What is the opposite of a dirtbag? A li’l sweetheart.
“The only real currency…is friendship.”
“It’s possible to admire someone else’s financial system without questioning your own.”
“Loving the market wasn’t a mistake, but thinking that the market loved me back was.”
“I like my money where I can see it – hanging in my closet.”
“You miss 100% of the revolutions that you never instigate.”
“Friendship, like capitalism, is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.”
“Don’t redistribute behind me; I may not lead. Don’t redistribute in front of me; I may not follow. Just redistribute beside me and be my friend.”
“It’s not the number of class systems we take, but the number of moments that take our class systems away.”
“Maybe our dialectics are our soulmates, and guys are just people to have fun with.”
“I don’t want to pursue revolution – I want revolution to pursue me.”
“The best way not to get you class system broken is by pretending you don’t have one.”
“Produce like no one is listening. Distribute like nobody’s watching. Contribute like you’ve never been hurt.”
“Don’t forget to fall in love with your own labor theory of value first.”
“Alienation is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
“There is nothing better than a petit bourgeoisie, unless it is a petit bourgeoisie with chocolate.”
These made me uncomfortable.
“Produce like no one is listening. Distribute like nobody’s watching. Contribute like you’ve never been hurt.”
I definitely like that one better than the original.
WORD. I may actually make an unironic poster of that one, because it’s relevant!
as soon as I recover from the awesomeness of this gif.
brb watching forever
PRINTING THIS OUT NOW
NOICE.
I’m on my phone in the PT waiting room, so no gif but please pretend there’s a Moriarty Bless You Thank You gif here.
hahaha yay. Good luck in PT!
If this doesn’t TAKE OFF on pinterest we have failed as a species.
I am all hormonal and still kind of mentally fragile and I’m all verklempt about that one.
I think I might prefer “distribute like EVERYBODY’S watching” or “distribute like you’ve never been hurt” instead….
Sweet Karl turned bittersweet when I misread the line:
“It’s not the number of class systems we take, but the number of moments that our class systems *take away.*”
“Produce like no one is listening. Distribute like nobody’s watching. Contribute like you’ve never been hurt.”
Wow, that bears an uncanny resemblance to the advice I get about writing from people in my life who don’t write
and who never have to deal with clients and/or actual readers.
“You miss 100% of the revolutions that you never instigate.”
I mean I feel like there’s some sort of real advice hiding in a few of these…
Fortunately, instigating a revolution is as easy as posting political links to your Facebook wall!
i want each of these quotes to be paired with a different conventionally beautiful woman doing yoga on the beach in front of sea lions with a lens flare
*sniffle* i’m just so…so happy
I enjoy how much you are on top of this post today.
It’s nice to get to use my social media skills for fun instead of banality.
I just appreciate that you didn’t forget the lens flare!
Delicious petit bourgeoisie with chocolate… *drools*
Gives new meaning to “eat the rich.”
I think you’ve found a new thing Mallory. Yep, the possibilities are enormous. Looking forward to more!
L’il Sweetheart Nietzsche.
Did she already do L’il Sweetheart Ayn Rand?
I see inspirational posters gracing middle and high school lockers across the country…
“Alienation is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
Uncomfortably accurate
That’s why I always just plan for alienation.
But what if my ultimate life goal is to stay home alone and watch Netflix…?
“Workers of the world – big group hug!”
The workers should own the means of SNUGGLES!
You have nothing to lose but your loneliness!
I grew up going to Socialist party meetings (my parents and my best friend’s mom were members), and this is pretty accurate.
Now picturing the sitcom where sweet Karl takes NYC by storm with his three best gal pals. On the next episode, can Karl strategically redistribute some wealth so he can afford those Manolos on a freelancer’s budget???
“Now picturing the sitcom where sweet Karl takes NYC by storm”
Wait wasn’t that the General Council of the First International?
A Bakunin vs. Marx sitcom *would* be very entertaining, by the way…
“The best way not to get your class system broken is by pretending you don’t have one.”
historically accurate
Practically the US national motto.
“Nobody can alienate you from the products of your labor without your consent.”
“If you love without evoking love in return – if through the vital expression of yourself as a loving person you fail to become a loved person, then your love is impotent, it is a misfortune.”
AKA: “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn/Is just to love and be loved in return”
AKA: NAT KING COLE CRIBBED KARL MARX.
I’ve got the feeling that Mallory has something particularly horrible in store for us to follow the Sweetheart Marx and Old Dog posts.
It will be terrible and upsetting and we’ll love it.
*whispers* ghoooooost
….*self-inflicted whimper*
“Loving the market wasn’t a mistake, but thinking that the market loved me back was.” TOO TRUE, MALLORY, from someone who got buuuuuurned on the academic job market this fall/spring. I knew it was miserable, but I had a great CV, and was secretly a little non-despairing.
NOW I KNOW BETTER. -clutches sweetheart Karl Marx to chest and sobs-
This is me now.
“Loving the market wasn’t a mistake”
As someone who’s been on multiple rounds of the AJM, I would argue that Mallory is, uncharacteristically, wrong.
I just got rejected from the only academic job that I actually had an interview for. Not even tenure track. I have two peer reviewed articles. Sigh. Lets try not to take it personally (*sobs*).
Not even interviews here, Cbear ._.
BUT I FEEL YA. -GROUP HUGS-
“You miss 100% of the Facebook political fights you never start. BERNIE 2016 FEEL THE BERN WOOOOOO”
(2016 Karl Marx would definitely be a Berniebro, right? right??)
I think Marx would have looked somewhat askance at social democrats like Bernie, though. I’m not 100% certain he wouldn’t have been all “go ahead, vote Trump, because that will HAVE to bring on the revolution asap.”
I think Marx would have looked somewhat askance at social democrats like Bernie, though
ah, I don’t think he would. I think Bernie would have been right up his street. Marx was a lot more radical in theory than he was in practice!
I feel like this is a good place to post one of my favourite images ever:
Aw, I love how modern 20 year old Marxists look exactly the same as 20 year old Karl Marx like 90% of the time. Adorable.
I can confirm that this is also accurate for 45 year old professors with “ambiguous” political preferences. One is currently teaching my European Intellectual History class.
Mutton chops and Doc Martens are ageless.
The man is my intellectual idol.
Next in Mallory’s series: Things I Have Mistaken for Intellectual Integrity Over the Years.
90% of it is Glasses.
Why is that picture so attractive, goddammit, I will fight him
Like Young Stalin? His hotness makes me wildly uncomfortable.
Wow, that is massive. I am so sorry.
massively hot and uncomfortable, you mean
Also very true.
How has he got such sweet eyelids?
This awkward Yahoo answers question about getting this haircut is entirely appropriate here: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=2015…
This is amazing.
I had forgotten what a wonderful world Yahoo answers is.
I can 100% see Chris Traeger from Parks and Rec saying ALL of these.
“If you can’t handle me at my Grundrisse, you don’t deserve me at my Das Kapital”
Pumpkin spice latte is the opiate of the masses
I just appreciate that you didn't forget the lens flare!
I think we need Weber next…I’ve already got the first one: “don’t let your world be disenchanted. make your own magic.”
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