Multi-Use Steel Table, $76.99 (was $132.99) Is it warm in here or is it just me or is it just global climate change, lol? Whichever is the case, we’re patio dreaming. And patio dreams begin with best friends suggesting an “outdoor bar” in the form of a potting station. Sold.
Rory Becca Shirred Back Dress, $72.60 (was $242) This screams “NICE WEATHER” or it screams “MAKE ME IN WHITE FOR YOUR WEDDING.” Admit it! Maybe pair with these shoes:
House of Harlow 1960 Izzy, $42.99 (were $140) They also come in white. Do not forget a necklace:
Chico’s Collectibles Sun Glitter Necklace, $49.99 (was $149) This concludes your monthly reminder that Chico’s is the go-to joint for wild aunt necklaces.
Photive HYDRA Waterproof Bluetooth Speaker, $39.95 (was $139) I always forget music outside. It feels so jerky to make my neighbors listen to my shit but at the same time Future traps are way less offensive than my casual conversations so maybe I’m doing them a favor?
Deco Screen Plant Stand, $139.99 (was $199) Tell us what it’s like to have enough outdoor space that you’d need to divide it with this.
Stila All Day Prime & Anti Shine Balm, $15 (was $24) Seems useful for warmer weather, but also seems weird to call an anti-shine product a “balm.” Maybe that’s why it’s on sale.
Saint-Tropez Sculptural Metal Hoop Garden Chair, $324.99 (was $377.88) Will these be the cast iron garden settees of our generation? And do we care?
I wasn’t into that necklace until I read the caption and realized that it WOULD definitely fall in line with the eccentric aunt archetype that I’m slowly making my way toward (and am 100% unironically excited about).
AH! Yes! A friend of mine gave me a couple of her aunt’s jewelry pieces because she thought I’d like them and they are 100% not my style, but it was so sweet of her to offer so I took them, thinking I’d just use them for wall decor but then I decided to try wearing one this week and holy shit it was awesome sauntering around in my slouchy jersey skirt, combat boots, and old-lady jewelry.
Old lady jewelry ftw.
I am the eccentric(ish)/artsy/craftsy aunt who makes each niece and nephew (as well as my own kids) a hand-made Christmas ornament every year.
I did not know my taste in jewelry could be summarised as “wild aunt necklaces”. I will do so henceforth.
I have a necklace that I bought at a craft fair that I absolutely LOVE but one day a guy who was trying to hit on me complimented my necklace by telling me his grandma would love it. It stung for a second there but then I decided “meh whatever if this is a grandma necklace grandmas got good taste.”
Yeah, there’s a certain class of grandma that’s exudes “I don’t give a shit what you think, I think this necklace is amazing and fun and I’m going to wear it because after 70 years I’m secure in what I like and want and everyone else can go screw” ——- and that’s the kind of grandma I want to be like.
Those SHOES. All that GARDEN STUFF. Don’t do this to me, I am but a lowly intern. (And I manage to kill every plant I touch, anyway. Yes, even bamboo, which I was assured repeatedly wasn’t possible, and yet here I am with three empty pots and sad dead bamboo stalks.)
I kill bamboo all the time. The people who say you can’t kill bamboo are bad people who lie.
oh yeah in a pot you can kill it, the problem is trying to kill it when it’s growing in your back yard
Yeah, there was a bamboo grove on my college campus that was a stubborn nightmare for maitenence. Bamboo seems to be an all-or-nothing thing in my experience: it either dies immediately or REFUSES TO DIE.
Or in the back yard of the neighbor your house backs up to, and who could give a shit about yard stuff, even when her bamboo is not only crawling through our fence, but growing into a thicket around the power lines and we have constant brownouts.
I have an invasive over-the-fence neighbor who is as phonily sweet as Dolores Umbridge and thinks complaining about what I’ve done with my own garden is ‘just trying to be a good neighbor.’ Maybe I should plant bamboo and then I’ll never have to look at her again.
Bamboo, a taller fence, a dog trained to bark at her. Something should be done.
yes!!! A silent response. This would be fantastic! My mother once tried to do that to a neighbor (who had a very ugly plasticky yard) using yew trees, but they grew too slowly. Bamboo for the win!
Black Thumb club! I have killed cactuses and air plants, so the closest I get to vegetation these days is eating it.
Cacti are actually advanced gardening, so don’t blame yourself.
I’m not convinced air plants are actually alive…
I did not know that about cactuses! I was like, “These things manage to take care of themselves in the HARSHEST ENVIRONMENTS ON EARTH, and it lasted 2 weeks in my bedroom, I’m a murderer.”
Also, very possible my air plant was never alive – I did successfully grow mold all over it, though.
I grew up in the Sonora Desert. Yes, harsh environment. But *unvarying* environment. Cacti require a constant environment in extremely narrow ranges of temperature, light, and (non)humidity. Cacti are quite delicate.
My air plants just shriveled. And I’m pretty good with growing things–not master gardener, but comfortable with most flora. But a big nope to the air plants.
And as RoseCamelia also explains, cacti are like polar bears. Very tough in one limited environment, fragile everywhere else.
I have killed multiple bamboos. I didn’t even know you weren’t supposed to be able to kill it. And I tried so hard to keep it alive!
Right? I gave you everything I had to give, bamboo, why this!
I’ve given you sunshine…I’ve given you dirt. You’ve given me nothing…but heartache and hurt.
I killed all my succulents this winter. *money flying away emoji*
I killed two succulents and will never let myself be tempted again. Even if the terrariums are really goddamn cute and I always adore them.
I killed two as well, but two others started having succulent babies so in the end it was more like +9. Also non-ideal!
They actually sometimes have babies when they are in a difficult condition/don’t have enough room, so they might have babies for a gardener having troubles. Throw the dice again in a few years when you’re in the mood again, maybe?
This is absolutely not a complaint directed to Friday Bargain Bin because that dress is incredibly cute and I’d totally include it too BUT can we just focus for a second on how their large is an 8 and that’s effing ridiculous.
*flames on the side of my face*
Has it been established that Diane Lockhart is an aunt?
i love diane lockhart’s style soooo much. and lucca’s! the costuming on that show is so great — you really get a sense of who people are through what they wear.
It hasn’t to my knowledge but she totally could be
I’m pretty sure my grandmother owns that necklace…
what bra do you wear with that dress tho
IKR? I was like, “I don’t think I have the tits to pull that dress off.” But then I was like, “I don’t caaaaaarrrreee! I’d try it anyway!”
I think it’s mostly for people whose boobs are not subjected to gravitational forces… or free range boob people, I guess. 🙂
I know, I got so excited about that dress because I love all backless and all flowy things, but then I remember I have boobs : (
I assumed it was a nightgown!
same
You get a medallion-y enough aunt necklace, you don’t need a bra.
I mean, that necklace is essentially a breastplate anyway.
I might be renting a condo with a decently spacious balcony (well, by condo balcony standards, it’s no deck) as of May so I am here for all your small patio table/chair/plant pot/whatever recommendations.
Can’t beat IKEA for a nice tiny patio set.
Sears has nice patio furniture also.
I’m always seeing items in junk/antique shops that would make excellent outdoor furniture. Empty wire spools for chairs. A coffee table from an old pantry door with decrepit fruit crates supporting each end. So cheap that when the weather destroys them in 3 years, I can replace them easily.
Highly recommend self-watering pots for balconies. They require less upkeep in general, but might need their reservoirs to be filled with sand to prevent mosquitoes. Also, it’s not out of the question to make your own, if you’re a handy sort.
Something about that garden chair makes me think of the Iron Throne from Game of Thrones. New summer patio aesthetic?
See, now I’m just tempted to learn welding so I can make myself an Iron Throne for my backyard.
Someone please get me that plant stand for my apartment, and also please get me an apartment where natural light comes in for more than one hour a day so that I can actually have plants and not worry that they’re going to die immediately.
I also kind of love those shoes, but they look like something my mom would have worn in the late 90s and that worries me.
I have a huge yard with a teeny little deck that is useless for entertaining. However, I also have a balcony and a great big front porch, so that makes up for it in my mind. Maybe a huge circular cast iron thingie is in my future?
Usually I scroll through these and like one or two items, but today I scream IT ME!!
Then I consider the tininess and boob physics impossiblity of that dress… alas. 🙁
So, after looking at the necklace section of the Chico’s website out of horrified curiosity, I’m imagining the conversations in their design department go as follows:
Person A: Okay people, who’s got ideas for the spring line?
Person B: So I was thinking about it, and it hit me–how about we make all the necklaces big?
Person A: Big? What do you mean?
Person B: I mean large. Huge. Enormous. Gigantic. SO BIG YOU WILL FEEL LIKE YOUR NECK IS ABOUT TO BREAK AND YOU WILL TOPPLE FORWARD UNDER THE WEIGHT OF IT ALL.
*whole room applauds furiously*
Two monks invent statement necklaces?
Etsy just returned 524 items to a search for “Medieval statement necklaces.”
ttHat dresssssssssssssss, tho.
That Stila thing reminds me of Benefit’s Dr. Feelgood stuff. Which is also sort of balm-like, in that it is a solid rather than a liquid or powder and you sort of use a sponge to smear it on your face. Which sounds weird but is actually awesome and I am considering buying that Stila thing. Is what I am saying.
I have a super-oily face with huge pores and also fine lines…..I own like eight different primers, but I used to own and love Dr Feelgood, but shit, that Stila stuff is cheaper right now. TEMPTED.
(Right now the primer I use most days is an e.l.f. one with salicylic acid in it.)
Though….the reviews of the Stila stuff are not good. Especially if you filter for only people with oily skin. Fuck it. Pass.
Are you meant to put a cushion in that cast iron thing, or are you just supposed to look at it? I can’t decide if it’s a garden papasan or a garden sculpture.
It looks like it would hurt to sit on. Although the resulting waffle-butt would be very artistic.
Ok, I bought the Stila stuff, we will see what the deal is. I have oily skin and big pores so I am always on the look out for something to “fix” that. Maybe this is it (probably not).
In other bargain news, someone who is an 8 (Petite), or a 14, 22, or 26 should go order this pink dress: http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-34-sleeve…
Maybe when Land’s End delivers a decent apology for throwing the Women’s Health Initiative and Gloria Steinem under the bus to please their conservative customers… As if the rest of us don’t ever need basic cotton separates, down vests, or bathing suits.
Yeah, but F Lands End (the F not standing for feminism)
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/01/business/catalo…
Holy crap, I totally missed this whole thing.
I just bought that speaker, thanks Jane!
I already own that divider and I love it so much that I paid full price and then waited 6 months while it was backordered and I was still overjoyed when it finally delivered in the middle of the coldest winter I’ve ever had. it’s that good.
I’m using it inside with indoor plants rn but someday I will move it outside.
Alas, I live in a studio apartment. I would have to party on the fire escape if I want a patio experience.
In regards to making neighbors listen to your music I think as long as it is during normal hours and isn’t ridunkulously loud it is okay, but we had neighbors who every year would have a like three day and night party and would blast Jamaican music through the entire time and being woken up at 3 in the morning because of super loud Jamaican music three nights in a row is enough to make you want to commit neighborcide just saying.
Uuuuuuuugh when I was in high school, we had neighbors who had three teenage boys who were basically feral (father deceased, mother alcoholic, no supervision) and they threw a rager backyard kegger until all hours with loud music THE NIGHT BEFORE I TOOK THE SAT.
Seriously, it is enough to make you want to commit neighborcide.
Sometimes my neighbors have a mariachi band in the backyard, which sounds awful but is actually kind of fun. They always wrap up by 9. Now, that one 4th of July where they set of a gazillion firecrackers, that one made me want to douse everything with gasoline.
I will take Jamaican music over the shite top-40 radio that the neighbours in my previous place played. Like, I know you’re probably not in love with my Serge Gainsbourg over here, but if you turn your Aerosmith up until I cannot hear it, I pretty much guarantee that I will be blasting the ever living hell out of some really angry, discordant post-punk and i will win this battle.
Hail HYDRA.
I can tell you that I have so much outdoor space that that divider ain’t gonna divide shit.
yes!!! A silent response. This would be fantastic! My mother once tried to do that to a neighbor (who had a very ugly plasticky yard) using yew trees, but they grew too slowly. Bamboo for the win!
I killed two as well, but two others started having succulent babies so in the end it was more like +9. Also non-ideal!
They actually sometimes have babies when they are in a difficult condition/don't have enough room, so they might have babies for a gardener having troubles. Throw the dice again in a few years when you're in the mood again, maybe?
Sometimes my neighbors have a mariachi band in the backyard, which sounds awful but is actually kind of fun. They always wrap up by 9. Now, that one 4th of July where they set of a gazillion firecrackers, that one made me want to douse everything with gasoline.
That plant stand would look pretty cool in my sunroom, but it also looks like it’d topple over the first time my cats tried to climb it.
ETA – it’s not so much that we have so much space that it needs to be divided, it’s that we have SO many plants, so so many plants.
That plant stand would look pretty cool in my sunroom, but it also looks like it'd topple over the first time my cats tried to climb it.
ETA – it's not so much that we have so much space that it needs to be divided, it's that we have SO many plants, so so many plants.
YES the Photive speakers are AMAZING – I’ve had them for over a year now and I’m obsessed, AMA.