Heart of Darkness or Three Men In A Boat? A Quiz -The Toast

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boatHeart of Darkness is a classic novella by Joseph Conrad about a fatal boat trip into the Belgian Congo that inspired the film Apocalypse NowThree Men In A Boat (To Say Nothing Of The Dog) is a light comic novel about the misadventures of three Londoners who take a boating holiday on the Thames with an ill-behaved dog. How well can you spot the differences between the two? Take our quiz to find out:

Heart of Darkness or Three Men In A Boat?

1. “I can’t sit still and see another man slaving and working. I want to get up and superintend, and walk round with my hands in my pockets, and tell him what to do. It is my energetic nature. I can’t help it.”

2. “I don’t like work–no man does–but I like what is in the work–the chance to find yourself. Your own reality–for yourself not for others–what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means.”


3. “Watching a coast as it slips by the ship is like thinking about an enigma. There it is before you, smiling, frowning, inviting, grand, mean, insipid, or savage, and always mute with an air of whispering, “Come and find out”.”

4. “On one point we were all agreed, and that was that, come what might, we would go through with this job to the bitter end. We had come out for a fortnight’s enjoyment on the river, and a fortnight’s enjoyment on the river we meant to have. If it killed us! well, that would be a sad thing for our friends and relations, but it could not be helped.”


5. “The river – with the sunlight flashing from its dancing wavelets, gilding gold the grey-green beech- trunks, glinting through the dark, cool wood paths, chasing shadows o’er the shallows, flinging diamonds from the mill-wheels, throwing kisses to the lilies, wantoning with the weirs’ white waters, silvering moss-grown walls and bridges, brightening every tiny townlet, making sweet each lane and meadow, lying tangled in the rushes, peeping, laughing, from each inlet, gleaming gay on many a far sail, making soft the air with glory – is a golden fairy stream.

But the river – chill and weary, with the ceaseless rain-drops falling on its brown and sluggish waters, with a sound as of a woman, weeping low in some dark chamber; while the woods, all dark and silent, shrouded in their mists of vapour, stand like ghosts upon the margin; silent ghosts with eyes reproachful, like the ghosts of evil actions, like the ghosts of friends neglected – is a spirit-haunted water through the land of vain regrets.”

6. “The brown current ran swiftly, bearing us down towards the sea with twice the speed of our upward progress; and life was running swiftly, too, ebbing, ebbing out of his heart into the sea of inexorable time. I saw the time approaching when I would be left alone of the party of ‘unsound method.’”


7. “If he were a man of strong mind, it only gave him fits; but a person of mere average intellect it usually sent mad.”

8. “But his soul was mad. Being alone in the wilderness, it had looked within itself and, by heavens I tell you, it had gone mad.”

9. “And this also,” he said suddenly, “has been one of the dark places of the  earth.”

10. “Thirst is a dangerous thing.”

11. “Sunlight is the life-blood of Nature. Mother Earth looks at us with such dull, soulless eyes, when the sunlight has died away from out of her. It makes us sad to be with her then; she does not seem to know us or to care for us.”

12. “Between us there was, as I have already said somewhere, the bond of the sea. Besides holding our hearts together through long periods of separation, it had the effect of making us tolerant of each other’s yarns—and even convictions.”

13. “I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.”

14. “‘Yes, I know,’ I said with something like despair in my heart, but bowing my head before the faith that was in her.”


1. Three Men In A Boat

2. Heart of Darkness

3. Heart of Darkness

4. Three Men In A Boat

5. Three Men In A Boat

6. Heart of Darkness

7. Three Men In A Boat

8. Heart of Darkness

9. Heart of Darkness 

10. Three Men In A Boat

11. Three Men In A Boat

12. Heart of Darkness

13. Three Men In A Boat

14. Heart of Darkness

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