Lucia Peters' previous work for The Toast can be found here. There’s a story out there with the deliciously bizarre title of “The Noise Coming from Inside Children.” Written by a little-known author by the name of Ed Kann, it’s widely considered by those who have read it to be one of the most disturbing pieces of fiction ever conceived. It didn’t drive anyone mad just because they read it or anything; it did,…
To Prevent Changelings, seek a basal body temperature as cold as iron or a virgin woman's suffering. To Ensure The Birth Of A Child With A Caul, A Most Fortuitous Blessing, seek to conceive within 12-24 hours of ovulation or touching the cloak of a master thief. To Ensure Your Child Is A Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son, abandon your daughters by the banks of a river with only a ring and a blanket as markers…
Once upon a time, there lived a woman and a man who hoped with all their hearts for a little baby to call their own. They sought the help of shamans, who drew their blood and mixed spells to create a child, but nothing could remedy their plight. One day, a blonde witch in disguise as a princess came to them, boasting a kind heart and
Clara Rotter-Laitman's previous work for The Toast can be found here. When it comes to Jewish-American Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties there are some traditions that lay far outside the logic of a Jewish coming-of-age ceremony: the montage, the candle lighting ceremony and others. Nonetheless, these kitsch traditions have found their place next to the religious ones and willnotbudge. It’s hard to know exactly where they came from, but here is one…
Hunger is the beginning of every story. It might not be the most literal sort of hunger, but there is always something wanted, what the folklorist Vladimir Propp summed up as “lack.” There is something missing--to get the shivers, to find a lost brother, to make a solemn princess laugh, to have a child-- and by the end of the story, that absence is satisfied-- the lack is “liquidated.”
*”A Dialogue” sounds really official like we sat across from each other in our best finery while sipping from mugs of coffee inscribed with our logo but really it was a gchat conversation. It has been lightly edited for clarity.Ezekiel Kweku (Shrill): Hi, Priya. Priya Alika Elias (Wordy): Hi! S: Against my better judgment, and because I wanted to understand nerds better, I revisited an ancient and seminal nerd text: the 1984 teen comedy…
A few years ago, when my brother's girlfriend was pregnant, my mom called to tell me that nearly the entire carton of eggs in the fridge had double yolks inside.
OK?
“It means your brother is going to have twins.” (Obviously.) That idea popped into her head with the first egg, but she kept going. Two yellow yolks plopped out of several eggs.
Aimee Ouellette's previous work for The Toast can be found here. Cave of Altamira, Spain. 40,00 B.C.E An adult male Neanderthal sneaks quietly into a cave system near to his own. He shuffles past several sleeping female Neanderthals. In his right hand, he carries a small pipe loaded with ochre pigment. He walks far into the cave, finds the perfect wall, and then uses his left hand to hold his dick against the wall.
Caroline O'Donoghue's previous work for The Toast can be found here.
When I was in college, my University allowed me the option of studying several film history courses. If you're nodding, that is because you also did an English degree, and half of the reason why you did it was because they promised you there would be film history courses, or art courses, or another kind of course that you didn't have
Were you a stoner, a jock, a nerd, or a many-talon’d extraterrestrial in high school?
High school was a crazy time, wasn’t it? Hormones swirling, report cards looming, diseases riddling your planet until only you remain – it was wild for everyone. What group were you part of?
1. Uh-oh, you forgot about a major test in Econ today! You…
THERE was once upon a time a widow who had two daughters. The eldest was so much like her in the face and humor that whoever looked upon the daughter saw the mother whether they wanted to or not. They were both so disagreeable and so proud that there was no living with them, but of course neither of them had much of a choice in the matter. The youngest, who was the very picture…
Fairy tales are women's tales. This has been said before, in words cleverer and more articulate than my own, but still, it bears repeating: fairy tales are women's tales. They're bent-backed crones' tales, sly gossips' tales, work-worn mothers' tales and old wives' tales. They're stories shared, repeated and elaborated on over mindless women's work like spinning or mending or shucking corn. These stories are the voices of those who were, within a social and cultural…
Previously in the Ronbledore saga: J.K. Rowling “regret[s] pairing Ron and Hermione together (because Ron is a time-traveling Dumbledore).” J.K. Rowling has long attempted to downplay the existence of Ronbledore in early drafts of the Harry Potter books. A recent court order has released these never-before-seen drafts that have only been the stuff of legends. Until now. "In OotP, Ron is nearly strangled by some purple wizard robes while cleaning up Grimmauld Place. Who do we…
King Akrisios had a daughter of surpassing beauty, Danaë, but no son. Eventually he sent a messenger to the Oracle at Delphi to ask what hope he had for an heir. He received a grim prophecy in answer: he would have no son, but his grandson would kill him. Then Akrisios locked his daughter in a bronze chamber and refused to let her out. But Zeus, smitten by her beauty, slipped through a high…
