1. Stanley Tucci.

2. Stanley Tucci’s teeth.

3. How you see even more of Stanley Tucci’s perfect teeth when he bares them and throws his head back to laugh appreciatively.

4. Mechanical death-mandrills are not the problem. Non-human primates are the problem, and they WILL come for us, and the fact I predicted it will give me little pleasure as I’m eaten or placed in an elaborate fortress to live out my days in torment and regret.

5. Never let your cardio slip, guys. Never. You think you’re out, but you need to be ready at any and all times to be thrown in a death arena with a handful of amped-up career Crossfitters who have also killed a bunch of people.

6. Peeta was less annoying in this movie.

7. Gale is pretty hot.

8. Femlash Friday request: Katniss/Jena Malone’s character.

9. I am exactly brave and nice enough to be Effie Trinket, and no more.

10. Like, being Cinna would be way too brave.

11. CINNA (cries forever)

12. Okay, though, there’s a little bit too much white-saviour stuff, right?

13. Then again, the fact the filmmakers mostly stuck to Collins’ obvious efforts to have racially diverse characters resulted in some epic shit-fits from idiots, so you win some you lose some, I guess.

14. But, no, the SEA of black people in District 11 being super-grateful to Katniss for not killing a little girl was a bit much.

15. I don’t understand why everyone didn’t have sex constantly during training or while in transit (both movies.)

16. Because, right, either you’re going to be dead in a week, or you’ll be mega-rich and in a basically consequence-free enivronment.

17. Live a little! “Tubes up in ten minutes.” “Cinna, you want to go for it, or what?”

18. Jeffrey Wright is the best part of everything he touches.

19. I don’t know if I could even be Effie. I think I could be a sponsor who sends Katniss something, and then feels really good about having done so and made sure their friends knew about it.

20. If you’re going to tell me someone had their teeth filed into points so she could rip out her enemies’ throats, I damn well better see that bitch rip out someone’s throat.

21. This movie was great.