Certifiable Facts About Tegan and Sara’s Jawlines, in Haiku -The Toast

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Anna Pulley’s previous haiku for The Toast can be found here.


Tegan and Sara’s

jawlines once saved a kitten

from a burning house.

Tegan and Sara’s

jawlines proved Pythagoras’

theorem factual.

Their faces inspired

the movie Jaws five years

before they were born.

A rock brushed against

Tegan’s jawline and was turned

into a diamond.

Staring at Sara’s

jaw has been shown to assuage

mild hangovers.

Architect Gehry

attributes “Bilbao Effect”

to the twins’ jawlines.

Their jaws cut enough

cheese to feed the homeless for

27 weeks.

Thus turning the phrase

“cut the cheese” from an insult

to a compliment.

Next to the duo’s

jaws, Channing Tatum’s abs look

like instant oatmeal.




In a cage match with

Channing Tatum’s abs, the twins’

jaws won “best upset.”

Their face lines are so

chiseled, the Great Sphinx sued for

breach of copyright.

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