Previous entries in the series can be found here. 

i have eaten everything
that was in the icebox
you should probably go to the store again.
-wcw

i have eaten the little red wheelbarrow
that was in the icebox
and upon which so much depended
forgive me
i don’t even know why i did that
i guess i thought it was one of those little ice cream cakes
you know the kind that they shape to look like cars or whatever
that shit was disgusting
hey do we have any ice cream cakes though
-wcw

i have eaten the emperor of ice cream
who thought he could hide from me in the icebox
Let be be his finale of seem
sorry
-wcw

hi babe
are you at the store?

hi babe there’s something weird going on with the dishwasher
it won’t close all the way
i think one of the big wooden spoons fell through the slats or something
it keeps making this weird ca-chunk ca-chunk sound
i’ll call you and leave a message
so you can hear what it sounds like
-wcw

3 missed calls
1 new voicemail

hey if you’re at the store
would you pick me up some more of that red thing i like
in the tall box
honey i’m not at the store right now
i’m already on my way home
can you pick it up yourself this afternoon?
You sullen pig of a woman
you force me into the mud
with your stinking ash-cart
honey i’m sorry but i was just there yesterday
and i’m exhausted and i’m almost home
Well–
all things turn bitter in the end
whether you choose the right or
the left way
fine
fine i’ll go to the store
mm also we are out of plums again
so can you pick up some more while you’re there
thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu
-wcw