough to understand.)
I miiiiiight have a Lyla Garrity impression that I knock out every time she appears on my screen*, and it miiiiiight mostly consist of a mealy-mouthed high-pitched Henrietta Kitten voice with a slight Texas accent.
*Like every time we remember to watch “Almost Human,” during which inevitably one of us says “Oh! Lyla Garrity’s on this show. I forgot.” She does not read as a powerful or memorable presence to me, and that petal-soft voice is part of the reason.
Is it wrong that I was kind of hoping for tami taylor and tyra?
YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
This is all great, but it mostly reminded me of Katee Sackhoff who I love so very, very much.
Starbuck will make an appearance on Femslash Friday, never fear.
I have a universe of thoughts about Starbuck.
So say we all.
I have been waiting my whole life for this moment.
I didn’t think I liked Katee Sackhoff because I had read/watched interviews with her from way back when BSG first started and I thought she was kind of obnoxious? But I listened to her on a recent Nerdist podcast and OMG she is the best! And her best friend is Tricia Helfer! And they go on amazing adventures together!
Love her.
Freaks and Geeks is definitely one of those shows I regret not having watched regularly while it was on. You know what, I think I’ll make it my next Netflix binge once I finish Battlestar Galactica.
2014 will be the Year of Lesbian Jawline Netflix Binges.
petition for netflix to create a Lesbian Jawline category
You mean “Dramatic Comedies With A Strong Female Lead?”
I Netflixed binged Freaks and Geeks last winter while re-grouting my shower, and I highly recommend it. I finished the grouting before I finished the series and then got distracted, but now that I know it ends with Kim and Lindsay taking off to follow the Dead I am definitely finishing the last two episodes.
My Kim Kelly was so awful to me, for me, and I ended up treating her just as poorly in a completely different way that I still feel awful about but I miss her, I miss her, I miss her!
Why isn’t Busy Phillips in more stuff? She’s great.
Hmmm, Kaytee Sackoff. I started watching Battlestar Galactica, but I admit it’s SO DAMNED INTENSE that my anxiety levels sometimes just skyrocket. I also tried watching a recent movie she produced with Seth Green and Michelle Trachtenburg and couldn’t get through it, but ohhhh yes Kaytee leaning in almost dangerously, definitely seductively, to Michelle in the pool.
AHEM. I saw F&G on Netflix this year after having never before seen it, and I love this article, I believe in this article, and I now understand the allure of the Lesbian Jawline, which by the way can get thoughts going even for mostly-straight women.
…I think I was/am the Kim to my HS best friend’s Lindsay.
Of course, this is also the friend I have old folks home plans with, still text with at 3 AM about everything and nothing, and who flew across the country to be with me on my 30th… We went our separate ways after school with constant contact, rather than going on together, but I do really and truly hope that our old age plans do happen, and we’ll take our road trip then, into the sunset.
I’m just going to lay down quietly in the corner, so glorious was this article. I miss my Kim Kellys, even if they scared the hell out of me.
How is it that each of these is so personally touching in such a way that it actually makes clear, brings into focus, a new element every time? This one specifically, though.
Truth.
These last two weeks have been awfully hard on Jason Segel’s fictional love life.
You know what, though? I feel like Jason Segel would approve of both of these articles. (Or maybe he’s an active Toast reader and ALREADY DOES.)
I’ve offered before and will do so again to marry him despite my being gayer than gay, just so we can merge our last names and be the Se3Gels. His lips are unnerving to me, but I can adapt.
I decided I wanted to marry him years ago when I read this interview he gave about how he’d bought a house right above the Chateau Marmont, and how the valet system there reaaaaaally needed extra space for parking. So they asked him if he would be willing to let them sometimes use his driveway, and he thought it over and finally told them that he would in exchange for CM to deliver free round-the-clock room service directly to his house.
Directly to his house.
They agreed, and just reading that made me realize he was a man who could provide the really important things in life for me.
I like him, but he has the weirdest frowny-smiley expression, where the corners of his mouth turn ALL THE WAY down even though he’s supposed to be happy and it really wigs me out.
Precisely the phenomenon that gives me the weirds, as opposed to seeing him naked, which is surprisingly inoffensive. (That sounds mean, but I’m a big queer nevernude, so, you know.). And as I hope to have room service once before I die, hitching my wagon to his star puts me one step closer. I love it when a plan comes together…
bless this show. I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD, except that i had lindsay’s jacket in high school and i’m pretty sure doesn’t fit anymore. 🙁
Also Goddddd, now I can’t stop thinking about that episode where Lindsay decides to go back to being Good Lindsay and is totally ignoring Kim and starts wearing twinsets and rejoins the mathletes and KIM SNEAKS INTO THE MATHLETES COMPETITION TO WATCH HER ANYWAY and cheers for her so loudly and is so genuinely bursting with pride for her. Ugh my dumb heart.
I think I referred to my Kim as “my Rayanne,” though there’s a subtle difference I can’t put my finger on. (Her name was Shannon, and she was my sophomore fall homecoming date. I wore a vintage prom dress and Courtney Love makeup, b/c 1995.) (Conversely, I was my friend Jessica’s Rayanne, cause I smoked and technically had sex.)
Also, I’m pretty sure I have Lesbian Jawline, but I don’t know who to ask. I might just look like a teenage boy when my hair’s short, though.
And now I am feeling a bit Put Out that we can’t post pics in the comments here. Because I would be more than happy to serve as a completely impartial judge on your Lesbian Jawline.
OMG, Rayanne, Rayanne, Rayanne!
Can there PLEASE be an Angela/Rayanne Femslash Friday? Even as a confused preteen, I just KNEW Rayanne was in love with Angela. She was practically obsessed with her and I’m convinced sleeping with Jordan was just a drunken attempt to get as close to her as she could. So sad!
I don’t think the actress who played Rayanne had Lesbian Jawline, but she was still so instrumental to my gay coming of age!
I really don’t know how I missed this show when it first aired. As in – never heard of it until a couple of years ago. My LOCAL LIBRARY has all of the DVDs. I might have to stock up for the long weekend.
I don’t think any era compares to the 1990s in terms of different KINDS of women on the small and large screens. Xena, Scully, Claire Danes’ Angela, some of the “Star Trek” reboots, Holly Hunter in gothic romances, Parker Posey movies… sigh.
WATCH IT. I’m so excited for you to see this for the first time!
Captain JANEWAYYYYY CAPTAIN JANEWAY. O Captain my captain! Like, how nerdy are you Mallory b/c I feel like there’s some femslash fruit for the picking right there.
Ultra-feminine, long-dark-haired, college-freshman me treated my Kim Kelly SO BAD that twenty-five years later it still makes me cringe. I’m so sorry, my Kim Kelly. I don’t know how to find you to apologize, or even what I’d say if I did.
“Don’t be mean. Just be a bitch.” Kim Kelly’s advice which I often abide by.
My Kim was Megan, and we drove around in her pickup truck smoking cigarettes and drinking those fake “English Toffee” cappucinos you can get out of 7-11 machines and rented Gia like nine times and never, ever, ever made out even though I wanted to with all my heart and soul and body. I was also in love with my friend Joan, but she was really blonde and femme-y and made me Catatonia mixtapes and did not ping even a little bit. Megan, I should have gone for it.
Busy Phillips is one of those actors who has the remarkable capacity to be natural and presentational at the same time. She literally *presents* her body, for example, in every scene that she’s in and asks the audience to deal with her outsized, intimidating physicality.
Also: I love Cougar Town.
If your Kim Kelly pinged because she was High Femme, is she still your Kim Kelly, or is she something else?
TBF you said “lesbian jawline” in the title and I knew exactly what you were talking about
Oh! (flash of insight) This is exactly what my wise 9-year-old cousin meant when she told me “do you know your face is kind of like a boy’s? but nice though”
Yes. Yes. This one is good.
Also I have a request for future Femslash Fridays, if anyone watches the British show Fresh Meat: Vod and Oregon. VOD AND OREGON.
I have friends who worship this show, but this piece is the first thing that made me actually want to watch it. My Kim was named Valerie (and I knew her when I was 11). She was a year younger than me, but had already gotten her period and had big breasts and a big butt while I had a body like a pipecleaner. She smoked and when we walked to the beach (I grew up near the ocean) insisted we not wear anything over our bathing suits. Her suit had cut out hearts in it that showed the bare flesh underneath, one above her right nipple, the other in the middle of her left ass cheek. It was less scandalizing in the 70s than it would be now but still…
Just now realizing that I have been the Kim Kelly to many friends over the years…
Oh no! Don’t shame my long-sleeved Limited Too sweaters; I don’t think I could survive it. Limited Too was my entire 4th-9th grade identity.
Just please tell me that you also wore yours with stirrup pants, slouch socks, and ankle boots, and all will be mended.
Precisely the phenomenon that gives me the weirds, as opposed to seeing him naked, which is surprisingly inoffensive. (That sounds mean, but I'm a big queer nevernude, so, you know.). And as I hope to have room service once before I die, hitching my wagon to his star puts me one step closer. I love it when a plan comes together…
I’m convinced that the never to be made season 2 would have proven AAAAALL of Mallory’s points. Lindsay and Nick weren’t right for each other. She was so ambivalent about him you could practically taste it; I think she was more excited that a “cool” guy wanted to date her than anything else. It was a validation thing. As for Kim and Daniel…they were more like brother and sister than anything else. I understand why they were together: it was implied they had more or less identical home lives, and they had probably known each other forever. Neither felt like the other could judge them too harshly. Also, the possessiveness aspect Mallory mentioned, Daniel BELONGED to Kim…but none of that changes the fact that there was NO heat between them.
Can you tell I have strong feelings about this show? 🙂
I think Kim/Daniel was mostly about the familiarity and comfort, but a big part of it was Daniel’s appeal as a status symbol. The fact that he was hers really meant something to Kim, probably because he could’ve had any girl he wanted. Kind of a higher stakes version of what Lindsay felt for Nick.
Lesbian Jawline: see Clea Duvall. Like, wow, that girl pinged so hard for me. so. hard.
I abandoned my Kim Kelly after she continued to treat me horribly, like a pet for her amusement. I eventually realised I was desperately in love with her while she was intent on screwing her way through every guy we were friends with… in truth, she was probably not even self-aware enough to be a true Kim, but oh she was my sun and stars for a decade. Cargo pants, skate shoes, and a too-small tank top; I still get flashbacks.
and now I also want to rewatch F&G.
With Jordan Catalono making the awards show rounds this month, I think a Rayanne/Angela FFF would be very timely. 🙂
The episode of Community where Britta hangs out with someone just because she thinks she is a lesbian supports Lesbian Jawline Theory. I apologize for the ugly link but I am writing from work (lunch break almost finished) and it is a French keyboard and I don't have time to figure out where the real triangle brackets are…
http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BNTQ0Mjk3MDA…
Also, was it you that made a comment about Lindsay Weir being the Benjamin Button older version of the mistress on Mad Men?
Busy Phillips is Matilda Ledger’s godmother and my heart explodes.