How To Talk To Babies About Postmodernism -The Toast

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babiesBABY: [knocks plate off of table]
ME: that’s right
in postmodernism we reject the notion of ‘totality’


ME: what book do you want to read
do you want to read ‘Go, Dog, Go’ or ‘Pat The Bunny’
BABY: buhh
ME: are you saying Bunny?
BABY: buhh
ME: that’s right
resist the metanarrative
here is no such thing as outside-of-the-text
the dog can go nowhere


ME: looks like you’ve outgrown these jammies
BABY: [kicks]
ME: have you also outgrown epiphenomenalism?
BABY: [kicks]
ME: are you kicking the notion of a hierarchical system of cause-and-effect away from you
is that what you’re doing
BABY: [kicks]
ME: good


BABY: hi
ME: what else
BABY: hi
ME: …degger


ME: what is that in your hand
BABY: block
ME: very good
and what do we do with blocks
BABY: [gnaws block]
ME: that’s right
we experience the merging of subject and object, self and other


BABY: [rips up paper]
ME: excellent
explore the text
BABY: [eats paper]
ME: oh VERY good

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