The Desert Fathers -The Toast

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ANTHONY THE GREAT: let’s all move to the desert
there’s more God where sand is

PACHOMIUS THE GREAT: what if we all lived alone
but together


PACHOMIUS THE GREAT: obviously mostly alone
but maybe a LITTLE bit together
so we don’t all have to build our own wells

ANTHONY THE GREAT: spiritually I don’t even want to talk about any food that isn’t bread
the greatest prayer of all is shutting up

DIOCLETIAN: more like the Desert Bothers

ATHANASIUS: [braids rope in total silence] ah man God’s gonna love this

BROTHERS: father Anthony
please give us your wisdom
instruct us
speak to us

you’re welcome

MACARIUS: I don’t want to talk to ANYONE who isn’t God
or maybe a bird God sent to visit me
or another monk who has seen a God-bird and wants to tell me about it
but that’s IT

PAUL OF THEBES: i’m going to go build a hut by myself and spend the rest of my life not leaving God alone

hi God
hello God
hi God hi
God are you still there
hi God
God it’s me your old pal Paul of Thebes

SIMEON STYLITE: brothers it’s VERY important to God that i live on the smallest place there is
this sand isn’t enough anymore
gotta sit up on a stone wall and hurl prayers at God til he sends birds after me

ANTHONY THE GREAT: excuse me, fellas
gotta go look at some demons with my stern face
turn em into smoke
show em what’s what

DISCIPLE OF ARSENIUS THE GREAT: more like Ar-sinlessness the Great

MONK #1: you know what i hate

MONK #2: what

MONK #1: cities
and fellowship
living near someone

MONK #2: oh my wow
me too

MONK #1: oh wow

MONK #2: we have so much in common

MONK #1: ok well see you next year

MONK #2: talk then

JOHN COLOBOS: [silently basket-weaving] gonna fill this with holiness

HILARION: what is this
TWO cloaks?
what am I
the emperor??
i’ve only got one body and one God
what do I need two clothes for

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