Which Grand Duchess are you? Take this quiz and find out.

"We will have some capital hunting, you and I," said the general. "I shall be most glad to have your society."

"But what game –" began Rainsford.

"I'll tell you," said the general. "You will be amused, I know. I think I may say, in all modesty, that I have done a rare thing. I have invented a new sensation. May I pour you another glass of port?"

Dear Aunt Acid,

Am I asking too much? Is there a way for me to realign what I want out of a career, even if that means being okay with picking up other people's lunch every day until I die? At what point should I admit that I am not a strong enough writer to make it a career? Or do I just need a thicker skin?

Cut off my entire arm and face
Move
Throw myself into the whole sun
Excommunicate myself from every church and religion any ancestor of mine has ever joined

This post is NSFW, bc there are pictures from old copies of Playboy in here. Nips galore.

Here is a complete list of the books I was forbidden to read as a child, please add your own in the comments below:

Flowers in the Attic, V.C. Andrews, age twelve

Could her ears have more floof? No.