The Bombchu Bowling Alley Operator
“zzzzz…zzzzz… Huh? Wha–! Uh-oh! A customer!”
Granny
“Granny’s Potion Shop
Closed
Gone for Field Study
Please come again!
—Granny”
The Fisherman
“I’ll go out of business if you go somewhere else! I’m serious!”
“What? You want to know why I’m scratching all the time? What are you talking about? Actually, I have no idea. I’m serious!”
“How many years has it been? Seven years?! What have you been doing all this time?! You’re my only customer. I’m almost out of business! Seriously!”
Medigoron
“I’m working on something really cool right now! But I think it’s going to take a while… If you can wait five or six years, it should be ready. OK?”
“It looks like there is a problem with its durability… But still…”
I just completed a small weapon. How about it…”
The Carpenters
“A job where you can make a lot of money without much effort… The only thing I can think of is thievery… Is that a bad idea?”
Death Mountain Trail Guard
“Have you been to the Happy Mask Shop that just opened in the Hyrule Castle Town Market? Everyone is talking about it! My little boy pesters me for a popular mask, but I don’t have time to go there…So, could you go and get the mask for me next time you are in the Market? If you don’t feel like it, that’s OK, but…Well, I have no choice, this is my job…sigh…”
Ingo
“I can’t believe that I, the great Ingo, am working on this dump of a ranch! Because the owner is so lazy, I always have to do to all the work around here! I, the hard-working Ingo, should be in charge, not that lazy bum, Talon!”
Dampé
“Let me give you an advertisement for my side business… Dampé the Gravekeeper’s Heart-Pounding Gravedigging Tour! What’s gonna come out?! What’s gonna come out?! When I start digging, we’ll find out!”
Guard at the Castle Town Gatehouse
“Man, I am SO bored… Things would sure be more interesting if there were more… troubles in the world… Hey, that’s just between you and me, OK? Anyway, maybe we can let off some steam by breaking these jars.”
“Man, I am SO tired! The night watch is so boring! I wish some ghosts would come out or something….”
The Lake Scientist
“These eyeballs are so delicious! Tonight I will cook fried eyeballs for the first time in a long time! Uhoy hoy hoo houy hoy! Such great stuff! Please say thank you to King Zora! Eh? What? These are for making Biggoron’s Eye Drops? Oh, how disappointing! You should have said so in the first place!”
The Happy Mask Salesman
“We deal in masks that bring happiness to everyone! How would you like to be a happiness salesman? I’ll lend you a mask. You sell the mask and bring the money back here. If you want to read the fine print, take a look at the sign right over there. After you’ve sold all the masks, you will become happy yourself! Have faith…”
The Blue Twin Juggler
“I found a small drain hole on the right side of the castle that I thought I could sneak into, but I got stuck there.”
The one character who loves his job: Poe Collector
“The ghosts, called Poes, are spirits of concentrated hatred that appear in the fields and graveyard. They hate the world! Young man, if you catch a Poe, I will pay a lot of money for it… Heh heh hee! Because of the great Ganondorf, it is a fine time for a business like this… heh heh heh… Oh…I can only hope the world gets even worse!”
Tags: hating your job, lists, ocarina of time, the legend of zelda
The Guard at the Castle Town Gatehouse could not be happier that Ganondorf turned Hyrule into a nightmare hellscape.
This has a surprisingly good overlap with “characters from Ocarina of Time that terrified me as a child”.
Guys I got my Nintendo 3DS! My friend code is 0619-4509-9955. I only have Animal Crossing and Super Mario 3D Land at the moment but I’m planning on getting the new Zelda game when it comes out this week.
I spent 2 days building up what I thought was my town in Animal Crossing before I realized that I was actually using the town of the person who owned the game before me (bought it used) and I was not in fact the mayor… just a helpful resident who had moved to town. Sorry to Sam and the residents of Denvis that I had to delete in order to make my own town and become mayor.
Also, if the Castle Town Guard was supposed to be guarding all the money in those pots he was doing an absolutely terrible job.
I will add you when I get home, if your town needs cherries! My code is 5429-7502-9571.
I also really liked Super Mario 3D Land, even though I had to play some levels with the Pity Invincibility Fox Cloak.
Yay, thanks!
I have peaches as my native fruit and Isabelle gave me… cherries? I think? to plant, which haven’t grown into full trees yet, and also someone moved to my town and put their tent right on top of one of them.
I am still living in a tent myself, so I’m not sure if you can come visit yet or if I can leave yet but I’ll experiment!
Hi! My fc is 1907-7990-8855 — let’s be AC friends! I have all the fruits except for persimmons.
Yay, thanks! I’ll friend you!
I’m also planning on doing another 3DS post in the Friday open thread this week so we can gather all of the 3DS toasties.
My text tone is Navi’s “Hey LISTEN!” I often let it go on and on, because it annoys the crap out of my roommate. I’m experimenting to see how long it will take for him to snap and go into N64 flashbacks, complete with drooling and crying. FOR SCIENCE!
My brother’s text tone is the sound it makes when Link kicks open a treasure chest!
My text tone and ring tone are both “Hey! Listen!” It’s particularly entertaining when it goes off in large groups, mostly to see who recognizes it and has an immediate rage flashback.
“Hey! Listen!” is the text tone assigned to my boss.
My ring and text tone is also “Hey! Listen!” It’s entertaining when it goes off while with a large group, mostly to see who recognizes it and has an immediate rage flashback.
OMG, I want that immediately. That’s the most annoying sound in all of the games ever, but the thought of annoying other people with it deeply appeals to me.
Am I a bit dense if it took me until early this year to realized that Navi is probably short for “navigation”?
But doesn’t the enthusiasm of the Beggar guy who says “Please… with (C)… Please sell me something… Please… with (C)…” make up for all that other negativity?
Also, if this guy is supposed to be a beggar, how can he pay 100 rupees for a single fish?
Sell me something with C! My brother and I used to yell that at each other all the time, complete with his frantic floor-slapping.
But doesn’t the enthusiasm of the Hyrule/Kakariko Village beggar make up for all this negativity? “Please… with (C)… Please sell me something… Please… with (C)…” He’s so eager!
However, how is he a beggar, but can pay 100 rupees for a single fish? Never understood that.
Sobbing hysterically with joy right now, I’m so happy this exists.
This is totally a JRPG trope and I dunno why cuz that shit would not fly in Real Japan.
This is totally a JRPG trope and I dunno why cuz that shit would not fly in Real Japan.
i mean, what kind of business is that even, poe collector? paying for having ghosts of pure hatred hanging around inside your house?
I always thought that guy was supposed to be a junkie, but I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks.
This is amazing! Monday made! Also, the screen shots are just making me want to break out my old N64 and play through the whole game.
There is literally no possible way you could regret doing that.
Am I a bit dense if it took me until early this year to realized that Navi is probably short for "navigation"?