Texts From Emily Dickinson -The Toast

Texts From Emily Dickinson

ByDaniel Mallory Ortberg

on August 14, 2013 in Texts From

Previous entries in the series can be found here.

I saw —
Today —
a Cricket Man,
okay
he did not stop to Chat —
is that it
did anything else happen
No —

let’s go out tonight okay
we don’t have to do anything big but I think we should go out
just for dinner or something
I think that would be a good idea
Go out, Again?-
I went Out to Mount Holyoke
for college
you went there for college thirteen years ago
And now I must rest.

have you seen —
my Shawl
which shawl
the White shawl
I thought you were wearing your white shawl
a person can have more than one white Shawl
a person cannot be content with but one white Shawl
i think i saw it downstairs
Alas
just on the couch
You know I do not go downed Stairs
I will knit a new one
that’s ridiculous
when I die
I wish to be buried in that Shawl
I wish to be buried — in ten Thousand Shawls —
you’re not dying
you’re just afraid of the stairs
No Coward Soul Is Mine
I fear no Step’d Floor
do you want me to just bring it to you
if you are already going to be coming Upstairs
will you also grab my slippers by the Door
and also —
yes?
some — Tea
okay
also there are four more Shawls on the stairs
bring those too

A narrow Fellow in the Grass
Occasionally rides –-
do you mean Harris?
the caretaker?
You may have met Him –-
That’s Harris
did you not
His notice sudden is -–
have you been hiding in the yard again?
he is snakes
He is not snakes
he is definitely Snakes
you know it scares the maids when you hide in the yard
A Burdock – clawed my Gown
Emily
A Bird came down the Walk
A Rat Surrendered here
Emily none of this is true
Fame is a Bee
I can see you from the window
nothing’s clawing at you or surrendering
a soft Sea is washing around the house
I haven’t told the Garden yet
Emily why don’t you come inside
A Toad can die of Light, you know
I know
why don’t you come inside
I’ll get your white shawl
which white Shawl
whichever one you want
I want the one in the library
okay
will you come inside then?
Toads can die of light you know
I believe you
Kills them right up

Emily
Emily, dearest
will you please let me in?
I just want to air out your room
Air has no Residence
no Neighbor
Emily, it’s been an awfully long time since you came out
can I please come in?
not — Now —
When can I come in?
After a hundred years
Emily
will you give me a real amount of time, please?
After all Birds have been investigated and laid aside
do you have birds in there?
After the Sun comes out
Emily
answer the question
At Half past Three
how many birds are in there
A single Bird
this is why people don’t visit us
the bird thing
Back from the cordial Grave I dragged him
is the bird still alive, Emily?
do you know what the Best witchcraft is?
Emily
Geometry
just tell me if the bird is still alive
COCOONS ABOVE
COCOONS BELOW
I’m coming in
COCOONS

Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.

Comments (43)

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+44 Vote up Vote down

fondue with cheddar 84p · 607 weeks ago

He is definitely Snakes.

Aaaahh this is fantastic.

2 replies · active 607 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

lonely cheese 96p · 607 weeks ago

So good! "he is definitely snakes" made me giggle.

+24 Vote up Vote down

fondue with cheddar 84p · 607 weeks ago

Lonely cheese! Come sit by me and we will be delicious cheeses together.

+2 Vote up Vote down

lonely cheese 96p · 607 weeks ago

Perfect! A delicious cheese party is the best kind of party. But then I'll have to change my name. Gregarious gouda, maybe, or chatty camembert?

+4 Vote up Vote down

fondue with cheddar 84p · 607 weeks ago

You can be hushed havarti for all I care. We can cuddle if you don't want to talk. I just want to surround myself with cheese, always.

+141 Vote up Vote down

elsamac 121p · 607 weeks ago

New phone, who is this

I'm nobody, who are you

+8 Vote up Vote down

icebergmama 113p · 607 weeks ago

COCOONS

+24 Vote up Vote down

missellabell 116p · 607 weeks ago

This is my favourite and I know I have to stop saying this, but this one really is. There is a story in it.

4 replies · active 607 weeks ago

+4 Vote up Vote down

CaitlinPodiak 118p · 607 weeks ago

This one is my favorite, too.

+25 Vote up Vote down

steampunk sparrow 100p · 607 weeks ago

They are all my favorite. Texts from is the official Best Thing.

+7 Vote up Vote down

daisymap 106p · 607 weeks ago

EVERY TIME I think we have reached the pinnacle of my appreciation for Texts From I am proved wrong. Each one is better than the last.

+3 Vote up Vote down

rosalineee 80p · 607 weeks ago

Agreed!

+24 Vote up Vote down

HotDoom 108p · 607 weeks ago

YES. Except I might actually faint and perish if there is a Texts from...Anne Shirley, Marilla or Diana Barry.

+5 Vote up Vote down

mavenvintage 86p · 607 weeks ago

I second this emotion.

+12 Vote up Vote down

phlippin 120p · 607 weeks ago

I believe I already not-so-subtly requested this on Hairpin once, but I shall do it again without shame: I need DRUNK DIANA TEXTS in my life!

+3 Vote up Vote down

Es_Petal 120p · 607 weeks ago

You guys have seen this, right? http://textsfromavonlea.tumblr.com

+2 Vote up Vote down

amativus 110p · 607 weeks ago

TEXT FIDDLESTICKS!

+6 Vote up Vote down

greyhavens9 97p · 607 weeks ago

I keep thinking Mallory can't top her previous Texts From. And then I am gladly proven wrong.

+28 Vote up Vote down

anninyn 124p · 607 weeks ago

"this is why people don’t visit us
the bird thing"

Oh Mallory

+10 Vote up Vote down

dandyliongirl 65p · 607 weeks ago

"And now I must rest"

this is perfect

+5 Vote up Vote down

YoungLeafedJune 122p · 607 weeks ago

*Hyperventilates with delight*. I'm imagining these coming from her sister Vinnie, the practical one (though also, the crazy cat lady one).

+2 Vote up Vote down

kickupdust 79p · 607 weeks ago

this really makes me want to read some emily dickinson!

+3 Vote up Vote down

mavenvintage 86p · 607 weeks ago

My favorite so far.

+37 Vote up Vote down

mclloyddavies 88p · 607 weeks ago

I sent this to my mother, who responded:
"Wondrous oh most wondrous! –
‘Humor’ is the thing with Elbows
That nudges in the Street –
Though undespised
It gives Naught to eat –
My blame -- not Elbows --
For laughing through my nose."

2 replies · active 607 weeks ago

+4 Vote up Vote down

TARDIStime 64p · 607 weeks ago

<3 your mum!

+2 Vote up Vote down

invisiblecities 64p · 607 weeks ago

I can't even...brilliant.
Now I'm trawling the corners of my brain as to who else would appreciate this...

+11 Vote up Vote down

S. Pebbletush 97p · 607 weeks ago

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER WRITTEN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
Love,
Mount Holyoke '08
English major, 19th cent. American lit fanatic
Owner/lover of Emily Dickinson coffee mug

+14 Vote up Vote down

S. Pebbletush 97p · 607 weeks ago

I think we need to collectively bring back the shawl. Snuggies are not nearly as cute.

2 replies · active 607 weeks ago

+2 Vote up Vote down

blushingflower 116p · 607 weeks ago

I am wearing one right now!

+1 Vote up Vote down

sabramorris 17p · 607 weeks ago

Genius

+55 Vote up Vote down

amativus 110p · 607 weeks ago

I know nothing in the world that has as much power as a word. Sometimes I write one, and I look at it, until it begins to shine.

is this why you take so long to reply

+2 Vote up Vote down

lilacwines 67p · 607 weeks ago

Mallory, this is WONDEROUS!

+6 Vote up Vote down

EmDash · 607 weeks ago

!

Reminds me of when my dad had me read a couple of her poems when I was in junior high without telling me anything about her and my reaction was "Wow, this lady needs to get out more."

+7 Vote up Vote down

Zueignung 109p · 607 weeks ago

This is fabulous as usual, but "No coward soul is mine" is from Emily Bronte.

2 replies · active 607 weeks ago

+51 Vote up Vote down

MalloryOrtberg 121p · 607 weeks ago

That's true! It was also Dickinson's favorite poem. She loved it so much that she had it read at her funeral. LAYERS WITHIN LAYERS

+7 Vote up Vote down

Zueignung 109p · 607 weeks ago

Ooh, I obviously did not know that! Thank you.

+41 Vote up Vote down

threlkelded 76p · 607 weeks ago

I like to imagine all the writers are texting the same person, and that person is so, so tired. I want to buy that person a drink.

+4 Vote up Vote down

madgehowlet 95p · 607 weeks ago

She's so right about the shawls, you know.

+13 Vote up Vote down

emilydeshlergould 23p · 607 weeks ago

kills them right up

2 replies · active 607 weeks ago

+4 Vote up Vote down

Hotbuttonissue 79p · 607 weeks ago

And that's when the mental snickering became out-loud snorting.

0 Vote up Vote down

Spinozagal · 602 weeks ago

Omg I feel like I'm in heaven! I wish I had discovered "The Toast" and especially "Texts from" sooner. Better late than never:) This installment is Perfection! (Prufrock is next favorite) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair in the midst of a crowded cafeteria. The shawl bit was brilliant!

+4 Vote up Vote down

Sarah-Jane · 601 weeks ago

oh please, please, please more texts from emily. you know she's not busy.

+1 Vote up Vote down

Ashley · 595 weeks ago

More texts from Emily, please!

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