“Maybe another ribbon would h–”
“It would not.”
“The flowers are fine. I just still don’t like you.”
“No, it’s nothing.
It’s nothing.”
JUST TAKE IT, TAKE THE CROWN AND LEAVE ME WITH MY GOATS
“Father, if you are willing, let this flower crown pass from me; however not my will, but yours be done.”
I can barely see it and I still hate it
“Although there is no change in my patrician facade, I can assure you my heart is breaking.”
This one’s not a lady, but he looks so damn desolate that I had to get him in the lineup.
“This demeans the both of us.”
remove the harp of rejoicing
bring me the harp of ennui
“I am smiling. Take the picture.”
no, I love it
I don’t know why it’s falling apart
maybe the crown just wants to be on the floor
“I’ll smile when I have something to smile about.”
“No, I love it. It’s just what I would have picked out for myself. It’s so practical, and…I can wear it for years.”
“Don’t forget that it’s me who’s the Queen of the Goddamned May around here.”
I come from a long line of women looking miserable while wearing floral crowns (no really, it’s like a cultural wedding requirement and everything), embroidered blouses and piles of beads, and this speaks to my soul.
5/5 flower crowns, would look at miserably again.
Harp of ennui! I should like to hear that.
Playing Wonderwall. That would actually… be almost a delight.
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=harp…
People have done it. Maybe not with ennui, though.
“Anyway, here’s…something, whatever.”
I believe the Autoharp is the Official Instrument(tm) of Ennui.
Sounds a bit like me practising wire harp this evening. “OK, I’m going to do it, but it’s going to sound shit because I’ve not picked it up in a week and it’ll never hold its tune*, so I may as well just rattle through it.” Meh.
* Wire harps are EVIL in their tuning requirements. I went through it twice, it’s only got 19 strings, and it stayed in tune for all of three minutes. It’ll be happier when I’m doing it more regularly.
+10 for cornucopia of Simpsons references.
For everyone who loves these Western Art pieces from Mallory, may I recommend the book Idols of Perversity: Fantasies of Feminine Evil in Fin-de-Siècle Culture. It’s angering and weird and confounding and I’m learning a lot!
From experience, a warning: Do Not read this on the very, very crowded subway at rush hour unless you want scandalized nanas gaping over your shoulder at the very lascivious nymphs.
Now I wish I had a subway to ride, such that I could scandalize people in this way.
Do not sketch the lascivious nymphs at the office, either. You will never be able to explain.
Thanks for the rec! I just started it yesterday and it is fascinating (and angering, as you say). I’ve always been drawn to late 19th century art and to its representation of women in particular (not that I’m an expert, but some of the paintings printed in the book are pretty well-known, or at least they were known to me), and now that I’m learning more about what’s behind them I can tell I’m going to have to ask myself why.
“My soul doth magnify the Lord, but this flower crown doth not complement my ensemble.”
I’m hearing this in my head to Daniel Pinkham.
#1 is one of the top ten examples of the celebrated I’m So Sick of Your Shit, Steve artistic motif.
ETA: Or the cultural equivalent to Steve. Every culture has one. Fuckin’ Steve, amirite?
https://youtu.be/N5hR9NHdtBM
Exactly.
I wish I could master the look of the woman tearing apart her crown (4th from bottom) saying “I fucking dare you to say something.” That look would be so useful.
I absolutely aspire to be her when I grow up.
That is truly a worthy thing to aspire to.
*Adds new bounty of images to Dissatisfied Reaction Images Gallery.*
“this demeans both of us” girl was 100% me as a child (and still today, let’s be real)
I am deeply proud to say that my nine-year-old daughter has mastered that expression. She’s a future Toastie for sure.
“Is it raining? What the-”
Just now noticing there is a man’s head under her foot? Curious about the context there.
It’s Catherine, so it’s probably the emperor she debated about theology?
So THAT’S why I did poorly in high school debate club…
I would pay cash money for a coffee table anthology of the Western Art series.
SECONDED
YESSSSSSS ME TOOOOOOO (she said, 2 weeks late)
I appreciate this, as someone who has sung in women’s folk ensembles where 50% of us were team Historical Costumes and Flower Crowns and 50% were team Stately and Respectable Black, Come On.
Ukrainian folk music just doesn’t sound right without the flower crowns. Sadness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws32ww3ddzs
Neither does Bulgarian. IMHO, as I’m not Bulgarian, just someone who owns multiple versions of this song.
Am Ukrainian, but Bulgarian friend confirms. Crowns required to perform.
I genuinely appreciate that you asked and then came back to tell me. 😀
I love this song so much!
PS If you have the Kitka version of this song… the word “kitka” means a flower or bouquet you wear in your hair. 😉
That’s how I learned about the song! I used to sing with a local women’s chorus and we did Kitka’s version of Alilo, which several of them came and workshopped with us (it was fantastic). I bought a few of their albums, and loved Hubava Milka so much I looked up more Bulgarian music. I have an album put out by the official state choir that has it as the first track. I just love it so damn much.
Kitka has (had?) a group sing for people who love the music they sing but can’t or don’t want to be in the professional group. When I found out, I had a minute or two where I considered moving to Oakland.
This comment makes me so happy! My choir in DC also did that version of Alilo. (We also tried to do Hubava Milka, but it was too hard.) I live in California now and I’ve sung in the Kitka community chorus a couple times and it was great! I can’t do it right now because of other life stuff but I will definitely go back to it in the future. You should move to Oakland. 🙂
Well, rent is getting so bad in Portland, that Oakland might not be that much of a shock. ;^)
There *was* a local ensemble that did the same genre, so to speak, as Kitka, but I think they disbanded. I only saw them the once.
Alilo was SO FUN, even if the mezzo-sopranos were cranky about being added to the bottom harmony. Meanwhile I’m an alto to start with so I just had a blast.
Hubava Milka does sound like a challenge, but I always liked complicated pieces best, even if I’m not always up to them. I’ve been meaning to just buy the sheet music for Wintersongs, because surely that’s better than trying to pick out one voice from an ensemble!
I know why Bulgarian etc. music appeals to me, I’m an alto with zero vibrato who prefers to sing in chest voice and loves non-“standard” rhythms and harmonies. My favorite piece of classical music is The Rite of Spring!
*fistbump* I’m not a real alto, but I love singing in the basement (and chest voice in general)! And the rhythms and harmonies, of course.
I have to mention West Coast Balkan Camp – I went two years ago and I’m hoping to go again this year. It’s really fun if you can make it! It’s a long drive, but there are definitely folks who carpool down from Seattle and Portland.
OH MAN. It’s hard for me to get weekends off and I tend to save those for things I’ve already been attending for years.
But. I will keep this in mind.
Speaking of Kitka, one of the albums of theirs I own is the one that is your username! It’s fantastic but I haven’t listened to it much because it’s….not something you put on to clean house or relax. There’s a section with very realistic keening that makes my hair stand on end and makes me cry!
Does #3 look like Josh Groban to anyone else?
“This flower crown is not helping me have a nice day.“
I would just like to comment on my love for the fact that there is both a tag for #uuugh and for #uuuughhh
Bitches wear flowers the same way they gather them.
Furiously.
I am slightly creeped out by the fact that the ‘I am smiling, take the picture’ portrait seems to be of me. Literally, as if there were a time vortex involved or something.
…brb, changing all of my profile photos to be that painting.
Creeped out?
I’m jealous!
It’s like a Fannibal convention.
The crown-shredder’s murderous expression is a joy and a delight. “Step lively with that paintbrush, sonny Jim. You have approximately thirty seconds before you’re wearing these poxy flowers around your pancreas.”
“He fears me, he fears me not. . .”
How could this happen to me plays softly in the back ground of number 6
remove the harp of rejoicing
bring me the harp of ennui
this is actually my life right now
I love these so much. If I end up being brave enough to go to a Toast meetup, I will wear a flower crown (and just look kind of socially awkward, but everyone will be so distracted by my flower crown that maybe they won’t notice).
You will look awesome*, but be aware that random strangers might also start talking to you about cannibalism if you do, so, watch out.
*Flower crowns are possibly the best part of Ren Faires.
Oh I would be delighted to talk about cannibalism! I’d much rather have that than a dudebro playing music at me. (But why cannibalism? Is it a Hannibal thing? I’ve only seen the first season so I don’t know about flower crowns being part of it.)
So in the goat picture, that is the most evil sheep in arts history right?
And still preferable to the dudebro.
no, I love it
I don’t know why it’s falling apart
maybe the crown just wants to be on the floor
Ahahahaha, my favorite.
As a Ren Faire nerd, I’m fairly familiar with both flower crowns and German Renaissance portraiture, but the picture of that grumpy dude? Why does he have extra rings hanging from his collar?!? I have never seen such a thing before. I can only assume he has outlived/killed three previous wives and is keeping track by hanging their wedding rings like trophies from his neck.
You’re right, that’s weird! I wonder if it’s a bead necklace just neatly lined up below his collar? (Maybe even a rosary? Do/did people wear rosaries like that, as if it’s a piece of jewelry?) Maybe his fingers have just gotten swollen but he still needs to have his official signet rings on his person in case he needs to seal a letter.
Oh look, here’s another one of him, this time with more rings! http://www.akg-images.com/Docs/AKG/Media/TR3_WATE…
(And another of in-between age without the ring of rings around his neck. He always has that green stone ring on his hand though.) https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/…
Thank you for all your awesome follow-up searching! The mystery goes on…
But I am now thoroughly convinced he was a serial killer who kept trophies of his victims and made weird fashion statements with them. (And if my understanding of the Hannibal fandom is correct, this theory matches well the man’s jaunty flower crown.)
*fistbump* I'm not a real alto, but I love singing in the basement (and chest voice in general)! And the rhythms and harmonies, of course.
I have to mention West Coast Balkan Camp – I went two years ago and I'm hoping to go again this year. It's really fun if you can make it! It's a long drive, but there are definitely folks who carpool down from Seattle and Portland.
I performed with a German folk dancing group in high school. I find that with Oompah, the flower crowns amplify the hilarious overall effect of wounded teenage dignity.
So many flower crowns skipping in perfect circles over so many resolutely scowling little faces.
My first communion picture belongs in this line up. My mum thought a stephanotis wreath would be SO pretty, ignoring the fact that every other girl making theirs was wearing a full-on bridal veil. SO of course the photographer put me in the middle.