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Illustration: Marissa Maciel

Don’t miss this fascinating and gorgeous essay by Zoe Selengut on her life as seller of used and rare books, as well as her mother’s upbringing in a little-known religious sect. It’s one of the best essays we’ve ever run and I would read an entire book of it. That phrasing made more sense in my head.

Questions to Ask During an Informational Interview

Our own wonderful Marco, writing about his transition and what is next for him, pretty much destroyed me (in a wonderful and happy way):

When I came out to myself as trans two years ago, one of the first things I said was that while maybe I preferred men’s clothing and haircuts, I (probably) wasn’t “trans enough” to want surgeries or to change my pronouns. Two years later and I’m counting down the days until top surgery and telling people they can call me Marco, and that she/her doesn’t really refer to me anymore, if it ever did. To explain this change, I’ve had to get to know how much we can lie to ourselves in the name of protection from our deepest desires. I’m marveling at how, despite this, the universe, God, Fate, whatever you want to call it, will ask you to awaken to yourself over and over, and how that process is never what you’re expecting. It’s impossible to forecast that type of joy.

The Toast’s National Adoption Month series continued this week with this powerful essay by Ana Guay about toxic gratitude and the burden of expectations placed on adoptees.

I also wrote about language and other things lost to adoption, and what it’s like raising a child who is increasingly aware of and curious about the ways in which my history has made us different from other Koreans.

Are you living in a Maeve Binchy novel?

November Dad Magazine!

I always love the delightful lesbian haiku Anna Pulley writes for us. (In April you can buy a whole book full of it!)

Angela Qian published these two pretty poems with us, and also wrote about her experiences as a Chinese American in Japan and how it feels to be an “invisible foreigner.”

“A Farewell Letter from Chris Kimball”:

Turn on your gas range, and you’ll see my eyes in the blue light. Close your refrigerator door, and I’ll sweep through it with the darkness. Scrape your knuckles on a cheese grater, and you’ll see a familiar bowtie in the bloodstain. I won’t be far, home cooks. Always close to hand, that’s Chris Kimball. You can’t get rid of me.

Finally, in case you missed the news, Millihelen is gone, but you will soon be able to read Jane Marie’s Bargain Bin posts HERE at The Toast every Friday!! Her first column will run the day after Thanksgiving, so you have a week entire to think about all those beautiful bargains and let your anticipation build.

Have a lovely weekend, ducks!

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