Previously in the Ronbledore saga: This guy on an old Harry Potter forum says Dumbledore is a time-traveling Ron Weasley and I want to hear him out.
Fans of the Harry Potter series were stunned this weekend after author JK Rowling finally admitted her regret in pairing Ron and Hermione together, implicitly lending her support to the “Ron is a time-traveling Dumbledore” theory that has resulted in the death and denial of so many. While some claim it is too little, too late — particularly those who fought in the Ronbledore front lines with no assistance for years — it must be seen as a remarkable victory for supporters of truth.
(Lest we forget: “’4. Foreshadowing. Ron makes it very clear on several occasions that he hates the color maroon. Could it be because he will eventually be ‘marooned’ in time?’ YES.”)
From The Sunday Times (TIMES??!?! THAT NAME IS NO COINCIDENCE):
“I wrote the Hermione/Ron relationship as a form of wish fulfillment [because I wished that Ron could be a normal human man instead of Dumbledore, trapped in time],” she says. “That’s how it was conceived, really [much as Ron was conceived as a Child of Time]. For reasons that have very little to do with literature [but a great deal to do with the Benghazi time-traveling Illuminati — This Ronbledore rabbit hole goes so deep. Benghazi time-traveling Illuminati doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. Everyone is involved in the cover-up. If you don’t think you’re a part of the cover-up, you’re already in too deep] and far more to do with me clinging to the plot as I first imagined it, Hermione ended up with Ron [until he disappeared from mortal eyes in the Weasley Quickening].”
“I know, I’m sorry,” she continued, “I can hear the rage and fury it might cause some fans, but if I’m absolutely honest, distance has given me perspective on that. It was a choice I made for very personal reasons, not for reasons of credibility. Am I breaking people’s hearts by saying this [this being that Ron Weasley is a time-traveling Albus Dumbledore and for this reason could never have truly loved Hermione in the way she needed to be loved]? I hope not.”
I have said this before and I will say it again: I will never be intimidated into silence about Ronbledore. Wake up, sheeple. The evidence is already all there in the books. Did Cedric Diggory know too much about Ronbledore? Why is “Cho Chang” an anagram for “Weasley Time Prison”? Why does Parvati Patil keep referring to Ron as “Headmaster Time-Child” during the Yule Ball before she dissolves into a disembodied ball of gas? We’re through the looking glass, here.
“But Ron Weasley is attracted to women,” I hear you say, “while Dumbledore is gay. How can you square that circle?” For the last time: time travel reverses your sexual orientation. This is why there are so many pure bisexuals on Torchwood. And I hear your follow-up question, you mewling hordes who demand to be spoon-fed the truth: “What about Hermione? She used the Time-Turner to take extra classes; did that turn her gay, too?” Yes. Hermione was super-mega gay every afternoon for exactly two hours, but she was too busy taking notes to ever do anything about it. Hermione has a very strict schedule. She plans on becoming a late-in-life lesbian at the age of exactly 53, and not a minute sooner.
Ginny Weasley never existed. You cannot time-travel without creating a shadow double or “flesh anchor.” The same is true of Viktor Krum; this is why no one but Hermione is ever seen interacting with him or even mentioning his name, and so much of book 4 is devoted to secret late-night conversations between Ron and Harry, who are deeply worried about how much Hermione is talking to herself in the library. There was only ever one Mad-Eye Moody. Neville Longbottom was a sentient memory created by Ronbledore after the real Lily Potter died. Merlin lived backwards in time, does T.H. White have to spell Ronbledore out for you?
Others will try to smear and discredit me. This is how you will know I am telling you the truth about Ronbledore.
Tags: harry potter, jk rowling, ron is a time traveling dumbledore, ronbledore, truth
Related Posts
This Guy On An Old Harry Potter Forum Says Dumbledore Is A Time-Traveling Ron Weasley And I Want To Hear Him Out
Statements That Can Be Easily Read As Compliments Without Being Lies
Femslash Friday: Choose Your Own Adventure
A Very Important Question About Redwall
Class Navigation: On Being Poor
Emily Books Book Club: The December Selection
This is the only thing on this commentary I want to read.
(J.K, SHUT UP. IT’S BEEN WRITTEN NOW.)
Oh, I think it’s fine! She’s not saying anyone has to go back and scratch out all the scenes where they kiss in the books, or whatever. She just would do it differently now, if she could!
It has resparked the great shipping wars of 2006, Mallory. People are committing Pseuicide.
(I just get really irritated with the way some authors can’t stop… fiddling with completed work once it’s in the world. I get the ‘I’d do it differently now, if I could’ feeling, but it IS done and you can’t)
Sure, but she’s not like, rewriting the books or having them re-shoot the movies or demanding that no one read the epilogue or what have you. It’s fine!
She SHOULD demand that no one read the epilogue.
I see what you mean (Hi, George Lucas!) but I think Rowling’s looking at it a different way than fans. I think she’s looking at it from the perspective of a writer/storyteller and thinking, “yeah, that wasn’t the best storytelling choice and it made me write the characters in ways that didn’t suit them and put me in a narrative corner etc etc” rather than “I changed my mind, here’s the new canon!”
I also came through those shipping wars, on the side of Romione. Then the relative peace of Half Blood Prince came, but it has turned out to be our Treaty of Versailles. Must we take to the field of battle again so soon? I fear I have grown too old, but I do not want to subject another generation to this strife.
(I have FEELINGS about Ron and his place in the fandom)
Once again they will take to the field. Sock puppets will be born and cruelly slaughtered. Websites will tremble under the weight. There will be faked corpses under every foot.
Hopefully the guardians, fandomwank and the others will rise from the ashes once again, strong enough to withstand and hold back the coming chaos – but I think they are too weak. Once again fandom blood will flow, but who will mock it now?
Who will mock it now?
Fandom Wank has an entry on this!
There is still hope.
I really think our only hope is that Harmony will mean opening a two-front war and a terse alliance may form between Romione and Harry/Ginny. These Allied Weasley Forces will triumph against the Harmony Axis.
Amen!
(ALSO, J.K., MANY OF YOUR FANS HAVE BEEN IGNORING THE EPILOGUE ANYWAY. LEAVE US IN PEACE.)
I strongly believe that she just enjoys trolling her readers.
I also think she’s pissed people didn’t fall in love with Pottermore and abandon the fan created sites/communities.
nothing about this sentence beyond “i also think she’s pissed” is comprehensible to me
Oh Mallory. May you someday understand human love.
no i mean what’s pottermore
Online Harry Potter game that goes chapter by chapter of the books. You can get sorted, learn extra background things about the characters, make potions. I guess the closest thing it reminds me of is Neopets? It was severely overhyped, imo.
What happens if an asexual person travels through time?
They become a pansexual femme with several pairs of adult-sized fairy wings.
Bisexual.
Everybody. Everywhere. Bisexual.
I mean, this is the obvious answer if we are viewing sexual orientation as a Venn diagram and therefore the “reverse” of someone’s orientation is, in fact, its complement. But if the opposite of straight is gay and vice versa, which I assume we are postulating if it is central to the argument that Ron is Dumbledore, that suggests a single-variable spectrum model.
Maybe the spectrum has multiple variables, and time travel actually rotates sexual orientation 180 degrees around the origin.
They become Captain Jack Harkness.
No change in sexuality, but we do become time lords.
Nothing sexual, but they develop an inexplicable craving for broccoli.
omnisexual
RONBLEDORE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE IN THIS CRAZY MIXED UP WORLD
Why is “Cho Chang” an anagram for “Weasley Time Prison”?
This is where I lost it. Mallory, I’ll follow you anywhere, including into the frontlines of the battle of Ronbledore.
Likewise. The title alone had me laughing at my desk. How’s a girl supposed to work when there is Dumbleronning to be had?
That and Benghazi and I was pretty much done for.
I am really sick with a horrible cough, and I started laughing/coughing so hard at that line that I had to use my inhaler just so I wouldn’t (literally) die. That’s how you know something is really funny.
Also, I’ve been repeating it to myself all day and chuckling.
This is the only opposition to Romione I will accept.
“This is why there are so many pure bisexuals on Torchwood”
It’s all coming together
It’s all happening
This was definitely the sentence that made me bite my lip to keep from cackling with glee at work.
See, this just proves that Hermione is a time-traveling, genderbending Grendelwald (she is the only person who has a time-travel machine). Why else would Rowling feel guilty about putting them together other than the fact that Hermionewald killed Ronbledore’s sister (time-traveling Ginniana – how else could Voldermort have so easily possessed her? She was already marked by a Dark Wizard). I mean, shit like that’s gonna fester and lead to some resentments.
BUT OF COURSE
……………..who do I contact about writing the authorized sequel where Hermione becomes the next dark lord with her gang of badly named children, nieces, and nephews seeking revenge against their hapless fathers!!! MISANDRY VINCIT OMNIA
Someone has to think of poor, poor Albus Severus Potter’s welfare, because clearly his parents don’t.
I dunno who to contact about getting that authorized, but when you’re done with it, send it my way because I wanna read it.
Can we make misandry a fandom?
When the nuclear winter settles after dedicated ronmione shippers find some abandoned soviet era nukes, we can die happy knowing that this is our legacy.
I will join the Misandry Fandom if it means that poor Hermione doesn’t have to be shoehorned into marriage with Harry OR Ron, for she is too good for them, amen.
Perhaps a situation where she becomes minister of magic and viscously wields power like the love child of olivia and mellie? But for the greater good.
Or gets with Ginny. They are both too good.
*exits to go look for Scandal/HP crossovers.*
olivia, mellie and hermione as a new roman triumvirate leading the world’s united governments is pretty much the only way we’re going to discover warp drive by 2063.
I only regret that I have but one life to give for Ronbledore.
Oh my god, HOW WERE WE SO BLIND?
Approved. I shall sing your praises far and wide. This is now the One True Canon.
I tried to read this aloud to my office friends but laughed so hard that it was mostly just hysterics. But I will not be silenced.
Isn’t Dumbledore the time-traveling Ron? Ron kept living until old age and then time-travelled and became headmaster. If old-ass Dumbledore time-travelled, he’d still be old-ass.
I HAVE BECOME “THAT GUY”
Back on the realms of Things That Matter, I’m deeply saddened to learn that Ginny Weasley never existed: I was hoping she and Luna could also travel back in time and live the romance they truly deserve.
Thank you, Ginny/Luna needs a femmeslash Friday
I love hearing about the Potter universe. Love love love it. If JK ever reads this, please keep releasing these little facts until I die, maybe on a timed schedule like once a month or so. I want to hear about where else the story could have done, what happened to *everyone* and just anything Potter related. Sigh. True fandom 4 life!
Where is the Crazy Old Maurice tag?
I just jumped onto Fandom Wank, and it is delightful. I can’t believe I didn’t think about doing this yesterday.
Also, the layout for the website has stayed exactly the same for nearly ten years, what is this madness, I love it.
oh man, Fandom Wank still exists??
day. made.
Apparently! Scrolling through, it looks like prior to this post it had been updated on a bimonthly basis.
“For the last time: time travel reverses your sexual orientation. This is why there are so many pure bisexuals on Torchwood. ”
Is where I started laughing so hard my eyes teared up.
I know one girl writing Hermione/Pansy Parkinson slash fiction that would definitely be interested to learn about the effects of time travel on Ms. Granger.
two hours a day
I WANT TO BELIEVE
Wait, Mallory, does this mean that all my LGBT friends are Time Travellers?
I’m not Mallory, but yes. Yes it does.
I mean, it certainly doesn’t mean they’re NOT time travelers.
Or maybe your LGBT friends were always LGBT and your straight friends are the time travellers? mindfuck.
I just read this at my desk and had to work so hard to laugh silently and not disturb my coworkers that I have tears in my eyes right now.
I AM 100% ON BOARD WITH THIS THEORY.
“The ships were all manned though a few had been banned
And a good many more made folks squicky
Well they all read the books and then got dirty looks
Because Rowling had written quite tricky
Many shippers were pissed and a few felt quite dissed
As their ships all fell into the water
Then the wailing began, from the mouths of the fans
On the ships of the fleet Harry Potter”
Go back to 2005 and rejoice: http://scifantasy.dreamwidth.org/176747.html
Who wrote this. Just saying but this is the BIGGEST PILE OF PURE, UTTER **** I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. NON E FO THIS MAKE SENSE YOU HAVE BASICALLY JUST REWRITTEN JKS INTERVIEW THIS IS ABSOLUTE ********
“Others will try to smear and discredit me. This is how you will know I am telling you the truth about Ronbledore.”
I read this as “otters will try to smear and discredit me” and liked it.
Hermione’s Patronus is an otter.
My God. Clearly Hermione is using her Patronus to obfuscate the truth, just as Harry used his Patronus to save himself and Hermione, that time in POA when Harry traveled in time. That time when Ron was suspiciously too injured to go with them….
<3
It’s so sad to see someone whose eyes have been clouded to the truth by Big Romione and their iron grip over the lamestream media. RONBLEDORE LIVES HASH TAG ILLUMINATI take that obungler
This makes so much sense. Dumbledore gave Ron his deluminator because he KNEW that Ron would abandon Harry and Hermione.
Mallory, sometimes I read your stuff and find myself yelling “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT” at my computer and for the rest of the day everyone gives me a wide berth because somehow I’m the crazy one.
I love it. Thank you.
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
-Ronbledore who decides to be both the best friend that helps shape Harry into the lead character, and as the mentor/father figure.
Ronbledore knows he is not the one in the prophecy to defeat the Dark Wizard so he ensures Harry is on the right track to defeat the Dark Wizard each step of the way.
Ronbledore awards Ron 50 points for being good at Chess/winning the House Cup/boosting the confidence of Harry, Hermione, and Ron at a crucial point in their lives.
The greatest threat to Harry’s development was oft maligned hero Gilderoy Lockhart -if Lockhart killed the basilisk, who would become the hero? Not Harry. Ronbledore places Lockhart under the imperius curse, forces L to make up a story about his proficiency at memory charms and then used Ron’s “broken” wand to erase Lockhart’s memory. How convenient.
Ron’s fear of spiders because web = timeweb /being trapped forever or something like the fear of the color maroon.
It is known that Madame Pomfrey can heal a broken leg with a snap of her wand yet when Ron was hurt in Shrieking Shack, he was infirmed for quite some time – during the same time that Dumbledore permitted for both Harry/Hermione use of the Time Turner which must have required a lot of power/magic. COINCIDENCE?!?!
Ariana Dumbledore is obviously from the Alternate universe in which Ron fails to save Ginny from the Chamber of Secrets and it is what actually inspires him to build his time turner to go back into time. Aberforth is the sole surviving brother of the Weasley family, obvs (after the great purge by Voldemort in the alternate timeline think “Days of Future Past” style). Time travel is an extremely taboo / dangerous dark magic which is why the two argued and become estranged, duh.
Also Dumbledore’s hand turning black/poisoning his body is obviously a side effect of using magic this dark and powerful that can alter the course of human history. What a guy.
truly, a magnum opus of a comment.
A magnificent mountain of a comment conflating Harry Potter with X Men. I MAY LOVE YOU.
First J.K. puts Hermione with Ron instead of Harry. Then she says Dumbledore is gay. Now she says Dumbledore is time traveling Ron.
Death of the author needs to happen soon.
This has nothing to do with Ronbledore, but Hermione’s patronus is an otter. Who looks like an otter? Benedict Cumberbatch! Is this a coincidence?
i made an account to comment just to let you know that i have the hugest internetcrush on you and also my only interaction with facebook these days is linking to your articles LIKE THIS ONE WHICH IS PRETTY GREAT AS PER USUAL
NOPE.
Word.
Um. How do you explain the existence of the rest of the Weasley family? And does time-travelling also change the colour of your hair?! This theory has way too many loopholes in it to be considered true.
best use of “wake up sheeple” I have ever seen
I just realized that Dumbledore gave Ron his Put-outer because for some reason Dumbledore knew that Ron will need it most. How do you say did he know?? hmmmm because Dumbledore=Ron!!!!!!! #Ronbledore
All these evidences are great but ‘what about the ambitious power seeking gifted wizard from the life & lies of Albus Dumbledore chapter in HP DH’ character mismatch is clearly evident.
That was written by Rita Skeeter. She is the equivalent of a tabloid writer. Would you trust what she says?
Why, they become pansexual, of course.
Viktor Krum is corporeal as Harry talks to him at the wedding when he looks like someone else (pollyjuice potion) and Krum asks him about Lovegood wearing the hallows symbol
Are all the Weasley children ‘conceived’ of time?… The clock in the kitchen with all of their faces gives good indication.
oh my gosh. my life has come together. everything makes sense. bless you, tumblr
Is this the Onion or what? i’m a Harry Potter fan since my childhood, reading the books way before the movies were made. This ROnbledore theory makes absolutely no sense.
Actually yes it does since Dumbledore knew Ron was going to leave Harry and Hermione in the 7th book which may be why he gave the light aka luminator to him as he already lived through this time period making Dumbledore nonexistent in future generations since he died during his time traveling journeys. Ever wonder how he knew what was going to happen next that’s why and that may have been the reason why he was more powerful than Voldemort a powerful dark wizard. Everything that happens in book happens for reason even if it was hidden from the readers.
“The same is true of Viktor Krum; this is why no one but Hermione is ever seen interacting with him or even mentioning his name, and so much of book 4 is devoted to secret late-night conversations between Ron and Harry, who are deeply worried about how much Hermione is talking to herself in the library. ”
I don’t know what book you’ve been reading but based on this statement it was not Goblet of Fire by J K R. What a load of idiotic inacurracies you’ve been spilling in this article. Krum is a superstar, everyone at the world cup sees him, says his name cheers him on. At Hogwarts, karkaroff offers Krum whine as soon as they arrive, ron wants an autograph. Just two examples, th3e book is full of them. As for the rest of the article, what a load of garbadge. Why must you turn a book into something else entirely? If jkr really made these statements she needs to stop. She needs to stand behind the books she wrote and stop trying to modify things now, it’s pathetic.
JK. ROWLING. NEVER. SAID. WHAT. IS. IN. THE. BRACKETS!!!!! This whole article is false!!!!!! If you look up what she really said, you’ll see she wasn’t talking about ronbledore she was talking about why Hermione didn’t end up with Harry!!!!!