Amy Collier’s previous work for The Toast can be found here.
His roommate, Evan’s ice cream
His classmate’s answers to the test
His roommate’s Wheaties, tucked on the shelf behind his roommate’s note about not eating his food or I’m going to fucking come after you Chris
This really cute golden lab puppy someone tied to a post outside of a cafe
Some CDs at Best Buy
Thirteen works of art at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, including Rembrandt’s Storm on the Sea of Galilee (1633), Vermeer’s The Concert (1658–1660), and a rare Chinese vase
His co-worker’s cookies
The perfect essay to submit for the Art History of the Western World 301A final
Second base during the baseball game
His co-worker’s idea to market to a new demographic and thus increase revenue by 20% every future quarter, and the ensuing promotion
Evan’s room
The payroll of the Pleasant Valley Coal Company
A red Ferrari in the sports arena parking lot
Evan’s parking space
Several major credit card company databases
Evan’s social security number
The Hope Diamond
A note with Evan’s girlfriend’s ring size on it
Evan’s girlfriend’s dad’s blessing
Evan’s girlfriend
A Nihon Shintaku Ginko Bank car, transporting 300 million Yen
$4 million dollars cash secured in a locked money cart within a heavily guarded vault, in the second basement of the Chicago First National Bank
John Travolta’s face
Several thousand dollars worth of Bitcoins
Roughly 3000 cattle intended to feed Union Troops
Evan’s favorite joke
Evan’s thunder at dinner parties
A priceless 22-karat gold cross embedded with sparkling green emeralds which was was found in the debris of the 1594 San Pedro shipwreck and displayed at the Bermuda Museum of Art
Fire from the gods
The family heirlooms in Evan’s hope chest
15 puppies sired by London Dalmatians Pongo and Perdita, as well as 86 other Dalmatian puppies of unknown origin, for a total of 101 Dalmatians
The rest of Evan’s hope chest
The scientific inventions of Nikola Tesla
Muzio Clementi’s Sonata in B-flat major
Evan’s poems
Christmas in Whoville
The Medal of Honor buried with Evan
