I was having an argument with someone who is Wrong the other day about which Kid in the Hall is the most indispensable (BRUCE, UNQUESTIONABLY) and we came down hard on different sides of the Kevin fence.
Is every single Kid in the Hall a precious gem forged in the fire-petals of Heaven? Of course. Will I ever achieve over the course of my lifetime even one-sixteenth of the greatness of one of the less impressive Buddy Cole sketches? No, never. THAT SAID: Kevin is the weak link, KITH-wise.
I hear you. I feel you. I get it. No one wants to pick a weak link, obviously, but it has to be said. Obviously it cannot be Dave or Scott. There’s no one out there so committed to contrarianism that she’d willingly kick Paul McCartney out of the Beatles. Dave and Scott are tentpoles. Pillars of strength. Consort battleships (Eliza, I like you this way). Eliminate them immediately from contention.
This leaves Mark, Bruce and Kevin. You cannot cut Bruce. You cannot. Without Bruce there is no “fine ham abounds,” no one to play pre-teen characters. None of the others have his innocence — Dave also has a boy’s face, but there is too much of the eternal devil in his smirk to convincingly sell the pathos of the Businessman sketch.
I can understand — barely — ranking Mark below Kevin because he tends to go less weird. Mark swung for the fences less often, perhaps. But he made an enchanting woman, which is 2/3rds of what makes a Kids in the Hall a Kid in the Hall.
No, the order is — the order must always be — Bruce, Scott, Dave, Mark, Kevin. They are all high above us all, but they must adhere to their native ranks. I will admit no flaw with this line of succession.
Please enjoy “Terriers.”
Tags: bruce is probably my favorite, kids in the hall, kith monday, terriers
Um, but Kevin was one of the Sizzler sisters, along with his sister, JERRY SIZZLER! He waited all night for his sister under that pile of LEAVES! For that reason alone I cannot rank him under Mark.
Kevin was also the Bearded lady! You can’t have the Chicken Lady without her best friend!
Exhibit C: The Citizen Kane sketch. YOU WANT A MORTICIAN! YOU WANT A MORTICIAN!
Dave, Scott, Bruce, Mark, Kevin. The end.
Bruce, Dave, Scott, Mark, Kevin
Agreed.
Simon Milligan! I think my head would explode if I tried to pick a weak link.
Simon forever!
yes, it’s the COLLECTIVE. We don’t need to rank here!
Obviously this is 100% correct. Well done, Mallory, you are a gentleman and a scholar.
“Um, excuse me, ladies. You’re scantily clad and have nothing to do with the narrative. Therefore it’s sexist.”
I recognize when I am in above my depth, so I won’t wade into the Kevin-ranking fray… I’ll just say that this song is a treasure. I have a Westie and I sing him this song on at *least* a weekly basis.
I have an Airedale and clearly have not seen enough Kids in the Hall because this is my first time ever seeing this! And yes, it is a treasure and 100% accurate.
My neighbors have a rat terrier and a schnauzer mix, and they’re the best dogs ever. The schnauzer mix will happily sit on your lap and cuddle for hours, and the rat terrier loves jumping up and giving kisses. Once, when I hadn’t been over to their house for a few days, I was sitting on the couch talking with Mrs. Neighbor, and Jesse (the rat terrier) sat on the back of the couch and spent five minutes licking my face with tender devotion. THE BEST.
I actually rank Bruce, Scott, Mark, Dave, Kevin – I loved Dave (he was my favourite as a kid!) but he skates on pretty; Mark’s devil is too amazing.
Uh, no arguments on Kevin.
You’re right about Dave, but he is SO pretty.
RIGHT? He is, comedically, his own creation in that sketch where people let him be a doctor because he’s so charming.
But I love Kevin. His faces of disgust are the best.
I love Kevin too.
God, I love Kevin, too. He can play everything: from jerk “must have slipped my mind” to crazy “Sizzler Sister” to adorable “adopted business man” to cynical “bearded lady”.
I crushed on him SO HARD because in my mind’s eye, he was the comedic underdog and seemed the brightest and most likely to be sane in real life. So take that, pretty boy Foley.
BASS SOLO!
I cannot subscribe to this ranking at all. Dave Foley is wonderful, yes, but he’s at his best only in CONJUNCTION with Kevin. He’s got a few good solo hits, I grant you, but they’re one of the classic comedic double acts. And Kevin is SUCH AN ENCHANTING WOMAN, considering how weird-looking a dude he is. I love especially his game, giggly wife in the “Comfortable” sketch.
We have no disagreement about Bruce, though I’d be interested in hearing what you have to say about some of his weirder “auteur” efforts, like fucking “Love and Sausages.”
My ranking is Mark (he disappears into roles, that’s why he’s underappreciated); Bruce; Kevin; Scott; Dave.
Kevin is not a good-looking woman. He has thin lips and close-set eyes and I would not make out with him in drag.
I cannot high-five thezlot enough. “Good-looking” is not the only factor of an “enchanting” female KitH character. Or what are either of the K/Cathys doing ever. Being lovable and sympathetic, as the grand majority of Scott and Bruce’s female characters are, is what. Their female characters are just plain different from Mark’s too-believable bombshells and Dave’s haughty authoritarians. Kevin’s women, too, are vastly different from all of these, wearing insecurities on their sleeves, a character that many sketches written for but not by Kevin would be sorry to lose. I believe all of them are in their own ways “enchanting” women.
I would argue that Scott is not a tentpole specifically because he is a lone wolf: in a sketch troupe, we need those who are willing and able to play well with others, which Kevin does admirably with each of his castmates. One shouldn’t underestimate “Slipped My Mind” and Simon Milligan, for crying out loud. (For that matter, let’s not forget what a good monologuist Kevin is, with his excellently self-deprecating—and often harrowing—reflections such as “Daddy Drank.”)
Top marks to Kevin for best all-around, then Dave, Bruce, Scott, Mark.
But Scott has such moxie!
That I would certainly never deny.
Thank you for your voice of reason! Kevin is actually my favorite and the most underrated Kid in the Hall. Bruce and Scott (sorry, Scott!) are overrated. Dave is great but it seems he might be kind of a jerk in real life. For me, it’s: Kevin, Mark, Scott/Dave, Bruce.
I only enjoy Scott Thompson when he is playing an anxious mom. that’s right, I don’t appreciate Buddy Cole. for this reason the correct ranking is Bruce, Dave, Kevin, Mark, Scott. Kevin is not often good but he is so strange. so strange. and the quiet shoes sketch! “Daddy Drank,” what ever you call it. I call it quiet shoes.
let me revise that to say that Scott’s greatest Kids in the Hall role ever is the one he does on Hannibal. I hated that show until I realized it was him and that the whole thing is a very long and elaborate no-laugh-lines-until-the-end KITH sketch, like the one where Mark is trying to catch the mouse. when I realized that it was like in the pirates of the caribbean movie where they see the green flash and the boat turns over and they sail upside down to the land of the dead, it all came clear all at once.
“I’ve been longing for a return to the fundamentals of investigation!”
Without Jimmy, we’d all just cry and stare unblinkingly into the abyss all the time. Thanks, Scott.
have you ever thought just how good Hannibal would be if they gradually recast the rest of them? Kevin is made to play Will, just made for it, he is scruffy and twitchy like Hugh Dancy can’t even imagine. Dave can be Hannibal, he has an unsettling stare. Mark might be just as good but I would want him to play Gillian Anderson instead. Bruce I guess I would cast as Alana since he does unblinking sincerity so well. I mean at this point I love it as it is but I do think this would be better. Lawrence Fishburne could keep on being Jack, he wouldn’t notice any changes
But the emotional trauma rating would go way down, and that’s at least 73.9% of the reason I watch that show.
that is fair enough. me I watch it 80 percent for the high comedy, 20 percent for the antlers.
I don’t spread for no RO-SES
I guess my view of Mark is muddled by his not-very-great stint on SNL, but I’m shocked by the several rankings putting him above Dave. Daryll and the chicken lady are all I can think of when I think of Mark, which I know is unfair.
For me, the thing about Mark is that he has a look about him that makes the viewer feel that he could veer off into cruelty at any moment. When he does play a cruel or bullying character, as in the sketch where he visits Kevin McDonald’s diner and insults his cheese sandwiches and taste in movies, it’s almost painful to watch. I think that tension of knowing that he could sneer and cock an eyebrow in derision at any moment, to devastating effect, is comedy gold.
That being said, Dave and Bruce are dangerous in their own different ways, and I think Mallory’s ranking is not crazy. Mostly I’m just happy that we all get to talk about it together here!
On the other hand, his stint at SNL lead to his bang on Lorne Michaels impersonation in Brain Candy.
See, Mark was the first cast member I was familiar with, from his amazing work on Slings & Arrows, so I am unduly fond of him from my earlier associations.
(Wel…fond is a weird word to associate with Richard Smith-Jones, who is truly the worst, but you know what I’m saying.)
For a second I thought you said Bruce was the MOST disposable and I just got so mad.
I disagree about Kevin only because he has fantastic delivery. He’s capable of the kind of daffiness the others usually aren’t. Also, I’ve had this ranking argument with myself about 53,859 times, and have decided that ranking them is bloody impossible and it’s best to just not.
It’s improper to rank one’s children and it is improper to rank the Kids in the Hall.
Edit: but we can rank aspects of them and frankly Scott has the best Canadian voice, perhaps of all time.
I’m loving this KITH Monday bizz. Starts the week off RIGHT.
Every time I think I have a favorite Kid, I see a different sketch and I remember that it is impossible (for me) to have a favorite. Therefore I refuse to get mad at any ranking because every ranking is correct for at least one portion of the show.
Kevin McDonald knows you don’t appreciate him. Kevin McDonald doesn’t care. The French know where it’s at. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPj8pjAXYdQ
This song is so very The Smiths.
I spent this entire sketch trying to figure out where in Toronto they filmed it.
I spent this entire sketch trying to figure out where in Toronto they filmed it.
Bruce’s new memoir/book of essays, Let’s Start a Riot, is SO good. I’d say it’s better than it has to be, if that makes sense…but then I guess he’s an actual writer and not a new celebrity cashing in on sudden fame. I was wondering why no one mentioned it here so I just checked and it’s not out in the U.S. until spring. Just get it from Canada!
Die. die. die die.
Die. die. die die.
Worms eating your…eyes.
Genius.
2 points in Mark’s favor:
1.) The weird sniveling crying thing he does after getting attacked by the Scott robot in the sketch where Scott makes a robot of himself
2.) Lopez!
Lopez!
Lopez!
Lopez!
True story: My first husband was 5’2″ and the spitting image of Bruce McCulloch. Sadly, he lacked his charm.
No, Mallory. No. Ranking the Kids is not and cannot come to good. Different phases in our lives will allow us to appreciate different Kids most fully. That is all.
No, Mallory. No. Ranking the Kids is not and cannot come to good. Different phases in our lives will allow us to appreciate different Kids most fully. That is all.
I agree with those who said ranking them is impossible, because the whole is what makes KITH so great. No weak links, the best we can do is choose personal favorites based on those we identify with the most. That said, I’m loving the discussion!
I always thought of Bruce and Mark as a Pair…then Dave and Kevin as a Pair…admit it, there was a special synergy in those dyads. . Hey. But Scott…he could fly high above them all, he could mix like magic with each of them.