ANTHONY THE GREAT: let’s all move to the desert
there’s more God where sand is
PACHOMIUS THE GREAT: what if we all lived alone
but together
ANTHONY THE GREAT: what
PACHOMIUS THE GREAT: obviously mostly alone
but maybe a LITTLE bit together
so we don’t all have to build our own wells
ANTHONY THE GREAT: spiritually I don’t even want to talk about any food that isn’t bread
the greatest prayer of all is shutting up
DIOCLETIAN: more like the Desert Bothers
ATHANASIUS: [braids rope in total silence] ah man God’s gonna love this
BROTHERS: father Anthony
please give us your wisdom
instruct us
speak to us
ANTHONY THE GREAT: never
…you’re welcome
MACARIUS: I don’t want to talk to ANYONE who isn’t God
or maybe a bird God sent to visit me
or another monk who has seen a God-bird and wants to tell me about it
but that’s IT
PAUL OF THEBES: i’m going to go build a hut by myself and spend the rest of my life not leaving God alone
PAUL OF THEBES: God
God
God
hi God
hello God
hi God hi
God
God are you still there
hi God
God
God
God
God it’s me your old pal Paul of Thebes
SIMEON STYLITE: brothers it’s VERY important to God that i live on the smallest place there is
this sand isn’t enough anymore
gotta sit up on a stone wall and hurl prayers at God til he sends birds after me
ANTHONY THE GREAT: excuse me, fellas
gotta go look at some demons with my stern face
turn em into smoke
show em what’s what
DISCIPLE OF ARSENIUS THE GREAT: more like Ar-sinlessness the Great
MONK #1: you know what i hate
MONK #2: what
MONK #1: cities
and fellowship
living near someone
MONK #2: oh my wow
me too
MONK #1: oh wow
MONK #2: we have so much in common
MONK #1: ok well see you next year
MONK #2: talk then
JOHN COLOBOS: [silently basket-weaving] gonna fill this with holiness
HILARION: what is this
TWO cloaks?
what am I
the emperor??
i’ve only got one body and one God
what do I need two clothes for
