ByBeulah Maud Devaney

Beulah Maud Devaney is a freelance writer and social media specialist (yes, really). She lives in Amsterdam and writes about books and feminism.

  1. Beulah Maud Devaney's previous work for The Toast can be found here.

    In your previous life you were a medical practitioner and accidentally killed a patient while drunk. Since then you have stopped drinking, changed your name to something with the same initials as your previous name, and moved within 5 miles of the original murder. You have also married the dead patient's spouse.

    You have received a letter from a

  2. If she is attractive; tell your readers exactly how attractive, within the first paragraph. Speculate on whether she is attracted to you. If she has become successful and not moved to a Western country; ask why, speculate on if she realizes how attractive she is: could this be the reason why she hasn't moved? If she writes about a non-Western country; see if you can find a dead white guy to quote. It…