Every line of this is horrifyingly cringe-inducing, but this – this, beloveds – if you are ever considering putting on a blonde wig and flying to your ex-fiancé's house, please call me first, and I will take you out for...for literally anything. Anything else.

You must be so tired! That day was your day. You went to Great Places! You went off and away! You had brains in your head. You had feet in your shoes. And you steered yourself In directions you'd choose. You went on your own. And you knew what you knew. And you were the one who would pick what to do. You walked up and down streets. Looked them over with care. Some you…