ah lads
I fear this is the end for your old pal Handsome Pete
I am undone by my own babeliness
and must rest
til either the end of the earth or of mine own great hotness comes
this is it for me
im a goner
don’t talk like that
it’s not your time
it’s not your time yet
who are you trying to kid
I’ve been gorgeous for years now
nothing to do now but lay down and give up the fight
tell everyone –
no
tell everyone how hot I was
you tell ’em
you tell ’em yourself, Hank
Hank?
Hank?
im so hot i dont think ill ever be able to stand up again ralphie
the hotness just melted right through my spine
oh no
im a fox
alas, my body, it’s so good
doc give it to me straight
am i too beautiful to walk again
oh my god
oh my god i look so good i have to sit down
just to rest for a minute
oh no
it’s even better than i thought
help me
im gorgeous
2 comely 2 lift my own head
go away
leave me alone
i’m sleepy and beautiful and you dont understand me
do you want us to wake you up later
i’ll wake up when i’m ugly
so never
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.