Anna Pulley’s previous haiku for The Toast can be found here.
Tegan and Sara’s
jawlines once saved a kitten
from a burning house.
*
Tegan and Sara’s
jawlines proved Pythagoras’
theorem factual.
*
Their faces inspired
the movie Jaws five years
before they were born.
*
A rock brushed against
Tegan’s jawline and was turned
into a diamond.
*
Staring at Sara’s
jaw has been shown to assuage
mild hangovers.
*
Architect Gehry
attributes “Bilbao Effect”
to the twins’ jawlines.
*
Their jaws cut enough
cheese to feed the homeless for
27 weeks.
*
Thus turning the phrase
“cut the cheese” from an insult
to a compliment.
*
Next to the duo’s
jaws, Channing Tatum’s abs look
like instant oatmeal.
Or:
In a cage match with
Channing Tatum’s abs, the twins’
jaws won “best upset.”
*
Their face lines are so
chiseled, the Great Sphinx sued for
breach of copyright.
*
Tags: anna pulley, beauty, lgbt, tegan and sara
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Their diamond-hard jaws:
Canada’s top exported
natural resource
Their diamond-hard jaws:
Canada's top exported
natural resource
Inspiration for
the original Ken Doll;
deemed: “just too chiseled”
This commenter was
So moved; I now want to write
A whole jaw sonnet.
I am here for every one of these other than the Pythagorean one. Because mathematicians get overly particular about how “theorems” aren’t “theories”. Furthermore, here’s a biologist to complain to y’all about “theory” and truth.
(although, SO SO here for the rest. My genetics indicate that I will have trouble holding on to the jawline I have, which I find sad, but at least I can take comfort in theirs….)
Jawlines of the gods
like the jutting mountain crags
Use them for shaving
Jawlines of the gods
like the jutting mountain crags
Use them for shaving