Toasties! Let’s talk about food. I was cold so I ate most of a roast duck with a generous helping of sour cream and some salad mixed in. These are cold times. What’s your favorite food? Most unusual for you foods? Open thread? Open thread!
Tags: meta, open thread
Toasties, it has been A Week of Wedding Planning! We have acquired samples of save-the-date cards which we’re really going to use as invitations, my sainted mother has booked (and paid for!) our tour bus, and I found a trump dress that I’ll order tomorrow to compare with the one I have already, and looks far, far, FAR more flattering and just as importantly, far more hat-friendly. PHEW.
How are the other wedding-planning Toasts doing? Tell me your triumphs and your struggles, your giddy and your fury.
I’m currently investigating options for chuppah poles, and looking into some DIY decorations that I can’t possibly ruin with my complete lack of art skills.
For some reason your links aren’t working for me, but congrats on finding the cards and the dress! Mostly we’re just freaking out about how soon it is! Next week will be 2 months until the big day. So many little details left to figure out.
Also, in super disappointing/upsetting news, my brother has started putting out some serious vibes that he’s not going to be able to make it for the wedding. He lives on another continent, it’s not all that easy for him to get time off of work, and he’d basically be spending two full days in transit for one day in the States. I totally get why it might not be possible, but it’s still a huge let-down.
But! To end on a high note – our honeymoon is totally booked, and while things will hopefully be warmer by then anyway, I cannot wait to escape to tropical weather, fruity booze drinks, and scuba diving!
Ah boo, and now I can’t edit. Drat.
Dress is here.
Cards are here.
Otherwise: where are you honeymooning???
Ooh! I love those cards!
We’re headed to Grand Cayman for the honeymoon. We are *extremely* fortunate that my parents decided to help us out with it, and chose that location because we’re both scuba certified and it is great for diving. I’m hoping to get/borrow a GoPro to documen the dives, too.
gooooooorgeous dress!
Thank you! I am super excited about it.
Pretty dress!
I have one month left and am seized with terror. This weekend I must go to the flower mart and examine the flowers, as my aunties have decided they will be my florist, and I need to figure out what we will need. I am working on mustering up free-spirit feelings so that I can smile joyfully when they bring me lopsided centerpieces.
Oh dear! Best of luck to you
My new wedding planning strategy is responding to nightmares. Dream that the bones above my teeth were missing? Dentist appointment booked in the morning. Dream that the guests’ gifts hadn’t arrived? Set up a preliminary order the next day. Dream that the minister wasn’t there? Bought his plane ticket.
I’m the worst at this. But I guess the best you can hope for is completing a few tasks each day.
Would love to see your save the date cards and your dress if you can re-share the links!
They’re a couple of replies up 🙂
That seems like a totally valid strategy!
Oh, they look great! Thanks for sharing. Love your save-the-dates!!
That was basically how I planned my wedding last year and it worked out great 😉
Awww, thank you for the encouragement. And congratulations!
This weekend we are registering and I may be a little TOO excited for it but KITCHENAID ICE CREAM MAKER ATTACHMENT, YOU WILL BE MINEEEEE! We’re also finishing up our website this weekend and picking out engagement photo clothes.
I opted not to get a makeup artist for the day, thinking it would be Not Cheap and They Won’t Get My Style Anyway, but I added up the costs of the makeup I’m buying and looked at local companies and it’d probably be about the same. I’m thinking of it as an investment in Overall Being Better At Adulting, but I’m regretting at least not interviewing a few ladies first.
Andddd I had a wonderful chat with my therapist about some things that were bothering me about family dynamics and the day and making me upset and it was just the best.
WHAT KIND OF ICE CREAM WILL YOU MAKE!?
EVERY KIND. Although I have held on to this recipe (except mine is from Sunset Magazine) and a tangerine sherbert recipe (also from Sunset) for probably over a year now in anticipation: http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/blueberry-cheesec…
The Perfect Scoop has a phenomenal recipe for raspberry swirl custard. Probably the other recipes are good too? I’m just not eager to branch out from perfection.
Oooooo good to know, thank you!
Having an ice cream maker is the most wonderful kind of dangerous! You’ll find yourself looking at all sorts of ingredients going, “Hmm… I wonder if that would make a good ice cream?” My two favorite odd flavors I’ve made so far are sweet corn ( http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/swee… ) and ginger ( http://food52.com/recipes/18839-ginger-ice-cream-… ) and I’ve loved both! Good luck!
That dress is beautiful!
I love stuffing, and even though lately I’ve been kind of put off meat for some reason, I had a thick, juicy steak with horseradish on Tuesday and it was amazing.
STUFFING. I need to make an effort to incorporate stuffing into my life more than once a year.
YES. This is a good opportunity to get some recipes! Do you have one you love?
I like to use a fruit (dried apricots, apple, dried cranberries?) and a nut (hazelnut, walnut) and sometimes an unconventional onion-family thing like leek or shallot. Apple-hazelnut-leek was particularly good last year.
mmmmmm! What time are you serving please? I’ll bring wine.
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/11/pull-a…
Pull-apart stuffing rolls. They are amazing.
Holy crap I love stuffing.
I made oyster stuffing for Friendsgiving last year, and it went in a FLASH. So good. And, not to sound like too much of an asshole, but it went WAY faster than the other stuffing that someone made so there.
Oh also, after the Toastpost about Laurie Colwin, I’ve been obsessed, and she has an adorable-sounding cornbread stuffing recipe. (She pooh-poohs oyster stuffing, however, so I know our tastes differ.)
Last week I had two steaks in one night because my husband was sick and didn’t have any appetite. I felt bad for him but I couldn’t exactly let the extra steak go to waste…
Stuffing is amazing. I have an awesome cornbread sausage stuffing recipe that I always use. I’m suddenly inspired to make myself a small batch of stuffing at some point this weekend.
Stuffing is one of my favourite foods ever. Why do we never have it except for winter holidays? Perhaps this should be altered this weekend!
And hmn maybe this is why we are crazy about strata, it is like … stuffing quiche.
Happy Friday toasties!!!
Boy is it good to be back. It’s f’ing cold day here in Ann Arbor and I just read a blurb that climate change denial Senator from where else, Oklahoma, brought in a snowball to the Senate floor to debate the validity of climate change. This makes me both sad & rofl.
Switching over to a serious topic: mental illness.
My boyfriend’s younger brother is schizophrenic, he’s been on Meds for awhile now and it has helped tremendously. However recently he stopped taking his Meds w/o the family realizing until my bf notice the odd behaviors that were surfacing. Long story short, it took a whole weekend (I’m talking all day & nite) for him to get thru to his brother. Bf even tried to analyze each of the various voices inside bro’s head to help get thru to him and to help him make sense of it all. Needless to say it was a extremely long and exhausting weekend emotionally, physically and spiritually.
I’ve never dealt this closely with such serious mental illness and witnessing firsthand the toll it takes on family members caring for loved ones with the illness has been eye opening and deeply moving.
Any stories, advice, personal experiences, etc you guys want to share are welcomed.
I always suggest NAMI’s support groups: they have a family/loved one group, and a peer-to-peer group for people with mental illnesses.
I know it doesn’t feel that way, but your boyfriend is extremely lucky that it only took a weekend to get his brother to take his medication again, and I think it speaks to how much his brother trusts him. That trust is super important.
Thank you for the recommendation.
Bf & his brother are very close and there is a very strong trust & bond between them. That was definitely essential to him getting thru to his brother.
*Hugs* This is so hard. I actually want to talk about this in a deep way, but since this is a comment board and not a therapy session, I will try to keep it to a minimum. But to put it bluntly: there is a complete lack of support for family members and close friends of people with mental illness.
Maybe this is not true everywhere, but in the circles I move in, there is a lot of judgment. Some people will think you caused it (esp. for family- needless to say, this can really mess you up). Some people think you’re not doing enough to help them. Others think you’re doing too much.
If you are the SO of someone with a mentally ill family member, you are actually in a good position to take some of the weight off… if you want to, of course, if that works for you and for him.
Listening is the best thing you can do. When I was a kid, we had a severely mentally ill person in my family. I had no one to talk to about it, because it’s not really a subject that wins you friends and admiration in the 7th grade. Most non-family adults in my life were also floored by it.
And of course if you are responsible for the mentally ill person in any way, it’s a totally new level of “hard.” It’s frightening and very isolating. Because you’re supposed to be the strong one, right? You have to be kind, generous, patient. If you lose your composure for a moment, it feels like you’re a failure. You can get to a point where you feel like a monster for admitting your own emotional needs.
So yeah, I’m just so sorry you’re going through this. I feel for your BF so, so hard. What he did is amazing and requires tremendous emotional strength.
Reciprocal Hug to you as well. Thank you for the comments. There does seem to be very few support systems in place for family members.
It is immensely difficult to care for a mentally ill family member well.
Bf is an amazing person and the strength and love he showed to his bro is even more amazing.
I would love to talk about this in greater depth. It’s a very fascinating topic.
This is a heavily edited version of my personal experience, for what it’s worth:
I have a brother who became diagnosed with schizophrenia after taking a massive hit of estacy while at a rave (this happened many years ago). As he stabilized, his initial diagnosis changed from paranoid schizophrenia to manic depressive to being bipolar. He currently resides in supportive housing, and has been very independent (almost passing for “normal”) for the last 10 years or so.
What saved him from living on the streets included having an advocate (someone who could navigate the health system, drive him to appointments, etc.), residing in Canada (thank God for free-ish health care) and having CARING and EDUCATED social workers who supported him and never, ever judged him or his choices.
First, everyone’s experiences with mental illness are different, so don’t let yourself get freaked out when you start googling and see a bunch of horror stories or advice that doesn’t sound relevant to your situation.
Second, the hard part is getting over the mental framework that treatment has to be about working towards some kind of cure, or that all is lost if he’s not making constant progress. And don’t get caught up in philosophical exercises about finding someone’s true identity beneath the illness. Focus on the practical and day-to-day.
Third, if you want to do something nice for the brother, buy him a carton of cigarettes. For some reason smoking is extremely therapeutic to people with schizophrenia, to the point that doctors will sometimes advise patients not to quit.
Check out Paul Gilmartin’s podcast “Mental Illness Happy Hour.” He talks about his own experiences with things that go bump in the mental night, and interviews all kinds of people – comics, professional sports folks, you name it.
I think he strikes a really nice balance of taking these matters seriously and injecting some much-needed humor – he’s a stand-up comic as well.
Yay! Open Thread!
My favorite winter foods are a) soups of all kinds (esp. split pea soup, pumpkin soup, and chicken soup) and b) duck confit with potatoes baked in duck fat.
In other news: it’s 6 pm and I’m still at work because I need to finish this annoying thing and I don’t want to so I’ve been procrastinating all afternoon. *sigh*. Why do I do this to myself?
Please give me all of the duck fat, kthx.
The Bearded One and I had leftover duckfat recently (and is there a more glorious thing to have in the fridge??) and made…duckfat caramel corn. I have to admit, the idea was all the dude’s, and he made the caramel himself (but I did the rest 🙂 and it was AMAZING.
FRIENDS.
Does anyone now about a story about birds, back in the old days of Creation, where all the birds picked up jewels to paint their feathers bright colors, but the nightingale accidentally swallowed his and that is why he is brown but has a beautiful song?
This story apparently appeared on an episode of the Jim Henson Hour, with Kermit narrating it, but I am trying to figure out if they made it up, or if it has some earlier precedent somewhere else, and the Muppet Wiki is not forthcoming.
That sounds vaguely familiar to me as a myth.
I remember it from my youth too.
I came back to try and research this further, hoping it would lead to one of the Multicolored Fairy Books. Instead I was redirected back to this post! Very elusive tale, that, but I’m not giving up on Andrew Lang just yet.
Toast pals! I am looking for non-religious options for readings for my upcoming wedding. Does anyone have any suggestions? I have a couple options that I like, and I’ve done some googling and some Pinterest-ing, but haven’t found much more.
I had a similar quandary. Do any of these suit?
Depends on where your sense of humor lies. My husband and I used this poem by Isaac Asimov:
Tell me why the stars do shine,
Tell me why the ivy twines,
Tell me what makes skies so blue,
And I’ll tell you why I love you.
Nuclear fusion makes stars to shine,
Tropisms make the ivy twine,
Raleigh scattering make skies so blue,
Testicular hormones are why I love you
It was a hit at our wedding, but it probably isn’t for everyone.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Yeah, you’re my kind of people. This is amazing.
What kind of readings? If you want something silly, there’s always Auden. I like Nonsense Song.
I’ve been longing to find something science-related. Sort of the wedding equivalent of You Want a Physicist to Speak at Your Funeral ( http://thankgodforevolution.com/node/1960 ). We are both quite silly, though, so silly suggestions are also appreciated.
A Practical Wedding has a bunch of posts about this, and the Open Thread might be a good place to start! http://apracticalwedding.com/2014/03/sample-weddi…
We used the Velveteen Rabbit, and a reading by Bertrand Russell, which we edited lightly to remove some gendered language. We also shortlisted an excerpt from the Massachusetts supreme court ruling on same-sex marriage that talks about the responsibilities of marriage, and a piece from Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s “A Gift from the Sea.” For our vows, we took a portion of Walt Whitman’s “Song of the Open Road” that begins “Say only to one another” and changed the wording slightly to use as promises (e.g., “Do you give each other your love, more precious than money?” and we held hands and said “we do”). That portion of the poem could work too as a straightforward reading though.
dang y’all did it right
Okay, no joke, your description of what you used as vows made me tear up. Dang, y’all are awesome.
Oh man. That’s a hell of a lineup. Well done!
Awww thanks guys. Every time I remember our vows, I kinda tear up too. I loved my wedding 😀
Wait are you kidding me? We used the same section of “Song of the Open Road” as vows! Also changed to be question-answer!
For the OP, we had a paragraph from Madeleine L’Engle’s The Irrational Season and Robert Hershon’s poem “Superbly Situated” as readings. And at a friend’s wedding a few months ago, I read Neil Gaiman’s “Wedding Poem” (sorry I couldn’t find a more direct link). I love all of those readings a lot.
That is so awesome! Toasties are obviously the best people.
We didn’t use it for vows, but we also had a reading from Song of the Open Road at our wedding!! We excerpted two sections and put them together so the reading was:
Listen! I will be honest with you,
I do not offer the old smooth prizes, but offer rough new prizes,
These are the days that must happen to you:
You shall not heap up what is call’d riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you earn or achieve,
You but arrive at the city to which you were destin’d, you hardly settle yourself to satisfaction before you are call’d by an irresistible call to depart,
You shall be treated to the ironical smiles and mockings of those who remain behind you,
What beckonings of love you receive you shall only answer with passionate kisses of parting,
You shall not allow the hold of those who spread their reach’d hands toward you.
Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money,
I give you myself before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?
And our other reading was Neruda! Sonnet IX:
There where the waves shatter on the restless rocks
the clear light bursts and enacts its rose,
and the sea-circle shrinks to a cluster of buds,
to one drop of blue salt, falling.
O bright magnolia bursting in the foam,
magnetic transient whose death blooms
and vanishes–being, nothingness–forever:
broken salt, dazzling lurch of the sea.
You & I, Love, together we ratify the silence,
while the sea destroys its perpetual statues,
collapses its towers of wild speed and whiteness:
because in the weavings of those invisible fabrics,
galloping water, incessant sand,
we make the only permanent tenderness.
We’re definitely having Velveteen Rabbit, which makes me cry if I even think about it too hard. Your readings are Peak Wedding, though. Damn.
Well, ‘I Wanna Be Yours’ by John Cooper Clarke is a classic.
I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots
I wanna be yours
I wanna be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
I wanna be your dreamboat
when you want to sail away
Let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
I don’t care
I wanna be yours
I wanna be your electric meter
I will not run out
I wanna be the electric heater
you’ll get cold without
I wanna be your setting lotion
hold your hair in deep devotion
Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean
that’s how deep is my devotion.
I looooooove this!
one of my friends says she insists on frank o’hara’s “having a coke with you” as her reading if she ever gets married, and i agree, it’s pretty beautiful.
I would recommend looking at some of Pablo Neruda’s Love Sonnets. Used one officiating at my cousin’s wedding last summer.
A couple of my friends had a bunch of sci-fi related stuff at their wedding (I would not say it was sci-fi themed, exactly) and the only reading I remember specifically was this speech from Serenity.
On the sci-fi theme. Maybe leave out the part about the time-travel threesome. Or not!
If we hadn’t ~eloped~ we would have gone with this poem, which I’ve heard people complain it’s overused, but whatever, I LOVE IT
I’m in a similar boat, and I think I’m leaning toward this Wendell Berry passage.
Rumi and Neruda are always good.
Is something slightly creepy suited to you and yours? I literally rejected a lover because she felt that my reading her the following poem “ruined the mood.” It can come off a little stalkery (which, major LOL that mentioned lady did not care for it), but it is a neat one in that it asks nothing and doesn’t insist, nice guy-style, on being first among the recipient’s affections.
If You Hear that a Thousand People Love You
If you hear that a thousand people love you
remember… Saavedra is among them.
If you hear that a hundred people love you
remember… Saavedra is either in the first
or very last row
If you hear that seven people love you
remember… Saavedra is among them,
like a wednesday in the middle of the week
If you hear that two people love you
remember…one of them is Saavedra
If you hear that only one person loves you
remember…he is Saavedra
And when you see no one else around you,
and you find out
that no one loves you anymore,
then you will know for certain
that… Saavedra is dead
— Guadalupe de Saavedra
I reeeeeeealllllly like this.
We used Mark Twain’s letter to his wife Olivia on the occasion of their marriage, omitting the date and name references:
This 4th of February will be the mightiest day in the history of our lives, the holiest, & the most generous toward us both — for it makes of two fractional lives a whole; it gives to two purposeless lives a work, & doubles the strength of each whereby to perform it; it gives to two questioning natures a reason for living, & something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, a new mystery to life; & Livy it will give a new revelation to love, a new depth to sorrow, a new impulse to worship. In that day the scales will fall from our eyes & we shall look upon a new world. Speed it!
Looking at it now, it’s got more religious-y than I remembered, but I still enjoy the sentiment. Good luck!
I read Wedding Ghazal a few months ago and I love it, but you know, ymmv.
ETA FIRST SUCCESSFUL EMBEDDED URL I WILL INTERNET ONE DAY I WILL!
Gosh I love ghazals, why aren’t there more of them. That one is fabulous. *rolls around in complicated formal poetry*
I did a search for “love poem books” and some of the ones listed on Amazon also list the poems contained within, which was very helpful to google! I found John Agard’s Nuptials that way. I really love the nature imagery, the non-religiousity in every way, and the gender-neutrality.
River, be their teacher,
that together they may turn
their future highs and lows
into one hopeful flow
Two opposite shores
feeding from a single source.
Mountain, be their milestone,
that hand in hand they rise above
familiarity’s worn tracks
into horizons of their own
Two separate footpaths
dreaming of a common peak.
Birdsong, be their mantra,
that down the frail aisles of their days,
their twilight hearts twitter morning
and their dreams prove branch enough.
This is so lovely! Thank you, saving for the future.
!!!
I’m not the one who started this thread, but I will be seriously considering this reading for my wedding next month. I’ve had the hardest time finding poetry that ticks those boxes you mention AND isn’t meant to be read by one half of the couple to the other.
I had that last problem – so many really lovely poems only talked about he or she from the perspective of the other. I thought it’d be weird to hear that from a random family member you know?? 😉
I’d love to know if you end up using it!
Because I needed some misandry (and some eighteenth century), I included a reading from “Vindication of the Rights of Women”
“The most holy band of society is friendship. It has been well said, by a shrewd satirist, “that rare as true love is, true friendship is still rarer.”. […]Love, the common passion, in which chance and sensation take place of choice and reason, is, in some degree, felt by the mass of mankind; This passion, naturally increased by suspense and difficulties, draws the mind out of its accustomed state, and exalts the affections; but the security of marriage, allowing the fever to subside, substitutes the calm tenderness of friendship, the confidence of respect, instead of blind admiration, and the sensual emotions of fondness. Friendship is a serious affection; the most sublime of all affections, because it is founded on principle, and cemented by time. The vain fears and fond jealousies, the winds which fan the flame of love, when judiciously or artfully tempered, are both incompatible with the tender confidence and sincere respect of friendship.”
At my sister’s wedding, I read and excerpt from The Little Prince, edited for length.
“I am a fox,” the fox said.
“Come and play with me,” proposed the little prince. “I am so unhappy.”
“I cannot play with you,” the fox said. “I am not tamed.”
“Ah! Please excuse me,” said the little prince.
But, after some thought, he added:
“What does that mean–‘tame’?”
“It is an act too often neglected,” said the fox. It means to establish ties.”
“‘To establish ties’?”
“Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . .But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . .” ”
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near–
“Ah,” said the fox, “I shall cry.”
“It is your own fault,” said the little prince. “I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . .”
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.
“But now you are going to cry!” said the little prince.
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.
“Then it has done you no good at all!”
“It has done me good,” said the fox, “because of the color of the wheat fields.” And then he added:
“Goodbye,” said the fox. “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
“What is essential is invisible to the eye,” the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”
“It is the time I have wasted for my rose–” said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.
“Men have forgotten this truth,” said the fox. “But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . .”
ugh I’m going to cry again. I just barely managed to not cry on everything at the ceremony.
We used The Little Prince, too, just the bit about what it means to be tamed.
And now I am also crying.
This is a strong contender. Thank you!
Excellent, I am glad you like it! I picked it partly because I wanted something that didn’t have a connotation about how finding your magical soulmate made for a love that lasts forever or something, but rather that you have to grow relationships, and that they are organic and respond to the energy they receive, and that they are special because your investment in them makes them so.
That has been a big element of what I’m looking for. I don’t want something that says “Before, I was incomplete, and now, I am a whole person.” We’re both big on the ideas that we complement, rather than complete each other, and that relationships are really about putting in the work to be a good partner to someone you care about.
We had three readings, which all emphasized that idea of complementing rather than completing: a similar passage from the Little Prince, an excerpt from Khalil Gibran’s “The Prophet” (which is something of a wedding stereotype, but which really spoke to us), and this e.e. cummings poem, which to this day can still bring tear to my eye:
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
My brother and his wife had a friend read Carl Sagan’s “Little Blue Dot” piece. It was lovely.
Someone else read the text from this Calvin and Hobbes strip: http://files.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/20…
We had this poem read: http://www.taylormali.com/poems-online/how-fallin…
It was great – totally suited us, and got some good laughs to boot!
If you are up for silly, some friends of mine read some Ogden Nash at their wedding that was pretty fun.
I stole a bit of wedding advice from “the Rev for Whatev” of Chicago. She was amazing in my friend’s service, and I felt like it was important to have her words about “bestowing the same courtesies and kindnesses to your spouse as you do to your friends” when I got married. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZiRYUNyPK0
(Rev, if you’re reading, sorry! I got married on a short schedule/tight budget and couldn’t fly you out here!)
We had “A Lovely Love Story” by Edward Monkton, it’s about dinosaurs! The sentiment is basically loving a person for who they are, and accepting them with all their quirks!
Also, my favorite food is duck in basically any form. I am here for the duck.
My local grocer (locally owned, even, they’re awesome) had whole ducks on sale last year for $2/lb. I bought a dozen of them. Thank god for chest freezers.
I am definitely picking up duck on my way home tonight.
You can’t ‘ave ze duck. You can ‘ave ze chicken.
I will have you know that MY credit rating is spectacular.
But where do you summer?
You wouldn’t have heard of it. It’s a special country that only rich people know about.
Peking duck I live for. My mom ate a lot when she was pregnant with me.
last week for lunar new year my mom and I decided to go out for dinner last minute. the restaurant wouldn’t do half orders of peking duck so we ordered a whole peking duck between the two of us, and nothing else.
DUCK. Oh yes, duck.
Tonight there might be duck fat french fries, depending on how self-indulgent we are feeling… we ought to save money, but if we’re going to the gastropub downtown for a beer anyway, why not duck fat fries too?
Oh man, I mentioned this upthread but it bears repeating here: my dude and I made duck fat caramel corn recently and it was a thing of beauty. (Also, the duck breast from whence came the fat was a stunner, and the finest one I’ve cooked yet.)
Me too! I will always order the duck and have since I first tried duck at maybe six or seven. Whenever I go to a restaurant with my family and there’s duck on the menu, my mom will always say “well I know what tragicallyludicrous is having.” Usually she’s right! (Well, sometimes I might get lamb.)
YES. I had duck for thankgiving, it was a far better choice then turkey ever could be
OH GOSH so the other night Mr Pamplemoussi and I had both had just TERRIBLE days so I made a total comfort food dinner of mashed potatoes, veg gravy and kale. I sautéed the kale in butter and crushed garlic and seasoned with black pepper, red pepper flakes and a big pinch of salt, and then I let the kale cook kind of slowly over medium-low heat so they parts of it got as crispy as kale chips. SO GOOD.
(posting this reminds me that I have a food blog which has been sitting abandoned for the month. Sigh. Stupid February)
THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD. I did this the other night with red Swiss chard. I thought it would be good. I was not expecting it to be the best thing I’d eaten all month.
Eff this week and eff next week too.
Couple more weeks till I can transition out of Horrible Job, which is a good thing. Spouse has made it clear it is starting to have an impact on our relationship. I’m having a hard time being present between fearing/worrying that my boss is emailing/texting me right this instant with some catastrophe of his own making, dreading future events and activities, or just generally being too exhausted to really participate in life.
I just want to go back to being an openly queer atheist and not have to censor myself constantly.
In related news: am up to 10mg/day (day 3 of 5mg twice daily) of buspar and I am SO DIZZY and still anxious. Please tell me it gets better.
You can do it! Today is my last day at HJ as well, and I shall spend it commenting on The Toast and supporting my fellow peeps.
Good luck.
Ottawa toasts! I moved here from the west coast six months ago and I’ve made a couple friends, but I work from home and don’t get out much. Would any of you be interested in a wee meetup at some point, now that the winter must break any day now?
Hi! I’m in Ottawa and have been doing my best to hibernate for the past few months, but I’d be interested in a meetup. What’s the best way to organize?
I have chosen a random Saturday when I am definitely in town, and then copypasta’d the same messages unoriginally to all replies so far for maximum inefficiency. How is March 14? I like coffee most. BUT I COULD EAT FOOD ALSO.
meetup! meeeeetup!
but alas! … i’m out of town that weekend 🙁
HOWEVER. i will absolutely be there in spirit, drinking my coffee from my gold-plated MALE TEARS mug because #keepinitclassy.
We have changed it to the 21st! Did you see? It seems to work for everyone else so far, tentatively, BUT if you still cannot make it, we will surely have another one!
INTENSEDEBATE IS CONSPIRING AGAINST MEEEEEE.
(i replied above! … or below. somewhere. i swear.)
the 21st works for me 🙂
YES PLEASE I may or may not be desperate for friends because even though I have been living here for almost 4 years I am socially inept and know like, 3 people, one of whom I’m married to.
Edited to add that I am not quite as off-putting in person as this comment might make it seem!
Noooo good! Good. Enthusiasm is good. I’m so glad. I have chosen a random Saturday when I am definitely in town. How is March 14? I like coffee most.
I’m not sure because my parents might be visiting then to see my Tiny Nephew, but I’ll keep you posted! My email is arbors.and.ardors at gmail if you want/need to reach me. I like coffee most too.
How is the 21st for you instead? Other votes for not-the-14th makes it clearly not the best weekend! I’m in town three of every four weekends so flexibility is a-ok with me.
The 21st would work for me (but not either of the two weekends before). I’m at britta_unfiltered at yahoo dot ca.
Perfect!! 21st works well for everyone, so 21st it is!
I AM TOTALLY JUMPING ON THIS O-TOWN BANDWAGON OH YESSSSS.
the 21st would be delightful!
Hooray!!! Excellent! We’ll be in touch over the next couple weeks to pick a location & time!
I am nearly an Ottawa Toastie (moving in a few months, fiiiiiinally) and I am there frequently! I would definitely come out for a meetup!
I’m so glad!!!! I have chosen a random Saturday when I am definitely in town. How is March 14? I like coffee most.
Not totally out of the question, but the week after (or before) would definitely be better for me. (I’m for sure going to be in town the next weekend. I live in Montreal, and typically alternate weekends with my Ottawa-dwelling gentleman friend.)
That’s so funny, I have a Montreal-dwelling gentleman friend. I will definitely be in Montreal next weekend, so I can’t do that! But the 21st is equally easy for me. Let’s try for the 21st then. I know how annoying that commute is to do two weeks in a row, especially in winter. :/
It is a super common thing here! I know tons of people (all anglos, most of them from elsewhere originally) who’ve done the Ottawa-Montreal relationship thing. We’ve been doing it for four years, and I am SO READY to be done with it.
That’s so interesting and reassuring! We’ve been at it for 5 months and have been talking about changing the situation in the fall but I’m not sure I’d find work in QC and he’s really happy where he is, so it’s good to hear people have managed it for so long, however tiring it is. I’m glad there’s an end to the madness for you!
MOST OF A ROAST DUCK!!!!
<3_<3
I’ll also open the cat thread with this terrific action picture of Calvin and Hobbes having a brotherly spat.
Tiny fluffy paws:
With toe beans! I am a slave to toe beans.
His sister has half-pink, half-black jellybeans on one foot, and it’s the best thing ever.
IT IS.
😀 !! <3
Beans are my favorite.
Kismet has been avoiding winter (cold but not that bad, we live in south TX…. she’s a drama queen) by curling up with all of her pillows. She loves pillows so much that I have tons of cat-sized throw pillows in my living room, many of them on her chair/bed.
This is a great photo!
Hahaha that face!
I got back from a work trip over the weekend and didn’t finish unpacking fast enough.
That’s what happens basically the second a suitcase emerges from our closet here, so I’d say the fact you managed to empty that side before it was colonized means you are pretty fast at unpacking!
Don’t be too impressed — that side had only dirty clothes in it, so I just grabbed all of it at once and threw it into the laundry.
Patrick would still have managed to colonize in that time.
That is a great pic! I have fatboy stopping knocking my lip balm off the table when it was halfway off after i asked him to
and Saffron having tummy tickles
Moxie is maybe (maybe) becoming more accepting of the existence of snow. Here is him looking like a majestic snow cat:
And here is him venturing to even put his paws on a surface that has not been shoveled clean for him!
But what of his star-crossed romance with local ungulates?
I’m not entirely sure. I haven’t seen the moose around for a while 🙁 but a couple of the deer have been sleeping a few houses down a couple of mornings this week and Moxie keeps waking us up by chatting to things out the window in the middle of the night, so maybe they’ve been visiting!
Cross-species gossip circles FTW!
I am so glad it wasn’t just me who wanted to know.
Enormously fluffy kitties in snow are my biggest weakness.
This has been Patrick all week:
finally now Eve has given up:
Dog: 1/2 Cat: 10000000
Dolly was a very comforting presence through the Parks & Rec finale:
I didn’t take “my” cats with me when I moved out of my parents’ house, so now they only see me once a week when I visit my parents. Ari is BEYOND ecstatic when he finally gets to see me, and spends hours trying to snuggle as close to me as physically possible.
Oh man oh man I can almost hear the purring. Snug that cat extra hard next time you see him.
That cat loves you a lot!
Klaas-Jan had a good snooze on me yesterday.
Tummy of the week!
Fluffy tummy!
He has a very fluffy belly for all he’s a shorthair. Very nice soft cat all around.
The sad face of ‘nip addiction
I’m craving Minnesota style hotdishes right now: tater tot hotdish, with plenty of cheese. This goes against my “Tortoise Diet”.
But I’ve been in a depression, and my Tortoise Diet has gone out the window. I’m just coming back from the abyss, and yesterday was my first day back ON the diet. Today will be the first time I’ve exercised in 7 days.
Luckily I haven’t gained any weight back. The Lifestyle Change has to be about persistance and not about consistency, though. I can’t fight my bipolar moods, but I can try to mitigate the damage that a depression can cause.
My new goal is to get down to 280 pounds, and to continue with the weight lifting and diet; and to not beat myself up too much about what happens during my depressions. Wish me luck.
Good luck! I think consistency is such a great goal – one of my friends just tells me to “make the next good decision”. It really helps when I feel like I’ve messed up and should just give up and let myself be a failure. My next decision can be good. My next decision can be the right one. It’s okay to slip up.
Jedi hugs and tons of support.
“Make the next good decision” is going on my Affirmations board. Thank you for sharing that with me.
Wishing you ALL the luck!
Oh! What is “hotdishes”?
A hotdish is a casserole, but in Minnesota. They usually have tater tots on top.
hahaha, midwesterners, what a strange and mysterious people
Eating Well has a fabulous health-ified version of the tater tot hot dish that is amazing beyond words. It’s more complicated that the traditional dump and bake hot dishes, but it is so worth it. It also uses frozen hash browns instead of tots, but it’s just as good if not better than any traditional hotdish I’ve ever had.
Ooooh, looked it up. It gives the secret ingredients and looks really tasty.
Sounds like you’re doing exceptionally well in tough circumstances. Treating it like meditation, where coming back to the mat when you can is sometimes all you can do, is sound strategy. And I, too, wish to hear more about hotdishes, as they are news to me and sound delicious.
I’m always sort of scared and vulnerable coming out of a depression, which is why I posted today. The people on the Toast have such good philosophy to share and it all makes me feel like a real person again.
Seriously, though, it sounds like you’re doing great. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. You’re just coming back from the abyss, sure, but hey, you came back and that’s what matters!
I got 6 pounds of Jonathan apples for $3 earlier this week! Jonathans are delicious, but I think Iäm going to need to cook or bake with them in order to get through them all before they go soft. I will be visiting a good friend this weekend, and would like to make some sort of apple bread-cake-pastry to share with her. Any suggestions?
Smitten kitchen’s Mom’s Apple Cake is excellent, and easy! Mmmmm…..hungry.
I think this is my typical bourbon apple cake recipe– nothing like a good bourbon apple cake!
And if you still have leftover apples and are sick of baked goods, this is a nice salad concept that can be tweaked quite a bit to your tastes, but there’s something really excellent and filling about the farro-apple-cheese-nut formula.
Tarte Tatin! Basically an upside down cake but with puff pastry instead of cake.
Tarte tatin!
To use up at least three of your apples I’m a big fan of Dorie Greenspan’s Custardy Apple Squares. You probably already have all of the ingredients too. Also it’s delicious, only uses two bowls and you cannot f* it up. https://food52.com/recipes/33028-dorie-greenspan-…
I am obsessed with this apple fritter loaf (you can make it in a cake tin as well if you don’t have a loaf tin – (I’m actually going to put it into cupcake moulds this weekend and frost it with salted caramel buttercream)) – I’ve made it three times in the last two months, it’s amazing. http://rumblytumbly.com/2013/09/03/apple-fritter-…
I love to slice apples up and saute with a little (just a little) butter, honey and cinnamon and top everything with it. It’s great mixed into a loaf of enriched bread or bread pudding, on top of oatmeal/waffles/pancakes/french toast for breakfast, with granola and ice cream for dessert, or even just out of the bowl. I keep it in the freezer for later too. I love apples
Upside-down Apple Gingerbread cake
IT IS SO EASY, and sticky and wintery.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/01/magazine/01food…
It’s a warm and beautiful spring on the west coast, so I don’t need keepin’-warm food. On the hand, I’m in a crazy sauerkraut phase. Like just… a bowl of sauerkraut, please.
Have you made kraut? It’s super easy! Cabbage, salt, and time. http://www.wildfermentation.com/making-sauerkraut…
Fermentation is awesome.
I have, but I’m lucky enough that both my brother and my mom are both crazy about fermenting and very generous. Free homemade kraut for me!
I have cabbage turning into sauerkraut in my kitchen right now, and the wait is killing me. I want it now!
Gimme all the kraut in this world. And all the kimchi. And all the pickles. ALL OF IT
Yet another reason I like you so much.
But wait, as much as I like you, I’m not sharing my vinegary treasures. Get your own.
My favorite food is bleu or white cheese.
(I’m sorry.)
(I’m not sorry.)
(yo but bleu cheese is so good tho)
IDK, I mean, the cheese looks white to me.
BLEU CHEESE IS MY FAVORITE. I will eat the stinkiest smelliest moldiest gorgonzola/stilton/straight up bleu you throw at me and savor every bite. I also throw it into mac and cheese!
Real talk, my mom never cooked a day in her life prior to my moving away to college and then she started experimenting with mac and cheese, I assume to fill her unoccupied hours where I was not being a teenage harpy in her general direction, and my life has never been the same.
I love it on pizza! Really, anywhere it can be next to a stinky roasted garlic and IDEALLY a caramelized onion.
on PIZZA I have never tried this but it sounds awesome!!!
Oh man, on crackers with some strawberry jam? So good.
Blue-and-black cheese or white-and-gold cheese?
I was never a huge fan of bleu/blue cheese because I found it mostly too pungent, but I hated to think there was a cheese I didn’t like so I’ve been forcing myself to acquire a taste for it and it’s working! There’s a lot of recipes I like bleu cheese IN and I’ve even found some I enjoy on their own (Point Reyes Blue is dang tasty. A good “starters” bleu.)
I found a promo code for Peapod and seltzer is on sale this week so I am ordering 41 CASES OF SELTZER to be delivered to my apartment. THAT’S 738 POUNDS OF SELTZER. I’M SO EXCITED.
that is amazing and I hope 41 cases is enough for a fort, or at least a piece of seltzer furniture.
SELTZER THRONE
SELTZER OTTOMAN
SELTZER CHAISE
THAT IS AMAZING. I go through a liter of lime seltzer pretty much daily.
My roommate and I go through a 12-pack in A DAY AND A HALF so this should last us a little over two months.
I HAVE SUCH A PROBLEM. I drink hardly anything else non-alcoholic, including regular water.
MrChouffe and I can do that easily. We spend an appalling amount of money on fizzy water.
With the sale and the delivery fee and my promo code and a tip for the driver, this came out to a little over $2.50 a case, which is not the best but an improvement from my daily habit of buying a Schwepps seltzer for $1.94 before work every day (and then needing more when I got home from work).
gods be with you. I hope you have a few bottles of Campari around for all that soda?
So when is the party and what should I wear? And what’s the promo code because I’m a seltzer fiend.
The party is always and the promo code is MTROF2015 but I think only works for metro D.C. 🙁
and you should obviously wear a dress constructed from cardboard seltzer boxes
dear god this is PERFECT i love seltzer so much and this is my favorite comment that has ever been
Good lord where do you put it all?? (Says the apartment-dwelling New Yorker.)
Really I am just jealous and will now go back to my sad little SodaStream.
I am fortunate enough to have a reasonably-sized apartment with a way bigger closet than I need!
738 pounds of seltzer, good gravy. My new housemate has a Sodastream and I got to hear it bubblifying the water for the first time the other night. Turbo whoopee cushion, which appealed to my juvenile giggle reflex. I’m not a big bubbler myself, but it’s a pretty neat appliance.
Sodastream! I LOVE mine with an unhealthy passion. I think the one I bought was ~ $100, which is a not insignificant chunk of change, but it’s been worth it. The cartridge refills cost $16 and last us 6 weeks (and my roommate and I drink a LOT of the stuff) and it saves us having to lug bottles home and find a place to store them (city living – no cars, tiny closets).
One of the things I love about living in Boston is constantly ordering bottles of seltzer via Google Express. It shows up the same day on my doorstep and I LOVE IT I LOVE IT
INCREDIBLE, INCREDIBLE, INCREDIBLE.
Seltzer is so addictive, what the hell! I basically have to stay away from it except at restaurants because if I start, I will not stop.
I’m very okay with my life choices.
As someone who brought two cans of Polar seltzer to work with her and wishes she had brought more, I salute you.
are you my brother because I was unaware people other than my brother could drink that much seltzer.
Tomorrow my husband and I are hosting friends for dinner. We’re making spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread and salad, and we’re making all of it from scratch. Well, we aren’t baking bread, but we’re making the noodles and grinding the meat for the meatballs and mixing the salad dressing and everything. It’s going to be delicious.
And then we’re going to play True American, because we are adults.
This is a recipe for a perfect evening.
Have you played True American before? Is it just a lot of drinking and jumping on furniture and yelling or are there actual rules? Either way, it always looks the funnest game ever on New Girl and I’m sure it’ll be amazing.
I have not. Two of the people coming to dinner have played, and they have promised to teach us. I’m really excited. And if it just devolves into an alcoholic version of Calvinball, I’m cool with that, too.
Please provide follow-up on the experience of playing True American. I am incredibly jealous and curious.
I had Indian food last night and it was so damn good. The naan was the butteriest, garlicky-est naan I’ve ever seen.
Bread is amazing, I love so many kinds of bread.
Let’s talk about bread. I had some really unreal jalapeno cornbread on Wednesday and it elevated my whole week.
I love bread. I will never give up bread. I want to try making some pan cubano so we can have authentic Cuban sandwiches.
i love bread.
sometimes nothing makes me more happy than walking past the bakery on my way home, getting a mini baguette (a “petit pain”!) studded with kalamata olives, and just devouring it on the rest of my walk home.
or bread, toasted with salty butter. toasted with cinnamon sugar on top. toasted!
or bread, the crusty heel (or “the butt,” as i like to call it) all crunchy and delicious.
or bread, a dark, rich, studded with nuts and seeds bread, still warm and steamy from the oven.
bread!
The heel of the bread is the very best part. Every time I’m around some crusty bread I’m elbowing my way to the front like “I need that end slice, give it to me”
yes! i’m the same. my friends have heard me say, “i want the butt! gimme the butt!” enough times that they’ll usually just hand it over with a sly, “i have a butt for you,” haha.
Man cannot live on bread alone, but add butter and I’d get pretty close
You speak wisdom.
I am exhausted with my work today but this weekend should be amazing! Friend dinner! Natural history museum! Friend movie! Second piercings in my ears! Sourdough bread from my new sourdough starter! I just have to get through this day and stop freaking out. What do you do to deal with anxiety? I tend to just relisten to podcasts and songs over and over again (looking at you, Night Vale, particularly “A Story About Them”, also looking at you, Sufjan).
My recommendations are Doctor Who and I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue. And maybe crossword puzzles? I hope that helps.
How could suggestions from Harriet Vane not help??? (If I hadn’t just reread Gaudy Night I would be rereading it to help with my anxiety, no joke.)
I have a bunch of old episodes of ISIHAC, I could definitely listen to those, or old News Quizzes with Linda Smith. Crossword puzzles also sound fun!
I love the News Quiz, although I’ve never found older ones. Two years ago I went to a recording and it was fantastic.
It’s funny, Sayers doesn’t really help with anxiety for me, but Christie does, because her books are so structured and ordered. Also, the American version of the Harry Potter audiobook, listened to while on a long walk, can work wonders, but I feel like that’s a long-term strategy.
There’s a channel on TuneIn radio that only plays reruns of Just a Minute. It’s my go-to stress reliever. I usually listen to it at night when the bad thought cycle keeps me up to help me sleep. I really need to send Nicholas Parson’s a thank you letter.
I also go for very repetitive activities when I’m anxious. Re-reading books, watching episodes of How I Met Your Mother that I’ve seen a dozen times. I don’t know if this is an option where you live, but weirdly, I’ve found jumping rope to be a calming activity. Exercise endorphins + very familiar and repetitive action chills me out.
I’ve also been listening to Jim Dale’s narration of “The Night Circus” every night to fall asleep (the Audible app has a “sleep timer” function that will stop the audio after a set amount of time). It’s wonderfully soothing. I’m listening to it for the third time and I’ve never fallen asleep so quickly.
I have been craving salt something awful in this winter slump, but I’ve been making some tasty meals out of that craving. Mexican-restaurant-style rice and chipotle black beans. Feta and miso lentils with sage, garlic and milk poached sweet potatoes. Vegetarian, no real recipes, great meals, great leftovers for lunch.
I made it through this week in something of a tense haze. I got to Friday but I feel kind of unwell about it, like maybe I did something on the way here that wasn’t right. Please tell me your wonderful weekend plans to distract me from this odd feeling! Dates? Family time? Self-care?
Yum, your meals sound great. I recently bought a kilogram of miso and am wondering what to do with it all. I’ve been doing a lot of fried rice with miso/soy sauce/peanut butter stirred in at the last minute.
I feel you– I made a huge mistake last week and I’m still feeling fragile about it. Everything will be okay, but it doesn’t feel okay right now. Also in general, the entire month of February is unfit for human life. Here’s to feeling better in March.
Tomorrow I’m volunteering at the ER, then going on a double date with my husband, our longtime friend and his new girlfriend. Then on Sunday I’m going to a meditation workshop and getting bagels after.
I’m going down to Ghent with my friends to visit another friend we haven’t seen in a while! (She moved to Stockholm, but will be in Ghent, about two hours drive from us in Utrecht, for a few months.) So we’re going to spend the weekend there and also celebrate our other friend’s birthday.
I haven’t been back to Belgium in years and years, but I remember really liking Ghent. When I lived there (1997, omg am old) Bruges was a big deal for tourism, but I thought Ghent had all the good stuff of Bruges but without the touristicness. I hope you have fun!
I have a question about a specific Belgian news story. Have you heard of the story of Bénédicte van de Sande and Dipika? If so I would love to hear about how this is being presented in the European media. You can email me at lauren at my username dot com.
Fooooooooood. I am just getting ready to go eat lunch, which will probably be microwave burritos at my apartment since payday is NEXT week, but who cares since they’re delicious anyway.
I’m mad because I want to share some pictures of my Queen Beryl cosplay but I can’t pull them off of Twitter so I will have to link you guys instead: https://twitter.com/elyseexplosion/status/5708071…
Nice! Man, cosplay looks like fun…
Today will be spent struggling to finish setting up Link+ in my library. I am so annoyed with the company. Their idea of documentation for tech setup people is lololol
But hey other than that, rad day. Made soup last night with roasted veggies– added miso ginger broth and blended the shit out of it. Leftovers for lunch! And pizza!
If you would be open to curious Link+ user questions (not ‘how do I X?’ questions but ‘How does this work on the back end and where does the money come from?’ questions) boy do we have a lot for you. We are die-hard Link+ users!
Also yay I hope this means another library in the system, although I guess Link+ might be something which is not just california/nevada local.
WELL.
It only works for a certain type of catalog. What it basically does is turns all the member library’s individual catalogs into ONE GINORMOUS CATALOG and then lets everyone borrow from it. Another way to think of it is, it sits on top of everyone’s catalog and hands books back and forth between libraries/patrons. It’s pretty much the same as traditional inter-library-loan, except much friendlier since it lets the catalogs talk directly to each other.
The money comes from our normal operating budget; I think the idea is to use collections and inter-library loan moneys for it. I could go into more detail here about why libraries decide to buy or not buy something, but if you want more on that then you can email me dangerflakes at hotmail 🙂
Foooood! Yay! My partner consistently makes fun of me for my Wawa order: junior hoagie with provolone cheese, mustard, mayo, tomato, and pepper. He thinks it’s “unusual” or “gross” or “a revolting combination of ingredients” but no! IT’S THE PERFECT SANDWICH!!
<3 wawa tho <3
Maybe I will go there for lunch today instead? I mean, it’s walking distance from my office…
YES! This is what I put on my sandwich with added lettuce. Mayo, mustard, lettuce, and tomato are the perfect orgy of toppings for most of my meat sandwiches
I miss Wawa so much. I live in New Mexico and there is nothing that is remotely like it down here. Also, there is no wrong order at a Wawa.
I miss it tooooo! I live too north of Wawa territory these days, so now it’s a tradition to go there as much as possible whenever I’m home.
Going to Wawa is the first thing I do whenever I go back to Jersey to visit relatives. Even before I go to my grandmother’s house–even if she has made us dinner–we go to Wawa for hoagies and Herr’s potato chips.
Any combo of mayo, cheese, and tomato is food of the gods. In this matter, your partner knows nothing. Though I’m sure he’s otherwise delightful.
+1 for Wawa! I got my mom into adding pickles to hoagies. (I also always do parmesan to bulk up the cheese content!)
Oh my god your food photography is always amazing and makes me cry salty tears into my be-tupperwared work lunches.
I haven’t baked recently, but I’ve been meaning to make molasses cookies. I even bought molasses! But the thought of cleaning bowls has been wearing me down unusually much this winter. My dad says black strap molasses has health benefits, though, so I could totally write the cookies off as superfood.
I never really realized how big the US was until I went to Europe where all the countries are all tiny and close together. I’m on my second year abroad now (one for school and now teaching English) and I haven’t really taken much advantage yet of how easy it is to travel here. I’m planning to do more traveling around this summer and/or next while I’m still over here.
Here’s my dilemma: I’m terrible at making friends with strangers and I’d be traveling alone. I’d say it’s about half not wanting to talk to strangers and half being too afraid. But I want to make friends! I think traveling will be more fun if I can meet people. Any suggestions for how to meet people when you’re traveling? Hostels seem like such social places for everyone but me. Has anyone used Couchsurfing before to meet up with people in new cities? How do you know who’s cool and who’s a rapist/murderer?
I’m shy-ish and I LOVE travelling alone! I find hostels can be really hit and miss – sometimes I can just be like ‘I’M GOING TO DO THIS’ and take a deep breath and just walk up to a group of people, and other times I sit in the corner and read by myself. I’ve found the free walking tours that most big-ish Euro cities do to be great places to meet other solo travellers! Walking around the city together for a few hours is conducive to casual chatting.
Have you given hostels a try before writing them off? Different hostels give you different experiences. I stayed in one hostel in Dingle, Ireland that is reputed to be the most social, ever, but when I got there, it seemed like everybody knew each other and nobody wanted to talk to me or let me into their conversations, so I slipped away to bed at like 9. But in smaller hostels, I’ve met people to hang out with for the day or even to jump cities with, it just depends.
Other places I’ve met people (mainly, but not all Americans) abroad: watching a Flamenco dance, sitting in an outdoor cafe waiting for a bus (ended up travelling to another city with a pair of brothers, who turned out to be really annoying), on the train in the morning after an overnight trip, on a 2-hour sightseeing tour. Backpackers are generally friendly. This was in the days before Couch surfing, tho. I don’t know how to tell who’s a rapist/murderer, but generally I would avoid situations where I’m the only woman.
Yeah, hostels can be really different. In the same trip to Ireland, I stayed in a hostel in Derry where I ended up going out all night with an Israeli guy and two Spaniards and having my very first legally-purchased pint (I was 20), and then another hostel in Dublin where it was quiet and concrete and scary and I mostly just wandered the streets instead of having to be in the hostel. I’m also quite shy, so the first night was unusual and fabulous for me. And I really love traveling alone even though I also love meeting new people.
I also would suggest tourist-centric cooking classes! It’s usually a small-ish group where no one has anything better to do than chat to each other and drink a lot of wine, and there would probably be people whose travel schedules/interests overlap with yours. I did a great one in Barcelona and a (larger, therefore less social) one in New Orleans.
Tourist cooking classes sound very interesting. How did you find them?
I think most cities that have any kind of local specialized cuisine will have them. I just googled “Barcelona cooking class” right now and got like five different companies. They’ll have TripAdvisor reviews and so forth. If this is relevant for where you’re going, I would check to see if any of the ones you’re considering have market tours involved, as it was also pretty cool to get a local’s perspective on how to shop at the huge markets.
Also, part of your initial post that I missed – I haven’t done Couchsurfing specifically, but I’ve done a ton of AirBnB and had nothing but great experiences. The review system is really trustworthy. I haven’t, like, made lasting friendships from it, but it’s been nice to chat with locals and a lot of the hosts are willing to show you their favorite restaurants, etc.
I’ve stayed at hostels before and it’ll definitely be what I stay at whenever I get to travel, just based on the price. It just always seems like everyone is so much better at making friends there than I am and it would be really nice to figure out how to make myself start talking and making friends.
The one person I know who uses Couchsurfing a lot is a Man. He said it’s safe and worrying about being murdered/raped is a very American thing to worry about (he’s Scottish). I told him it wasn’t an American concern but a female concern. Lucky for him he did not argue against that.
Yeah, the rapists don’t seem to care if you’re American or what. http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/feb/06/ital…
I am definitely a reserved/not super social person, but I had a great experience at a smaller hostel. I also stayed for a week, which was enough time to kind of gather people snowball-style. I ended up sightseeing with 2 people on the first day, then 4, and ended up going bar-hopping with 10 people on my last day in town. It was totally out of character for me, but also very fun and probably something I’ll never get the chance to do again.
7 years ago I was backpacking through Spain, met this really nice American guy, and proceeded to knock boots with him behind a hedge in a park. We’re still good friends and talk almost daily. I’m not necessarily advocating outright banging people to make friends, but you never know what will happen in life!
That’s another reason I want to get better at meeting strangers: What’s the point of European traveling if you can’t meet some new people to have sex with?
I highly recommend couchsurfing! I have stayed with maybe 30-40 people and met up with many for coffee/drinks/a walk. Never had any bad experiences, but my best experiences came after I became more selective as to who to write. My advice is to read the profiles, I think the way people write about themselves can tell you a lot. As for security, read the references for other users, and if you’re feeling insecure avoid new users with few references.
have fun! 🙂
Thanks for the advice! I think I’d stick to just meeting up with people and sleeping at hostels. For meeting up, how do you approach people? Just read their profiles and send a message asking if they want to chat and then maybe meet up when you’re in town? It all feels so much like Okcupid. Except on Okcupid I was only messaging men, so maybe I’ll have a better chance at decent messages if I message some women to meet up to hang out.
I always simply wrote that I am coming to their town and would love to meet up, and made sure to mention something from their profile that we had in common(usually favorite music/books). After hosting a few guests who were only interested in a free bed, I always only met/hosted people who had read my profile and didn’t send obvious copy/paste messages.
“only interested in a free bed”: Still sounds just like Okcupid!
There’s a major city a couple of hours from me, so I’m going to try to get myself to use that as my Couchsurfing practice city on at least a couple of weekends. If it works out well, maybe I’ll make some new friends who are kind of close by. If it doesn’t, at least I’ll have practiced asking strangers to meet up with me.
As someone who used to teach self-defense, the #1 way to discover if someone is cool vs. potentially dangerous is to see how they respect your (reasonable) boundaries. So if you get to talk to them in advance, that is the real tip off; if they push your boundaries about little things they are a lot more likely to be a threat.
I’ve stayed in many a hostel in my day. I think the ones that are most conducive to socializing tend to have an in-house bar and/or a common kitchen.
One of the best ways I found to meet people while traveling is to take a backpacker’s tour. There are a bunch of companies that run them and you can do and entire week or 2 trip with them but you can also just do a day or two. There are a lot of single travelers even on the short trips and folks who do these trips rather than going it alone are generally looking to be friendly and socialize. The short trips are great if you want to see something outside a city and don’t want to arrange transportation.
Tours seem to be a popular suggestion! I have no plans yet, but when I do start to make them I’ll have to make sure to include some tours that might appeal to other solo travelers in my age range.
I realized the bigness of the US when I moved to the Netherlands, which is a teeny little shoebox country. The distances I think are normal baffle the Dutch. But it does mean traveling around is easy!
I also would recommend couchsurfing. I didn’t do it as much as ms_whatwhat, but had some pretty neat experiences. The only stay I regret was when I was exhausted and should have just got a hotel room and slept for 2 days, but that wasn’t his fault. It’s a great way of meeting people and getting local tips.
My family is part of a program called Servas, which was sort of the pre-internet, anti-war precursor to couchsurfing. (It was started with the idea people around the world getting to know each other could further world peace.) You sign up, get interviewed (to make sure you’re mostly normal), and then when you want to travel, you rent a booklet for the area with brief profiles of all the hosts (what languages they speak, their interests/jobs, how long they host people for). You can also be or contact day hosts, which are people who will meet up with you to show you around or just get a drink.
My family has stayed with and hosted awesome people from around the world through Servas. I met one of my best friends in France when she stayed with my family in America through the program, and she’s been an immeasurable addition to my life. I eventually moved to France for a while, and because I knew her, I had local friends and a support system waiting for me. My parents stayed with an older woman through Servas when they visited me, and she ended up being a lovely friend and resource for me after they left.
While you might want to travel ‘off the beaten track’ etc, I find that the best way to make friends when travelling alone is to go to one of the highly-rated cheap hostels in Lonely Planet Guide and then turn up with at least two cheap bottles of wine. Offer said wine to everyone. Always works a treat!
Seconding the Couchsurfing recommendation! I have used it both to travel and to host people in various bits of the world and have never had a bad experience, in part because the profiles and references make it easy to filter who you feel comfortable meeting. I also made lots of good friends in my home city by going to Couchsurfing meetups, so you might want to have a look at the group/event pages for the cities you’re visiting and see if anyone is planning something that appeals to you.
Seconding/tripling the Couchsurfing recommendation. Best way to get out of your bubble and realize that “normal” for you isn’t “normal” for everyone else in the world, and make new friends, learn new recipes, etc while you’re at it!
Hello Toast. At work, we held a conference last weekend, we are holding a conference right now, and we will hold a conference next weekend. This is terrible. I am exhausted. I need to go get a wig styled for a cosplay tomorrow but I can already tell you that the only things I’ll want to get out of bed for are (a) tea and (b) video games.
Petition for everything to stop.
Wig styling prayer circle. I have a 5′ wig for my current project and it just…won’t cooperate. At all.
Plz to be feeling better!
Prayer circle! It sounds like you’re doing the styling on your own? Good luck! I do not even know where to begin, so I am public transit-ing myself across town to have someone do it.
My younger sister is our wig goddess – I don’t know how she does it, but anything she touches turns to gold. The hair on this one is so brittle and dry, I think we’re going to have to soak it in fabric softener and boil it again. I am NOT looking forward to this.
What are you working on, if you don’t mind my asking? 🙂
That sounds very stressful. Best of luck. @_@
I’m working on a Medusa Gorgon cosplay! Many a blonde wig exist for her, but I was blonde last year. Halfway through the manga she gets herself a new body with black hair, so I’ve got myself a long black wig that will soon be long only in the front.
food…mostly i really just like breakfast foods. crispy fried eggs, or scrambled, or really eggs any which way, good toast, potatoes, hot coffee, good freshly squeezed fruit juice or a smoothie even, granola, hot buttermilk biscuits, maybe a few-days-old piece of banana bread toasted with butter in a pan. somehow, food for breakfast always wins. honestly, i think i might like pizza even more when it’s a cold leftover slice eaten out of the fridge for breakfast.
Breakfast food is truly the queen. Lately, I’m feeling breakfast sandwiches with avocado, a sunny-side-up egg, and bacon on a bagel. Which is maybe buttered. HI
I will always, always, always, always love eggs. So much. They’re perfect.
NOW I’M SO HUNGRY GAHH!!!
Also pretty cheap. I eat a lot of eggs for this reason.
I concurr. breakfast pizza is the best pizza
Wait, crispy fried eggs like the perfect egg from Smitten Kitchen? If not, why not because it is the best egg, it literally goes on ANYTHING and it is supremely amazing
yessss. i think it was actually you who commented with this link before and it is a treasure.
cripsy fried eggs on toast, on salads, on sauteed veggies, on everythingggg.
It probably was. as I have become a Crispy Egg Evangelist of late. CRISPY EGGS FOR ALL.
Anyone want to talk skincare routines? What do you Toasties do to your faces? I used to have a complexion like an oil spill and then Accutane dried it up, which is great, but 2 years later I’m still trying to figure out what will work for me. And this brutal winter has made me all red and flaky.
I did have an unexpected victory with this really simple vitamin C serum I concocted at home. I’ve only been using it for a week but it’s gotten rid of most of the redness. I look like I do when I’m wearing foundation, but I’m not. The only downside is that I’m even more distracted by shiny objects because I keep stopping to check out my reflection and marvel at my smooth alabaster brow.
How did you make said serum? It sounds right up my alley.
1 tsp of vitamin C powder, 15 tsps of witch hazel water, and 4 tsps of vegetable glycerine. I wanted to start off with just 5% vitamin C so that it wouldn’t freak my sensitive skin out. Next time I’ll go with less glycerine, though – it’s making my face ever so slightly sticky to the touch.
This is amazing, thank you. I love home-made skin care stuff because I am allergic to so many common cosmetic additives. I really appreciate you sharing that! I’ve been wanting to try a Vitamin C serum for a while, but the ones that don’t have all the stuff I can’t have are $$$.
Aww, you’re welcome
I forgot to mention that it needs to be stored in a dark glass container since the vitamin C is very sensitive to light. It also degrades fairly quickly, so I plan to make a new batch every 2 weeks. I found this reddit thread to be very informative!
Crunchy Betty has a ton of recipes too (just a warning though — the most recent post may be triggering or disturbing for people, as she discusses what sounds like a serious mental illness episode in somewhat troubling language). That’s where I got the honey face wash idea!
Yay, thanks for posting this (I’m always on the lookout for good and easy facial recipes!).
Skincare! I have combo skin that swings from eczema to greaseball. When I’m dry, I slick it with argan oil or coconut oil. When I’m greasy, I use a light moisturizer, keep my hands off of it, and keep my make-up light.
I also have medium-ish skin (although the swings are not that extreme and are usually just to do with the weather) and coconut oil was way too greasy – I love a bit of Jojoba oil. My routine is: in morning wash face with water, apply oil, apply sunscreen; in evening apply oil, wash face with water. Sometimes I get my eyelashes tinted to compensate for the no-make-up thing. The ingredients in sunscreen rather squick me out, but I feel I absolutely have to do it otherwise I will be wrinkly within no time.
I’ve got weirdo skin (prone to acne and oily, but also somehow dry and flaky? idk man) and tried lots of things over the years. Finally settled on Clean & Clear’s sensitive skin wash and toner, and cetaphil moisturizer. Wash + moisturizer 2x daily, toner just once.
And also I made a new year’s resolution not to pick at old zits. It’s going… okay. Definitely better than before.
Not picking zits is REALLY HARD
I had a zit right under my eye that was there for like, 2 years. Long after the whitehead part disappeared, there was still a red bump. It eventually faded but it was so frustrating – I wanted to take sandpaper to it and just blast it the hell off my face.
I like Clinique’s Dramatically Different moisturizers, but I switched to an even heavier-duty moisturizer for the winter, Embryolisse Lait-Crème Concentré (via Birchbox). My skin is very dry and also super finicky.
I had mild teenage acne as a teen further complicated by my mother’s insistence that it was HORRIBLE. For me, birth control fixed it and being very gentle to my skin helped significantly. I don’t even wash my face in the morning–just wipe with a wet cloth and apply BB cream. Evenings I wash with Cetaphil and moisturize with Aveeno. Nothing else.
I recently bought Burt’s Bees cottonseed cleanser for sensitive skin, but didn’t realize till I got home that it is a cream cleanser i.e. made with oil and not bubbly & foamy. Actually, I’ve really liked it and haven’t noticed more breakouts (I have combination skin). In addition to that I use Neutrogena Healthy Skin moisturizers with retinol (AM in the AM, PM in the PM). At night, I use 2% benzoyl peroxide on my face after washing but before moisturizing. And twice a week I use this mask. Is my skin perfect? No. But it looks pretty much okay if I use bb cream and powder.
I love the Burt’s Bees cotton cleanser!! It’s so gentle and it makes my skin really happy. I have oily skin too and at first thought the texture was weird, but now that I’m on my third bottle I really enjoy how hydrated it makes me.
I tried that mask and had some sort of allergic reaction to it… which I only realized when I washed it off after half an hour. Yesterday I bought a bunch of sheet masks that I’m very excited to use, if only because they’ll make me look like something from a horror movie.
Oh man, I forgot to write down my own routine. Right now this is what I’m doing:
In the morning: I use rosewater as toner, then my homemade serum, then moisturizer with SPF 30 (I have an Olay one and a Neutrogena one, it depends which one is closest at hand). I’m too lazy during the week to wake up early enough to do a lot of makeup, so I just apply concealer, eyeliner and mascara. BB cream if I have an extra 5 minutes.
At night: take the BB cream off with a cleaning wipe if I’m wearing any, then wash with a bit of cleanser (right now I’m alternating between Philosophy’s Purity and this one by TheFaceShop) and a Clarisonic brush. Then some more rosewater toner and rosehip seed oil as moisturizer. (I have so many face oils, it’s becoming a problem. I really like Caudalie’s Huile Divine too, I should use that up at some point.) And every other night I apply a little bit of Retin-A Micro before the oil.
I don’t know if the Clarisonic brush is actually doing anything that a washcloth wouldn’t, but I bought it years ago when I was desperate and I’m going to keep using it because it gives me the fun tinglies.
What are your feelings on toner? Do you think it helps? I’m always tempted to buy the Thayer’s rosewater one but then I remember the toner sitting in my bathroom that never gets touched.
I use the Thayer’s rosewater and I can’t say I’ve noticed a big difference in my skin – maybe a little less of the around the nose bumps. But I also don’t use it every day because I have dry skin and don’t want to make that ish worse. It does make me feel clean though.
The first time I used toner as a pimply teen I didn’t like it because it just made things worse (it was chock-full of alcohol). I haven’t been using it for long enough now to be able to tell if it’s really doing something, but I’m enjoying the ritual of spritzing rosewater in my face – it smells divine – and the cotton pad I wipe it up definitely picks up some gunk that the cleanser left behind.
I use rosewater as a toner. I have dry skin, and I think the toner helps it absorb moisturizer/serums better.
I noticed I started getting forehead wrinkles (I’m 25, so they are super super minimal) around 2 months into using toner, and they stopped getting worse when I stopped using it. Could be totally made up but it feels correlated.
I have finally found the right combo of meds to take care of my hormone-fueled cystic acne, so I’m pretty psyched on that! I’ve also discovered Paula’s Choice KP treatment cloths, which I use for chest/shoulder/upper back acne. They’re technically for treating keratosis pilaris, which I don’t have, but they have salicylic and lactic acid in them, so they’ve worked really well to help with body zits and getting rid of redness/bumps.
I really like Paula’s Choice, but I’m taking a break from them just ‘cos I feel like anything needs a break from something it’s been doing for five years, you know? So this winter I’ve just been using coconut oil mixed with a teensy bit of Frankincense and Lavender essential oils. Come summer (and oily skin), though, I’ll be returning to my beloved PC.
Raw unfiltered unprocessed honey in the mornings when I’m not feeling lazy (splash water on face, smear on honey on damp face, let sit while brush teeth, rinse), BB cream, little bit of eyeshadow and mascara. When I’m lazy it’s just basically washing my hands with the hand soap, splash some on my face, rinse off, proceed to BB cream and out the door.
Evenings depends if I shower or not. Shower nights I use African black soap and coconut oil, maybe with some tea tree oil spot treatments if necessary. Non-shower nights are usually a makeup remover cloth, splash of water, and maybe coconut oil if I’m feeling dry. On weekends I like to use a facial mask, either one I’ve gotten a free sample of or one I make (yogurt, turmeric, and chickpea flour is one of my favorites, maybe with some chia seeds tossed in).
Raw unfiltered honey on your face sounds so luxurious.
Honey and Greek yogurt face masks are the bomb and best of all, you can eat the leftovers!
I’m trying to figure out if I need to re-work my routine so not gonna put it here but mostly want to ask any skincare mavens hanging out in this thread if they have any good stuff for post-acne marks. Since I am no longer a Teen I get fewer breakouts but when I do the marks stick around way longer than they ever did before and it’s super annoying–anyone have any products/routines they did for this they want to share? I am super pale and dry/combination skin if that helps.
Can I piggyback and ask for redness/rosacea recommendations? My skin haaates the cold and wind and I hate trying to pile foundation on to cover the redness.
My mom uses a cream called Impruv for her rosacea. She swears by it – that’s actually what she asked for last Christmas because she can’t find it in Switzerland.
i’ve found that simpler is better for my skin. i had bad acne as a teenager, had perioral dermatitis at 20, and then struggled a little with adult acne in my early twenties. now my skin is thankfully clear (although i don’t pretend my actions have anything to do with that, honestly) but pretty sensitive. anyway, i keep it simple because i’ve found that harsher or richer treatments tend to make my skin unhappy.
i use:
– cetaphil daily cleanser for normal to oily skin (in the morning and the night)
– cetaphil daily moisturizer with spf 15 (only in the morning)
i also:
– try to use only warm water to wash my face, because although hot feels really good, it dries out my skin too much
– spot treat the flakiest winter dry spots with neutrogena norwegian formula hand cream
– when my skin gets really dull, i dilute a tablespoon of lemon juice in some water, put it all over my face with a cotton ball, let it sit 5 minutes, and then wash it off
i don’t use any night moisturizers or eye creams yet, but my mom is always getting on me to use eye creams. i know i’m supposed to start young, but, eh.
Mostly I use Paula’s Choice products, which are great. Winter is tough because I’m still oily but also there’s dry patches on my cheeks. But if i do BHA and serum every night it really helps.
My face has always been red, I better try the vitamin C stuff. Handy that I have a can of it in the pantry for brushing the dogs’ teeth!
Foundation is fun but I have scarring and weirdness on my chin, and the foundation never looks right. I probably just need a primer– any recommended products?
I am really into the No.7 line by Boots right now. I use their foaming cleanser for normal/oily skin 2x a day. In the morning, I use Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer or plan old Neutrogena oil-free moisturizer with some vitamnin-C powder mixed in. At night, I use the No.7 serum for oily/acne prone skin and the night cream as well. I dab some coconut oil around my eyes and mouth for wrinkle prevention.
I also use those Biore pore strips once a week and use the Dark Angels scrub by Lush 2 times a week for exfoliation. Occasionally, when my skin is dry I do a homemade mask of honey and lemon juice. For my Adult Acne (ugh whyyyyy), I use a benzoyl peroxide spot treatment as needed.
Since my skin is a mess right now, let me provide advice on what you should not do! If you have one of those motorized facial brushes, and your cat hides the face brush attachment under the couch and you don’t want to have to crawl around and get it first thing in the morning, do not reason that the body brush is probably just a bigger version of the face one and use it instead. It may feel as soft but it most definitely is not and then you will be stuck with a raw, sore, sandblasted face that turns into shark skin the next day. So there’s my advice based on the last two days 🙁
I use pure aloe gel immediately after I get out of the shower. I also only use soap on my face in the evening; in the morning, I just exfoliate with a damp washcloth, then apply aloe. In summer, I use soap both morning and evening, but still do aloe right after my evening shower.
Not a product per se, but I love the Clarisonic Mia.
I get bad redness on my cheeks around my nose (I think I have rosacea, but I’ve never been to a dermatologist) and my skin is pretty dry. I use Lush products- Ultrabland cleanser that I put it on before I shower and then wipe it off just before I get out and Celestial moisturizer which smells amazing. I think they’ve made a big difference, my skin is looking a lot better these days.
In the morning and evening:
cleanse, with Cetaphil, Cerave or La Roche Posay
topical acne treatment
serum, currently Paula’s Choice Resist
moisturize, in the morning Cetaphil with SPF; in the evening Cerave PM or Argan oil
The topical acne gel-cream has a low-grade retinol; soon I’ll be looking to upgrade to Retin-A.
TOASTS HELLO LONG TIME NO THREAD CHAT HI HELLO MY LIFE IS GOOD
The company where I’ve been an intern for the past 6 months hired me, praise be to Ada Lovelace! I’m a grownup! Wahoo!
And I’m dating an amazing cutie who writes poetry in praise of me when they get drunk! (last night it was a limerick). Life is wonderful!!!
Congratulations!
I started my first “grown-up” job this week, too! CONGRATULATIONS ON ADULTHOOD (and on your cutieeeeee!!!!)
I am so pleased that your life is good! Not all comments have to be sad, and it is nice to read people having a good time!
(Also, praise by limerick? Well jellz)
EXCITING!
Congrats to you!
Congratulations!
Super!
The romance I’m writing right now the guy writes raunchy limericks for her all the time. When I get tired of writing actual story-progressing stuff I write salacious limericks and it really improves my mood.
When will this be published please?
I think late May / early June. Feel free to throw yourself onto my newsletter list – I’m gonna giveaway a couple of copies to subscribers when it’s out (odds are good – I don’t have a ton os subscribers!) http://www.melaniegreene.com/contact-me.html
Congrats!!
I’ve written a few limericks for the guy I’m seeing … he’s written a haiku or two for me. Such fun.
Here’s the kind of week it’s been: dinner over three days consisted of 1) cheese toast and leftover mashed potatoes, 2) popcorn and a smoothie, and 3) grocery store sushi and a Boston cream donut.
No regrets.
cheese toast is dinner. this: https://img0.etsystatic.com/046/0/6311096/il_full… seems like a thing you should know about.
Ha yes! But really, I love cheese toast so much the card might have to say “I like you better than anything except cheese on toast.” And then give it to someone who’d appreciate it for the compliment it is!
I like your food style. Keep on, keeping on, fellow food brethren.
I, too, ate popcorn for dinner this week. The other days were reserved for the holiest of sad dinners: the pb&j.
A proud and noble choice!
Toasties, I. am. struggling.
I’m back in the corporate world, temping with my old company/department, and that’s cool. It’s a perfect set up and I have no complaints.
EXCEPT.
The dude behind me is the world’s biggest mansplainer. Things he has mansplained to me (in my FIRST WEEK of working with him): my favourite sport, my McDonald’s order, workout routines and why we have them, why offshoring is bad (literally no argument with that because I really struggle with it…except that the exact complaints he has about our team in India are complaints the rest of us have with him), etc. I warned my manager today that the phrase she needs to listen for is, “Please, explain how my opinion is wrong.” She knows that will be when she needs to lunge across the aisle and grab me because I’m about the beat the shit out of him.
I’m just wondering what would happen if another mansplainer was moved next to him. Would they start mansplaining each other’s mansplanations, or would they respect each other as fellow men and NOT mansplain to each other?
Men don’t mansplain at men, that would just be silly!
In the case of my shitty mansplainer coworker, who mainsplains as a side dish to long incredibly boring monologues to me, he completely switches gears when there’s a man around and talks like a regular person.
I’d even take my old One Upper/Name Dropper over Mr. Mansplain. At least that I could laugh at – he did it to everybody. This is so gendered it’s insane. I want to start making shit up completely to see if he tries to manspain it.
Lately I have been trying a new strategy where I answer as if we’re having a slightly different conversation than we’re actually having. Like, on the same general topic, but responding to something he never said. It seems to throw him off temporarily.
(for the coworker, obvs)
his flask is tiny
I suspected as much, really
*snort-laughing for the rest of the day*
Ugh I’m so sorry. I have no solutions. When this kind of thing happens to me, my HUGE BITCH comes out. Like, I’m a super nice person the vast majority of the time, but occasionally, some people make me just mean girl right out, and it’s horrible. Mansplainers are number one.
You are a nice person. I am not. I would laugh at him. Loudly. Every time. Until he slinks away in shame.
or cry? crying seems to halt many men in their tracks…
I am looking forward to making up shrimp scampi with zucchini noodles for my girlfriend and me before I leave on a work trip tomorrow and am faced with a produce run to whole foods being the closest I get to cooking for myself for two weeks.
Also, since February is over, do we think maybe the temperature will at least consistently be above 0F? (Above freezing is probably asking too much though, right?)
God, I hope so. This inverse-degree thing is NOT OKAY
Maybe an odd reading request, but does anyone have any recommendations for books set in or with characters who live in all-female boarding houses from the first half of the 20th century? I can’t imagine I’d actually want to have lived in one but I find the idea of a bunch of single women living together and figuring out their futures so interesting.
Unfortunately I cannot help you BUT at 13 I wrote an epic long story about a teenage girl who ram away to live in a boarding house and met all kinds of weird characters and it was set in like 1875 and it was super scandalous because her new BFF actually DRANK LIQUOR HOLY SHIT. The main character was of course myself and her best friend was my best friend.
I would love to read a book like this! One that sorta not really fits the bill is The Daring Ladies of Lowell – but it’s a Lowell textile mill, not a boarding house. There is also a mystery plot, but still lots of ladies together and also labor rights!
The Girls of Slender Means, by Dame Muriel Spark! (Set in WWII London)
Oooh! The library near me has this book. I’m going to head over and lunch and pick it up.
Very good, but I’ve already read it!
Here’s a post about Town in Bloom by Dodie Smith, which is set in a place sort of like that: http://rushthatspeaks.dreamwidth.org/437628.html
I have read that! The review (minor, sweet, pleasant) is pretty accurate. 🙂
After a bit of sleuthing around the internet I found the book I remember seeing in a publisher’s catalog! It’s called Searching for Grace Kelly and is set in the Barbizon, one of the most famous boarding houses of this type.
Also, the Bell Jar is semi set in a house like this, if I remember correctly.
Just suggested my library buy Searching for Grace Kelly on Kindle!
Pain Parties Work by Elizabeth Winder. It’s an account of Sylvia Plath’s summer working as a guest editor for Mademoiselle in New York City.
Women of the Silk by Gail Tsukiyama is set in 1926 China, and is about a group of girls and women working in a silk factory. They live in a boarding house, if I remember correctly. Possibly like another suggestion, The Daring Ladies of Lowell, but set in rural China instead.
It’s nonfiction, but Martha Vicinus’s “Independent Women” might be of interest
The War Workers by E.M. Delafield, about women working in WWI.
Stage Door (movie) is about a group of actresses at a women’s boarding house in the 1930s. Or Agent Carter (right after WWII) has her living in a boarding house.
I don’t know if there were ever all-female boarding houses in the series, but Helen Dore Boylston’s Sue Barton Nurse series definitely had a “bunch of single women living together and figuring out their futures” theme with the Student Nurse/ Senior Nurse books- since nursing school in the 1930s was an all-girl thing. (I should note that I read these when I was a kid, so my deep love for them probably ignores some flaws. They’re also hard to find outside of the tiny library of the tiny town I grew up in, but they are back in print: http://www.imagecascade.com/helen-dore-boylston-b…
Dodie Smith, The Town in Bloom!
OH SOMEBODY GOT IT NEVER MIND R.I.P ME
Mushrooms. I love artichokes and avocados and olives and all kinds of bitter sweets and sweet sweets, but pretty much anything on a menu that sounds mushroom heavy is likely to attract my attention, even if it’s mainly composed of things I don’t like. I made a pork roast with a side of roasted potatoes, onions, and carrots this week, and another platter of roasted Brussels sprouts, squash, green beans, beets, tomatoes, and mushrooms, and it was the BEST and now I am so hungry again.
I want a mushroom and barley soup. I haven’t made one this winter, and winter isn’t really taking here in California anyway, but I deserve some mushroom and barley soup.
Fellow Californian who has been reading mushroom-barley soup recipes for the last month, trying to figure out the best one. It’s gonna happen soon, I can feel it.
My grandfather, as he got older, pretty much reverted to only wanting to eat the foods of his youth, so my mom would make huge pots of mushroom and barley soup and matzo ball soup and batches of kugel and suchlike and take them over to him, and man, every time she described it, I’d get hungry. I have a few basic versions I do most often, but it’s such a good basic soup that it’s open to a lot of variations.
Mushroom barley soup for life!
I just found a dead simple recipe for split pea and barley, and I can see no reason not to add mushrooms (save taking it from five ingredients to six). Yum. Soup.
Oh my god, Toasties, my ex-boss is still trying to micromanage everything. He calls the shop (I don’t answer) and people’s cell phones, and everybody but me talks to him. My actual boss, his business partner, has asked me to write various facebook and blog posts, my usual job stuff. One of my coworkers got off the phone with ex-boss, and said, “hey, [name] wanted me to check and make sure you’re working on the blog post on zone heating.” Yes, I fucking well am, because my boss, my actual boss, asked me to, and I’m doing my job. Micromanaging and haranguing me every day was bad enough when you were actually in the office, but you don’t get to fucking micromanage me from jail. I’m doing my job, which is no longer any of your business, even if you are legally still part-owner of the company.
I’m sure this was completely unrelated to the gastritis flareup that sent me home from work 3 hours early.
Oh, and the gastritis means that I didn’t really eat anything yesterday. I have a bakery gift certificate, though, so I think I’m going to head over there later for some nosh.
He’s doing this FROM JAIL?? Ughhh
Have I mentioned that he’s an asshole?
Although I don’t know if he’s trying to berate people from jail. He might just be trying to make sure the business he helped create isn’t falling apart. Although if it did, he’s got nobody to blame but his own fucking self.
you don’t get to fucking micromanage me from jail
Pretty much.
JAIL. FROM FUCKING JAIL.
“Why would he ask?”
I’d just respond with questions, in order to avoid engaging. But I am far less patient than you are. Good luck, friend. I feel for you.
Oh, I totally went with that, only with more swearing. We’re all united in finding it super-annoying, but some people have more ability to can even than I do (I’m in church choir with his lawyer! I am entirely too close to this situation!), so they humor his cabin fever and need for control.
Also, I did have to actually answer his call earlier, as actual boss was on the phone, and I needed to give him relevant information about his other lawyer.
I realized last night that his elderly dogs are never going to see their daddy again, and then I was sad.
“only with more swearing”
One of the many reasons I like you.
I’m sad about the dogs too. And I want to know how your gastritis is. Feeling any better now?
Yeah, I went home and took some baking soda, then didn’t eat for the rest of the day. Fixed me right up. Now I can consume alcohol again, so life is good.
We haven’t found a foster home for the dogs, so we’re probably going to get in touch with an area border collie rescue after we get back from our company road trip to Nashville. I’m going to miss them like crazy, though. I wish I could adopt them, but I couldn’t give them nearly the room they deserve. I cried about it in the bathroom at work. DAMN YOU, EX BOSS.
I think what I actually said to my coworker was something much like “he realizes he’s not my fucking boss anymore, right? Because he’s not my goddamn boss anymore. Yes, I’m fucking writing that post.” Coworker sympathized entirely.
I spent last week in New Mexico, and the friends I was visiting said “you get used to it” about the dryness, the elevation, and the chiles on everything. I wasn’t there long enough to get used to any of these, so I need a break from “make it spicy & smother it in cheese” meals. Which is unusual. Last night’s colorful veggie stir-fry was a nice antidote.
I like this post about hating/not really hating food and other things: http://www.yesandyes.org/2015/02/do-you-really-ac… It’s one of those revelations I’ve had about individual things but never really articulated.
Well, you do get used to the elevation and the dryness, but if the chile and cheese isn’t your thing, it’s never your thing. I sympathize with your tummy.
Also, I really like/identify with that post. I only hate parts of things, not necessarily the sum of those parts.
Cheese and chile are sooooo goooood but yeah, I was not used to eating them 2x a day while persistently dehydrated. I will love them again soon.
Hooray another New Mexican!
yeah, the cheese and spice can either wear on you or you can become a complete addict (me)
Interesting post about hating/not hating; thanks!
The cheese sort of fades away once you’ve been there long enough that people stop trying to new mexico it up for you.
Then you can spend the whole time eating posole and sopapillas.
The chili is unavoidable.
T-minus32 days to my move to abq.
OMG the sopapillas!!!!! I loved those so much I had to learn how to make them myself, which I did, to huge acclaim from the coop house.
This Russian honey cake universally gets rave reviews, which is what happens when you make frosting that’s half heavy cream and half sour cream, with some sugar in, and it’s easy enough that even my cooking-impaired skills aren’t an issue. Very good with black tea.
In non-food news, I’ve gotten the confirmation that I’m officially impregnable, thanks to the Essure I got last year. The HSG test is No Fun At All, but at least it was over quickly, and I won’t have to do it again! (Children are marvelous but I would rather be the cool auntie than the mum.)
That cake looks outrageously good. Like the kind of thing one might make while supping dew and whispering thank yous to the bees as they bring you honey.
LEONARD NEMOY HAS PASSED AWAY THIS IS THE WORST NEWS
🙁 🙁
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Oh no 🙁 🙁 🙁
The world just got perceptibly less awesome. It’s a punch in the gut.
I just saw that and I have to hold back tears every time I think about it.
I am at a day-long farm forum put on by the county I live in, and the first panelist who spoke after this news came out ended his talk with “live long and prosper” and the announcement of his death, and the whole room went “awww,” and I definitely almost cried.
THE WORLD IS FULL OF SADNESS
I’ve been sad about this all afternoon.
Leonard Nimoy died. I’m very sad about this one.
🙁
no
no no no
no
Oh no! That is very sad.
Oh fuck no no no no no no no no
I just heard… and now I’m sad. I really wasn’t expecting that one yet!
Oh NO
no no no 🙁
Aw, bullshit. That is bullshit.
this day can go to hell.
YOU SHUT UP HE CANNOT DIE
Not ok, not ok at all.
Food question for new mothers! If your co-worker gave you a bunch of homemade granola bars to eat as snacks while you were nursing, would you have liked or welcomed that? Any well-known baby allergens or bad-for-nursing-moms ingredients I should avoid when making such granola bars?
I would have *loved* that, but if they had either dairy or soy in them I would have been very sad since both our kids were allergic to both dairy & soy. 🙂
I know nothing about babies or nursing but a coworker just mentioned the other day that she didn’t eat nuts while nursing because of possibly allergy concerns… so maybe no nuts?
the latest science is that exposing kids to nuts early actually cuts down on nut allergies – avoiding nuts actually makes children more likely to develop nut allergies. There was a big article about it in the Times — the benefits of exposing babies in the womb and also as young things through low doses of nuts. But your coworker/her pediatrician may not have digested the latest studies/may be nervous, so I guess no-nuts might still be nice.
Well, if you can’t ask ahead of time, you could be super-safe and avoid nuts, dairy, and soy, or you could just provide an ingredient list and not ask too many questions about whether the co-worker, personally, consumed them afterwards.
(I’m assuming that high-mercury fish and loads of alcohol wouldn’t be in these regardless.)
I am far from an expert on nursing and allergens, but a large-scale recent study has shown that early exposure to peanuts actually reduces peanut allergies. http://www.bbc.com/news/health-31550816
Also, this article discusses nursing and is well-put together :http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/03/as-peanut-allergies-rise-trying-to-determine-a-cause/
Nice! I would say, unless they have a particular allergic concern already (like you already know the wee one has a dairy allergy, for example, or nut allergies are very common in their family) then I would go hard on the granola bars! Bonus, adding some brewers yeast is an excellent way to boost milk supply.
I called my Aunt last night to talk to her about Easter lunch/dinner. We plan in advance and go big in my family.
It’s probably awful, but my favorite food is french fries. I will sometimes order something just because it comes with fries.
I’ve been trying to get my family talking about Easter this week and NO ONE will talk about it. There are about 35 of us, some coming in from out of state. I don’t think it’s too early to decide where and when we’re eating!
Oooh that’s tough. It’s definitely not too early, but you guys still have time. It’ll come together, I’m sure!!
The thing with fries is that they can be transcendent or they can be SO DISAPPOINTING. Heartbreakers.
I know. It ruins my meal if they are of the disappointing variety!!
the best date I’ve ever had was driving around town eating fries from different restaurants. Such a simple food with so many possibilities! <3 u, french fries
That does sound like the most perfect date!
Dog thread! Behold the noble corgi:
Oh god I love corgis. This makes me want to snuggle….sigh.
Unfortunately, if you tried to snuggle her, she would grumble and growl at you and then promptly leave. She likes her space.
So noble!
We have sunshine again, and my pups are loving it:
The Borgi (border collie-corgi) chewing her rubber rings:
My pups have the same toy! They love it, although Worrydog broke one of the rings off of it, so it’s just two rings now.
I had to confiscate it, but we’re heading in that direction. I had to put all of Leela’s toys up because Gertie, in typical little sister fashion, was eating them all.
such teeth
very wow
And the mystery spaniel, confused by the closed door.
Cuteness! Here’s my latest Ruthie update, I don’t think I posted these here yet, but please forgive me if this is a repost. I was at Winners the other day and I saw the cutest 100% cashmere dog sweaters on clearance for ~$10 (from $79!) so obviously I needed to get one for my mother’s hairless dog. But then when I got to the till the cashier accidentally ripped it while taking the security tag off, so he asked me if I’d like to take it for free given the condition. Um, HELL YES. Anyway, my mom is going to darn it when she gets a chance, and I’ll give it to her to fix/use for her dog after this cold snap ends – it’s the perfect size for Ruthie right now and she’s very wimpy in this weather.
Yes, that’s a measuring cup she’s chewing on. No accounting for taste. *shrug*
Aww! So cute!
So much love for Ruthie!
In trying to get my mind off of sad news: I am donating platelets on Sunday! I forgot that I’d made an appointment, but I always look forward to them. Toasties, do you donate blood or platelets or plasma or anything like that?
I am unfortunately not allowed on account of living in Europe for too long during the wrong years. However, I recently signed up with Be The Match so I might get to save somebody’s life with my bone marrow someday!
Me, too – stupid Mad Cows.
Thanks for the link to Be The Match!
I signed up with the UK version of Be the Match (called Anthony Nolan here) and I’m glad I did because I think they cut off accepting a donor once she or he reaches 30? I want to donate, but I’m half white/half Mexican, which isn’t as common a match here as it would be in the US, though apparently if there is a desperate need +match abroad, the marrow can be shipped internationally.
I was a regular blood donor (almost fifteen years of four donations a year) until my veins gave up and started bruising terribly when I donated. I have to get regular bloodwork done because of my autoimmune disease and I was told I needed to stop donating if I wanted to keep my veins strong enough for that and to receive a transfusion if I ever needed one. I still feel sad that I can’t donate anymore, because I’m a fairly rare blood type (B-).
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO DONATES BLOOD.
I used to donate blood until my veins gave up! Very sad. I’m a weird evangelist for it & tell healthy people to do it. Back when I donated blood, women weren’t allowed to donate platelets. I once went to a permanent blood donation site to give blood and it was full of the platelet people — they were all these tough-looking young men. Blood/platelet donation is funny, the kind of people who you often see there (working class, young) are not the people who society generally deems ‘good’ and altruistic.
We were talking about this on twitter!
I really want to, but they don’t want me.
I have high haemoglobin levels, bleed fast, recover faster, and am generally awesome, except I’m AB+ so my blood is really not useful. My whole blood donations got moved to every 112 days instead of every 56 because they have enough.
Can’t do platelet donation because I’ve been pregnant and Canadian Blood Services doesn’t do the test to find out if that gave me antibodies that might lead to post-transfusion lung failure.
There is a test, they could find out, but they don’t do it. For whatever reason. So my super useful platelets languish away.
I’m kind of bitter about this.
And there’s no plasma clinic in town.
112 days is the standard for women here in the UK – men can donate every 12 weeks (which I think is a relatively recently change), and women every 16 weeks. 56 days sounds very short!
I donate every 8 weeks, mostly for the snacks. Also, because it’s about the easiest way you can legitimately claim to have helped save someone’s life while laying in a chair.
I do blood, and I’m on the bone marrow register if they ever want it.
Yay for blood donation! I’m O- so they basically roll out the red carpet for me.
Me too! The Red Cross sends me the thirstiest emails/calls asking me to donate. It’s nice to feel wanted. (And, of course, to actually donate and be of use!)
Me too! Except I often fail the iron test (I’ve started taking iron supplements, but my dad says we have a weird family thing that might make my iron levels always register as low), so they get all excited and then sadly tell me I can’t donate.
I do platelets pretty regularly! It’s great if you can do it — where I donate, they put you in a heated chair and cover you in blankets and let you pick out a movie to watch. It’s like being a doted-upon toddler (except, you know, with needles).
Although, you know that thing that happens when you’re watching a movie or show in public (like, on a train or plane) and you suddenly realize that it has way more nudity than anticipated? That happened with the last movie I watched while donating, and when I looked around awkwardly to see if anyone else could see my screen, I realized that not only could the guy sitting next to me see it, he was also a priest.
But still, helping save lives while watching movies is pretty great.
I was a regular blood donor up until a year or so ago when my iron levels decided to plummet precipitously and stay there, so I’m on the deferral list until that gets sorted out. I miss the clinics and snacks! I’ve also been on the Unrelated Bone Marrow Donor Registry for years but only had one potential match at one point. Still good to go, Registry!
I had that happen to me about a year ago as well. I never really figured out what caused it, I just started being more on top of taking my Flintstones’ chewable vitamins and using my cast iron pans for cooking more often. Here’s to your iron levels getting back up to normal soon!
Thanks! It’s most likely from my cycle going completely tizz-wozz (yay, perimenopause! NOPE), so continuous OC should help…but in the meantime, I get to eat all the steaks.
I’m interested to see whether I’ll be allowed again soon! I’ve been forbidden for several years as a female partner of a man who’s had sex with a man; now the MSM deferral rules are changing, but no one seems interested in clarifying whether that will change anything for me (one of the several reasons I find it frustrating that “MSM” keeps getting rounded up to “gay men” in this discussion).
I donate blood! I have been doing so since I was first old enough (it’s 17 here), and have done it about a dozen times so far. I quite enjoy it, weirdly, although the last two times have been a little unpleasant (needle hit a nerve the first time, nearly fainted when sitting up afterwards the second time). Hopefully things will go back to normal – it’s such a valuable thing to do, and I’m glad I do it.
I used to donate regularly, then I moved somewhere without a place to donate. I was secretly slightly relieved, as I’m terrified of needles and so would faint about half the time I tried to donate. I am on the bone marrow donation list, but I’ve never been contacted with a match.
I have donated five times. I can’t do it very often because I get piercings and body mods.
Their rules on the matter, I have So Many Opinions about! My body mods are quite sterile and safe, much more so than the average cut-myself-while-chopping-veggies or stepped-on-a-nail injury. And they don’t really cover things like play-piercing or other activities, so I play it safe, but I want to argue with them about it constantly.
Where do you live? I am pierced/tattooed fairly heavily, and I’ve never had an issue with donation afterwards but I think that’s because I get modified almost exclusively in the state of NJ.
Canada – it’s six months’ wait after each thing. I do play-piercing and related things once every few months, so, welp.
I started donating when I was 16 because the boy I had a crush on arranged a group of us to go and in the end I was the only one brave/lustful enough to go through with it.
He never returned my affections, but the blood donating habit stuck.
I used to donate every three months through uni because I was broke and one of the after donation drink options was a beer. I’d go in last thing on a Friday afternoon, get my free beer, walk across the street to meet my friends just as happy hour was starting and get happily sloshed on very little money.
Not the smartest thing I’ve ever done, but hey, uni.
Now I’m not allowed to because I’m on some icky drugs, but I hope to get back to it at some point.
OMG I am so bored of food right now. It is winter and February and everything is boring. I cannot wait until broccoli and purple sprouting comes into season.
I did discover how to make veggie ma po tofu this week though, so it wasn’t all bad. (mmm, spicy).
YES to veggie ma po tofu. Do you have a recipe?
There’s a place in Chinatown that makes tofu in house and their vegetarian ma po tofu is the greatest single dish in the city, I think. Really good tofu makes a big difference.
I used this http://thewoksoflife.com/2014/03/ma-po-tofu-real-… recipe but without pork, (obvs) and a handful of chopped coriander leaves (cilantro) at the garlic/ginger stage. I had never made it before, but like you, the best dish at my local Chinese place is the tofu, and this came pretty damn close.
(also I now have a large quantity of chilli oil that needs eating. My life is so hard)
I got my nipples pierced last weekend and I had forgotten how terrifying it is to care for a new piercing – you want to make sure it’s clean and healing correctly but you can’t clean and fuss with it TOO much or it’ll get irritated and infected anyway! I also can’t tell whether I need longer barbells or if the wounds are just normally irritated from having to wear clothing all the time and WHY IS THIS SO STRESSFUL.
If you can, I recommend checking in with your piercer to see if the discomfort is normal!
Whenever someone mentions nipple piercings I swoop in screeching like a harpy “DON’T BE LIKE ME!!!” I got mine pierced at a sketchy place in a foreign country, and had a boyfriend who was not good about washing his hands. The end result was one of them getting infected and having to be taken out, and the other one had been pierced crooked and started migrating to the surface and, again, had to be removed. </3
Honestly, mine never healed properly and I ended up taking them out a few years later. It can take months and months for them to set properly. Hope you’re not too invested in lying down on your stomach…
(Nice wug, by the way!)
Mine also didn’t heal properly. I had two for about a year, took one out, got it repierced, took the other one out, and then …. by the time I took the last one out it was probably about four years of Nipple Battle.
When they were sensitive I actually found tucking them immobile inside a bra was much nicer than letting them flop around (and I’m only a B cup).
I’ve had mine since I was, oh, 19 or 20, so nearly 20 years, and mine have never been much trouble. I did get mine pierced with captive ball rings and not barbells, which is the only way my piercer would do them because they are so much easier to clean as they heal. If they are really giving you trouble, soak them in a cup or class of warm salt water. It looks weird but works. I think generally stuff like neosporin isn’t thought of as good for piercings anymore but I’ve always dabbed a little on them if they get irritated and they are still kicking.
I finally got on the Tumblr and I’m looking for people to follow! I’m mostly just posting pretty things and trying to get a feel for it, but I’m interested in all kinds of weirdos.
Also, have you seen Prince’s video for Batdance? It is the most perfect thing and I could watch it forever.
i’m wintertrails! there are a bunch of us on tumblr. I mostly just post pretty art and trees and things but I always appreciate the toasties I have on tumblr for being so passionate about things I don’t understand (supernatural! soccer! other various and sundry interesting things!) so that I can learn about them, too.
Mine is shakespearemonologues! It’s my personal collection of good Shakespeare audition monologues + pretty Shakespeare posts, so I realize I’m playing to a niche audience.
I am following:
Writing With Color
People of Color in European Art History
Hark! A Vagrant
Tinder in Brooklyn
and
Sexymaledancer (exactly what it says on the label).
I just got started too so will be eagerly watching this space for toast-sourced suggestions!
Oh man, tinder in brooklyn is hilarious, thank you for introducing me to it!
I have a Jupiter Ascending fashion tumblr started almost immediately after I saw the movie. It’s silly but I figure many toasties might enjoy it 🙂
ETA: I sometimes randomly follow Toastfolk with my personal blog, but I’m wary of linking identities so I don’t like sharing that username on here. Hope that’s ok and not creepy!
Oh my god that is amazing. I am going to follow you immediately. So, when a super weird porn tumblr shows up in your activity, that is me and I apologise.
I need a secondary tumblr for things that aren’t porn…
I am still loving your JA fashion blog. Seriously amazing stuff. Thank you!
I haven’t even seen Jupiter Ascending yet, but I am totally on board with your tumblr.
I never even thought of finding fellow Toastrons to follow on Tumblr! I’m chnellociraptor there too and mostly I just reblog pretty things/dumb jokes/Sondheim gifs.
I’m Clevermanka on Tumblr, too: http://clevermanka.tumblr.com/.
As my bio says, Random fandom posts (my fandom loyalties change day to day but due South is my first and truest love), political stuff (rights for women, POC, gay and trans people), and (almost) every Tuesday, a themed collection of things I like. Also random posts of Tom Hiddleston and other hot people. I keep meaning to post more selfies but I’m really fucking lazy.
I only know one other person who watches Due South, and it’s such a tiny fandom that maybe you know her too! she’s deputy-chairman.
I myself have never watched it, but I started following her because I adore Paul Gross in Slings & Arrows.
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA! I LOVE DEPUTY! She is fantasic. Not only is she super funny (and stylish!), but I honestly believe she is the best person currently writing in the fandom. Oh, yeah. Deputychairman. She is the fucking bomb.
Yay I’m following you and a bunch of other people now! I’m antiquelands.
Yaaay! I’m following you and a bunch of people now, too! A+ TUMBLRS TOASTRONS.
I’m lady-bane on tumblr too! Mostly I post lots of fandom stuff (magical girl animes, batman, etc.) but theres some fashion and art stuff on there!
Hooray for magical girl animes!
I am brynplusplus but I have not posted in like 1000 years. Perhaps that will change today!
I’m jessenigma on tumblr. I was just thinking the other day that I wanted more people to follow, so this is excellent timing!
I really need to make a secondary tumblr account that isn’t a totally filthy porn blog.
Because tumblr is cool and people have cool tumblrs and mine is just over the top kinky porn and that’s weird to follow people with.
Oh man, I follow so many tumblrs and basically don’t reblog anything because I’m a lurker. I really like:
trinandtonic
foodffs (delicous food pictures with links to the recipes)
putyouinagoodmood (cute animal pictures)
I just followed you– I’m thatsaturdayfeeling!
I don’t have much of a Tumblr “brand,” but for illustration, my last 5 posts were a Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam video, a reblog of a Rimsky-Korsakov piece, a photo of people rollerdancing, Lupita Nyong’o’s Oscar dress, and a gif of cherry blossoms blooming.
So many new tumblrs to follow! I’m galileov and I mostly reblog fandoms and things I like.
I’m hepatosaurus! I post lots of things (pretty art, soccer, cute animals, fandom stuff, the usual). 🙂
I am caralarm-bicycles on tumblr and my blog has no theme or consistency whatsoever. There’s a lot of NBC Hannibal (a LOT), social justice stuff, hot people, Jewish stuff, cute animals, Doctor Who, Elementary, Agent Carter…and selfies. It’s a mess, but follow if you like!
I also made a dumb joke on tumblr that now has 350,000+ notes, and I got a lot of followers and kind of don’t know what to do.
always follow Ursula Vernon (ursulavernon.tumblr.com) for random gardening/strange animal babble, bizarre short stories, and occasional art of delightful small creatures.
I’m maladydee on tumblr, and even though I’m pretty lurky here, I’m pretty active there. Toastie tumblr is just great in general
I’m ocwut! I mostly reblog things on trans issues, feminism, Parks and Recreation, and really anything else I find interesting or funny. 🙂
That video is truly a thing of beauty.
The online dating nightmare thread continues!
After I opined last week that the bear man had disappeared on me, he suddenly reappeared! And asked me to come over! At 1am. I went, and we had fun, but the next day over breakfast I told him things were a little too lackadaisical for my taste and if we weren’t going to try harder to make plans and see each other, then I didn’t want to be on the hook for occasional sleepovers. It was actually a very nice parting of ways.
BUT he told me the most interesting and sad story about his ex-girlfriend — it was serious, he was totally in love with her, and then she unexpectedly sprung on him that she was into hardcore BDSM and wanted him to be her daddy. They tried it for a while, but he was really uncomfortable occupying that dominant role 24/7 (she wanted to be subservient in non-sexual situations too) and they broke up about two months ago. It put a lot of things in perspective for me; he had some major issues with some very minor kinks of mine, and they clearly upset him. It was such an intense revelation, though! I kind of can’t stop thinking about how fucked up that is. (Not BDSM itself, but their particular relationship.)
Any stories to share?
I’m so glad you got the chance to tell him how you felt and clarify your needs. Also, dang, that story. I’m fascinated by these weirdly intimate connections we make with people, even people we don’t see anymore.
I went on the pie date on Saturday and he was cute and interesting but I was very boring! I texted him nicely afterwards, and he also texted me nicely to say he wasn’t interested in a second date. I keep getting told that women don’t need to reach out, but I’m glad I did! It felt like a good lesson. It was also the first time my date was given the chance to say yes or no, rather than him asking me first.
I’m also going to the meet-my-kids date on Saturday. I’m a little nervous but I’m confident. I’m going to bring some Asian pears that I know his son liked last time I left some. Crunchy and so sweet!
Otherwise, nothing much else going on. I was more bummed the last week or so about my desirability, etc., but I feel a little more control currently so I’m kind of glad. I need a little time for myself.
Please tell me where you went on your pie date so I can have pie dates in the future! Also, I have so much side-eye for people who say it’s not up to girls to reach out. Like what, you should just wait around all the time to be gifted the opportunity of saying yes or no? It’s 2015! People are on schedules!
I went to Wanda’s Pie in the Sky! It was okay, considering their specialty should be pies?
I think my friend in this case was trying to assure me I didn’t have to stick my neck out for unnecessary emotion. But even though I thought this guy was cute, I realized it was pretty low-stakes. Plus, I really feel bad that men should be burdened with always being the one to say something first. Just want to show I can do it, even though I get the luxury of really getting to choose to.
I am a weird grump/disappointed today. I’ve been hanging out with this dude, but it’s very hard to make plans with him because he’s a professional musician. I went over to his apartment a couple of times this week during lunch for some afternoon delight, which was a lot of fun. He said he’s not looking to date anyone exclusively, and that’s ok. I’m cool with keeping it casual (we’ve only been out once officially) but made it clear that I actually want to go out on dates and not just be a fuck buddy.
Anyway, we were supposed to go out tomorrow night because my roommate is moving out and the new one isn’t moving in until Sunday, so we’d get the whole apartment after having some cocktails in my neighborhood. Last night he texted to ask about going out tonight, and I told him I had no plans, but my parents are coming up earlyish tomorrow morning to bring a TV and some other stuff. He said he might have a gig on Saturday, which was confirmed today. We were texting and I said, “Well, I’ll see you tonight then.” He said, “Yeah, we can try.”
??? I said that he seemed confident last night that we could hang out tonight, but he said he was called into rehearsal and that he’s “feeling a bit overwhelmed and don’t know if [he’ll] be up for everything and then have to play again tomorrow night.” Like, I understand if you’re busy and I know this is your job, but we had this planned for over a week, and both expressed that we were looking forward to it. Now it’s “we can try”? Blah.
Ugh. Musicians. I mean, god love ’em, ‘cos I sure ain’t gonna. I love hanging out with musicians and sure they’re sexy, and I have professional musician friends whom I adore, but I have never had sex with a professional musician and I very much plan to keep it that way.
Good luck, bb.
You are wise. Wiser than me. Very fond of him still in a platonic way but GOOD GOD NO MORE.
Well, I did not name myself Clever Manka. It was gifted to me by a BF a long, long time (oh god, over twenty years) ago. I’ve always been good at giving smart advice even though in my 20s I didn’t always walk my own talk. =D
I would just like to say how grateful I am for questions on okcupid like “do you think women have an obligation to shave their legs?” because it has allowed me to filter out so many people who look like they might be fine but would actually end up be a big waste of time to talk to.
That said, no exciting news for me. I matched with someone potentially interesting on Tinder (this is news because 98% of Tinder is either terrifying or boring, not because matching with someone always yields favorable results) but I am stuck on an opening line. Whaaaat am I supposed to say to people?
I was JUST thinking the shaving legs thing yesterday. Such a great litmus. I’ve also noticed it tends to correspond with people who match me at low percentages (<60%).
I just started Tinder! So I have no idea 😐 If they don’t have much of a profile to go on, maybe something in their photo?
I mention in my profile that I do not shave my legs, and I like to think it’s kept some of the more blatant misogynists away.
Downside: I’ve gotten half a dozen or so “hairy women are so sexy ;)” messages from guys with usernames like “HirsuteLover” AUGH GHADSHRHGJH NO EW
Ah, what, no! I want someone who can be chill about my body hair, not objectify it.
Once I saw a guy whose profile said “for a certain woman, armpit hair is not a deal breaker ;)” and that rubbed me the wrong way too.
I like to think he has literally got *A* particular woman in mind, and is hoping she comes across his profile and knows he means her.
Ask him if he thinks women should be obligated to shave their legs?
Oh duh, of course!
My first message, sent to guys who looked like they might actually be interesting, was a joke. It was helpful because unlike Okcupid, most profiles on Tinder don’t have much for you to comment on aside from pictures, and you don’t want to just tell someone you like their hair. Something like this is what I used:
I’m not really sure how to start a conversation on here, so here’s a poem instead:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oranges are orange
Wait –
Oh, fuck
Or just any joke.
Goddammit, I was first to comment, FIRST TO COMMENT, but Ipad wasn’t cooperating, nope, nope, nope. Typing took forever, then it decided to flush my hilariously witty food observations down the toilet.
So because all is lost, here’s the Reader’s Digest version: frozen perogies are delicious comfort food when eaten in moderation and with healthy sides, as opposed to stuffing your face-hole with a good dozen (or so, who’s counting) perogies with zero healthy sides (unless you count the gallons of olive oil that drenched the aforementioned potato bombs as a side).
OH. Oh no. You’ve triggered my insatiable craving for pierogi fried up in oil with some crispy fried onion bits, and now I cannot rest until I feed it.
WISCONSIN TOASTIE MEET-UP
Hey guys, I’m trying to pull together a Toast meet-up tomorrow, February 28th at 4pm in Milwaukee at the Lakeside Colectivo Coffee. We’ll be there for a few hours so come join us!
For more info, you can join the Wisconsin Toastie Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/328075834050365/ or just leave a comment here.
It’s my birthday next week. I am already planning what to eat. There will definitely be some duck in there, possibly also steak frites, and I’m thinking of baking my own damn cake so that it can be as delicious as my imagination. Pisces Toasties! What’s on your birthday menu?
Tonight is the start of the local 24-hour playfest. So starting at 7:00 p.m., I will have 10 hours to write a 10-minute play for four actors, based on a theme as yet to be revealed. Exciting! Should be fun – I did it last year and it was a blast. Thanks to everyone who gave me encouragement when I was freaking out about it a few weeks before. 🙂 You guys are the greatest. And if there’s anyone still awake at like, 2:00 a.m. EST, please send me creative juju. I might need it.
Ooooh, I just made steak frites last night with a killer shallot-red wine reduction and bleu cheese butter. Let me know if you want the recipe!
OH, and good luck with your play! That sounds super fun — I wish we had something like that where I live.
Ohhhhh that sounds DELICIOUS.
It was! All you have to do is pan sear the steak(s) for 2 minutes on each side and then finish in the oven. While the steaks are in the oven, add some butter to the drippings and 3-4 chopped shallots and cook for a few minutes to soften them. Then add about a cup-ish of red wine and let it reduce for about 7-8 minutes. Add MORE butter (2 TBSP-ish), stir, then add salt and pepper to taste. When your steaks are out of the oven and resting, put a huge dollop of a 1/2 bleu cheese, 1/2 butter mixture on top of them and let that get deliciously melty while you finish the reduction. Pour the finish reduction over your steaks and serve with pomme frites and a chunk of baguette or two to soak up the leftover sauce.
Oh man, it was so good! The only challenging thing is making sure everything is timed right so you don’t overcook your steaks, but it is SO worth it.
My birthday is also next week! *happy birthday fistbump* I am the world’s least-Pisces Pisces, though. I swear I was supposed to be an Aquarius.
Can’t answer the birthday menu question because my friend is planning me a thing and I know nothing about it except that it will occupy all of Friday evening and most of Saturday. Eep.
Happy Birthday and your 24-hour play will be great. I was awake, despite my best efforts, at 2 this morning. I may be again, so I will keep you in my thoughts.
How did it go? You’re done writing now. What was the subject? What direction did you go? Inquiring minds…
Oh my gosh! You remembered! That’s so awesome! It went really, really well. I got a great team and wrote a very slapsticky play. It got a lot of laughs, and it won third place play! The theme was The Flip Side. 🙂
You won! Congratulations. I am impressed by your skills. Being funny on deadline takes serious concentration and smarts.
NICE, I’ve been wanting to get mine pierced but have decided to wait until it’s not freeze-ur-tits-off cold. In my experience with other piercings (nose, industrial) piercers are happy to take a look at whatever is going on and make recommendations. In the meantime, two general helpful techniques:
1) heat up saline and hold it to piercing. I just sprayed some sterile saline into a shot glass, microwaved it for like 7 seconds, soaked a cotton ball in it, and then held it to the piercing once it cooled off enough to be warm but not burny.
2) maybe wait a bit longer into healing before doing this, but swabbing on some tea tree oil can help with dryness and healing.
Any stories of changing jobs when you thought you had found your dream job and then you realize it’s not right for you? It’s not horrible and I don’t need to leave immediately, but I’m having a lot of feelings about thinking I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and I’ve been doing it for 4 years and realizing it does not make me happy.
No story, but total sympathy – switch out a few words and numbers and that’s where I’m at. I know “dream job” is one of those concepts that doesn’t really exist, and all jobs have some crummy/tedious aspects, but I’m having a serious case of the is-that-all-there-ises.
idk cause that’s exactly where i’m at too
and just heard from the department head– we like you, pls stay longer? we will give you less work and pay you the same.
so confuse
wow
doge is the only way to express this..
Oh, I have completely been there! In my case, it was like everything I’d worked towards for four years was suddenly meaningless because I hate hate hated everything I was doing once I got what I thought I wanted.
So I took a step back, looked at my life and what I wanted to do, and gave myself a year to figure out how to accomplish it. I made lists of things I could do outside of work to keep myself fulfilled, and (since part of what I was considering involved grad school/debt and an international move) I gave myself a hard limit of what I was comfortable investing financially.
It’s a totally scary place to be in, but (and I know this is cheesy and cliche) so freeing! You have so many options, and you’re free to pursue something more exciting. And – the absolute best part – you will also know how to handle it if that doesn’t work out. Life is sometimes a collection of really interesting ‘failures’.
No story but this is also me! I was [thank heaven] finally laid off last week, after months of The Job and I looking at each other unhappily and choking back our disappointment. Three years and, well, I’m so relieved not to have to keep making it work – but a little stunned at how we weren’t a match after all.
I’m trying to be very practical. I’m making lists of the things I had thought this job would bring, and the things I really wanted that it didn’t give me, and the things it had that I most resisted (no, not interested in ‘overcoming my resistance’, thanks) — I”m trying to be as mindful as possible about my What Next. However, with jobs as with relationships, what we think we want? Is clearly not necessarily the answer.
This month has been absolute garbage. What is everyone looking forward too?? I’m mostly looking forward to warmer weather and all the things that come along with that.
I’m fine with the cold but I can’t wait for more sunshine. I keep feeling like the day is over when work wraps up at 5 or 6. I’ve heard birds chirping the last couple mornings, which is a nice sign.
I’m normally totally okay with the cold as long as there’s some sun but it’s been so, so cold here. There’s been lots of sun lately but it’s such a cruel tease. Yes, it’s sunny! No, you can’t go outside!
Totally know what you mean about feeling like the day is over once work ends. I leave when the sun is starting to set and my commute is almost all underground, so by the time I emerge it’s pitch dark and I’m like “GUESS IT’S TIME FOR BED.”
Warmer weather is pretty much the #1 thing I am looking forward to. Just being able to wear fewer than two layers of long underwear underneath my clothes would be A++ right now. I keep daydreaming about melting snow and new leaves on the trees. Yesterday morning I thought it seemed a little warmer, and the sun was definitely brighter … And then in the afternoon it snowed.
Just being able to wear fewer than two layers of long underwear underneath my clothes would be A++ right now.
Same. The thought of being able to slip my feet into a pair of flats instead of 2 pairs of socks and massive boots seems like a wild fever dream right now.
I am so tired of wool socks and the one pair of shoes that both fit the wool socks and I don’t mind if they get wrecked by the salt.
Ohmygosh, I forgot about the shoe situation! Every time I go downstairs to take out the trash, I slip into my sandals and the feeling of unencumbered-ness is SO GOOD. When it’s snowy I wear my Dr Martens pretty much exclusively – they make excellent snow boots, but having what amounts to two snowplows on your feet gets old pretty quickly.
I’m fine with snow, but FUCK ALL THIS ICE. My insurance isn’t good enough to help me if I slip and fall and break something, so here I am walking around like a little old lady with tiny fearful steps everywhere, all the time, for fucking months on end, with my face bowed down like a droopy depressed person, but no, I’m just looking out because of the fucking ice. I won’t be able to walk upright with my head held high and my long loose stride until spring. Which is never. Spring is not coming.
In one week I’m going on a week-long vacation, and I cannot wait. It will be partially in warmer climes (San Diego) and partially not (skiing in CO), but it will be all great.
Me toooooo. Arizona is the perfect antidote to Chicago winter. As long as Tuesday’s weather doesn’t get in my way.
ARIZONA! We are escaping frozen Ontario for Arizona on Wednesday.
phoenix is cold and rainy and cloudy by local standards and it’s kinda bumming me out but on Saturday we met some people visiting from Kansas and they were all like “OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER! YOU HAVE NO SNOW! WE ARE WEARING SHORTS!!!” so that bit of perspective was nice. not that i’m not still wearing a scarf today but, yeah, it could be worse.
come all ye Toasties and enjoy our weather 🙂
I’m looking forward to getting these tights and these tights that I bought this week. I’m doing my best to avoid dressing like a socially-acceptable 45-year-old and I think those will help in that endeavor.
I’m tired of having to do extra laundry because of the tall socks I need for cold weather (I wear skirts and tights, don’t try to change me). I already have a new terry-fleece dress (so comfy) for wearing with bare legs! So wishful, am I.
This is tied to warmer weather, but I’m looking forward to my soccer league starting up again in 3 weeks! I’m so tired of the cold-induced laziness that has afflicted me for the past two months.
I’m looking forward to ALL THIS SNOW MELTING. It isn’t really that cold, so I don’t mind that, but the last two weeks have literally been nothing but snowstorms. I live in the south, it’s very unfair to expect me to have to shovel that often.
But more seriously, I like longer days and I’m ready for it to be light outside a bit later.
So much to look forward to, especially in May!
April: Decemberists and Mountain Goats concerts
May: a friend’s wedding, my alma mater’s commencement weekend (I’m visiting even though I graduated 2 years ago because I still have friends there and my three best friends are going as well), and MOVING OUT OF MY TERRIBLE LIVING SITUATION.
June: Another friend’s wedding and my birthday!
Just gotta get through March, the month of Nothing Exciting At All.
March is the month that daffodils show up at Trader Joe’s for super cheap! Also ranunculus and tulips. Even if it’s snowy outside, I can have sunshine in my apartment! (hope we do get some snow or Utah is in for a really rough summer)
I am SO DOWN to talk about food. Let’s talk about about GERMAN FOOD. Why do ppl think it’s bad when it is THE BEST FOOD EVARRR. Wienschnitzel! Jaegerschnitzel with mushroom cream sauce! Spaetzle! German potato salad. DOENER KEBAP!!! Discuss.
Giant beers and pretzels…mmm flashbacks to Munich now. My grandmother was from Germany and my grandfather’s family is Italian, so we’d always get very meat-heavy takes on Italian food.
GIVE ME ALL THE WEISSWURST AND NOBODY GETS HURT
I just went to the newish local biergarten last week for schnitzel and spaetzle! (And beer!) Boyfriend had no idea what either were despite being a pretty food-y kind of guy. Shocking!
I am jealous! I live in a small city that, sadly, hasn’t yet recognized its need for a Biergarten or German food of any kind. I am moving away soon, ostensibly for Life Reasons but also because no wienerschnitzel.
That’s a legit reason to move imho.
I tried schnitzel a la holstein for the first time this past summer and it was delicious, and I am a big fan of all non-veal schnitzel. Oooh, and spaetzle when done well is so amazing and I love it. I plan on going out for German on my next pilgrimage to the big city for CostCo items in a couple weeks and I cannot wait to eat all the schnitzel I can.
I’ve stopped eating meat since the last time I went to Germany, but you could just give me a plate of Semmelknödel mit Rotkohl and I’d be a happy camper. I’m also in the market for a good vegetarian sauerbraten recipe.
I have the classic cookbooks from Dr. Oetker (Schulkochbuch and Backen Macht Freude) but I haven’t cooked anything from them in years! Maybe I should before the weather starts getting warmer again…
My dude and I made spaetzle for Valentine’s day! It was really good, but our technique is seriously lacking when you compare it to the grannies that post videos on YouTube.
Also, we have a German restaurant in our town now and it’s amazing because I’m a vegetarian and they have tons of food for me! I’m so thankful. I’d KILL ANYONE for their kurbsisuppe right now.
There’s a grannies making spaetzle thing on YouTube? That is amazing and delightful.
You haven’t even gotten to the sweets yet. Dampfnudeln, get in my belly.
Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte: first in my heart, first in my stomach, first in sounding kind of like a sneeze.
KAISERSCHMARRN tho!
Oh lord I had cheese spaetzle with caramelized onions the other night and i want to cry just remembering it. Amazing.
ooo gosh I love German (especially Bavarian) food. My parents are coming out here this spring and they’re hitting Munich for a couple of days after they leave me (they’re following a band around) and even though it’s totally impractical for me to join them there I kind of want to anyway just for weißwurst and schweinshaxe ad Weihenstephaner.
Rote Grütze! That is The Best!
I’m planning kaesespaetzle for Sunday dinner! Love German/Austrian food!
I am going to see Jupiter Ascending for the second time tonight, this time in 3D, and am eating delicious amazing pizza and gelato first and I can’t wait.
My comfort food is toast- big thick slabs of dense rustic-y bread, golden brown, smeared with butter. I could easily live on toast, cheese, the occasional piece of fruit (on top of toast, with cheese melted on top), chocolate, and beer/wine. I will also confess to the occasional driving need for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, or top ramen.
JA in 3D is amazing. The bees and all of the fight scenes are a little overwhelming in just the right way.
also, i feel you HARD on kraft mac and ramen.
I finally got both of your cards! The tiny one was especially adorable <3
Yay!
JA – what is up with that movie, how can I have so many opinions about it and still just basically daydream about it all the time??
Same!
No Fallen London thread yet? I got a tattoo this week! I would never get one IRL (too chicken) so I was really glad to give my character one. If you want one, make sure you do it before the end of the Feast.
I got a tattoo too! Mine is the Diamond, but it was hard to pick.
This week I finally managed to breed a Hound of Heaven, had several misadventures on the Unterzee, and finished The Affair of the Box (for now).
I got the Gift one b/c I made the wrong choices in that story and didn’t enjoy it very much. So I needed to get something good out of it! Hooray for your Hound of Heaven! It looks real creepy.
Where do you get the tattoos?
The Lady in Lilac has a temporary caravanserai set up in the Forgotten Quarter!
Is that the escaped blemmigan storyline?
No, I think the blemmigan story is new content that’s not associated with the Feast of the Exceptional Rose.
Thanks! For some reason I can’t find her- maybe it was extremely temporary?
According to the wiki you need “Entwined in the Intrigues of the Clathermont Family” 30 to unlock it.
Aha! You can also get there, I’ve just discovered, by visiting Claremont- he starts you on a story to take you there.
I waffled between four for days, and eventually decided to celebrate randomness by getting the Devilbone Dice. I too would never get one IRL but look forward to getting Theoretta all tatted up every year.
Other than that, it is all bats, all the time – my Chiroptomantic Sign of the Zodiac is The Bat, and I’m siding with the bats in the Wars of Illusion. Anything else bat-related I should be checking out?
On the first week of Rose-Feast, my True Toasts sent to me:
Eleven Jars of Teeth a-chattering
Nine Racy Mushroom Poetry Volumes a-flustering
FIIIIIIIIIVE PAAAIIIIIINTED CAAAAAAAATS
Two Buttered Chess Pieces
One Kettle of Tongues
One Singed Playing Card
And a Deeeeeead Baaaaaaat tee-hee-heeeee
All right I actually got the dead bat from an opportunity card. But thanks to everyone who exchanged gifts with me! The Lady in Lilac can open the world’s most bizarre dental prosthesis shop with everything I gave her.
Oh Cordelia, I loved your poem that you sent me with the delicious pink cat!
“Roses are pink
Moggies are too
And the one in this box
Is especially for you.”
I’m glad! 😀 Everything about those cats is perfect. “The box to which it must submit smells unsuitably of peppermints.” YES
I was simultaneously sad to give mine up and relieved to be rid of their too-accurate glowering.
Ooh, I got a tattoo too! Also, I’m now a PoSI! so now I have a lot of new stories open to me. Most of them requiring a lot of resources.
Is anyone else in the Moon League? I’m StephanieBing and I need someone to FIGHT.
I am! I’m Renata Mangiafuoco. At the moment, I’m fighting someone else, but you can get in line.
I am! Fayezer- but I’m currently formless.
I’ve been grinding my Shadowy up toward 100 all week, and I got so focused on keeping my Suspicion to manageable levels (thank you, many Toasties who have accepted my “I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE. ON THE MOON. WASHING MY HAIR.” social actions this week) that I completely failed to notice my Scandal was at, like, 7.9 and long story short now I’m in the Tomb-Colonies again. On the bright side, I got to renew my dalliance with the Once-Dashing Smuggler.
Ha I wondered about that!
My mom slipped and fell on some ice yesterday and broke her wrist. Her right wrist, and she’s right handed. She’s not sure how safe she’ll feel driving with just her left, and she won’t really be able to cook, or type, or do a lot of things. I feel super helpless, because I’m more than 200 miles away and it doesn’t make sense for me to come home and visit before Passover, the first weekend of April.
My dad is … not much of a cook. That’s my biggest concern, is that my poor mother will basically be forced to eat not-so-good food while she’s recovering, which won’t help anything. I’ve already told her that I’ll handle all the cooking for the Passover seder if we host, and that I’ll do as much prep work as possible so that they can have leftovers in the fridge when I’m gone. But I’m trying to figure out what I can do in the meantime. I don’t have a ton of money to work with, and we keep a kosher kitchen, which limits things further. I’m thinking that I’ll bake a few extra loaves of challah this weekend and mail them to my parents, so they can keep eating homemade challah while she’s not able to make it? And something sweet for my mom too. Any other suggestions for a care package for a mother with a broken wrist?
Can you make or buy some crock pot bean soup mixes? They’re the only mailable food prep thing I can think of, but bean soup and bread is a delicious, more-or-less complete meal, and if they have a crock pot then it’s super easy and I’m sure your dad can handle it. Some of the commercial ones are quite salty, but I’m sure there are recipes online.
Y’all, I’m so over February. Let’s just punch February in the face and move on to spring.
I’m so happy about the dress meme though, because this week was long and intense and frustrating and I really needed to laugh at something! Makes me want to dig out my old French Absurdist theatre texts (I wrote a thesis on this stuff, because I’m a nerd bye) because the reactions to that dress meme could stand up to Ionesco.
But boy. This week. My best friend is clearly going through something heavy, but doesn’t want to open up and talk about it. Another friend, whom I don’t know as well but care for a lot, is in the hospital. It’s just… rough. Last week I wrote about trying to write again, because that centers me, but it’s been tough to stick to that this week.
I have been waiting for Friday Open Thread for days, because I need someone to tell about how my working life seems to be really headed uphill, but most of the people I know are kind of unhappy in their careers at the moment so it seems mean to gush to them. I’m a woman in a STEM field and it has really not been easy to feel respected, but I’ve been working at this new job for six months now and it feels like night and day. My boss is really impressed with me and keeps putting me in charge of things and making me lead of initiatives, largely because he says that I am very good at building consensus and collaboration and respect especially with other women from sometimes-opposing groups. And then this week I got accepted to be a member of a federal expert panel reviewing regulations for the entire seaboard!
One of the best things is that one of my coworkers, who I have to work with closely despite his general uselessness and misogyny, has started getting passed over for stuff in favour of me because he seems permanently angry, aggressive, and egotistical and refuses to treat women in authority with anything other than disdain. It’s nice to once, just once, see a white man get passed over in favour of a woman in this field because of his entitled attitude.
Yay! This is so great. Having a good boss who sees your worth and advocates for you makes such an amazingly huge difference.
That is amazing!!! You sound amazing. Keep up the awesome. 🙂
Fantastic!
Feelings dump because I don’t have any safe place to talk about this:
I think I have Complex PTSD??? I saw a list of the symptoms and behaviors yesterday, and it was like reading the story of my life. But… while I know I was emotionally and verbally abused throughout my childhood, I feel like the abuse wasn’t extensive enough for me to have developed CPTSD as a result. I struggle with feeling like the abuse wasn’t actually abuse, because I deserved it. I don’t know.
I’m sure that intellectually you may already know this but maybe it’s harder to accept emotionally, so just to confirm: You absolutely did NOT deserve any emotional or verbal abuse as a child. Not ANY.
This is a hard, hard place to be in.
Of course you did not deserve it. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. I know saying that often does not make a dent in the feelings, but now that I am a parent I can safely say that there are no children in the world who deserve to be treated that way.
As for the ‘extensive enough’ — human beings are really, really different. Parenting our kids, we as a system see that things which just bounce off of one kid, go in deep and really do damage with another. You are you, and what hurt you is what hurt you, it does not have to be ‘enough’. If two kids jump off a roof, and one breaks their leg and the other does not, we do not tell the one with a broken leg — sorry, your leg isn’t *really* broken!
If you want to talk about it more we are here and listening.
++++1
Hey there. There’s no bar you have to pass to qualify, okay? If you got it, you got it. End of story.
Also even if you don’t got it, you got something, and you’re realizing that, and I think that’s a brave and important and smart and loving thing for you to be doing for yourself. Kudos.
You’re safe here, because everyone’s safe here, but much as we love you we’re not all that you need right now, I think. Speaking up is a great step and I’m impressed that you are, and also I hope that you find you can take it further and find trained counseling / support.
And finally – and most importantly! – you DID NOT DESERVE IT. You did not deserve it. It was wrong and it should never have happened to you. It was not your fault and you bear NO PART of the responsibility. Even if your actions are ones you wouldn’t condone now, away from the abuse, they were the actions of a victim of abuse and were born from within that system, which YOU never put yourself in to start with. You were a child. You deserved safety. YOU DID NOT DESERVE ABUSE.
My love language is Doing Research: http://www.outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/CPT…
If it’s any consolation, I think it’s somewhat common for a person to dismiss their experiences: it wasn’t THAT bad, I’ve heard worse, etc. But your reality is real.
Are you able to see a doctor or counselor about it?
I love everyone here. Toasts are the best people.
Not really an internet commenter, but I made an account just to reply to this. I had the same realization a few weeks ago, that my behaviors mirrored the ones described for CPTSD. I feel the same way, that my abuse wasn’t serious enough to be called abuse, that I deserved what happened to me and that it shouldn’t have effected my life in the way that it did.
I’ve spent my life emotionally numbing and downplaying my problems to try to make myself feel better. Acknowledging what happened has been so hard and I’m so scared that if I tell someone they’ll dismiss my experience like I do to myself. So far I’ve told a few close friends and they’ve been nothing but supportive, but it’s still scary to think about telling someone else. It’s so hard that I just want to delete everything I’ve written here and sink back into anonymity. Just typing this right now, I feel like I’m detaching from my body.
Thank you for posting this, seeing someone else talk about this has made me feel less alone.
I am so glad you have had some people to listen to you, and that it has gone so well.
I was thinking just now that I have known very, very many people with PTSD (including people in my system!) and none of them started out in a place where they believed that what they had gone through was ‘enough’ to cause them difficulty, or be considered ‘real abuse’. No matter how black & white it looked to people on the outside, I think for the person on the inside there is always this struggle to figure out that it really did matter.
unrelated to food but I feel the Toast commentariat will appreciate this interaction I had on the subway this morning. There’s this dude I see on the A train pretty frequently in the mornings and today he asked me what I was reading. I’m reading Ellison’s The Invisible Man. This is a Book that Everyone Should Know, no? Anywho, I say the title, receive a blank stare, elaborate on who Ellison is, still a blank stare. He looks at the back, sees the Saul Bellow blurb and goes “it looks good. at least I know who Saul Bellow is.” In my head I respond: you’re a white dude on the A train, of course you know who Bellow is. He then asks if I’m reading anything else and I say yes, Melissa Gira Grants The Work of Sex work which he also doesn’t know. With a somewhat awestruck face he goes “that’s a heavy list” and I say “yup, that’s may jam” and get off the train.
TL;DR I intimidated a man on the subway with my reading materials.
WTF isn’t The Invisible Man on everybody’s high school reading list??
Have only heard of it on the internet, tbh, never read it. Don’t know what its about in any detail, just that it’s a “racism” themed book.
YESSSS. And yeah, Invisible Man is most definitely a Book Everyone Should Know.
excellent work
also how was this dudebro allowed out of high school without reading The Invisible Man???
I will admit, I hadn’t heard of it until now, and we didn’t read it in high school either (even in AP Lit).
(me either!)
thank you!
real talk: I somehow managed to graduate from high school without reading The Invisible Man BUT I knew what it was/who Ellison was and I am reading it now to rectify that hole in my education
We didn’t have to read this book in high school! But we took all our English in summer school so we didn’t have to read anything. 🙂
At least I have *heard* of it.
Tangentially, the Work of Sex Work is excellent+vital+a very quick read. Enjoy!
Yea!
I’m really enjoying it. I saw Gira Grant speak on a panel last summer; she was super thoughtful and articulate and made me want to read the book. By the time I actually got around to requesting the library had a copy which was great luck.
I love you
yay Lucy !
Last week on the train a dude started talking to me, and I couldn’t tell if he was flirting with me but he was kindof irritating, so I started talking about my murdering thieving character in Skyrim and how great it feels to sneak up and stab somebody.
He got a lot quieter after that *high fives self*
LOL. Think you dodged a bullet there.
I went to a used bookstore on a date a few weeks ago. It was pretty great because I didn’t talk to the guy for about two hours (I’m not into him), just browsed. I came away with two Oliver Sacks books and a book called “Person or Chattel?: The Status of Women in the Mishnah.” He looked at the title and said “Ok, I know what SOME of those words mean…”
Yeah, it’s never going to work out with someone who won’t at least listen to me rant about feminist Judaism/Jewish feminism.
You are a reigning badass. I love it.
How does he know Saul Bellow but not Ellison???
Racism?
(PS I like your username)
Once some guy in a bar asked what I was reading, and I showed him the cover, and it was Jane Eyre.
And he was like “oh, never heard of it. I love to read.”
And I was like
(god, it took me ages to find that gif)
I’m eating two pork chops (wet-brined for the first time; planning to do dry-brine next time) and a whole roasted onion for lunch. This is winter.
you are truly a 17th c. farmer
It was Ric Flair’s birthday earlier this week, which brought up a burning question from my childhood: what, exactly, is a “nature boy?”
As far as food goes, one of my favorite foods is something we call a loco moco – it’s a bed of rice, and on top of it is a hamburger patty, and on top of that is an egg (I like mine sunny side up), and then you cover everything in brown gravy. It’s pretty great.
Loco moco is SO GOOD.
I literally just read about loco moco for the first time two weeks ago. Very excited to try and make a Boca loco moco with mushroom gravy, and I don’t think being hungry afterward will be a problem. That day, or possibly ever again.
I made that after seeing it on Man Vs Food. Loved it.
That’s right, they went to Honolulu! I had forgotten. There’s a place here that puts crazy toppings on their loco mocos, like chicken katsu and some spam along with the hamburger. And it’s awesome.
Talk to me about the finale of Parks and Rec please. I got so emotional and teary-eyed over it that I could hardly believe it.
I nominate this among the better series finales, right up there with Six Feet Under.
I laughed, hard. I got sad. I was so emotionally vulnerable afterwards. It was perfect. I’m so happy.
That finale wrecked me. I was so much more emotional than I expected. I know I need to watch it again because I missed so much but I’m not sure I’m emotionally ready yet.
I love that it was unapologetically happy. And that we had the Johnny Karate episode just before it to get a bunch of jokes in before the lovefest.
Favorite character story? I’m going with Donna’s. 1. Donna! 2. Perfectly true to character. Like, she was never portrayed as selfish for treating herself before, and the new project wasn’t a total 180. 3. It was a nice contrast to the “they got married and/or had kids” stories. I’m glad April showed up to help her out, because the April storyline didn’t have much time for the other stuff she was doing with her life.
Also, I love that the “this person is terrible” characters (Jamm, Jean-Ralphio, etc) still get to be happy in their futures even if their futures are totally ridiculous.
My 1 criticism was that everyone’s stories were “they got married/had kids.” I was kind of sad that they didn’t show any love to ending up single and that so much emphasis was put on kids.
There’s a director’s cut online that I haven’t had time to watch yet but apparently it gives even more futures for side characters.
Yeah, same. I got mad when Andy said “April’s still on the fence” or whatever, because she had just said “you know how I feel about this.” That’s not on the fence!!!
hmm, I took that as “how I feel” = “undecided,” but it still bugged me. I feel like the writers could have done a great full episode on the subject, but it felt so rushed as is. And just, like, inevitable that they would decide yes to kids once the subject came up. And we didn’t get to see what else Andy is doing with his life! I bet he is doing something awesome/hilarious on top of dadding.
Ron’s story felt like what a happily single/kidfree person’s life would look like, actually. If you didn’t know he had a family it wouldn’t affect how perfectly he ended up.
It did seem like they had to rush through the Andy/April/Kids storyline and it’s too bad bc I agree there could have been a great full episode on the subject! Leslie’s advice to April was less-than-convincing, but Andy wanting kids seemed true enough to me. I love the show so much overall that I gave myself permission to ignore this bit and assume there were some intense off-screen talks.
Exactly. And now that I’ve definitely overthought the subject, April being indecisive and slowly but ultimately enthusiastically coming around to a decision is very much in character. I still really want to know what Andy is up to in the future.
Yeah me too! I was a bit disappointed that April and Andy had kids, because it didn’t seem like their thing, you know? But at least Donna and Joe didn’t have kids and they started doing a kickass charity which is awesome.
Yeah, but their charity was still aimed at kids so I still kind of lump them into the “kids are great!!” ending group. Not that it’s not a great charity!
yeah, even one little line (or one from Tom/Lucy) about how they’re happy without `em would have been a nice touch.
Is it wrong that I assume Craig & Typhoon are without kids?
No, but I don’t count them as core characters. That was my other beef- the only 2 gay characters end up together! Surprise! (eye roll)
I was so sad but so happy because it was so lovely. What a fantastic show, I will miss it so much (by which I mean I will periodically watch it all again and revel in it).
I WEPT OPENLY AND SOBBED FOR MANY DAYS and decided to become president also. of what? unclear. maybe canada? president of canada. sounds reasonable.
LESLIE CAN DO IT. Leslie can do anything. THAT MEANS I CAN DO ANYTHING TOO. \o/
I loved it so much. It’s always been such a positive show and I’m so glad they decided to pop into the future to show everyone having happy lives and staying touch. On any other show it would have seemed too sappy and indulgent, but it felt right for Parks and Rec. I also love the implication that Leslie becomes president after her two terms as governor of Indiana. I would absolutely vote for Leslie Knope for president.
For the first ~10 minutes or so I wasn’t digging the format and thought, “maybe they’re not going to pull off a great finale after all”… and then was quickly proven VERY VERY WRONG. I mean, how could I possibly have doubted the Parks & Rec writers/cast.
The AV Club recap really captured THE FEELS that the finale gave me about passage of time in my own life. I have some life changes coming up later in the year and (as crazy/strange as this sounds), the episode made me feel TOTALLY READY to take on new challenges. ANY challenge. It’s normal for TV to have that effect on people… right?
Oh my god, I am still processing all of it. I cried so many times through the episode, and then I cried for a while after it was done. I probably need to rewatch it a few more times for it to sink in.
(Spoilers below? But I guess this whole thread is full of spoilers, so whatevs.)
In rewatching the whole run: during Leslie’s trial, April starts yelling BEAVERS DID IT, alleging that Ethel Beavers had a relationship that went against policy. As it turns out, she was having an affair with her boss! WHOA
WHAT *runs away to rewatch*
Also, omg, Ethel’s relevatory speech was so good. I loved it and I love the three of them.
It was all so great! 🙂
No Dr. Richard Neygard appearance?
Also, I guess the show officially retconned Brandanaquitz out of the history of Pawnee. Was hoping they’d at least make a joke out of it in the final episode?
Still, I loved it to death.
Toastonomians! How do you keep your bra straps from falling down? When I buy a new bra, they work for a couple days, and then they just keep sliding down and spend probably 70% of the time around my upper arms. And I can’t afford a new bra every week, and even if I could I would spend that money on booze and weed and comic books like an adult. So! Is there a secret to not having to reach into my shirt in a super-professional manner all the time, or do I need to start literally tying the straps together somehow?
Sorry to ask a dumb and obvious question, but are you tightening the straps all the way? If they’re fully tightened, you might want to sew them into the right position/length.
I think so? They’re not, like, tight-tight, but they feel pretty firm.
This used to happen to me, like sewing_bee the problem went away when I finally started wearing the right size bra.
Same here – I wore a 34B, maybe 36B? and then tried a 32DD and no more falling down! I think you need to try a new size.
But I already haaaad my size epiphany! What do you mean sometimes you have to try a couple solutions to a problem before it’s actually fixed?!?
Bras are the woooOOOOOooooOOrst, I’m sorry!
The. Worst. But it’s about time for some new ones anyway, so maybe I’ll go to a different place to get fitted this time & see what happens.
Usually it’s a sizing issue for me, too, but there are some where the straps are just too slippy or the adjuster thing just too slidey so on those I adjust them perfectly then take them off & put a couple of stitches under the adjuster thing so it can’t go anywhere, which keeps the strap from loosening as I wear it.
If racerback or convertible brastraps are an option for you in terms of the shirts you wear, I would suggest you try them! Straps that cross in the back feel a little different at first but they really stay put.
Also they sell converter clips for regular bras. I’ve used the ones from Hollywood Fashion Secrets (worst brand name ever?) and they do a good job keeping my straps in place.
I have to keep tightening them every few weeks so they don’t gradually loosen and start slipping.
As everyone said, size could be the issue — too-big band size is a major loose-straps culprit, so it’s a common problem for people who have been advised to buy a “sister size” by a store that doesn’t carry quite your size (like, they don’t have 36D so they want to sell you a 38C — it’s true that the cup volume will be about right, but the straps will be a little off and will tend to fall down).
It could also just be the shape of your shoulders, though, which is what ultimately turned out to be my problem. I mostly just put up with it, but the next time I have a chunk of time off I plan to spend some of it putting strap carriers in some of my work shirts.
I’m sure what everyone else said is right, but also I just don’t give a shit about adjusting my bra straps any more. I mean, I won’t do it in an important meeting, but at my desk or in the hall at work? No problem.
I mean, it’s just clothes. And my boobs are…people will notice them regardless, basically, is what I’m saying.
My horse has apparently turned into a mountain goat.
I see your horse’s paddock is appropriately minimalistic and free of clutter. Maybe he is ascending to a higher plane of existence now that he has reached enlightenment.
Her paddock is full of mud, another horse and more mud so she had a bit of naked time in the arena after I rode!
Is that a lentil-sofa I see in the background?
ADORABLE!
It’s like he’s being Raptured or something.
Pegasus!
If I could photoshop, I would totally be putting wings on this one.
I’ve been slowly working through a list of one pot meals (see below). I generally cook for me and then something different for roomie.
I’ve tried the Lentils and Sausage, Lamb Curry, Pisto, and Moroccan Chicken.
Out of those four, the Lentils were the best tasting. If you can find British style sausages, do that. I will likely try and find some locally made sausages made with potato.
I have confirmed with the pisto, although it was good and I will make it again, my distaste for smoked paprika. It will be the last time I force myself to try and like it. Next time I will use just plain sweet with a bit of hot paprika. Pisto an excellent way to get rid of a bunch of veg you don’t know what to do with.
The Moroccan chicken was weird. I liked the chicken but the couscous was just vile. Maybe it was my couscous, but I ended up throwing away a giant pot of it because I couldn’t palate it. I’ve made and enjoyed couscous in the past so I don’t even understand what happened. I might make the chicken part again and serve it over rice.
The Lamb Curry was bland and boring. He wasn’t kidding when he said it was inauthentic. I will probably look for a better recipe for something similar.
Tiella is next on my list and then the Noodles. I don’t know if I’ll be able to make the pork belly pot-au-feu, since I can’t find it unsliced in my neck of Washington.
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/…
You can definitely cut corners on some of these recipes. I am certain I paid much less than 10 pounds a meal for everything I cooked.
I also made a big pot of Greek Lemon Egg soup because I was feeling mopey and needed something bright in my life.
One-pot cooking is THE BEST.
One pot meals! I just bought a cast-iron dutch oven so I am very excited for easier one pot mealing. This weekend I am going to try this pulled pork recipe: http://thehealthyfoodie.com/apple-squash-pork-cas… (I am not paleo but it looks good).
I came this close to quitting my job Wednesday and I was pretty upset about that, and apparently this was Eating Disorder Awareness week which is really funny because my ED issues have been all up in my face lately and TBH this OT is not helping but now all I can think about is that Leonard Nimoy is dead and this is pretty much a shit week and I just want to go home, close the curtains and get seriously fucked up.
<3
<3<3<3
same @ that dog, always
You are perfect.
Please give yourself whatever you truly need and, above all, be kind to yourself. I understand wanted to get fucked up. Please do so in moderation with someone who will watch over you. I hope you feel better soon.
Toastinies, I need to tell you about my amazing evening last night! I realized that I am queer(bi) a few years ago, but have been in a relationship with a man ever since and not really made the effort to get to know the queer scene in my city. But yesterday I went to a queer performance/concert thing with great acts and great music and so many beautiful and dapper butch women and it was such a revelation! A fashion revelation in fact – I realized that despite my preference for more masculine clothing, I have still been wearing dresses to more formal occasions just to avoid standing out. After last night I say – no more!
I am going to a ball in about a month and will be wearing pants, a black top with a lapelfree black blazer, shiny black budapesters and lots of chunky silver jewelery. I am going to look fantastic.
Tell me about your newly discovered fashion preferences!
I’ve recently started incorporating a (wearable) post-apocalyptic vibe. Lots of slouchy/tight combos, slubby textures, and pretty much All Knits All The Time. It helps that gray and olive green are two of my favorite colors. I started a Pinterest board for it if you want to check out the sorts of things I mean: https://www.pinterest.com/clevermanka/
So far, it’s fun and oh god so comfortable. Not sure how to carry it off through summer since it’s kind of reliant on layering, but I’ll figure that out when it’s NOT eight degrees fahrenheit out there.
Comfortable is the key characteristic of everything I want to wear. This means sweatpants all weekend except if I’m going out (which I mostly avoid, as it requires changing out of said sweatpants), and collarless wide blouses during the week – comfy and fancy!
I have recently realized that I love wearing ties. Not bowties, because they make me look even more like a twelve-year-old than usual, but regular long ones. I haven’t yet gotten up the nerve to wear tie and blazer to a work event, but I have worn them to social events and it is awesome. I really have nothing against dresses and am perfectly happy to wear them most times, but sometimes I just want to wear a vest and/or jacket and tie. Have fun with the masculine formal dress!
Women rockin’ ties and oxfords are hot and amazing and yes yes yes! I have a fairly extensive vintage tie collection (late 40s to early 60s), and I recommend them if you’re a small-shouldered lady. They’re both narrower and shorter than modern ties and I think they fit my proportions better.
I currently only own one tie, one vest, and one blazer, so I definitely need to expand on that and will take your advice. The one tie is from TopMan and is a skinny tie, so it’s pretty well-proportioned for me. Though the first time I wore it with my blazer, a dude friend mansplained to me about how they didn’t go because the lapels were wider than the tie and I was like “DUDE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS STUFF, I AM A GIRL” and then he calmed down and taught me lots of obscure things about ties.
I LOVE reading about menswear and “rules.” The thing you learn is that a lot of it is “good taste” but also just what looks good on you. You learn that a lot is just your eye for proportions. A lot of men disagree on all kinds of things in this arena, and it’s fascinating.
At a certain point, when you get more confident, I think stuff like “mismatching” your tie width to your lapel width can become a genuine expression of personal style rather than a “mistake.” Most of the best menswear dressers I’ve seen are people who have quirks while a grasp of what’s the conventional taste, and can push the envelope.
Hope you have so much fun! 😀
How cool! Good friend.
Honestly, though, I feel like women can get away with not following all of the stickier rules that apply to menswear. Basic things like fit are universal, but the more obscure rules–meh. Heck, I even let the cuff-length thing slide because most of the time I’m wearing my sleeves rolled up.
Obviously this doesn’t hold true if you’re in a formal environment or actually rocking a full suit, though. Obviously. =D
I’ve been coveting a tie for a long time now. The problem is finding good dress shirts that fit! Argh.
Banana Republic’s non-iron fitted shirts work well for me! I am not particularly well-endowed, though, so I don’t have too many struggles with button-downs.
Ooh, okay, I will check them out! I shop a lot online and BR has a good return policy, so I’m into that. I don’t consider myself well-endowed either (I’d say a B in American sizing; I’m a DD/E in Swedish/European sizing), but it’s funny how much of a struggle button-downs can be.
I am beginning to add lots of loose flowy things and elaborate jewelry into my wardrobe. Apparently I am channeling my inner Stevie Nicks.
Okay, so don’t laugh too hard? But the Pyramid Collection actually has some amazing clothes these days. I want this jacket SO MUCH.
No clue what’s up with the HTML errors, sorry. Here’s the link: http://www.pyramidcollection.com/itemdy00.aspx?T1…
this sounds super hot.
thanks, I am excited! 🙂 I’ve got everything except the pants.. I am picturing something like what Illana wore on Letterman:
ETA: hm, I’ve messed up the html, but here’s a link: Illana
I’ve discovered over the past year or two that I really like tube skirts and pencil skirts and deeper neckline, really just bolder and more body hugging styles than I ever felt confident enough to wear before. Plus, fire engine red is apparently my thing now. I used to dress pretty androgynously, but more out of apathy and lack of confidence than because I really liked the look, so femme-ing it up has been really fun!
I made this discovery with pants! I always used to wear really baggy jeans, and though I still like the look I realized at some point that my ass looks great in tight jeans 🙂 I like playing with contrasts, e.g. tight jeans and chunky jewellery with a military-style “masculine” shirt, short hair and minimal makeup.
I used to totally hate very girly lacy stuff, but all of a sudden I seem to want to dress like a snowflake fairy princess all the time.
This is my favorite sweater right now, worn with leggings and semi-clompy Clark books: http://spool72.com/collections/tops/products/skyl…
and I’m a bit obsessed with this, which would make me feel like a sassy 1800’s single lady schoolteacher in the west with beautiful updos and a rifle behind the door, but can’t yet justify the $60: http://spool72.com/collections/tops/products/lace…
I like the contrast between the chunkiness of the sweater and the “girly” laces! and when I looked at the other top it was $46? go for it!
I got an IUD last week for $0 thanks to my new insurance. The installation was terrible for about 1 full minute (broken up into 15 second segments) and then mild cramping that night, v minor cramping next day.
Also, I’m trying to plan a trip to Paris and London with my mom this Sept/Oct and I’m having sort of a terrible time finding good airfares. I know it’s early, but does anyone have any tips?
I haunted Google Flights, which I find a good search of multiple airlines. I got a ticket with (EDIT) Icelandair for under $800 from Toronto in September, which is decent. It’s good to start early so you can get a sense of how the prices have been going up and down and when to pull the trigger.
Google flights is fantastic! I love their charts.
I highly recommend Momondo for flights. That’s what I used for my flight to Amsterdam last year, and I saved a few hundred bucks. Good luck! What do you want to do in Paris and London?
We’re going to Paris to do the typical tourist stuff and for Fete de la Gastronomie and then scooting (via train?) to London for a few days to sight see and watch Benedict Cumberbatch in Hamlet.
I’ve had good luck with Kayak and Hipmunk in the past.
Congrats on the IUD!!! I love my little sperm destroyer like no other. And I am seconding Kayak, helped me find a very decent price on a flight rather last minute.
If you are near Baltimore or Boston WOW airlines have crazy cheap flights routing through Iceland, though I think they are one of those super-budget lines with all of the according caveats about space/extra fees. Source: I found out about this literally four days after I threw a terrifying amount of money at Air France. At least I’ll get free champagne and sleep more comfortably?
I will add that if you fly with Icelandair, where I found they skimp is the check-in counter at the airport. In Paris, it was NOT open early enough at all — like two hours. So they built up a crazy huge line of people trying to get onto an international flight at a major airport!
Show up early and stake out your spot in the line. I felt really bad for the people at the end of our line.
And pilots. I once flew an Icelandair flight that couldn’t land in Boston because there was fog and the pilot hadn’t been trained for fog. So we landed in Manchester NH and waited in the airplane for a more experienced pilot and flight crew to DRIVE up in a car from Boston to take over the plane.
We were an international flight and Manchester has no international passport/customs people, so we were not allowed off the airplane and we all waited on the plane for 2 hours without water or food — including babies. !!
I still sometimes take Icelandair, but am very very wary.
I’m going to be in DC for work the second week of March. I’ll pretty much be doing work things during the day, but where should I go? What should I eat?
Give me a little more to go on and I will knock your face off with recs. Fancy, casual? drinks? near metro or you don’t mind cabs? Special interests?
I have been eating cinnamon toast more than at any time since childhood — but in an improvement on the cinnamon toast of childhood, I broil the bread (we don’t have a toaster), butter it, shake on the cinnamon sugar, then put it under the broiler again until it bubbles. It’s marvelous, especially with a cup of hot chocolate.
Cinnamon toast! I spike my cinnamon sugar with cloves, and its wondrous.
Ooh, great idea. I will be trying this soon.
Ooh, good idea!
That is the best way to make cinnamon toast. I use my toaster oven instead of broiler, but the “replace toast in toaster” trick just about blew my boyfriend’s mind the first time I did it for him.
Toaster ovens are the only way to toast :). I just butter the bread first then toast.
Yeeeah, I can for sure see why Mom, who was probably making cinnamon toast for five clamoring little mouths all at once, didn’t bother, but it is some Next Level stuff.
I grew up eating bread (especially extra hamburger buns) spread with butter, topped with Salad Supreme seasoning mix then broiled, and it is such a comfort food. We also did cinnamon toast this way, but the salad supreme toast went with soup for dinner. Kind of like garlic bread but not?
Heeeey, my mom used to do something like that with extra hamburger/hot dog buns, butter (or, probably, margarine) and sometimes Jane’s Crazy Mixed Up Salt*. A few weeks ago, when dinner was looking a little meager, I toasted some fluffy split rolls spread with butter and olive oil, and it was a wave of nostalgia in every bite.
*We also put butter and lots of Jane’s on bagels. My dad, who grew up in NYC, never remarked upon it, so as a child I thought that was standard treatment for bagels. I was baffled to find that real bagels came just with butter, or with a schmear.
My new favourite food is Marmite and avocado toast, and I’ve given up most other foods to eat only that.
Yesterday I send in the first of many, many legal training contract applications, and it seemed okay. I’m hoping it goes well because it’s my best chance at getting to move back the the UK where my whole life is, since applying to jobs from the US is a nightmare. If anyone has any tips on either of these, please, what are they?
No job recommendations, but marmite avocado toast sounds like a complete winner – you have all the major food groups covered in one slice of deliciousness.
My husband is going out of town for a few days for field work which means I get to cook whatever I want for dinner. He’s not picky, but there is something so glorious about building a menu entirely around myself without worrying if there’s leftovers for his lunch (I work from home) or if it will take forever to make enough for two people. I am making sushi, summer rolls, and either schnitzel or katsudon. I cannot wait.
Not related to food, but let’s talk socks. I have many pairs of awesome patterned socks that used to belong to my mom (printed with things like vegetables, sunflowers, and zebras!) (not all together though) and I love them. But I just cannot work out how to wear them in a way that doesn’t look like I am *trying super hard to wear patterned socks because it’s fashionable*. Like seriously – how does one do this? What kind of shoe/pant/skirt combo are we talking? This is obviously a little premature seeing as my ankles are currently well and truly concealed in layers of long underwear/legging/jean/wool sock/boot, but come spring I want to start putting these babies to good use.
I am a big fan of saddle shoes or simple, black Mary Janes and patterned socks with a solid-colored dress/skirt. I think the key is to not care too much and just wear what you want regardless of it makes you look like an art teacher or cartoon character. Since I stopped really caring about whether my stockings were too bright or that I was wearing too many colors/patterns I feel more confident and I actually get way more compliments from strangers. The key is to realize that you are fabulous and if you want to wear patterned socks, you should wear the hell out of those socks.
I really love peeks of sock. I honestly don’t have lots of experience with pants (which sounds weird, but I’ve strongly moved over to skirts now), but do you feel like you can rock rolled cuffs? I think it’s a cute spring look. I love menswear-style stuff — so maybe a plain or brogued oxford, or my dream shoe, double strap monks.
I also feel like cute socks with heels is REALLY CUTE but I don’t know if I can pull it off. A pointed pump with a bright sock is really cute.
I wear my socks over my tights but under my boots, and kinda scrunched down – not folded, just scrunched.
SIDENOTE does anybody remember American Girl Molly envying her older sister’s sock-scrunching method because THIS IS A THING I MYSELF HAVE JUST REMEMBERED
and the uncomfortable-sounding pin curls!! and the spangled tap dance outfit! and the cylindrical ketchup-flavored bread!
and her friend voting for it because it was pink!
Seriously I think about that book every time I go outside with my hair damp/wet without a hat because I don’t want to mess it up before work. And I always get sick, you’d think I’d have learned.
(also, I live in England now and think about the poor girl who had to stay with them and share a birthday with Molly every time I hear God Save the Queen.)
I’m a big fan of the little peek of crazy sock in between slim-leg pants rolled up once or twice and ankle boots.
Oooh I love patterned or bright socks with ankle boots or oxfords and pants of just the length where a flash of your socks show.
Am I the only human being in the world who thinks that it is really horrifying that 5-year-olds have lockdown drills where they train for how to hide behind desks and stay really quiet in case a shooter is at the school?
I am NOT saying that the drills are unnnecessary or stupid or anything (although I have some real issues with how many daughter’s school presents them and their expectations and stuff) … but I think it is an awful, awful thing that the world is such that this is just part of everyday school life, like a fire drill. And I will even go so far as to say that I think accepting that the only thing we can do to keep people safe is teach them how to hide from the gunmen (rather than, say, trying to stop the gunmen from happening in the first place) is pretty horrifying and problematic, and we as a society here in the US ought to be putting more energy into not needing the lockdowns in the first place.
I am feeling very alienated about this today. Surely there are some Toasties who come from my planet and don’t think I am just crazycakes!
No, I think those drills are really horrifying. I think my nephew’s school does them and I just… I understand where they’re coming from, but I do also wish there was room in there to sit back and ask questions about why they’re necessary. I don’t like the idea of living in a society that’s that blase about the possibility of a rampaging gunman.
Nope I am 100% with you on all counts.
My high school was OBSESSED with drills. Fire drills, lock down drills, lock out drills, severe weather drills, off site sheltering drills, on site sheltering drills, evacuation drills, and on and on and on and on. We spent so much time doing drills.
We never used any of them except for the lock out drill, which was usually run because of someone escaping from the psychiatric hospital nearby. Once, however, it was used because a bear was sighted near campus. They were reading the script for the drill over the loudspeakers, which included a section on how everyone must present ID to enter the building during the drill. There was real concern about the bear having appropriate ID.
Also we went through several phases of having codes for intruder alert/lock down drills so the intruder wouldn’t be onto us. In middle school the code was briefly “Stephen Hawking’s talk will begin in the auditorium in 10 minutes”.
I grew up with Nuclear Evacuation Drills. Just in case Diablo Canyon Power Plant blew, I’m sure bussing us 20 miles to the other side of some foothlils would have protected us from radioactive fallout.
As a kid, especially at 5, the drills were just annoying interruptions of the school day rather than a source of anxiety.
As a grownup, I share your horror.
As a middle school teacher, when our school ran an Active Shooter drill, I took it as an opportunity to show the kids we had a plan. I knew sightlines into our classroom. We brought the kids and teacher from an adjoining room into ours because my room had a solid door but his had a big glass paneled door. The kids were pretty impressed that we’d consulted with each other and thought it out. During the drill we talked out a couple of “what if” scenarios–we’ll text Mr Joyce and see if the west stairwell near his room is clear if we hear someone on the east stairwell near ours; the third floor is too far to jump safely. I also made sure that we teachers positioned ourselves in front of the kids between them and the door and spread our arms, even if it was a symbolic gesture. I saw the drill as an opportunity to remind the kids that I care for, think about, and want to protect them. If that makes them more likely to come to me with angry feelings or rumours or threats to prevent an active shooter, then so much the better.
What you said about the Active Shooter drill is *awesome*. I do not think there is so much you can do like that at age 5, but that is what I would like — not ‘We hide in the dark and hope we don’t get killed’ but the attitude of: here are the steps we are proactively taking to protect ourselves in case this sort of thing occurs.
For me it goes back to the self-defense training again; SO MUCH of teaching self-defense is helping people transform that moment of threat/terror/paralysis into ‘Now *what can I do*?’
YES. it’s supposed to be about active decisions about how to keep yourself safe, not “how to be afraid of everyone you see”. That’s a distinction that a lot of people just can’t see.
Not crazycakes at all. There are ways to instruct youngsters that empower them and make them feel like part of a team, and then there’s the hot mess you described. And I agree with the nuances of your take on it: Yes, create a system so that safety is a priority, but for fuck’s sake, start with disarmament, not the assumption that if a shooting didn’t happen in your school, well, there’s always next week! Yikes.
Currently obsessed with Indonesian food, so there will definitely be another run to the Asian market this weekend.
In work news, a new hire was announced last night via email. That’s fine, but in the email there was zero mention of her qualifications or experience (in fairness it’s a fairly entry level position) but her hiring manager made sure to mention her marital and child-bearing status. One guess as to what state they are in (hint: a founder of The Toast lives there).
They may be in Utah but I’m over here in Eye Roll City, come join me!
Making a favorite simple & inexpensive soup today (canned tomatoes, chopped cabbage, a can of kidney beans, some celery, carrot, onion powder, a boullion cube or two and water). You just throw it all in a pot and turn it off in an hour, and it’s warming and gentle and good. I’ve been thinking of all the Toastfolk who are living in snowdrifts right now and wishing you all warm socks and cocoa, but a bowl of this would be nice, too.
Moving to yet another interim room rental has been weird, but I have kitchen pantry space now, and making soup has been a huge blessing. I just got here and this is my second pot–first was red lentil with spinach, allegedly Turkish but I ate it with Ak-Maks and there was no digestive reprisal. I need to sleep a lot and do taxes, but then I will be hitting the “what am I doing with my life?” books rather forcefully. So, look out April 16th.
I found this on Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotdish:
***
The history of the hotdish goes back to when “budget-minded farm wives needed to feed their own families, as well as congregations in the basements of the first Minnesota churches.”[1] According to Howard Mohr, author of How to Talk Minnesotan, “A traditional main course, hotdish is cooked and served hot in a single baking dish and commonly appears at family reunions and church suppers.”[2] The most typical meat for many years has been ground beef, and cream of mushroom remains the favorite canned soup. In past years a pasta was the most frequently used starch, but tater tots and local wild rice have now become very popular as well.[3]
Hotdishes are filling, convenient, and easy to make. They are well-suited for family reunions, funerals, church suppers, and potlucks where they may be paired with potato salad, coleslaw, Jello salads and desserts, and pan-baked desserts known as bars.
***
It’s a pretty good description, but it leaves out a few things. Hotdishes have to have taste, texture and feel like a full meal. So it usually includes vegetables, and can have things like nuts in them to provide crunch (eg texture). They are different from casseroles, in that casseroles — like lasagna or macaroni and cheese — have one texture, and no vegetables. So they say that hotdishes are baked in a casserole dish but are not casseroles.
Hotdishes are considered “bland” by outsiders, but people spend a lot of time “spicing up” hotdishes — thereby creating family secret recipes — to make them more palatable and unique. It’s serious business: being at a church gathering, and hearing someone say about a hotdish “it’s missing something” … it would be absolutely mortifying to the cook. People will talk about their grandmother’s hotdishes, and how, over the years, they’ve tried to reproduce what she did and have failed. Because your grandmother gives you the basic recipe and expects you to “adjust it to your family’s tastes.”
Lutheran church cookbooks are usually full of hotdishes, but the recipes are bare bones: no one reveals their secret ingredients or spices that make the hotdish unique, satisfying and (I can’t think of the word) crave-able. For instance, I still can’t figure out my grandmother’s recipe for Tuna Noodle Hotdish, even though I’ve watched her make it time and time again.
I think another quality of hotdishes is that, if you hear the ingredients, you think to yourself “ugh, how can that possibly taste good” … but they do. And as wikipedia said, it’s about feeding a lot of people, but it’s also about taking ingredients that you have on hand (maybe by economic necessity) and making them taste good.
So, tater tot hotdish is hamburger, cream of mushroom or cream of chicken soup, mixed vegetables, American cheese and tater tots. To “spice it up”, you can put dill and smoked paprika on the tater tots (as well as salt and pepper); you can “fry the hamburger up good” (an actual description in a Lutheran Church cookbook recipe for how to make Hamburger Hotdish) by adding green peppers, onions, Lawry’s seasoning salt, pepper, garlic, “Italian Seasoning” (like my grandmother added, which is rosemary, oregano, thyme) and other seasonings.
Well, I went on a bit of a ramble here about hotdishes … but I’ve heard outsiders say that hotdishes are bland or that they are seasoned with only salt and pepper or that they are “simple food” — but that’s because no one gives their real recipe. My daughter and I have been working on our tater tot hotdish recipe for about 3 years. The smoked paprika and dill on the tater tots was a breakthrough, and gives the hotdish an entirely new flavor profile (yup, I said flavor profile, apologies to chefs who have gone to Le Cordon Bleu) … but … the thing is, hotdishes are fun to make, cheap and satisfying. And they are real food, no matter what other people say!
Oh, interesting. The ways the people of Minnesota are foreign to me, but in the name of cultural understanding, I will embrace this bizarre custom and cuisine. TATER TOTS!
I love this, it sounds very much like the “stroganoff” of my childhood. Will be frying up some tofu real good in the coming week, thank you!
I deserve praise. Season 3 of House of Cards is out, And I am at home all day, but I am waiting for a friend to join me after work before I start watching.
Anyone else desperately excited to find out what terrible things the Underwoods do now?
I praise you, but mainly because *I* deserve praise for not watching the Parks & Rec final episodes until the rest of my family can get their butts all home at the same time. I work from home & those babies are just sitting there on the DVR, taunting me.
Haven’t started House of Cards – yet – but I recognize a person with supreme will power when I meet her!
You should watch this as a reward!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92NXMtVtv8o
Foooooood! I had an electrical fire in my kitchen last week and unfortunately I am still stove-less. Does anyone have tips for cooking using only a toaster oven and/or microwave? Recipe suggestions perhaps? I also have a rice cooker, so there’s that at least.
I’ve basically just been eating bagels and takeout for the last week, which is great and all, but it’s expensive not cooking! I’m actually just about to go out and pick up some Greek food for lunch. My life, it is sooooo tough. 😛
I seriously cannot wait to move out of this stupid townhouse, my landlords are the absolute worst. Despite the fact that the fire was CLEARLY electrical (and the whole incident was witnessed by an actual electrician, who would know) they are trying to claim that it was a grease fire and it was all my fault, therefore they are demanding that I pay them the price of a new stove before they will replace it. Ridiculous. I know I won’t be getting my damage deposit back (this company is notorious for being extremely unreasonable about that sort of thing, plus I did do some unauthorized painting in my unit) so at this point I think I’m just going to live without a stove for the next month and let them try to get blood from a stone. Assholes.
The new place will be move-in ready by the end of March, and my lease is up at the end of April, so I want to get going on packing. Conveniently, I’m 34 weeks pregnant and I’ll probably have a newborn smackdab in the middle of that time. So convenient! I feel pretty crazy planning a big move while either extremely pregnant or having just given birth, but I guess I’ll probably survive somehow, right? Please tell me I can survive this.
You can do it! And, if it’s within your means, you can hire a bunch of dudes to do the only thing men are good for – move all your shit around!
Oof. Can you afford an inexpensive Crock Pot? Those things are regularly on sale for, like, $25 or so. That’s what I’d recommend instead of trying to cook in the microwave.
Also Roger Ebert wrote a cookbook about cooking entire meals in the rice cooker. I haven’t used it but the idea delights me.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00HTJW4K4/ref=mp_s…
Sorry for the ugly URL!
Also, ugh, just what you needed, right? 🙁 hang in there. I hope the new place will be everything you need.
That’s funny you mention that, I don’t have one, but just now my mother texted me to ask if I would like to borrow hers for a couple of months. Perfect!
I’d bake salmon filets and pork chops in the toaster oven (sorry, not sure if you’re vegetarian, etc.), and I’d use the rice cooker for rice (obv) and maybe a steamer basket to cook veggies. Also roast small batches of veggies in the toaster oven! Like broccoli or cauliflower, with garlic and/or onion, and I’ve also heard miso is a great accompaniment. Or if you’re into it, grate cheese over them. You can also steam eggs, I think!
I haven’t tried this, but can you cook noodles (like udon) in the rice cooker, since it boils water, essentially? Cook, then heat broth in the cooker (or microwave?), and add spinach, green onions, black pepper. Chunks of cooked ham finish that off.
Rice cooker opens up a whole lot of new options. Hard cooked eggs, poached chicken, steamed veggies. If you can make it in an oven, you can make it smaller in a toaster oven.
You can make anything in the rice cooker that needs to simmer but doesn’t need to slow cook, it’s like a fast slow cooker in that sense. Even a frittata – put a bit of oil in the bottom and turn it on, you can saute veggies and then pour in some eggs and leave it till it finishes its cook cycle
Oooh I’ve been making personal shakshuka in my toaster oven lately, it’s great. General “recipe”: heat up and flavor tomato puree of some kind– I add minced garlic, dried oregano and tarragon to canned san marzanos, but you could just used jarred pasta sauce– and pour it into an oven safe dish (or just heat it up in the dish, if dish is also microwave safe). Crack an egg in. Top with cheese (I use feta, parm is also good) and bake for ~7-10 minutes at 400, or until the egg is of the consistency you like. Serve with bread.
THIS IS GENIUS. I love shakshuka and want to always eat it forever, thank you for this brilliant idea.
It’s so good and easy!
I love shakshuka! I’ve got to try this at home.
I am going to make my mom’s fired rice this weekend and it is going to be glorious. It is simple and tasty and it reminds me of childhood. My mom’s directions that she emailed me when I asked her how to make it (well her first answer was “fry some rice”, but this was what she gave me when I prodded for more detail.
chop bacon into small bits and fry
chop onion into small bits and add to bacon when bacon is almost done and cook for few more minutes, don’t burn it.
pile bacon and onion to one side of pan and add 2 beaten eggs to set and then remove cooked eggs
add cooked rice, breaking apart if it is stuck together
stir rice in with bacon and onion until rice is slightly greasy
add soy sauce to rice mixture, enough for proper color and flavour
add chopped up egg that you previously removed from pan and add frozen peas.
add chopped green onion or chives just as you are about to take it off the heat
you can add cooked chopped chicken, pork or shrimps at the end if you want
I am stealing your mom’s recipe forthwith.
Oh! Does anyone have a favorite brisket recipe? I wanted to make a recipe that called for flank steak and the store didn’t have flank steak. Or hangar steak or skirt steak. Brisket looked pretty similar but it turns out not so much??
Not so similar. Both are cheaper cuts, but brisket has to cook for a loooong time to be tender enough to eat. I have had good luck with this recipe: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/06/briske…
Oh! I can tell you how my mom makes it for every Jewish holiday. She stresses that this is not the traditional Jewish way, but it’s how my grandmother made it so that’s all we really know. Her words, from the email she sent me about it years ago:
First of all, you need a big pot — here I think it is called a “dutch oven” haha. But I don’t think I have a real dutch oven, so I just use a big old pot that you would make soup or stew in or something. And I buy a piece of meat that is called brisket, but I don’t know what it would be called in the Netherlands. You know what it looks like, right? It is sort of flat-ish. If you can’t find a brisket I am sure that any kind of pot roast meat would work fine, you just may have to cook it longer to get it soft.
Season the meat with salt, pepper, and garlic powder, and then brown it on all sides in the pan, in some oil. (You don’t need too much oil, I use canola oil because I pretend it is healthier). You basically want to sear the meat, which they say holds in the flavor or whatever. Then I add a bunch of sliced onions (like 2 large ones), a can or bottle of beer, and a cup or 2 of beef stock, or beef boullion (the stuff in a can or a weird cube or whatever). The goal with the liquid is to add enough liquid so it reaches to a level of halfway up the meat, or so. You likely will have to add some more liquid during the cooking process so that the amount stays at that level. You can add more beer, or more stock, or just water — it doesn’t really seem to make that much difference. I think the cooking technique is called “braising”, if you want to look it up.
Bring all the liquid up to a boil, then reduce the hear to a simmer and cover the pot. It needs to cook for a long time, and the longer the better — like 3-4 hours, depending on how big the meat is. You want to cook it enough so that the meat feels really tender when you stick a fork in it.
That is pretty much it. You can strain the liquid once the meat is done, and then bring it to a boil to reduce and thicken it, but I don’t usually bother. You will want to taste it too, to see if it needs more salt or pepper. The onions usually get really mushy and fall apart, which we all seem to like. Then just slice up the meat, pour some of the gravy over it, and serve more gravy on the side.
This one, made with coffee and Worcestershire sauce, has brought a smile to my face multiple times. It’s a slow-cooker recipe but I’m sure it could be adapted for a regular pot if you don’t have a slow cooker.
We’ve had luck with smitten kitchen’s sweet and sour brisket (it’s a slow cooker recipe, but could be adapted for oven.) I say “we” because I have had literally nothing to do with it any of the times my husband has made it except to say “hey you should make that brisket again.”
PRESSURE COOKER! If you cook brisket in a pressure cooker you can just do white wine and an onion and it will be tender and delicious.
I’m super late to this discussion, but for winter comfort foods, I need to talk about the awesomeness that is lentils.ca
It is a glitzy website that is paid for by the Canadian Big Lentil lobby, right down to the glitzy lentil webisodes featuring Chef Michael Smith (beloved of grandmothers) — but it is full of amazing recipes about how to put lentils into everything, including all kinds of comfort food. As a vegetarian, it is awesome. I had lentil waffles this mornings and I’m making a lentil “meat”loaf for dinner.
I honestly don’t know what to do with the knowledge that there’s a Canadian Big Lentil Lobby
like
is Canada real
Apparently we’re the world’s largest lentil exporter?
In Saskatchewan, school lunches are pumped with lentil additives.
In grad school, one of my committee members was originally from Saskatchewan. He did so much research on lentils (pulses if you want to be all agriculturally fancy talk). Perhaps it came from all the lentil additives in his school lunches growing up.
Thank you for introducing me to this website! I am enjoying myself reading recipes for things like “Midnight Coconut Lentil Fudge”. Lentil fudge!
My favorite lentils right now are the black beluga ones. (Yes, I’m Canadian, and have Opinions About Lentils)
We had them last weekend, with olive oil, vinegar and red pepper. (Along with baked salmon and bok choy)
We have been doing Sunday Morning Noodle Soup for the last couple of weeks.
Get up around 8am, get the paper.
Thinly slice half a white or yellow onion and saute in butter until browned and soft in a 2qt pot, with some sliced garlic.
While the onions are melting, make a quart of beef broth-stock (we use Better Than Boullion, but whatever works, just make it stock-like rather than broth-like) and once it’s ready, add to the pot
Toss in a stick of cinnamon, 4-5 whole star anise, 4-5 bay leaves, and some grated ginger
Start a generous handful of shiitake to rehydrate, and some black mushroom strips if you have them (reserve the liquid)
Simmer that broth for 3-4 hours
When you’re close to ready to eat, pour some of the mushroom soaking water into the pot and slice up the mushrooms, then they go in the pot
Slice up some green onion and jalapeno for garnishing
Very thinly slice some beef
Grab a couple of eggs and some plain noodle (soba works, ramen works)
VERY lightly poach the eggs and put them in the bottom of soup bowls
Fish out the bay, cinnamon, and anise
Bring the broth up to a boil and throw in your meat and noodles
Gently ladle the soup over the eggs, trying v v hard to avoid breaking the yolks
Serve with a generous spoon of garlic-chili paste and the scallions and jalapenos
guys, it is THE BEST.
Um yes please! Thanks for the recipe/idea!
Anytime!!
Ooooh, favorite comfort food is definitely tacos, followed closely by homemade chocolate chip cookie dough. This is a rapid response, with no turning back once I commit these foods to type, because my hobbit brain will think of all the wonderful foods I like to shove in my gob. Things I am having tonight: tacos and beers. I don’t really care what kind, so long as they are in my diet this week.
Still no job found in area where husband is now working, a few hours away, but I’m making peace with this for the moment to focus on a business plan for the brewhouse. Spouse’ll be home for the weekend soon, and this works well. I live a bachelorette lifestyle during the week (see also: Drag Race, cookie dough, beer, etc, etc) and then get an attentive husband for the weekend, rinse, repeat.
AND HOUSE OF CARDS TONIGHT YES YES YES!!
I kind of want to talk about emotional masochism. Times when you’ve put yourself in a situation or relationship you knew intellectually would be painful, but your heart wanted you to do it anyway.
I know I’ve told parts of this story before so I apologize for repeating myself. Met a girl on OKC about 6 months ago, was utterly smitten within 5 minutes. We spent a few months going on ambiguously-intentioned “dates” (#queergirlproblems) til I finally got up the courage to put my cards on the table. She replied that she liked me too, but wasn’t sure “in what way” – just that she wanted to keep hanging out. I figured the ball was in her court at that point, so I backed off and waited for her decision.
A few months later, we’re discussing our unhappiness with our living situations, and she proposes that we move in together. I’m totally taken aback, and realize this means she only likes me platonically. And, oddly, after that, my romantic feelings went away. One day I looked at her across the table and realized that I felt strong affection for her, but no longer felt the overwhelming need to make out with her in a blanket fort. Yay! Friends! Roomies! We started looking at apartments together!
Then one night I had a dream that we were together, and I woke up and all my romantic feelings were back. And I feel like she’s been acting really flirty with me lately, and I am confused.
And everyone says “don’t move in with her, it will be painful if she gets together with someone else, plus she obviously has issues communicating.” And I hear that, and I know it’s true, and my heart just keeps going “I really want to live with her, even if it’s just as friends.”
Have you had a time when you couldn’t make your heart do what your brain knew was best? Why do we do this to ourselves?
omigosh yes. Three years ago, I was dating this guy that I *knew* wasn’t a great match for me, and would probably emotionally eviscerate me, and also he was my downstairs neighbor. My head was like “DO NOT DO THISSSSSS” but my heart was like “whatever, it’ll be fun and so convenient!” And it was fun and convenient, for a little while, until the anticipated Emotional Evisceration happened and I had to walk by his door everyday and hear him playing his guitar, or see him in the parking lot getting out of his car with a new girl, or come home drunk late at night and stand in front of his door arguing with myself about whether or not to knock on it. My life went on that way for 6 of the most miserable months of my life. Now my life is much better! I would never do it again. But it does make for an interesting story, I guess. Good luck my friend!
WHAT. ARE YOU ME.
I dated a guy in college whose room was directly below mine. Knew it wasn’t sustainable, knew it would hurt, did it (him) anyway.
The worst part was that the girl he chose over me was the loudest screamer I’ve ever heard, so I got to HEAR him having sex with her constantly. That whole semester felt like a punch in the gut.
Not going to tell you what you should do, but rooming with someone you like *that way* and who seems this emotionally confused seems like a nightmare. But if your feelings go away, there’s a chance it could work out.
But oh, I do the emotional masochism thing all the time. I have a need to be liked by EVERYONE at ALL TIMES, so I will a) chase you when you give no indication of wanting to be close friends with me, b) help you run errands/ do other nice things for you while you treat me like crap, c) let you repeatedly violate my boundaries , etc, etc, before I get the message.
…It’s something I need to work on.
I know it sounds like a nightmare, but also living with her sounds great because I’d be around her, you know? This is so dumb, my heart is so dumb.
Plus, I’m not sure how to back out of our living-together plan (nothing is 100% final yet) without admitting that I still have feelings for her and thus making it weird.
If you do decide to back out, you don’t have to give an excuse beyond you deciding it wouldn’t work for you. Minimize logistic awkwardness by doing it sooner rather than later and figuring out if there’s any thing you need to pick up (any rental application fees or deposits, whatever). What could be more awkward is moving out later.
You can still be around her if you don’t live with her, and also give yourself room in case you decide you don’t have feelings anymore, or if you need to pull away from her because of pain. Have you thought about that? Does this idea help?
I think our hearts can act on things like love (being drawn towards exciting possibility) and fear (being held back by the scary unknown). They’re trying to push us or protect us. It’s okay. Sometimes they do a better job … sometimes not.
Caveat: I seldom follow my own advice, but I at least I am consistent about considering the following.
1. WHAT comes before HOW. That is, decide what is the best course of action before considering how you will implement it. This prevents staying when you know you should go, for example, because you are unsure *how* to extricate yourself. Once you know WHAT to do, you can cling to that goal for as long as it takes to find HOW to achieve it.
2. Regret Test. Which worst-case scenario would be most regrettable? Which would I regret more, living together when our relationship goes downhill, or living apart and losing access to her? Note: this is a test only of potential negative outcomes, not a denial of potential positive results.
Oh but I feel for you. None of this is easy. it’s going to hurt one way or another. It already does sometimes, doesn’t it? Regardless of the outcome with this person, you are worthy of the very best in partners and you will meet more people who are both kind to you and attractive to you.
Sewing Thread
I know we have sewers here. What have you been sewing?
I’ve been putting off finishing a twin-sized quilt (just the quilting, I think I have about 25 hours left) and instead made a coat for my tiny dog. I don’t usually sew 3D things, usually just quilts and bags, but this was fun and only took a few hours.
That’s adorable! I have not sewn much lately but I am going to make skirts this weekend!
So cute!
I finally finished my dinosaur dress last night! It’s this dress: http://byhandlondon.com/products/anna-dress
And I used this amazing peachskin fabric that’s navy blue with coral brontosauruses all over it. I LOVE IT, although I can see my mistakes and sloppiness. Whatever.
Dinosaur dress?!?!?!
AWESOME
It is a slinky, floor-length dress with a thigh-high slit. I want to wear it everywhere.
I love dinosaurs! I’m super excited for this fabric to be released (also, just love Lizzy, she’s so great!) http://www.fabricjunkie.com/Lizzy-House-s/1527.ht…
My favorite dinosaur project is this one, which I gave to my sister (she designed it) but kind of want to make a new one for myself.
Oh fuck! Make me one?? Kindof not kidding?
Puppy!!!
I need to make a dent in a baby quilt this weekend. I have all the fabric and I’m doing a super simple pattern so it should be pretty quick I’m just lacking the motivation.
I am also working on a baby quilt! The baby in question has already been born, so it’s hard to motivate myself when the goal date has already come and gone. :S
I just started on a secret cross-stitch project — I’m making this to give to my husband for our anniversary. Which is 3 months away. Taking bets now on whether I’ll finish it in time(/this year/this century).
This is awesome!
I have a naval flags project I’ve been working on / storing for over a year now. My Dad’s birthday is in 2 weeks….
I keep telling myself I will finish it by then.
I modified a sundress last weekend, so I can take it and wear it on vacation this week. It’s a gorgeous full cotton maxi dress, white with turquoise and coral; but the top was Not Even Remotely Adequate for my bosoms.
Two days ago my friend pointed out that I was a subject of a Missed Connections in which a 50 year old man opined that I had a great ass and wanted to follow me into my cubicle. I work in the waiting area of a clinic so now I am trying to see if any new patients match his description while simultaneously avoiding eye contact.
My favorite hotdish was affectionately known as Grandma Ruth’s Hotdish and was hamburger, egg noodles and equal parts tomato soup and old-fashioned vegetable. Since my grandma died when I was young, it was always a nice way to feel connected to her.
Toasties! I need some advice.
My vegan long–distance partner is coming to visit me next week. I am very excited to see them, even if we’ll be holed up in snowy Boston. I’m a vegetarian, but cook vegan when I’m with my partner.
1.What non-vegan foods should I cram in my face over the next week to get my sweet, sweet dairy fix?
2.Anyone have favorite vegan dinner recipes? I’m particularly looking for hearty dishes that can be made in less than an hour.
Thanks y’all!
Not to hijack completely, but I would also love suggestions of vegetarian (or vegan!) dinner recipes that are well received by more omnivorous folk. I recently started dating someone and have been thinking it would be nice to cook for him sometime in the nearish future, but I’m terrible at figuring out what other people will eat. I like to think that I am a pretty decent cook, but I do make a lot of simple food for myself (as well as a variety of delicious but hideous one bowl meals that probably don’t scream nice dinner date food).
There are a lot of very good vegetarian and vegan curry recipes that as an omnivore I find super super tasty.
I don’t really have a recipe for it, but one of my favourites is chickpea and kale stew. It’s onion, loads of garlic, and a bit of paprika sauteed, then simmered with diced tomatoes and diced potatoes with kale and chickpeas added at the end of cooking time. Also, dhal over rice. I really like the ones at this link: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/06/dining/06mini.h… especially the apple and coconut one and they’re reasonably fast if you use lentils.
Oooh, I bet I could make that with everything I have lying around my pantry. I’ve been eating primarily soups and stews for the past month or so, and it hasn’t failed me yet.
2. ICE CREAM COME ON
Toasties! I am going to be in D.C. for a few days next week for a conference – is there anything cool that I could see/do for a few hours when I skip out on one of the sessions, something that I would otherwise miss if I didn’t ask you lovely people?
If you’ve never been to DC, the National Mall and the Memorials are natural places to start (free! outside! range from “meh” to “incredibly moving”! what’s not to love). The National Museum of the American Indian and the Botanical Gardens are also great (also both free, I think?). Some people like the Newseum but I found it kind of eh.
The National Museum of the American Indian has a great food court!
I have been once before, and saw the insides of two hotels (joy of conferences) and the National Mall and Memorials, and that was the sum total of my experience.
Definitely hit up as many free museums as you can, then! All the Smithsonians are free and well worth your time.
All the Smithsonian museums are free and there’s something for everyone: National Gallery of Art, Natural History, Air & Space, American Indian, American History… on and one. Any of them would be worth your time (and did I mention free?).
One of my top Smithsonians is the Portrait Gallery / American Art Museum. The courtyard is a dream and it is in Chinatown, so can be more accessible than treking around the mall. Never hurts to hit up Jaleo afterwards for happy hour (select tapas and sangria for $4 each if I remember right, dang good patatas bravas) Or go get ramen from Daikaya. Or go above Daikaya and spend too much money filling up on things like okonomiyaki style pork and brussels sprouts skewers while drinking sake bombs where the sake has been spheri-fied.
The International Spy Museum. Not a Smithsonian and therefore not free, and a non-free museum in DC has to be REALLY good before I will recommend it. http://www.spymuseum.org
Haven’t you always wanted to see a pair of glasses with a cyanide capsule hidden in the tip? Of course you have.
This one is free: The US Botanical Garden is right near the Capitol building and fairly petite, so it’s perfect for “a few hours.” http://www.usbg.gov They have an entire room full of orchids that will make you forget all about horrible winter.
I second the Spy Museum. It’s my favorite in DC, even if it isn’t free. So cool!
I think I’m getting a tattoo? Of a mermaid? On my arm?
I had given up the idea of tattoos ever since I was about 20, but then I saw a bunch of the NYC Toasties’ tattoos and they are amazing. So…I think this is happening.
I got a tattoo of a mermaid on my left leg about a month ago and I have no regrets.
I’m scared it’s gonna hurt! Reassure me? #wimp
It will hurt. But it’s manageable pain. Like a sunburn. Not like an bad sprain or a broken bone.
You can totally handle it! A sunburn is a pretty good description. For me, it was like receiving lots of little concentrated static shocks (like, when you rub your socks on the carpet and touch someone’s arm).
YAY!
you start toast, then you put kale in a pan with a scoop of crushed garlic and a zhuz of olive oil and you wait for it to be limp, then you take it out of the pan and put it on your toast, then you put an egg into the garlicky oily pan and cook it until its pretty much done, then you put that on the kale and toast, then you put salt and pepper and LEMON (the lemon is key) all over it.
actually, you can put lots of things on toast. goat cheese and tomatoes, dill havarti and sugar snap peas, sweet potatoes and sausage. just make sure your bread is real sturdy.
my other comfort food is the kind of cake you get from a grocery store’s bakery – you know how they’ll sometimes sell you a corner of a decorated cake and it’s mostly frosting roses and all overwhelming sugar?
TOAST FOREVER.
I love toast, with all kinds of things.
A Very Good Breakfast is one piece of toast with savoury things (egg and kale, avocado and hot sauce, avocado and cheese, cheese and whatever) and one piece of toast with sweet things (peanut butter and banana and raisins, almond butter and apple slices and raisins and cinnamon, raisins raisins raisins). Add coffee. That is a Very Good Breakfast.
A zhuz of olive oil! We call it a glug, but I like yours too.
It is freezing cold and I missed the beginning of the open thread and my work schedule got changed last week but I forgot to write it down and now I am all disoriented. BUT I am going on vacation on Tuesday. Tuesday cannot come fast enough.
(Really I am disoriented because I spent most of this week pretending that being an adult means not having to act responsible about anything and now I am feeling the effects of a week of poor sleep, poor diet, and no exercise. Being an adult sucks. Any advice on dragging myself forcibly out of this slump would be greatly appreciated.)
Baby steps! Incorporate one healthier-eating habit (more vegetables, less refined sugar, etc.), one movement habit (a half-hour of yoga, stepping away from your desk once an hour to march in place or something), and make a commitment to go to bed fifteen minutes earlier than you did last night. Then you can add to those goals as you’re ready.
Good luck!
Omg fooooood. On Valentine’s day we bought a crab and for whatever dumb reason my bf didn’t eat his entire half and so I just sat and stuffed crab and butter into my face and it was GLORIOUS. We had already had sex, so I could just cover myself in crab. I love crab.
“We had already had sex, so I could just cover myself in crab.”
You, my friend, are living the dream.
MUSHROOMS (the food kind). They are on my mind because I made a delicious homemade cream of mushroom soup last night, but it took FOREVER, mostly because of cleaning the damn things.
I have never fully understood about cleaning the damn things. First I learned you should never, ever clean your mushrooms, ever. Which seemed gross because they grow in dirt (“mierda,” the cook where I waited tables enjoyed pointing out to me). Then I learned, ok if you must clean them, at least don’t get them wet. Then I learned, well if you MUST get them wet, at least for the love of god don’t submerge them. That seemed like a middle ground I could live with. So there I was last night, dutifully wiping off the filthy mushrooms with a damp paper towel dipped in a bowl of water, getting all the specks of dirt, and … hey wait, is that speck of dirt moving?? It is totally moving. [DUNK!] So that worked out. Sorry, epicurious.
Oh, um, I think I’m going to add a stage: That you CAN submerge them, or rather, run them under water and then salad-spin them. They don’t soak up that much water after all? I just found this out recently.
http://www.seriouseats.com/2014/10/knife-skills-h…
“While it’s true that a mushroom will absorb a little moisture if washed (around 1 to 2% by weight), it’s not really enough to make any kind of significant impact on cooking. When I have a dirty-looking batch of ‘shrooms, I’ll give them a rinse under cold running water, then carefully spin them dry in a salad spinner.”
Oh, thank you! That might be enough incentive to replace my busted salad spinner. Mushrooms are crazy-delicious, but I don’t use them that often because they are also a giant pain (and don’t even talk to me about canned. I didn’t know fresh mushrooms even existed until I got to college and they were a revelation, to say the least).
There are canned mushrooms?! We are both learning today.
Have you tried dried mushrooms? My parents use them all the time and they’re pretty good. Usually shiitake, I think.
Shhhhh….it’s better not to know.
Sort of food related, yesterday I had a mysterious allergic reaction for the first time in my life and my face swelled up! The only unusual thing I had eaten was a large tangerine-like peelable orange fruit that I can’t remember the name of but from hereon will be known as the allergen pod. Then when I got back from work a late birthday present had arrived and it was Texts from Jane Eyre!
Then, today I was working in a local pub that I sometimes go to when it’s hard to concentrate at home because it’s usually quiet in the day, and there was a funeral in the back room, and somebody from the funeral very kindly and firmly gave me some chocolate tart.
was it a tangelo? They are very easy to peel and are large and orange.
Do you have hay fever or tree-pollen allergies? Sometimes that can cause a reaction to certain foods. Oral allergy syndrome. It’s rarely life-threatening.
hopefully it was just the new thing – I once spent a surprising and worrying summer being allergic to strawberries. I’m sure I did other things, they just don’t stand out in my mind as much as the sudden experience of “wait, why has my lip swelled up? Oh, THOSE are hives, how interesting!” THen it went away and hasn’t come back, but I’ve never quite trusted them again.
Food-wise: I have no working oven so I’m currently attempting to make stove-top roasted garlic puree. This involves simmering the cloves in oil and it’s making me very nervous that it will somehow go terribly wrong and burn down my apartment/explode. If it works, then my next attempt will be garlic potato soup.
Best of luck to you! Once I learned I could roast red bell peppers in a toaster oven I tried to roast several cloves of garlic along with them, only to have them EXPLODE! I thought the instruction to cut the top off a bulb before roasting was about drizzling olive oil inside, but no: Those things are ready to go off at any second. Made a mess of the oven, but they were still delicious.
Oof, good luck with that one. Nothing bugs me more than the posturing that comes with visibly not caring. “We can try”? What is even the point of writing that? Ugh, the longer I type the more I hate this man.
Right?!? And then what are you supposed to do, just keep your whole schedule clear in case he decides he can drag himself along? Or if you don’t he starts pouting and making it your fault and just generally being a giant man-baby…sorry, I may be projecting slightly.
GUYS GUYS GUYS. FEEEEELINGS.
I have for awhile been feeling sad and lonely and tired of New York, and wanting to move to LA where my best friend and other close friends and warmth are. I have a ton of anxiety about it, especially about being so far from my family when I never have been before, but feel more and more like it’ll be the right decision.
So I’m here visiting right now, I applied to this job, and got a phone interview, and I just had my phone interview and they invited me for an in person like 20 minutes later. I didn’t even have time to send my follow up thank you!
LIFE IS HAPPENING. EXCITEMENT AND TERROR AND AHHHH.
How do you get used to the idea of moving across the country from your family when you have never ever done it before by the age of 28?
Sounds exciting! Maybe you give yourself permission to adjust as needed? Like, this is huge and scary, but that doesn’t mean you have to be stuck with the decision forever. If you miss the East Coast too much, you can always come back. Sort of a heavier version of getting a drastic haircut. You can always let it grow back, you know? Good luck!
So exciting! When I made the opposite journey a few years ago (West coast to East–it says hello!), I tried to look at it as an adventure; one that was a little scary, and full of new things (winters with actual snow, instead of endless rain!), but one that I was taking because it was, ultimately, a good choice for me. I think it helped that I wasn’t adventuring alone, because I made the trek out along with my girlfriend, who’d gotten into grad school in upstate NY, so I think it’s a good thing you’ll have your friends in LA to help with the transition.
Good luck out there!
Remember how much you have been wanting to do it. Your family are only ever a Skype, a phone call or a plane ride away.
LA is great! I moved here at 23 away from my family and it was great! Actually, that was one of the reasons it was great.
One thing to know is that it’s ok if it doesn’t work out, that helps, but also you should give it at least a year. It takes time to get over moving, and learn your way around and build up a social network and routine. My first year was a challenge and lonely at times, and the people I hung out with that year aren’t the ones I’m close to now, who have been my friends for years at this point. Obviously you have anchor friends to turn to and that should help, but it’s useful to remember that year one is an orientation year- you take a bit of time to get up to speed. Also let your friends set you up on friend dates, and keep trying even if you have some misses- I had to go on a few friend dates to get a core group built up.
Omg I didn’t even think to ask if their are LA toasties. Do you all ever meet up? LET’S BE FRANDS.
Thank you! That is good to keep in mind. I sure hope I actually get the job after all this!
I have no idea if there’s an LA toast meetup, but I’ll go if there is!
I moved to SF at 23 after living on the east coast my whole life and I love it so much. It is scary and it does take time, but it’s worth it. Both be excited but also give yourself time to adjust – I got super sad last fall when the leaves should have been changing and thought I made a huge mistake, and sometimes I get overly dramatic about not having good bagels or other petty things. I’ve been here for a year and a half now and I’m still getting to know it but it feels more like home every day.
My favorite stress/comfort food is pad thai for some reason, and I finally found a place in Utrecht that makes a good one. I am very happy about it. I actually went there for takeout today but since I wasn’t feeling stressed I decided to get something else, which ended up being these little meatball things with rice. Hard to explain but very good. Also, mango sticky rice, because I love mango sticky rice.
This weekend I am going to Ghent and I am hoping to have some waffles. The Luikse waffles are just the best. (I know Liege isn’t Ghent but w/e they sell them everywhere, Belgium is a tiny country.)
LIÈGE WAFFLES YES
There used to be a Liège waffle window on the ground floor of my office building. It is probably ok that it closed because I was in danger of spending All The Money.
Food: So, I am currently stuck in a rather negative living situation, sharing a small kitchen with 3 other people. We all cook for ourselves and kept separate food and honestly don’t see that much of each other.
I’ve spent 9 months here buying fresh produce and then watching it rot, because the amount of time and cleanup necessary to prepare it – when I’m just cooking for myself – just didn’t seem worth it. Plus, I’m usually cooking dinner at 9 or 10 at night, when the other housemates are done in the kitchen, and I don’t want to still be washing dishes at midnight.
Long story short, I’ve accepted my fate and stopped trying to buy fresh fruits and veggies. I have lots of frozen fruit and vegetables that I can toss into smoothies or pasta (respectively) easily, without chopping and cleanup.
It’s not ideal, and I would like to be a cool organic hippie lady who cooks with all fresh ingredients, but right now efficiency is the name of the game. Lots of ravioli and pasta, tomato soup and grilled cheese.
By the way – Trader Joe’s now carries cookies and cream cookie butter. I’ve eaten half a jar with a fork.
They say that frozen is actually better for you than wilted, because it’s picked fresh and immediately frozen to prevent oxidation. I remind myself of this whenever I compare the price of fresh kale to frozen spinach. Umm, also if you haven’t already tried TJ’s frozen saag paneer it is seriously good. Not the shelf stable one which is gross, the frozen one.
I just came thru a year like the one you describe, and am now in a slightly easier food situation. That’s not to say I didn’t buy Doritos and something called “Chinese Cocktail Buns” that turned out to be basically fancy Twinkies today, but perfection is outmoded. I ate a lot of Clif bars, insisted on fresh fruit daily, and worked frozen and canned veg in where I could since I never eat out, and it was survivable. Psyched for salads in weeks to come, and wishing the same for you.
Dear toast-hive-mind,
I’ve been mostly lurking and reading for the better part of a year now, but today I really need to vent.
I’ve been taking post-baccalaureate classes in order to apply for a graduate school program really different from my original undergrad major, and it’s taken me 3 years to get my classes together and it has been absolute hell over the past 2-3 semesters, but I finally got enough stuff done to apply for the masters. And now – one of my recommenders has become unreachable. The applications were due three (one of them) and two weeks ago at this point. I told her about them a month in advance. She is impossible to get a hold of, and when I do get to talk to her, she says she had computer trouble and will try again. Then silence. This last time, she said she would try again and if it didn’t work, she would leave me hard copies at her office, but she would let me know either way. She didn’t let me know, and I had to call each university to find out that no, she didn’t upload anything, and when I called her work, I was told there wasn’t anything waiting for me.
Today I asked my boss for a rec, but he can’t do it until next week, and also I specifically didn’t want to ask him because I don’t want him to think I am leaving soon (I am probably not getting into these schools, the programs being so competitive and my applications being considered late at this point, despite all my materials being on time). Also I don’t want him to feel like he’s my second choice (he’s very busy and important, so this is a huge favor he’s doing me, despite him being very gracious about agreeing to do it), and I don’t want him to be disappointed with me when I inevitably don’t get into any programs (keeping my school stuff out of my work stuff has made it easier to do both, and I hate that I have now entangled them).
Toast-sistren, I have worked so hard, for so, so long (and paid SO MUCH in tuition and app fees, jesus why) , and it is killing me that this one stupid detail is keeping me out of the applicant pool. I am absolutely distraught. This whole process has been so soul-sucking and exhausting 🙁 🙁
Oh, that’s rough. I too switched (from english undergrad to archaeology grad school, with a ten year three kid break in between). The math! the GRE! the suspense! Is there ANYBODY, anybody from the place where you’ve been currently taking classes that can write you a rec? Have you called the school and explained that your recommender went incommunicado and you need some time? I hope she gets her head out of her ass and does this for you, but start brainstorming other people. I will keep my fingers crossed!
Augh, I had that almost-happen too. A great professor in my undergrad promised she’d write whenever, whenever, re-affirmed two months in advance of the app deadline, then went MIA. I found another professor from my undergrad who *miraculously* remembered me and did it within a week! It was amazing but it was sooooooo stressful and I’m so sorry that’s happening to you. Think of literally anyone who can write a rec for you and beg the heck out of them!
My husband and I decided to have our 14-year-old jindo dog euthanized on Tuesday. He had been fading for awhile, but it became very clear when we had to carry him to bed that we had to say goodbye. When I got him, I was a broke university student who had just moved in with her boyfriend. 13 years with him was not enough time. We took him to the park for a last walk and fed him as many timbits and as much chocolate as we could in good conscience. The vet called us the next day to let us know that Buster had had lymphoma and that he felt we had made the best decision. At least we still have our silly lab mix (who is a bear of very little brain) to remind us that life is lived in the now.
Oh shit man, I’m so sorry.
Glad he finally got to eat some chocolate, though 🙁
*hugs*
Oh no, I’m so sorry. Losing a dog is so hard. 🙁
This is the worst thing. I’m so sorry. Many hugs and cuddles with the silly dog.
Oh, I’m hurting for you.
Do we have a lunch thread for this food discussion yet? I don’t see one, so I will start one.
I have had bread and cheese and an apple for lunch three days this week. and bread and cheese the other two. Also deli meat, and the bread was technically crackers, because I may have been influenced by Lunchables as much as by the discussion back on the how-to-tell-if-you’re-in-a-fantasy-novel post. It was delicious, and I still have a bunch of crackers and cheese and deli meat, so I’m planning to have basically the same thing all next week.
What did other people eat for work lunches this week?
I’ve been getting pound bags of prepped veggies (often on clearance at the tiny grocery in the town where I work) and dumping them in a bowl and steaming them in the microwave and throwing sunflower seeds and hummus on top. It’s delicious but I am now the gassiest human ever. Thanks, wedding bullshit socialization!
Ooh, that does sound delicious, at least.
When I go into my office I usually have a nice sandwich from one of the revamped food places at the university. When I’ve been working at home, though, I’m eating weird stuff at weird times. Today I had a whole smoked mackerel, which I have to admit was pretty good. Maybe I should go with having meat and cheese and crackers on hand.
I mean, if the weird stuff is mostly working for you, then there’s nothing wrong with it. On the other hand, meat and cheese and crackers is a nice lunch.
The great thing about meat/cheese/crackers, aside from the nostalgia, is that there are roughly three million possible variations on the theme. I actually had two different kinds of lunches this week: soda crackers with farmer’s marble and summer sausage, and Triscuits with tomato basil havarti and mild pepperoni.
Today was wild rice with cumin roasted carrots & chickpeas, feta, and olive oil. Yesterday I had crappy home-made fried rice. Wednesday was a pasta with a blitz of kale, shallot, garlic, and goat cheese. Monday I had home-made sweet potato black bean chili, and Tuesday was a freezer burrito with the chili in it.
Today was by far my favorite. Also I eat SO MANY rice bowls. If you wanted to guess what I was eating on any given day that would be the best guess.
Those all sound delicious. I’m sad that I’m mostly too lazy to copy you.
I must confess that my main secret is “find a boyfriend that cooks dinner for the two of your 90% of the time,” lest you think my personal life skills are very together. When I cooked for myself I ate A LOT of sandwiches. And mainly just PB&J if I am being honest.
*edits online dating profile*
Does anyone hate going to the (primary care) doctor? I do, and I know (at least) some of it is my own personal baggage, but I also think many modern doctor’s offices are set up to be uncomfortable experiences. Just wondering if other people experience getting their yearly physical the same way.
Oh for sure man, and I have fired mine as a result. She doesn’t know yet, and now I’m frantically searching for someone new. .
Same. Also waiting forever to see the doctor for 5 minutes then getting charged what would amount to $1700/hour (I got new insurance and am looking for a new doctor) to treat my anxiety, which is largely related to my financial struggles. She’s out.
I remind myself that the docs work for *me*. If I don’t like the experience, I fire them, find another. Making me wait more than 30 minutes is a firing offense. Of course, that’s only a good idea in an area that has plentiful docs.
I move often, so I am often looking for a new doc. My best experiences have been at women’s clinics. Not all of them. But those places increase the odds of a doc who will take women’s health seriously and who will listen and respect my lived experience.
I find for me that it depends less on the doc than on the nurses/ other staff- for a while I used a clinic that I didn’t like at all in terms of waiting room comfort/ general ambiance (didn’t even really love the doc), but they had great nurses, so I’d always wind up feeling pretty cheery going into the appointment. My current place has a lot of student docs/ residents, so I get to be the practice run for the baby docs before I see my doc, which I find oddly enjoyable even though the office has the worst parking garage on earth (my current place is also basically my platonic ideal for healthcare- it’s a small practice of three GPs who all have sports medicine specialties, aka everything I’ve always wanted).
SEEKING ADVICE!!
1. Any California campers out there?? I’m visiting my gal pal in SoCal (heh) in March and I’d like to take two nights for a solo voyage to the wilderness. But, not too far into the wilderness because I’m afraid of bears and not extremely experienced. Does anyone know of any low-key camping/hiking sites within a 4-hour drive from LA?
2. Should I return to school and get a BFA in graphic design??? Would only do so if I could on the cheap as I do not want to contribute to my current loan balance, which isn’t too high but that’s not the point. I’m 28 and have enjoyed the graphic design element of my current non-profit arts job (where I’ve been for 4 years), and I’m feeling the urge to really bulk up my skills and not have all of my knowledge be self-taught. Has anyone done something like this?
2a. Should I stop seeking external validation and instead just do what I want to do?? Probably!
Not a camper, but I was just down in SoCal a few weeks ago, and the south end of the Los Padres national forest looked really beautiful to drive through – not super remote, and not far inland from Ventura and Ojai. I am sure you could find sometihng in that area.
1. Joshua tree is amazing. or head up the coast and camp in all kinds of places- If you get as far as cambria (near the hearst castle) there’s gorgeous coastal campgrounds, and big sur is…its gorgeous. Santa Barbara also has stuff. Right here in LA there’s camping near pt mugu and up in the angeles national forest. One thing to know is that the state campgrounds require reservations and they fill up fast. Also it’s going to be cold this time of year- our deserty climate means that a 60 degree day can be a 30 degree night depending where you are, so make sure you do a little research and do not just rely on what the average daytime temp is- I’d feel bad if you froze to death sleeping in JT.
3. Nah. Take classes for the specific computer skills at community college first. Then if you like it there are continuing ed programs at art schools that are way cheaper than the degree and taught by the exact same caliber of professor. My dad did this and it was a great choice.
Joshua Tree is definitely up there on my list! I’m very drawn to Big Sur, but as an East Coast-er the landscape of JT just looks so unusual to me I feel that I should take advantage of it while I’m out there. And thank you for the tip about not freezing haha! It didn’t really sink in until some research I did today that it does get quite cold out there (unless I’m inside of a bear’s stomach in which case I’ll be v. toasty).
JT is one of my favorite places in all the world. But all of Coastal CA will hit your eye really differently than the east coast. Even Big Sur which is foresty, won’t compare to east coast forest, so every place will be the right place.
2. The portfolio is everything; being self-taught is totally cool. Take some stuff part-time to fill gaps in your knowledge, especially if you just need like a fundamentals class or two. But don’t bother with a four-year degree! You know an entire year of that is electives, and another entire year is specializations like typography, which will be interesting but not in any way contribute to your job prospects?
That’s what I keep hearing: the portfolio is everything. I think I am leaning towards doing this part-time (for lots of reason, maintaining my current employment/paycheck being one of them), as cool as spending a year on typography sounds haha!
New Job thread!
Hello, Happy Friday all! I started a new job as a trainee lawyer this week, and a few days in have already:
-eaten what seemed at the time an amazing roast with horseradish sauce in the office canteen for lunch and then spent the whole afternoon in induction presentations & a meeting, trying to mask the weird IBS noises coming from my stomach (I pretended my stomach was rumbling with hunger- others noticed it- but pretty odd given it was at like 3pm..)
-met some real characters in the Dept I’m sitting in, including one senior person who told me my small talk remark was “Not very profound, but true..” Mainly they’re lovely and really friendly though, hence:
-Last night I went to Dept drinks and ended up staying out til 3am in a very strange club in East London with various other Trainees & Senior Associates who would shout “Epic song!” every time a new one came on. Hilarious and surreal.
Apparently Thursday-night-drinks is the thing to do with work colleagues, at least it is here, but tbh I don’t really understand it as it meant I felt ROUGH today (masked well by Max Factor foundation, but my glazed look gave me away). The rest seemed pretty fresh as maybe you get used to working on 4 hours sleep occasionally.
Are Thursday drinks a thing elsewhere?
Any other Toasties starting a new job now or soon? 🙂
I’m about 4 weeks into my new job working as an advocate in a mental health crisis center!
Upsides:
-No one has noticed that I’m not qualified to do this
-I seem to be helping people
-I really like leading group therapy
-There are times, like today (and this whole week) when it’s super slow and I can spend all afternoon on the Toast.
Downsides:
-I try not to describe places as “the ghetto” bc I realize that term is classist and racist but….the hospital is in the ghetto, like the hella ghetto. I feel unsafe going home at night and there’s nowhere to get decent coffee. #whitewhine
-Occasional very distressing experiences/not knowing how to help people.
-The lack of compassion many of the nurses show to the patients, and not knowing what to do about it.
But, I am very grateful to be working again, I’m very grateful for the amount of freedom and flexibility I have, and I’m grateful that I’m getting so much experience in my chosen field without going to grad school!
that sounds a great job overall which will give you good experience as you say! My boyfriend has worked in the UK version of this I think- he is a junior Dr who wants to specialise in Psych- and he had to get cabs if he left late at night as waiting for a train on a dark platform felt unsafe (even for him !)
Stay safe!
I submit that this video my friend made of her two day old quails might make some people feel happy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZIPextXDog
I made an inadvertent longing squeaky noise.
oh and another story from the new job; a guy who’s been there about a year said my Full Name (with Surname) on shaking my hand for what I thought was the first time, and claimed to have met me at an event before; I have no recollection of this. He’s nice and quite charming, and we ended up chatting a lot at the work drinks. It then became increasingly clear he was interested in me, due to his body language, slightly awkward vibe, also telling me he was “really glad I came” to the event, dancing with/near me, then directly asking me if I have a boyfriend and looking crestfallen (I do).
SO I don’t want to be too friendly or he might get the wrong idea (although he shouldn’t because I’m just being FRIENDLY like a normal human being)….wonder if anyone has any tips? especially at work. Today it felt pretty much ok but he did look at me a bit intently during one group conversation (sounds like I’m imagining it but you know when you just know?)
I don’t think it sounds like imagining at all — seems quite obvious! While of course in some ways it’s his problem and you’re well within your rights to just ignore it and act in your usual fashion, if you like him as a person and you want to make sure he doesn’t get hurt, then this is my usual approach which tends to work alright: pretend to be entirely oblivious but actually take care never to act in a way that might give hope to someone who’s desperately wanting a sign that you’re also interested. So you know, try not to make body contact casually, don’t ever choose to spend time alone with him — like if he says ‘hey do you fancy a pint after work?’ then say ‘yeah that should be fun! i’ll ask the others too!’, etc. Hopefully he’ll either give up through the obvious lack of interest on your part. Good luck!
Toastrons! I’ve been wanting to make braised Savoy cabbage with Saint-Marcellin cheese all week. It’s one of those perfect hot savory cabbagey earthy winter foods. For some reason I couldn’t find the right kind of cabbage when I last went shopping, but this weekend I’m determined to find myself a Savoy cabbage or perish in the attempt.
In other news, I think this will be the weekend I go see Jupiter Ascending and check out all the people in sequins, Eddie Redmayne’s whisper-screaming, and “Sean Bean the Were-Bee FROM YORKSHIRE,” as a friend dubbed him after seeing the movie and hearing his accent.
It turns out that social media panel I mentioned weeks and weeks ago does want me! So today has been lots and lots of beating back my own insecurities and impostor syndrome and giving myself constant pep talks about why I’m qualified and what I have to teach people. I’m still incredibly nervous, but I’m excited for the opportunity. Thank you all for the motivation and reassurance to even put my name in!
Braised coconut spinach with chickpeas and lemon.
Serve over roasted sweet potatoes, or brown rice, or crusty bread, or ANYTHING really. An old sock would taste good with this stuff.
Does anyone want to exchange phone numbers?
I mean I know that’s probably violating internet rules, but I also know we’ve had threads about how some of us feel isolated or have nobody to talk about certain things with.
I dunno. If you’re interested, I’m dangerflakes at hotmail.
I just ate one of the best meals of my life tonight. I’m visiting Hamburg, and we walked down to the edge of the red light district and went into the only restaurant we saw, which turned out to be a tiny Italian place where there was no menu, just five or six specials written on a chalkboard. We had the most glorious platter of antipasti I’ve ever seen – roasted vegetables, herring in aspic, prosciutto wrapped around cheese, prosciutto wrapped around melon, bruschetta, etc. My actual meal was housemade seafood ravioli in truffle sauce. It was unbelievably good. After dinner they brought us free chocolate truffles and schnapps. The whole thing, including drinks and tip, came out to about 22 euro a person. I still can’t believe that place actually exists.
Oh wow that sounds amazing! Italian food is my favourite
The kids are off at dad’s and I’m not required to cook anything so dinner tonight was two leftover pierogies and a slive of bread with chocolate peanut butter (love you Aldi’s!) and banana slices.
Acheivement unlocked: FIRST WEEK OF LACROSSE COACHING!!
I’ve got one girl on the team for sure, she’s bringing a friend, and two more girls’ contact information. Next thursday I have THIRTY TWO boys/girls and no helping coaches–I’m sure I’ll get it by then. I have discovered that a) I need to start getting to my real job earlier, because no matter how much time I supposedly have in between that and coaching, it disappears. and b)By the time I plan the workout, time myself doing the workout, demonstrate the workout, and then lead the workout…well, it’s only been a week and I can already tell my butt is going to be much nicer by the end of the season, if my thighs hold out from doing so many lunges! It’s fun to watch non-flexible boys try to do yoga warmups (yes, I know, I’m evil!). I’m okay at cradling and ground balls, but next week is passing and catching. I hope I can find a lot of drills to distract them, because I’m not so good at catching!
The ex has laid low this week, more or less. Tried to passive aggressively turn me into his financial secretary for kid school stuff (just because I have the kids and it’s your turn to pay, doesn’t mean that you just get to come to my house and give the money to me and make it my job. Drive that damn check to school, it’s your job, and leave me the hell alone!).
Meds have been smoother, don’t know if that was the 5 day weekend we had because of weather (yesterday it got to 21 F. That’s 10 degrees warmer than it had been for two weeks. Today it was -11 again). or the sunshine, or the exercise, or the forcing myself to be active and bossy.
Still broke, still wondering how long I can hang on at this half-time gig. Nothing I can do about it though.
Crazy girlfriend’s mom emailed me a link to a women’s self defense class. Um, I’ve been taking karate for 8 years off and on. All my kids do karate. I’ve done so much gun defense and knife defense, and I’ve helped lead the women’s self defense seminars. I think I”ll pass on her invite. This woman does not know me at all!
Kid # 1 is doing ok at college. Kid # 2 hurt his back IN BAND. (in his defense, he’s very recently become very tall, and he’s skinny and plays bari sax, and hasn’t learned how to use his body right at this new size yet).
Kid # 3–well, she’s kickass. Did 170 straight pushups the other day. Is aiming to learn how to “flag”. So far she can take my foam roller on-end, balance on it, and do pushups. She can also do horizontal handstands. She’s so tough.
I miss my dog. I don’t have money for one. I still want a dog.
Woo good luck with the coaching!
Maybe you could offer to walk neighbours’ dogs occasionally? Also maybe drop your details here in case they launch near you soon! https://www.borrowmydoggy.com/sign_up/internation…
So glad to know you’re feeling better. Your kids sound great. Good for you for making the ex responsible for the school money.
I’m trying to think of a creative way to be able to afford living expenses AND enroll in grad school without taking out a bunch of loans. I feel like there’s an entrepreneurial side job in me SOMEWHERE and I just can’t figure out what it is. For those of you who didn’t have funding and somehow managed graduate degrees anyway, how did you do it?
I took out loans, honestly, because even with funding in the second year I was so overwhelmed between my research, my writing, and the classes I was teaching/grading, there was no time for anything else. But I had a 1-hr commute each way, and three kids, so ymmv. I just don’t think I could have finished if I had too many pots in the fire. You’re trying to teach, grade, do the research, do the analysis, write everything up, and in the meantime writing and submitting journal articles, traveling for conferences, writing presentations for conferences…it’s a lot, and it can pull you in many directions away from your theses/dissertation.
I’m a bit confused as to whether no funding means that you have to pay fees and/or that you’re not being paid a maintenance grant but if it means the former, my friend took a part-time Ph.D (which costs far less in fees) and did private tutoring on the side. However she actually studies almost full-time and will be handing in at the same time as her full-time colleagues but will have spent about half the cost of fees.
Read getbullish.com for entrepreneurial ideas!
I took out a bunch of loans. I wish I had waited to get a fully-funded masters, but, no. I had a bunch of part-time jobs, though, which was great.
I’m adding another reply here: because I had a different undergrad major than my grad major, I was accepted provisionally. Once I had a semester under my belt and good reviews from my professors, the head of the dept. found me a research assistantship for the rest of the year, and then the second year I was fully funded. That meant I had free tuition for 3/4 of my allowed semesters, and since I had to take one extra semester to finish writing, I had to pay that last one. But I only had to pay a thesis fee for that semester, so it was like $170, tops.In addition, I received a stipend. If I hadn’t had a 40 mile commute or if I had been able to move closer and live like a student instead of a mom, that might have been livable if I’d been creative with a roommate or something. Don’t be too discouraged if you don’t get funding right away–check with other students at the school to see how supportive they are to their people. If you get the right department and they see you are committed and a good student, they usually want to do what they can to keep you around.
This is a blog of my tweed-clad father’s aphorisms & asides, if anyone finds British cynical humour amusing.
(hi to my current Toast followers! He has been on quite good form recently, although it’s getting harder to edit them into punchy sentences like the first few. Unsure if I’m no longer as ruthless, or he’s no longer as pithy.)
http://lastenglishgentleman.tumblr.com/
This week has been 10 different kinds of physically and emotionally exhausting. I was able to escape to a knitting thing and have a girlie drink tis afternoon, which helped some. But really what I need is a Mom. Someone to brush my hair and tell me that everything’s going too be fine. (My own mother, while exemplar in many ways is not so great at the comforting without telling me how I screwed up. And in any case is currently on vacation without her phone and lives a few thousand miles away) Rent-A-Mom, the service whose time has come
I cannot brush your hair but I feel like watching this might be the next best thing that’s possible over the web? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRnk3vEEMqs
Hi Toasties! Late as always, but a quick update on my Labrador Major, who had pretty full on surgery on Thursday.
He had incontinence issues, because both tubes running from kidney to bladder didn’t actually connect to the bladder, but drained into his urethra, so he leaked pee a lot. So the operation was to relocate them into his bladder. It went well, and they were also able to remove a big bit of swallowed dog toy that had lodged in his stomach, which was picked up on his pre-op CT scan!
He came home in Friday, but he has had to be re-admitted to hospital because the swelling in his urethra meant the poor puppy couldn’t pee! He was very distressed, so we took him back to have a catheter put in. He is doing ok this morning, and is being a terror, having ripped out his catheter twice during the night, and also his IV line (whist it was very securely taped to him, with him wearing the cone of shame!) he’s some sort of Houdini puppy!
Anyway, we’re hoping he can come home tomorrow if he is urinating normally, so fingers crossed!
Thanks for the good wishes for him last week, I really miss him not being here, but I know it’s all for the best in the end! I’ll work out how to post a picture at some point for one of the puppy threads!
Aw, poor puppy. I hope he’s feeling back to normal soon.
Poor thing has so many stitches! Hopefully in a few weeks it’ll all be a distant memory.
Anyone have any late new year’s resolutions? (I feel too grumpy and contrary in Jan to make them then.)
Mine are…
1) to assume everyone is female unless I know otherwise. E.g. — ‘Maybe you should go to your doctor and see what she thinks?’ ‘If I were you I’d speak to your boss and see what she says.’
2) to re-learn fencing so I can leap about with a sword.
++++++++++ amazing resolutions would plagiarize
Very late to the party but wanted to jump in here in support of #1 – I don’t have a formal resolution, but I also try to take care with my pronouns! It’s so hard to undo years of programming. Good luck! (And with the fencing too, that sounds awesome.)
Forgot to mention that when I moved into this new place someone had just loaned Housemate all of “Spartacus” on Blu-Ray. He has been really gracious about still allowing me to watch with him despite my tendency to collapse in fits of laughter regularly (like, lady: You are lying in a snowbank, maybe this is not the best time to take off your top for sexy times!). That show had something for everyone, except lesbians, unless you count the comedy.
Oh my word. I’m three episodes in, and LOVING it. (I”ve seen bits and pieces, but am working my self to watching the full run).
So many bad choices. So many bad ass ladies.
I knew I’d find a co-Spartacusser here! Let me know what you think as things progress. My overall favorite aspects so far are Lucy Lawless (who is the best part of anything anywhere), her horrible blond frenemy lady, and all the swearing. REALLY great swearing on that show.
Dear Toasties spending their Friday evening on the open thread: please enjoy this video of one of my bunnies playing with a big plastic ball.
Late post, but I need to vent. A supervisor in our clinic suddenly got a new job. We recently discovered why–he was having an affair with one of his staff members. They both left their spouses and young children for each other. He apparently went home to his wife and said “It’s over, I found someone else.” Now, his paramour is promoted to the position he vacated for her. Our office was very tight knit, spouses coming along for happy hours, play dates withe kids. But everyone seems fine with the affair and has totally shunned/started bullying the person who exposed them! Which is a little odd to me, but the worst is yet to come!
Before the affair with her boss started, she cheated on her husband with another coworker’s husband after a long happy hour. The person she now oversees was very drunk and sitting in the room unreceptive to their attempts at a threesome, so the husband and the supervisor went on without her. Now, the attempted 3some is something the bullied coworker revealed on her last day before starting a new job. No one else knows. The new supervisor expressed guilt to the now bullied coworker (they were very close friends at the time) about cheating on her husband.
What do I do? My initial feeling is to bust in to a packed room and ask why she has a pathological need to engage with married men who are involved with our clinic/flip all the tables. But it’s not smart, they all turned against the last person to bring light to the broken HR regulations. I am great, well liked, influencial and in the midst of a very visible leadership task. The supervisor can’t take me down, and since it all involves people she works with, it is kind of our business to know. HALP! How do I handle seeing her Monday Morning? Should I tell her illicit, still married boyfriend? How evil can I get before I get too vindictive?
Whoa, that sounds like some high-school-grade drama. What a mess.
If you are influential and well-liked, maybe bringing brokenness to light would go differently for you than for the last person who did it?
I don’t know, I guess I’d try to stay out of the interpersonal (romantic) stuff but address the HR-level stuff (bullying)? But given that it’s a tight-knit and social environment, that might be hard.
Ugh. Good luck. Keep us posted if you can.
I agree, I would stay out of the personal business. It’s none of your business and it also seems like a lot of the people involved with this are no longer working there. If they want to complain, they can, but if they don’t…
Do keep an eye out. If she does something inappropriate with a coworker again, bring it up with either her boss or HR.
The person who revealed it… being bullied…I dunno man. It sounds complicated. She was obviously hurt by what happened, and I think a strong case could have been made to come after the supervisor if she’s hitting on her employees while drunk or having sex on office property, but if the way she handled things was to wait and then go after a different issue…I don’t know. This sounds like some of the risks of having a workplace where people also have deep friendships- that’s when this kind of stuff comes up.
I get that you want to defend a friend, but think about what’s happening here- your supervisor either has a pattern of going after spouses of your coworkers/employees in which case it will happen again and can be dealt with that way, or a pair of messy complex things went down at a workplace where you have the kind of parties and interpersonal relationships where people get drunk and have sex and hang out with each other and make their best friendships related to this workplace. If it’s the second, then I don’t think HR is receptive to following the rules and it’s going to have a backlash.
Also do you have a spouse? If you don’t, you are probably safe, because you either wait till she comes on to you and then bust her, or just sit back and wait till she’s destroyed enough cred that you get her job.
Hello Toast friends!
Although I’ve been here since the very first day, I’ve never commented. Mostly due to time zones, but also my inherent lurkeresque nature. But today a friend of mine has done a good thing which must be shared. She has created other half sports – a sports site for women. I think it may be of interest to several people here as its full of women who give several fucks about sports, and the world in general.
http://otherhalfsports.com/2015/02/welcome-to-the…
Ah that’s great, those options keep re-surfacing for me, thank you!
Los Padres has hot springs somewhere in the ventura area.
It is! I'm all about my left-handedness.
I knew I'd find a co-Spartacusser here! Let me know what you think as things progress. My overall favorite aspects so far are Lucy Lawless (who is the best part of anything anywhere), her horrible blond frenemy lady, and all the swearing. REALLY great swearing on that show.
Back at you with slightly fewer consonants! I love the Welsh language, just looking at it tickles the inside of my mouth. Would happily chase that sensation with some leeks and taters.
I am wearing sweater tights, fur trimmed moccasins,, a fur trimmed sweater, a wool scarf and have already blown a fuse in the office this morning trying to run my space heater.
I cannot get on that plane fast enough. 🙂
Hi Everyone – I know i’m very late and will try to get to next week’s tread. Found this link off a blog I follow (http://joaniepepperoni.tumblr.com) to a 9 year old kid’s booster page. He’s trying to raise money for his local animal shelter. He designed the shirt himself! Waiting for payday, but I’m scooping one up.
A 9 year old boy who loves animals…we need to keep his love alive!! http://www.booster.com/kaifolkinsanimalfundraiser…
The design is adorable. I am in no way related to this kid but though he could use a signal boost. If you can’t buy one from him, would you mind signal boosting him for this very worthy cause? Thank you!
Awesome, much appreciated!