The job where instead of firing employees she didn’t like, my manager would move their cubicle every three months until they quit.

The job where I knew it was time to go when she moved my cubicle to a spot directly under the air conditioning vent.

The job where my director would look at my lunch and say, “Wow, are you going to eat all of that?”

Previously in this series: If Lupito Nyong'o Were Your Girlfriend If Blake Lively were your girlfriend, you would wake up one day to find that your bedroom was now decorated in a way that you had only ever dreamed of in your most secret heart. The duvet would be soft, the paint color soothing, and your favorite childhood stuffed animal would sit on the nightstand. You would walk into the kitchen, where Blake Lively…

This post is brought to you by MyEvilTwin, and is spiritually dedicated to the eternal majesty of the late Edward Gorey and also how much we don't like Elf on a Shelf.

A is for Ann skewered on a holly stake

B is for Brighton who ate the fruitcake

C is for Clio dismembered by cat

D is for Dylan by dinos stomped flat

E is for Ella by…

Two friends and I had a blog called Don’t Do That where we ranted about things we liked and didn’t like. We didn’t like white tights or pantyhose with open-toed shoes. This did not go over well with a certain group, who expressed their displeasure through dozens of comments that boiled down to “you are ugly, hose are great, allow me to say this in the creepiest way possible.” Three years after we

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