Ruby Tuesday’s ad campaign, 2013: “Ruby Tuesday’s latest ad campaign is drawing attention to the “hot, buttery” buns used in a new line of pretzel cheeseburgers by encouraging customers to have #FunBetweenTheBuns.
The casual dining mega-chain is combining a series of four entirely unsubtle video spots (featuring what one might call “mood music” and a flirtatious female voiceover) with an open call for customers to post pictures of their burgers on Twitter and Instagram with the hashtag #funbetweenthebuns. The luckiest users will have their dining exploits posted at funbetweenthebuns.com.”
2020: Put A Little Bit Of Ruby In Your Mouth
2044: Lick Smear Wipe Suck Drench Touch Suckle Drip Gooey Hot Bad Bitch Baby Freak Freak Freak Freak Unnhhh
2099: Lick Our Meat And Give Us Money
3000: A Ruby Tuesday’s ad executive wakes up in the middle of the night, sweating. What if our commercials aren’t sexy enough, he panics. What if nobody understands that our burgers symbolize sex. Fucking. Penis and vagina. Almost unconsciously, he draws the fingers of his right hand into a circle and weaves the forefinger of his left hand in and out of said circle. Because that’s the universal sign for sex.
He gets no more sleep that night.
2123: Slide Your Dick Into These Burgers, We Don’t Even Care, Pull Your Fucking Dick Out In The Middle Of The Restaurant And Just Fuck That Burger Over The Little Orange Plastic Tray, Just Do It, No One’s Watching, They Are Also All Fucking Their Burgers
2248: Our Burgers Will Literally Suck On Your Genitals Until You Achieve Orgasm Or Your Money Back
2327: ♪ Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck Our Burgers ♫ ♪ Fuck Them With Your Face
2505: The promise of Idiocracy finally achieved; Ruby Tuesday’s will at this point only sell handjobs.
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.