106 Comments

  2. maureeneichner +160

    I kind of hate “Imagine” (I know, I’m a monster), so this filled me with glee.

    1. campbelliah +115

      Nah, disliking “Imagine” doesn’t mean you’re a monster. It means you’re not 15 anymore.

    4. cosmia +29

      Yeah I definitely have no friends over the age of 21 who still like Imagine, thank god

      If they do they are not my friend

    5. annacperl +24

      Oh, I loathe it with teeth-gnashing fury. But I am a monster, and have just accepted it.

    6. abbeyroadmedley +14

      Of his non-Beatles stuff, I would say that Instant Karma! is about a million times better than Imagine. (And it has George and Billy Preston!)

    7. jenavira +14

      thaaaaaaank youuuuuuu

      (I have always hated that song and I have always felt a little bit guilty for it. I shall stop feeling guilty right…now.)

  3. NicoleCliffe +201

    I will ban anyone who feels a pressing need to tell her the Dakota is not a hotel, that is like telling Dali that watches aren’t melty and hanging off tables.

  4. jhsaxena +121

    Also, when I was in school they got the kindergartners to sing “Imagine,” except they changed the lyrics to “all countries” and “all religions” in order to not offend anyone. And I am not an “Imagine” apologist or anything but good god, everyone, way to miss the point.

    1. wrappedupinbooks +26

      wait that doesn’t even make sense grammatically, let alone thematically

    2. lilsebastian01 +17

      My elementary school music teacher butchered different parts of it together to avoid the word “hell,” and had some really strong opinions about the notes we should be hitting on the “Whoa-oh-oh” part. It was… not what Lennon intended, I don’t think.

    2. anon210 +10

      I originally thought that meant arms fully extended to the sides, which is wrongly how I imagined trust falls go. Like, the speaker is flinging herself into the sea of haters, careless of her life or safety. I guess it actually has something to do with a music video that I’ll never watch, so my image is just completely off.

      1. aravisthequeen +30

        ….is that not it? I was always imagining Mallory flinging her arms wide and swan diving into a sea of haters, not giving a single flying fuck about whatever happens next.

        1. anon210 +5

          Well, now I don’t even know. Can someone who better understands the reference settle this?

          2. kirpunz +31

            I believe it would be “With arms wide open” as per Creed’s song and general singing stance (arms sort of flung out slight above shoulder height). And now I must cleanse myself from thinking about Creed.

          3. anon210 +13

            Is this also a safe space to admit that until looking it up on Wikipedia just now, I thought Creed was a Christian rock band?

            I hope so, because I just did.

            Edit: Never mind. Going past the lede reveals that they are sometimes classified as Christian rock, so I wasn’t totally stupid for thinking that.

          4. GoatseFanfic +93

            If it sucks like Christian rock it may legally be classified as Christian rock, in what is known today as the Nickelback Corollary

          5. hopelessshade +4

            Given how much, much, much time was spent discussing the Christianity of their lyrics at my Catholic school…

  7. littlehuntingcreek +104

    The entire Lennon-McCartney relationship, encapsulated here:
    oh sure i bet
    at night
    for sleeping
    like a conformist
    not for peace

      1. cosmia +50

        I am also sort of Team George but tbh I think Ringo might be the only one who didn’t do any erroneously bad shit

        1. abbeyroadmedley +40

          Ringo is charming and wonderful and completely inoffensive and the Beatle that I would most like to hang out with.

          I am Team Macca forever, though. THAT VOICE. THOSE SONGS.

          (But George was the prettiest Beatle by far! No contest! And one of the only men I can think of who could pull off any combination of short/medium/long hair and mustache/beard/cleanshaven, and look equally hot with any of them.)

          1. cosmia +22

            IA George really was the prettiest Beatle, no one seems to agree with me!

            I think it’s because I had a boyfriend once who was kind of a bad person but also kind of looked like George circa-Hard Day’s Night

          4. mbculver +12

            Forget pretty, George was the best guitar-player. Listen to Something and tell me that isn’t inspired.

          5. abbeyroadmedley +4

            Absolutely! I don’t mean to take anything away from his talent by focusing on his extraordinary prettiness. (Some of my favorite guitar work of his is on Octopus’s Garden, of all songs.) Plus his songwriting! It’s so amazing to watch him develop through the years — he was such a baby when they started! Going from I Need You (which is awesome) to Here Comes the Sun to All Things Must Pass? By Abbey Road, George’s songs are arguably better than John’s, and I much prefer his solo work.

  10. misty +54

    i just shared this article on fb
    for peace

    i hope it pisses off a lot of people. that way I will know who to unfriend.

  11. muttershanks +17

    As an avid John Lennon disliker, this warms the bitter cockles of my heart so much.

  12. turanga_leela +62

    I lost all respect for John Lennon when I found out he did not know how to properly make tea. His auntie told him to put the water in the cup first and then the tea bag. And he believed her! Idiot.

    1. dakimel +26

      I developed full-body shivers of disgust just now when you shared that. Thankfully I have a proper cup of English breakfast on standby and am using it to calm my nerves.

    3. monstrosity +4

      This comment has made me find all the respect you lost for John Lennon and now I have it for you.

  13. toomuchnick +108

    Mallory just achieved what McCartney couldn’t with nine years of Wings albums.

    1. CordeliaFitz +94

      I’m not sure he actually needs Mallory’s help to be any dirtbaggier than he was in real life…

  16. bpym28 +14

    Every day after work, I walk past the “Imagine” memorial in Central Park and also the Dakota, and they are both SO MOBBED with European tourists. It’s like their number one stop after the Abercrombie and Fitch flagship store.

  17. sarapyle +43

    This is why John Lennon is the worst Beatle. ALL HAIL THE GLORY THAT IS GEORGE HARRISON. ALL HAIL.

      1. RoseCamelia +36

        I was taught (a very, very long time ago) by a retired studio musician. He rarely had a kind word to say of current recording artists, having extremely high standards. He earned those high standards, though. That said, we should all sit up and take notes when he says “Ringo is the best drummer on the planet”. This teacher was eternally angry with The Beatles for forcing Ringo to do nothing but “play time, man; just play time”. They kept Ringo on a leash, musically.

        1. sarapyle +16

          So, I played the drums (badly) in high school, and came away from that with the unwavering belief that Ringo Starr is probably the greatest or second-greatest drummer of all time. The “or” is if you consider having a very distinct style “better” than having an incredible ability to adapt and fit in any given song, playing anything anyone can dream up, and doing it so inordinately well that no one realizes you’re doing anything unless they listen very closely and also know a lot about music in general and drumming in particular.

          In which case, it’s Neil Peart by a hair.

  19. Zueignung +94

    While it’s refreshing to see Yoko depicted as the voice of reason, she really should get the credit for the bed-ins. Those were pure Yoko Ono conceptual art (albeit extremely ineffective political protest).

    Anyway, Team Julian. I really unfairly hate Sean Lennon for the love that was lavished on him; it makes the neglect of Julian all the worse. Oh well, “Hey Jude” is a masterpiece, and certainly much better than “Beautiful Boy.”

    2. Jesbur +37

      Yeah, Yoko would never remind John of his first son’s existence. This is the woman who made Julian buy mementos of his own father. I don’t blame her for breaking up the Beatles, I just blame her for being so awful to poor Julian.

    3. abbeyroadmedley +19

      I was always really touched by the relationship between Paul and Julian (although I know they had some issues a while back). Paul seems like a guy who just takes great joy in being a dad.

  20. emdash +59

    I nearly dissolved into a sea of rage when I watched “The Killing Fields” and saw they used “Imagine” over the closing credits. HEY YOU KNOW WHO WAS TRYING TO “IMAGINE NO POSSESSIONS?” POL FRICKING POT.

    asdljfnaskdjfbalskdfbaslkdfjbasldkfjabsldf

  21. Frumiosa +95

    If napping for peace isn’t a legitimate form of political protest than my entire life has been a lie.

    1. ofTrebond +42

      Well, if you are napping, you probably aren’t making war with anyone, so it seems legit.

  22. abbeyroadmedley +22

    I can’t stay away from the Beatles posts.

    i bet Paul would never think of this

    That pretty much sums up John!

    for sleeping
    like a conformist
    not for peace

    THE BEST.

      2. abbeyroadmedley +6

        Ahhh, hi there! Ha, that was a really fun thread before. It’s so hard to find someone who understands when you complain about one of the most celebrated and successful musicians of all time being “underrated.”

      1. laurenipsum +3

        Yay! I more or less think George was Actually The Best but I love Paul the most and will always love Paul the most.

  23. onefinemess +11

    i just want to make a better world for my son
    you know
    just a world without countries or bridges or tariffs or
    or hats, or capitalism or anything
    sons
    what?
    you mean your sons
    what do you mean
    you have two sons, John
    we don’t have two sons, you goose
    we have Sean
    right
    and you also have Julian
    whaaaat
    your other son that you have
    ohh oh oh
    the boy from before
    that’s right
    he doesn’t live here
    no he doesn’t
    I wonder what he’s up to
    I don’t know

    ^
    |
    this!

  24. bitzyboozer +5

    This is dead on and it also inspired me to go listen to some Plastic Ono Band, so thank you!

  25. roboticaquatic +18

    This was A+ perfect except John totally didn’t know how or if Paul slept at night, and suspected he didn’t, hence the song “How Do You Sleep?”. Which, ew. Still can’t believe he wrote that, recorded it, and released it without thinking “This is kinda creepy, right? And a pretty harsh way to treat someone I am no longer obligated to interact with, huh?” And George recorded a guitar part for it, too, like whaaaat? I get it, I find Paul annoying, too, but sheesh guys.

  26. jennjennboben +50

    The only thing that brings me more joy than this is how mad men are on the Facebook post for it. <3

    1. ToTheIsLand +20

      “John and Paul both felt such mastery in their craft that they wrote unapologetically for children. Does Kanye have that confidence?” DYING.

      1. jennjennboben +6

        Thank you for this reminder to check the comments again today. The anger brings me so much joy.

    1. thisclimbingbean +9

      I feel bad that I used to have a disdain for Yoko Ono. She is one cool, interesting, talented person in her own right. It’s a shame that she was so caught up in all the bs and madness that surrounded the Beatles.

  28. sophiakiona +21

    Needs more primal scream therapy and crying about how he wanted to have sex with his mom and/or Paul.

  29. californianinkansas +13

    I have a secret confession: I hate the Beatles. Everything that I’ve ever heard from them seems slightly out-tune / off-key.

  30. tploomis +2

    Imagine is the greatest song ever written, whatever John’s personal failings.

    1. sarapyle +56

      False.

      “Imagine” isn’t even the best song written by someone who was once in a band called the Beatles.

      “Imagine” isn’t even the best song with a single word title.

      “Imagine” isn’t even the best song that sounds like a monologue from that douchey bro in your college dorm who gets high and talks about how the color yellow he sees might not even be the color yellow, man, like, how would we know?

      “Imagine” isn’t even in the top million songs of all time for anything except being overrated and pretentious and cynicism-masquerading-as-idealism.

      1. elsajeni +23

        Wait, so what is the best song that sounds like a monologue by that stoned dude?

    2. V_Hardapple +19

      I may say you are incorrect, but I’m not the only one (who may say that).

  31. Bittersweet

    Forget pretty, George was the best guitar-player. Listen to Something and tell me that isn't inspired.

  33. climbing bean

    I feel bad that I used to have a disdain for Yoko Ono. She is one cool, interesting, talented person in her own right. It's a shame that she was so caught up in all the bs and madness that surrounded the Beatles.

  35. Fl0ssieraptor +41

    I’ve hated that song since I was a kid. When I was at school we had a music teacher who wore crumpled linen suits and had affairs with the sixth formers and Imagine was his favourite ever song. If we’d behaved ourselves and not set off the example tune on the keyboards he would let us sing it. The first time he did this, he said we were going to be using the ‘brotherhood AND SISTERHOOD of man’ version (because he was teaching in a girls school and wanted to be right on). Without thinking I said ‘oh come ON,’ and he turned these sad, pitying eyes to me, and then said to the rest of the class ‘well I guess Flossie hates peace.’