GILBERT: welcome to the neighborhood, mysterious stranger
HELEN: thank you
my greatest desire is to be left in peace and solitude
I’m sure you will not think it rude if I –
GILBERT: i don’t understand
HELEN: I personally prefer to live alone
GILBERT: is this some sort of code
HELEN: No
I just don’t like company
GILBERT: WOMEN
SUCH MYSTERIES
AN ENIGMA WRAPPED IN A RIDDLE AND CLEVERLY SEWN INTO A PUZZLE
MR BOARHAM: ah my lady
is this seat taken
HELEN: it is, sir
for I have no desire to speak with you
MR BOARHAM: ahaha
what charming banter
HELEN: please don’t talk to me
MR BOARHAM: very well
i shall not talk
i will only propose
HELEN: I don’t like you
MR BOARHAM: like Beatrice and Benedick
that’s what they’ll say about our courtship after we’re married
HELEN: your presence is disagreeable to me and I do not want to marry you
MR BOARHAM: haha
classic Helen
MRS MAXWELL: there are terrible rumors about Mr. Huntingdon’s character
HELEN: okay but HE says they’re not true
HELEN: there is no hope for my husband
he cheats on me with my friends
he’s a vicious alcoholic who burns my painting supplies and tries to get our three year-old son drunk
I must flee
MR HARGRAVE: ah, Helen
I have long been grieved by your plight
please let me help you
HELEN: thank you for your sympathy
I could use some help in planning my escape
MR HARGRAVE: I meant “help you” by having an affair
you know
to get back at him
HELEN: no
I just want to find somewhere safe where I can raise my son in peace
MR HARGRAVE: I don’t understand
HELEN: I don’t love my husband
MR HARGRAVE: right
HELEN: but I’m also not in love with you
MR HARGRAVE: well who are you in love with then
HELEN: no one
MR HARGRAVE: then why do you want to leave your husband
HELEN: to live in peace
alone
and to see my son grow up in safety
MR HARGRAVE: you TEASING MINX
WHY DO WOMEN NEVER SAY WHAT THEY MEAN
GILBERT: all our misfortunes and misunderstandings are over at last
and to think
it was only a year ago when i beat your brother nearly to death and left him in a pool of his own blood by the side of the road because i thought he was your boyfriend
HELEN: you what?
GILBERT: yes, they’re all over now, our misfortunes
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