A Style Guide For The Dystopia

by Mallory Ortberg · September 24, 2015

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Our roots lie in the Hardfought Wastes, but increasingly we find our work applicable across the Lands of the Trackless. Our future, like that of so many others, depends on consistent usage of best practices in every region under the Skyburn.

Discontents

  • General notes on distinguishing the Unfettered from the Self-Born
  • Concise articles with snappy intros (future users may have mere seconds to scan through the manual before the redhand descends)
  • Keep your readers in mind – are they Immutable, or merely Imperishable?
  • On metaphor and avoiding figurative speech in your petitions to the Preacher-Harvesters
  • Survival first, clarity second
  • Images – remember them?
  • There’s no time to thank about them now
  • Echtra vs. Otherworld and other naming conventions

Introduction

Stick to Magisterial (sanctioned-speech) spelling, but the rules of punctuation vary more subtly between Weather Precincts; choose the most common-sense rules from both.

Focus your message – you only have four sec-tics

  • Some of the most effective messages use only one word. If you have multiple messages to send, try breaking them up into a series of cries for help. Examples include:
    • NO
    • RUN
    • THEY KNOW
    • HARVEST
    • SCYTHING
    • THEY HEAR
    • TRACKERS
    • THEY SEE
    • NO REST
    • HELP

Punctuation

There are many uses for apostrophes, but they are most commonly used for contractions (don’t touch, can’t see, won’t help) and to express possession. For example, if something is possessive it is Strelleth’s last hope, Granden’s shattered pelvis, or the Waster’s Hordes. This shouldn’t be confused with pluralization; adding an s doesn’t necessarily mean you need an apostrophe (e.g. horrors, lead-storms, creshers, Flesh Mines).

Ellipsis

Ellipses should have a space before and after, and with the exception of quotation and question marks, no punctuation should precede it. They should be used, for instance, in recording the final message of a lover whose plea for assistance from the Shrouded City was cut hideously short:

We woke it, we woke it, we woke it, I’m sorry, please send the Veiled Lords or they’ll b …

Title Capitalization

Capitalize everything.

Use your brand assets

  • Include your Holdmaker’s brand or sear at the top of your messages, so people know where it’s coming from
  • If you are challenged along the Carrier’s Way, reveal your Waking Scar to the Sere Seer, that they might know whose burden you bear
  • Whose are you now? Whose will you be when the Discerners come?

Know your Calls To Action

  • CTAs link readers to external content or ask them to do something, like point you in the direction of unblack water or hide you from the Grinning Ones. You can link images, buttons, or text, depending on whether or not your readers have learned to read or still possess eyes. Choose whichever suits your purpose, but don’t include too many CTAs in one message or readers will be swallowed by the Flying Desert before they can offer you shelter.

Bibliography

  • Calling For Aid When The Wakeful Eye Opens (Third Edition)
  • Style Manual for Water Marshals and Bread-Givers (Sixth Edition, Bronze Head)
  • There Is But One Chance (First And Only Edition)

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27 Comments

  1. grahamwjenkins +15

    Remember, the universally approved symbol for the trinkets you use as currency is “֎,” as in “She tossed the ֎30 he demanded at him. The bottlecaps clattered to the floor.”

  2. bibliophibian +59

    Aw, I saw “style guide” and thought this was going to be all about Postapocalyptic Knitwear!

    1. malloryelis +60

      when have you guys ever known me to write about knitwear, i still don’t know the difference between looms and sewing and crochets

      1. RudyRed +80

        Soooo you’re saying you need someone to do a write-up on the hottest Post-Apocalyptic Knit Fashion?

  4. celery +15

    I look forward to our dystopian hellscape future, when I will no longer have to spend time looking up which prepositions my current client wants to capitalize and whether or not I need to capitalize the second word in a hyphenated compound.

  6. McGravin +8

    Is this style guide for the same setting as “In Here, You’re Family. Out There, You’re On Your Own.”?

  7. DappledThings +39

    As someone who already turns to the Chicago Manual of Style for comfort and structure in this world of uncertainty, I thank you for correctly anticipating the priorities of your readership once the Skyburn advances.

  8. Kallitropos +7

    It’s amazing to me how two things that I am kind of exhausted by individually can be so great when mashed together.

  9. damanoid +86

    Obviously these rule’s were written before the Apostro’lypse. Afterward’s, superfluous apostrophe’s were considered sign’s of wealth and plenty, reminder’s of the extravagant comfort’s of day’s gone by.

        2. Count_01 +10

          There is a place reserved in the Special Hell for those who did not laugh out loud at this comment.

  10. OpheliaInWaders +6

    I just sent this to the head of my company’s Publications dept; hoping she decides to make it official.

  12. Sean_Sullivan +77

    Style Manual for Water Marshals and Bread-Givers (Sixth Edition, Bronze Head)

    Sixth edition? Man, I don’t know. I’m one of those sticks-in-the-mud who think the quality of the SMfWMaBG went straight to hell after the Bronzists bought out the mark. Since then it’s been an unnecessary new edition every year, each one sloppier than the last.

    I’ll admit that 6E is slimmer and more focused than the unwieldy mess that was 5E, but just look at what they stripped out to make weight:

    -Distinct rules for en, em, and ω dashes
    -Acceptable uses for passive voice
    -Modes of address for margraves, burgraves, vidames, rectrices, tetrarchs, lords ascendant, athelings, silentiaries, hierodules, landragons, Princes of No Blood, and the état-major of the Seven Agonies.
    -The chapter on the ritual applications of parallelism and anaphora, which had been one of the last holdovers from the first edition. (By now, pretty much all the original sections on rhetoric have been expunged, or at least diluted with constant exhortations to “RENDER ALL UNTO THE HEAD OF BRONZE.”)

    There’s no reason to send your hard-earned sherds to these jokers when you can buy perfectly good secondhand copies of the Glassy Crux editions at your local solace fair. I still keep my old man’s SMfWMaBG 1E buried in a place of honor near my hearth. It must be eighty turnings old now, but the pages still reek of salt and terror, as though just arrived from the binder’s.